It's a weird thought to have when it comes to Dazai, of all people. But when Chuuya had run into him, late at night, driving around on his motorcycle because he couldn't sleep, he hadn't actually planned to drive them out of Yokohama. He'd stopped, let Dazai on, and then decided he didn't want to let him off again. It was too late to bother sleeping anyway, and all Chuuya had to look forward to in the morning was meetings, reports he still hadn't written, more work even though he was already ahead on everything he needed to do. But he'd worked extra hard lately, trying to prove... something.
Something he already proved years ago.
So instead of looping the city, like he usually does, he'd turned around, and headed out of Yokohama completely, never actually giving Dazai a chance to object.
And now here they are, a small town a little way outside of Yokohama. Chuuya only stopped because he's been driving for a while, and he could use a break. He has to be more cautious with Dazai behind him. He rolls his shoulders as he gets off, a little disappointed to lose the warm weight of his ex-partner pressed against his back.]
Let's get some coffee.
[No, he has no intention of addressing this kidnapping. Dazai will just have to put up with it. But they're here now, so they might as well get some breakfast.]
[It's strange, spending time with Dazai, knowing that things are different between them now. Or: Not different, but verbalized. Acknowledged. Confessed. Something that should have been impossible.
And now they're going dancing. The receptionist at their hotel had suggested it when they asked if anything was happening nearby, and even though it's something almost too normal for people like them... Or maybe because it's too normal, and the whole point of this was to get away from Yokohama and who they're supposed to be, and what they're not supposed to be. Or maybe because it just sounds like fun, and it doesn't have to be anything deeper than that.
It did mean having to go shopping again. Chuuya needed a dress - partially because it's an excuse to wear heels, which means Dazai won't be that much taller than him for once - and then he needed a matching gold collar, one with a few simple chains as decoration. His usual black leather collar wouldn't match the outfit, and he doesn't like the feeling of his throat being bare, but this one could almost pass as a fancy necklace. He did end up spending a lot of money on all of it. He spent more money to save them another shopping trip (Dazai would get bored if that's all they spent their time doing, and honestly so would he), so he'd decided to hire a personal shopper while the two of them had fun at an arcade.
(How many arcades have they been kicked out of by now?)
And now they're at the venue, Chuuya holding onto Dazai's arm, already allowing him to lead. He's confident in situations like these. Kouyou has taught him well, and he knows he looks good, loves when he can draw the right kind of attention. There's only one detail -- ]
We've both been given dance lessons in the past, but back then I was only taught how to lead.
[And while the basic steps are similar enough, he's going to need a minute to figure out anything more complex. But he's an overachiever, so obviously he can't settle for less.]
[Chuuya's a little disappointed that Dazai's not in bed with him when he wakes up - but only a little. He remembers falling asleep curled up against him, and when he opens his eyes he can still see some of Dazai's clothes still in the room, which means he's most likely close by. Dazai doesn't sleep all that much, it's one of the reasons why Chuuya made sure the suite they're in had two separate rooms.
He stretches, tempted to stay in bed a little longer, but as usual ignoring the temptation. Instead he grabs Dazai's shirt off the floor for something to wear, buttoning up only a couple of the buttons, but not bothering to pretend he's using it to actually cover up. He should find Dazai. They'll have to head back to Yokohama today, and Chuuya's gonna have to figure out a way to get everything he bought for them sent back home as well. He's not really looking forward to this vacation-kidnapping to end.
He tells himself it doesn't mean that what they're doing is going to end as well.]
Morning.
[He's still a little relieved when he actually finds Dazai in the other room. And - oh, good, Dazai has already ordered himself some coffee. Chuuya walks over to snatch that away so he can have a sip himself.]
[Chuuya really needs to pull himself together. He's been telling himself that all day, and all last night since before Dazai left, trying his best to push through it, to focus on work instead, but even by now he still hasn't managed. He should be able to - this is just something that happens sometimes, after sex like that, like an adrenaline crash after an intense mission. It's not exactly a big deal, even if it's not usually this bad.
Except he hadn't even been able to hide it this time. Kouyou had called him out for how tired he seemed, for looking pale, and had sent him home thinking he might be catching a cold. He'd listened, even though he doesn't feel like being alone, either, which had probably worried her even more. He sighs.
He's gonna pull himself together now, though. Or by tomorrow, at least. He basically just threw his off his clothes when he got home, changing into a sweatshirt and pants, old and worn and soft because of it, and a little too big. He'd taken a moment to clean off the toys that were still left on the floor, placing them in his closet with the rest of their his collection, making sure the tail and ears wouldn't be ruined, the only thing he has the patience to show any care for. And then he opens a bottle of wine and pours himself a glass. Maybe he can allow himself to get drunk and mope the rest of the day, until he's needed again.
Or at least that's the plan. But in the end he barely gets through one glass of wine before the lethargy gets too strong. He's curled up on the couch, feet tucked under him, feeling a bit cold but not caring as he finds himself dozing on and off.]
[Chuuya isn't even sure how he ended up having this kind of conversation with a stranger. He'd just wanted to grab a drink after a too long day, something to help him wind down before going home to sleep. Work had left him tired and a bit grumpy, since he'd been up caught up in unplanned meetings due to other people's mistakes, and he hadn't wanted to stay that late for once. He'd kinda been hoping he'd be able to meet up with Dazai for dinner.
He's still not used to allowing himself to admit how much he wants that.
But that hadn't happened, he's here instead, and then some guy had tried to hit on him, and hadn't taken no for an answer. And things had just... derailed, turned into a conversation that has Chuuya too embarrassed, ordering himself another drink. But Chuuya had accidentally said he had a partner just to get this guy to back off, and apparently, when someone says "what he doesn't know won't hurt him," answering that the bastard always knows makes it sound like you don't actually like your partner. And now Chuuya is stuck trying to explain himself.]
He's just a... he's a bastard! That's got nothing to do with anything! Especially not how I -- I feel.
[He's too drunk already. That's what he gets for missing dinner. He's gesturing with his hands as though that'll help convey his (lack of) thoughts, gratefully accepting his new drink from the bartender and taking a long sip from it.]
Not like I even promised him anything. Doesn't matter. Don't want anyone else, so fuck off. He knows what I want. He's better.
[And that's when the conversation really goes south. Because this complete stranger just outright says "sounds like you really love him," as though love isn't something that feels more illegal to him than murder. Chuuya nearly spits out his drink.]
No! That doesn't work for us! I don't know, maybe. Yeah. I don't know! [How does he escape this conversation?] Shut up. It's not good enough. Definitely not something that half-hearted.
[At least now the stranger is starting to look like he wants out of the conversation, too.]
[Chuuya adjusts his shirt, relieved he was smart enough to use some body adhesive on the torn pieces of it so they don't all slide up to his chest. He can still feel it shifting a little, but mostly he's fidgeting as a distraction from the other parts his costume. And what he's wearing underneath it.
He can't believe he let Dazai talk him into this. He can't believe he was so easy to convince. But spending the day together sounded nice, and it's halloween, so dressing up in a costume sounded fun. But of course it wasn't that simple. And now he's out in public, dressed as a dog (wolf), and while the tail this time isn't directly attached to the plug, of course Dazai made him wear one anyway. And it's very very difficult to focus on anything else.]
So we're going to a haunted house themed escape room?
[Dazai could probably figure out the escape room in no time at all, only slowed down by having to physically move parts of any puzzles, but Chuuya doubts he'll make it that easy. That would be too boring for him, after all.]
And then the local arcade has a bunch of horror themed games set up... Dazai, can't we skip that one?
[Not because he gets scared playing those games, of course. But even if it was just normal arcade games, Chuuya wouldn't survive that long walking around wearing a buttplug. Maybe he should just jump Dazai right now. He does look really good in that costume of his.]
[It took Chuuya a while to find the right kink list. Some of them were surprisingly boring, or covered only things they've tried already. Other lists included just a little too much, and there are some ideas he'd prefer not to put into Dazai's head if he can help it. He knows Dazai is supposed to bring his own list as well, but at least this way it won't be Chuuya's fault if he happened to come across the same things. He prints out the list, and then deletes his internet history, just in case, and then googles how to make sure your internet history can't be restored again. He's not sure even that will be enough, but at least he tried.
He's weirdly nervous about it, too. If his research just now is anything to judge by, the two of them are pretty damn kinky already, but they've never really talked about it before. They both have a general idea of what the other likes, and Dazai is unnerringly good at knowing exactly where Chuuya's limits are, and proves it by pushing him right up to the edge of them. just because he can. But after this, Chuuya won't be able to lie and claim he doesn't want certain things aymore. Well, he still can, technically. And Dazai will believe those lies exactly as much as he always did. And Chuuya will end up agreeing anyway.
Chuuya is tempted to pour himself some wine, but decides to resist for now. He doesn't want to be drunk by the time Dazai gets there.]
You're late.
[It's Dazai. Of course he's late. But being nervous makes Chuuya impatient. He yanks Dazai down so he can kiss him hard, wrapping an arm around his neck to make it harder for him to straighten back up. And then he bites at Dazai's lower lip, just to make himself feel a bit better. It helps.]
[The day has finally come! ... Well, that makes it sound a lot more important to Dazai than it actually is. Not that it's not important, but it was really inevitable to introduce Chuuya to his coworkers in a less-than-professional way - and he thinks it went well! Admittedly, even things going slightly iffy entertains Dazai, so his standards were always going to be met.
When they leave the Agency after an overly loud goodbye from Dazai to his coworkers (who, contrary to him, are likely to actually do some work today), Dazai puts an arm around Chuuya, leaning in close.]
And? What do you think~?
[Like Chuuya didn't know the Agency already... like he hasn't met some of these people before. But this is a slightly different context, so Dazai considers it a valid (enough) question.
That, or he just enjoys this kind of family-play a little too much. (Is he serious? Or is he making a game of it? Yes.)]
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It's a weird thought to have when it comes to Dazai, of all people. But when Chuuya had run into him, late at night, driving around on his motorcycle because he couldn't sleep, he hadn't actually planned to drive them out of Yokohama. He'd stopped, let Dazai on, and then decided he didn't want to let him off again. It was too late to bother sleeping anyway, and all Chuuya had to look forward to in the morning was meetings, reports he still hadn't written, more work even though he was already ahead on everything he needed to do. But he'd worked extra hard lately, trying to prove... something.
Something he already proved years ago.
So instead of looping the city, like he usually does, he'd turned around, and headed out of Yokohama completely, never actually giving Dazai a chance to object.
And now here they are, a small town a little way outside of Yokohama. Chuuya only stopped because he's been driving for a while, and he could use a break. He has to be more cautious with Dazai behind him. He rolls his shoulders as he gets off, a little disappointed to lose the warm weight of his ex-partner pressed against his back.]
Let's get some coffee.
[No, he has no intention of addressing this kidnapping. Dazai will just have to put up with it. But they're here now, so they might as well get some breakfast.]
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And now they're going dancing. The receptionist at their hotel had suggested it when they asked if anything was happening nearby, and even though it's something almost too normal for people like them... Or maybe because it's too normal, and the whole point of this was to get away from Yokohama and who they're supposed to be, and what they're not supposed to be. Or maybe because it just sounds like fun, and it doesn't have to be anything deeper than that.
It did mean having to go shopping again. Chuuya needed a dress - partially because it's an excuse to wear heels, which means Dazai won't be that much taller than him for once - and then he needed a matching gold collar, one with a few simple chains as decoration. His usual black leather collar wouldn't match the outfit, and he doesn't like the feeling of his throat being bare, but this one could almost pass as a fancy necklace. He did end up spending a lot of money on all of it. He spent more money to save them another shopping trip (Dazai would get bored if that's all they spent their time doing, and honestly so would he), so he'd decided to hire a personal shopper while the two of them had fun at an arcade.
(How many arcades have they been kicked out of by now?)
And now they're at the venue, Chuuya holding onto Dazai's arm, already allowing him to lead. He's confident in situations like these. Kouyou has taught him well, and he knows he looks good, loves when he can draw the right kind of attention. There's only one detail -- ]
We've both been given dance lessons in the past, but back then I was only taught how to lead.
[And while the basic steps are similar enough, he's going to need a minute to figure out anything more complex. But he's an overachiever, so obviously he can't settle for less.]
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He stretches, tempted to stay in bed a little longer, but as usual ignoring the temptation. Instead he grabs Dazai's shirt off the floor for something to wear, buttoning up only a couple of the buttons, but not bothering to pretend he's using it to actually cover up. He should find Dazai. They'll have to head back to Yokohama today, and Chuuya's gonna have to figure out a way to get everything he bought for them sent back home as well. He's not really looking forward to this vacation-kidnapping to end.
He tells himself it doesn't mean that what they're doing is going to end as well.]
Morning.
[He's still a little relieved when he actually finds Dazai in the other room. And - oh, good, Dazai has already ordered himself some coffee. Chuuya walks over to snatch that away so he can have a sip himself.]
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Except he hadn't even been able to hide it this time. Kouyou had called him out for how tired he seemed, for looking pale, and had sent him home thinking he might be catching a cold. He'd listened, even though he doesn't feel like being alone, either, which had probably worried her even more. He sighs.
He's gonna pull himself together now, though. Or by tomorrow, at least. He basically just threw his off his clothes when he got home, changing into a sweatshirt and pants, old and worn and soft because of it, and a little too big. He'd taken a moment to clean off the toys that were still left on the floor, placing them in his closet with the rest of
theirhis collection, making sure the tail and ears wouldn't be ruined, the only thing he has the patience to show any care for. And then he opens a bottle of wine and pours himself a glass. Maybe he can allow himself to get drunk and mope the rest of the day, until he's needed again.Or at least that's the plan. But in the end he barely gets through one glass of wine before the lethargy gets too strong. He's curled up on the couch, feet tucked under him, feeling a bit cold but not caring as he finds himself dozing on and off.]
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He's still not used to allowing himself to admit how much he wants that.
But that hadn't happened, he's here instead, and then some guy had tried to hit on him, and hadn't taken no for an answer. And things had just... derailed, turned into a conversation that has Chuuya too embarrassed, ordering himself another drink. But Chuuya had accidentally said he had a partner just to get this guy to back off, and apparently, when someone says "what he doesn't know won't hurt him," answering that the bastard always knows makes it sound like you don't actually like your partner. And now Chuuya is stuck trying to explain himself.]
He's just a... he's a bastard! That's got nothing to do with anything! Especially not how I -- I feel.
[He's too drunk already. That's what he gets for missing dinner. He's gesturing with his hands as though that'll help convey his (lack of) thoughts, gratefully accepting his new drink from the bartender and taking a long sip from it.]
Not like I even promised him anything. Doesn't matter. Don't want anyone else, so fuck off. He knows what I want. He's better.
[And that's when the conversation really goes south. Because this complete stranger just outright says "sounds like you really love him," as though love isn't something that feels more illegal to him than murder. Chuuya nearly spits out his drink.]
No! That doesn't work for us! I don't know, maybe. Yeah. I don't know! [How does he escape this conversation?] Shut up. It's not good enough. Definitely not something that half-hearted.
[At least now the stranger is starting to look like he wants out of the conversation, too.]
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He can't believe he let Dazai talk him into this. He can't believe he was so easy to convince. But spending the day together sounded nice, and it's halloween, so dressing up in a costume sounded fun. But of course it wasn't that simple. And now he's out in public, dressed as a dog (wolf), and while the tail this time isn't directly attached to the plug, of course Dazai made him wear one anyway. And it's very very difficult to focus on anything else.]
So we're going to a haunted house themed escape room?
[Dazai could probably figure out the escape room in no time at all, only slowed down by having to physically move parts of any puzzles, but Chuuya doubts he'll make it that easy. That would be too boring for him, after all.]
And then the local arcade has a bunch of horror themed games set up... Dazai, can't we skip that one?
[Not because he gets scared playing those games, of course. But even if it was just normal arcade games, Chuuya wouldn't survive that long walking around wearing a buttplug. Maybe he should just jump Dazai right now. He does look really good in that costume of his.]
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He's weirdly nervous about it, too. If his research just now is anything to judge by, the two of them are pretty damn kinky already, but they've never really talked about it before. They both have a general idea of what the other likes, and Dazai is unnerringly good at knowing exactly where Chuuya's limits are, and proves it by pushing him right up to the edge of them. just because he can. But after this, Chuuya won't be able to lie and claim he doesn't want certain things aymore. Well, he still can, technically. And Dazai will believe those lies exactly as much as he always did. And Chuuya will end up agreeing anyway.
Chuuya is tempted to pour himself some wine, but decides to resist for now. He doesn't want to be drunk by the time Dazai gets there.]
You're late.
[It's Dazai. Of course he's late. But being nervous makes Chuuya impatient. He yanks Dazai down so he can kiss him hard, wrapping an arm around his neck to make it harder for him to straighten back up. And then he bites at Dazai's lower lip, just to make himself feel a bit better. It helps.]
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When they leave the Agency after an overly loud goodbye from Dazai to his coworkers (who, contrary to him, are likely to actually do some work today), Dazai puts an arm around Chuuya, leaning in close.]
And? What do you think~?
[Like Chuuya didn't know the Agency already... like he hasn't met some of these people before. But this is a slightly different context, so Dazai considers it a valid (enough) question.
That, or he just enjoys this kind of family-play a little too much. (Is he serious? Or is he making a game of it? Yes.)]
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