[It's an honest enough admission! Dazai is pleased to hear it, too. It's not like he doesn't know these things, but sometimes it's still nice to have them spelled out. It's yet another way in which Chuuya manages not to be boring even when he is predictable - weird, but nice.]
Mhm. Maybe tomorrow.
[He doesn't mean that they're bound to have another intense kink session tomorrow, even though that certainly seems to be implied, and he doesn't bother correcting any assumptions in that direction. But it might be fun to play around with a list anyway, even if the actual "playing" may wait a while. (It feels like a new toy! New toys are meant to be played with as soon as possible!!)]
... Are you sure you haven't put enough things in my hair by now? [Not that he's not having a good time, but he can still "complain" if he wants.] The last time I used your products, everyone at work assumed I had nefarious plans to woo at least three women at the same time.
[Okay, that is a mild exaggeration. But really, these high quality products have a scent that actually lingers! It's a bit weird. (Not bad though. Even Dazai has to admit that the scents are really nice.)]
[Chuuya is definitely assuming that Dazai means they'll have another intense kink session. Maybe it's a bad idea - he doesn't know how much time he'll need to recover today, or if all of this will happen again if they do it again tomorrow - but Chuuya has never been one to back down from bad ideas. Especially not when he's horny.
And maybe he's curious to see what new things Dazai will come up with.]
Yeah. We can both try to find a list.
[And hey, don't complain when he's putting this much effort into making it feel good! Even if Dazai doesn't always like being touched too much! But Chuuya will finish up with the conditioner quickly.]
I thought they were supposed to be detectives? Can't even figure out scent marking.
[Clearly this is all just Chuuya laying claim to what's his!]
[Dazai isn't not planning to do anything tomorrow; they'll just have to see! Most kinks they haven't tried yet will likely require some preparations and/or purchases, but that's fine, too. Worst case scenario, they'll get to wallow in the joy of what they have planned for a while.
Dazai is also eager to find out where Chuuya will get his kink list from, because that is yet more information he can (ab)use. Not that he may not be stalking Chuuya's computer habits already when the mood strikes, but you know.]
That only works if it's you I'm smelling like, Chuuya! [Or not. But it's the definition that Dazai is choosing to roll with - until it gives him pause.] ... Actually, I probably do that too, don't I?
[Atsushi can definitely smell it, if he attempts to. But thankfully everyone's favorite tiger boy probably has other things on his mind most of the time, and if he were to get bold, he'd likely not practice on Dazai.]
[Chuuya would delete his internet history, if he thought it would do any good. If he really wants to keep something from Dazai, his only bet would be to use his work computer, and even then there's a chance the bastard might get access somehow...
But he's not worried about that right now. He is worried about his own realization, a few moments after Dazai's, that they do probably smell of each other, considering how much time they spend touching. His eyes widen for a moment, and then he's blushing.]
Normal people can't smell something like that!
[And then another realization:]
Would that tiger be able to smell it? Do tigers have a good sense of smell?
["Normal people" is definitely not who they tend to hang around with - but, as it turns out, Dazai doesn't have to point that out.]
Mhm.
[A simple confirmation, ever so casual. Atsushi absolutely is capable of smelling it, though Dazai highly doubts that Atsushi would actually do so. There's no need to burden Chuuya with that extra information though, is there?
Dazai just hopes he's there to see Chuuya's reaction, whenever Chuuya and Atsushi next run into each other.]
[Clearly the only solution is to immediately murder Atsushi!
Except no. No, he's not going to do that, and not just because Dazai would be pissed at him if he did. He has no reason to kill the tiger, and so he won't - he might be a mass murderer, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own set of morals. Clearly he just needs to avoid that tiger forever.]
So he knows? He's smelled it on you? [Wait--] No, we've never really met, he wouldn't know it's me. [But Chuuya hates the idea of him thinking Dazai smells of anyone else, too.] Do they all know in that agency of yours by now?!
[It's not actually much of a secret anymore, if it ever was. Chuuya is still going to duck his head and hide his face against Dazai's back. Even though he should probably be washing Dazai's back right now. Actually, though, that's a good point.]
[Yeaaaah, a few of people at the Agency probably know, even though Dazai hasn't been actively spreading the news. Ranpo was always going to know. Yosano probably knows just because of who she is as a person (and possibly due to a drinking session or two; just because Dazai doesn't go around telling everyone, that doesn't mean he's going to lie about it, either!). The kids probably don't know, which is just as well.
Kunikida definitely doesn't know, because Kunikida never knows anything when it comes to the finer social sides of life. At some point, Dazai is definitely going to tell him. But he needs to make sure he can catch it on camera properly, first.]
Do you really want to keep it a secret that much? [Are you embarrassed about your hot boyfriend, Chuuya?!? ;^; ] The Armed Detective Agency is not like the mafia, you know.
[Everyone at the Agency could know, and few if any people would care. Even apart from personal feelings, there would be no need to retaliate out of a sense of professional obligation, either: nobody at the Agency needs to pretend not to know. So isn't it fine? They can have one place where they can be open about their relationship! Ish!!]
[This really isn't how Chuuya expected the conversation to go. He wouldn't have expected Dazai to be this relaxed about people knowing about them. But then, he does usually take the opposite stance of Chuuya, just on principle, so maybe it's not surprising. But it's still annoying. Chuuya still hasn't calmed down from his initial surprise at that realization, so Dazai could at least show some reaction!
Chuuya grabs the soap he's chosen for Dazai, squirts some out, and starts washing his back, because Dazai's not escaping him now.]
It's not-- I'm not trying to keep it a secret. [Well, sort of. There are definitely people at the Port Mafia who know, too, though.] But it's never been anyone else's business what we do.
[And the second people know, they make it their business. And no one ever seems to get it.]
And I don't know. You don't talk about them that much, and I've never talked to any of them outside of Port Mafia business. Well, I guess except that kid.
[Somehow he did end up buying food for Kenji that one time. But that doesn't count.]
[Dazai definitely didn't set out to announce to the whole Agency how he's banging a mafia executive, but at the same time, why should he care about people knowing? It's possible that that started out of something less positive, really: if he cared about people knowing, he would have to admit to caring in the first place.
But now, it's just another fact of life. He really doesn't mind anyone knowing. Well... There is one person he minds knowing, but Mori probably knew before the two of them did, so there's no point in worrying about that. And, in that respect, the more people know, the cheaper Mori's knowledge becomes!]
... Would you like an introduction?
[He's mostly not serious, but with how Chuuya is going on about how he doesn't know the Agency people all that well, he feels like a jealous girlfriend who wants to be introduced to the parents already. Well, if Chuuya really does want to meet everyone, that's always possible. It may or may not be wise, but Dazai wouldn't say no offhand.]
They're enemy organizations, but that doesn't mean to the Agency what it does to the organization.
[Chuuya really has no idea what to say to that. He goes still for a moment, hands still resting where he'd been washing Dazai's body, but not moving. That's a bit too much to process all at once when he can't even tell if Dazai's serious or not.]
I already attacked them a few times. They have no reason to believe I won't do that again
[So he doubts it would be as simple as what Dazai's making it out to be. Except that Dazai does know them better than he does, and Dazai's rarely wrong about these things to begin with.
But it's not that easy either way. This definitely isn't something that Chuuya had been hinting at wanting, when he pointed out that he doesn't know them. Or maybe he does want it, but that doesn't mean it's at all possible, because even if the Agency takes these things as lightly as Dazai claims, the Port Mafia still doesn't. And Chuuya has to consider what his actions might look like to them.
That's why he doesn't like the idea of too many people knowing. Because his business is never just his own business. And it's not like he has a right to complain about that, but still, when it comes to this specific thing, there's a part of him that always gets upset at the reminder. Or maybe that's the part of him that gets scared]
Would be funny to see their reactions. Not really worth how complicated things would get, though.
[Chuuya shrugs his shoulders lightly like he's letting the topic go, and resumes his task of getting Dazai clean, hands gliding over his hips, nearly finished.
But Dazai made the offer. It means something that Dazai made the offer. Chuuya has always believed that Dazai has a right to those few things and people he calls his own, those rare times when it happens, and so he's always made sure to give him some space, just in case. And now he desperately wants to ask: Would you really be okay with that]
[There's no point in denying that. No matter what the situation is at the moment, the Agency and the Mafia are inherently enemies, and they will fight again. But does that really mean that Dazai and Chuuya can't do this? Is Dazai the only one inhuman enough to be able to put those differences aside?
Is he just so eager for something more than he is underestimating (though certainly not denying) the risks?]
... You're probably right.
[It would likely get too complicated. That is certainly objectively true.
So why does it feel oddly unsatisfying?
Oh well, perhaps the deep philosophical and existential questions are better saved for another time. He turns to face Chuuya again, his expression carefully neutral.]
[Chuuya has said that before. He still means it. If it comes to it, he'll do his best to find another way, or call Dazai so they can find another option together. He refuses to be Dazai's enemy in any way.
This conversation still somehow went downhill fast. Maybe it was always going to be a difficult topic. But it's Dazai saying that he might be right that makes Chuuya pause, and there's a moment where he's just trying to read his body language. As if he needs to, after that. He's always gonna be worried if Dazai says he's right.]
Yeah. Come here.
[He guides Dazai so his body's under the spray, clearly still thoughtful as he makes sure he's fully rinsed off. There's a lot of things to consider here. It really is too fucking complicated, and it has no right to be.]
[That's the only real "solution", isn't it? But it's not what either of them really want, even if they'd jokingly talked about it before, and it's certainly not what's best for Yokohama. Besides, if they run away, won't they just get bored of their simple life and/or of each other?
... He never meant for this to turn into such a serious topic. He's starting to depress even himself, which is absurd - especially when considering that what they have is fine as it is. Why can't they just be satisfied with that? Why can't he ever be satisfied with anything?]
Well, I suppose we could consider taking a sabbatical.
[He says it a bit overly cheerfully, trying too hard, but he's not not serious. Realistically, it's the one thing they could do without destroying the current power balance.]
[Is that really the only solution? Chuuya isn't sure if he's willing to accept it. A second ago, he was the one holding them back because of those risks, but Dazai's reaction changed his mind completely. Or, more accurately, made him realize what his mind actually was.
They're clean and rinsed off, but instead of getting out of the shower he just steps closer, sliding his arms around Dazai's waist.]
I promised you a sabbatical.
[And he'll keep that promise. It sounds nice, actually. Just the two of them, away from all of this, a vacation where other people's opinions just don't matter.]
But what if I do wanna meet them?
[He's pretty sure it'd just be incredibly awkward, with him feeling out of place the whole time, but still.]
[Well, if they're seriously going to do this sabbatical thing, Dazai is all for it! It will take a little bit of preparation, but it's certainly doable. He's just a little surprised that Chuuya is willing to go along with it... or maybe he's just worried. He'd argue the problem is Mori's whims in getting some kind of revenge - as if Mori can't simply lie to everyone that Chuuya is on a mission - but maybe it's just a little scary to allow himself to try this. Good things never do end well for him, after all.
It's a ridiculous line of thinking, and he knows it. That's why he won't let it stop him. But a little unease before the fact really can't be helped. He's trying not to let it show, though. Apart from anything else, he did come here to take care of Chuuya.]
Then you can? [There's not really a major problem with that, Dazai thinks.] If we're going to disappear for a while, you may as well meet them first.
[Not that most Agency members don't already know Chuuya, or know of him.]
Not everyone's going to be available for social events with the mafia, but I could introduce you to at least a few of them - introduce them outside of work, I mean.
[Not Ranpo, because even if he could be bribed to show up, he would probably piss Chuuya off. Not Fukuzawa, because he has his position to consider. But Atsushi and some of the other kids? Sure! Maybe Kunikida, too. He may or may not hate it, but it would be funny to see his reaction regardless.]
[It's not like Chuuya isn't worried. He's terrified. He knows from experience how bad the consequences can be if your loyalty comes into question, and he's not sure he could handle something like that happening again. He's worked so hard to earn his place in the Port Mafia, and if he lost that now - if he even survived this time - it would only feel like proof that he was never meant to have it.
But he's still sure he's doing this. He made up his mind. He's not willing to give up Dazai, to give up on himself, when by this point he feels like he should have already proved his loyalty several times over anyway. And it's not like he doesn't have anyone in the Port Mafia who believe in him. He has Kouyou, he has - ugh - Verlaine, and he has his subordinates. Not all of them, but to Chuuya what matters is knowing he has any at all, and it would have been just as important if he had just one.]
I won't blame them if they can't get past what I've done.
[Because the part of this that matters isn't actually meeting them, it's the fact that Dazai is offering. The fact that whatever invisible line that Chuuya had imagined, separating himself from other important parts of Dazai's life, at least isn't there now. He's always been so careful not to cross it, even back before Dazai left the Port Mafia. He never actually asked if it was real.]
But if they agree -- I don't really know how we'd do something like this. Do I rent a restaurant?
[Chuuya really isn't used to socializing in this way. His closest frame of reference is business dinners with other criminal groups.]
[Dazai has to laugh a little at that, running his fingers through Chuuya's hair just because he can.]
Providing food would certainly ingratiate you to one or two of them!
[Or three. There sure are a lot of hungry kids in the Agency - but then, crime is the thing that actually pays, isn't it?]
There's really no need. It might be safer to meet out in the open, anyway, just in case something goes wrong.
[The downside is that they will be seen, but everyone has eyes everywhere anyway, so that's not much of a loss. Being outside at least offers more of a chance to see what's coming from where, and frankly might make some people feel less trapped.]
That said, it is getting cold lately... [Not exactly prime being-outside weather.] Maybe some hot chocolate in a park? [OH, WAIT!] I bet the skating rink at the Red Brick Warehouse will be back soon, too!
[Chuuya should probably bristle at that laugh, like he always does. Except that for once it doesn't sound mocking. Dazai is playing with his hair, and instead Chuuya just melts into him, leaning his body fully against Dazai's. He knows his skin will dry out if they stay in the shower too long, but he can't bring himself to care.
And these plans are going from semi-formal awkward meeting to a casual hangout, and Chuuya is definitely more used to something like the former. But Dazai's idea does sound a lot less boring.]
I haven't gone ice skating in years.
[Not since the last time he went with Dazai. They'd usually just end up knocking each other off balance, but they always had a lot of fun as well.]
... But I'm not dressing up in some outfit for you if your coworkers are gonna be there.
[... Well, Dazai wasn't thinking of outfits before, kinky or otherwise, but he certainly is now.]
But how am I supposed to be Santa if you won't be my elf?!
[This is going to be so much more awkward if Dazai dresses up as Santa... but now he may actually do it. The idea lives in his head now. This is all your fault, Chuuya!]
[Chuuya knows this one's on him. He's the one who brought it up. But Dazai might have come up with it on his own anyway, and might have found a way to trick Chuuya into it before he realized. There was really no winning.]
Not the first time I'm meeting them. [wait.] The first time where I'm not attacking them.
[Technically he hadn't attacked them when he picked them up in that helicopter, but it had been official business, and it's not like they'd gotten out unscathed. Dazai's new partner had even jumped out of the helicopter because he thought it was the only way to save the rest of them. Chuuya has no idea if that guy realized that Chuuya is strong enough that he could have fought off the Hunting Dogs, if he had to. He'd been under orders to avoid directly engaging, but he'd also been under orders to bring the ADA to safety.
The point is, he wants to make a better impression this time.]
We can go skating some other time as well and I'll wear one of those ice skating costumes or something.
[You've clearly agreed to it now, Chuuya! Whenever they come back to Yokohama after their sabbatical (or even before!), Chuuya now has to wear an embarrassing costume. It's the law. The law that Chuuya just wrote up, himself.
Ice skating costumes are also nice. But that is a separate topic altogether, obviously! It doesn't negate the obligation for an embarrassing costume at some other point in time.]
Now there's a thought... Chuuya does look good in a skirt.
[Chuuya has to pull back slightly so he can give Dazai a look of horror.]
The skirt was instead of something embarrassing!
[He doubts he's winning that one. But he can't just give in, either. Dazai is going to make him wear something ridiculous, something completely humiliating, and he has no idea how he's going to face any of Dazai's coworkers after that.
Though Dazai did that to him countless times in the Port Mafia, too, and he's still able to look his subordinates there in the eye. But still.]
Now I'm not wearing the skirt or whatever else you came up with.
[No take-backsies! It wasn't even technically Dazai's idea. Chuuya offered all of his own accord!]
Besides, you don't even know what I've come up with yet.
[But for the first proper meeting with some of the Agency? Nah, Dazai isn't going to make it too awkward. ... Well, not with costumes and such. He's definitely going to make it awkward in every other way imaginable, since he be that way.]
[He should have been more careful with how he phrased it, though. He knows that. He knows Dazai won't let it go. So now it's a question of which will turn out worse for him, trying to refuse or giving in right away. Dazai can always make it worse if he refuses.]
Are you gonna tell me what you came up with?
[Because maybe if it's not too bad... He can't believe he's thinking that way. He really is making this all too easy for Dazai. He's doomed.]
[Dazai hasn't actually come up with anything yet - or, to be more precise: he's come up with a few dozen options, and he hasn't narrowed them down yet. That's not something Chuuya needs to concern himself with, though. The only important thing is that an introduction to Dazai's new "family" will happen at some point.
They should probably do something less emotionally loaded anyway, if this is going to be a kink-hungover Chuuya's support session. (And also because it's not like Dazai likes to get too many personal feelings.)]
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Mhm. Maybe tomorrow.
[He doesn't mean that they're bound to have another intense kink session tomorrow, even though that certainly seems to be implied, and he doesn't bother correcting any assumptions in that direction. But it might be fun to play around with a list anyway, even if the actual "playing" may wait a while. (It feels like a new toy! New toys are meant to be played with as soon as possible!!)]
... Are you sure you haven't put enough things in my hair by now? [Not that he's not having a good time, but he can still "complain" if he wants.] The last time I used your products, everyone at work assumed I had nefarious plans to woo at least three women at the same time.
[Okay, that is a mild exaggeration. But really, these high quality products have a scent that actually lingers! It's a bit weird. (Not bad though. Even Dazai has to admit that the scents are really nice.)]
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And maybe he's curious to see what new things Dazai will come up with.]
Yeah. We can both try to find a list.
[And hey, don't complain when he's putting this much effort into making it feel good! Even if Dazai doesn't always like being touched too much! But Chuuya will finish up with the conditioner quickly.]
I thought they were supposed to be detectives? Can't even figure out scent marking.
[Clearly this is all just Chuuya laying claim to what's his!]
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Dazai is also eager to find out where Chuuya will get his kink list from, because that is yet more information he can (ab)use. Not that he may not be stalking Chuuya's computer habits already when the mood strikes, but you know.]
That only works if it's you I'm smelling like, Chuuya! [Or not. But it's the definition that Dazai is choosing to roll with - until it gives him pause.] ... Actually, I probably do that too, don't I?
[Atsushi can definitely smell it, if he attempts to. But thankfully everyone's favorite tiger boy probably has other things on his mind most of the time, and if he were to get bold, he'd likely not practice on Dazai.]
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But he's not worried about that right now. He is worried about his own realization, a few moments after Dazai's, that they do probably smell of each other, considering how much time they spend touching. His eyes widen for a moment, and then he's blushing.]
Normal people can't smell something like that!
[And then another realization:]
Would that tiger be able to smell it? Do tigers have a good sense of smell?
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Mhm.
[A simple confirmation, ever so casual. Atsushi absolutely is capable of smelling it, though Dazai highly doubts that Atsushi would actually do so. There's no need to burden Chuuya with that extra information though, is there?
Dazai just hopes he's there to see Chuuya's reaction, whenever Chuuya and Atsushi next run into each other.]
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Except no. No, he's not going to do that, and not just because Dazai would be pissed at him if he did. He has no reason to kill the tiger, and so he won't - he might be a mass murderer, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own set of morals. Clearly he just needs to avoid that tiger forever.]
So he knows? He's smelled it on you? [Wait--] No, we've never really met, he wouldn't know it's me. [But Chuuya hates the idea of him thinking Dazai smells of anyone else, too.] Do they all know in that agency of yours by now?!
[It's not actually much of a secret anymore, if it ever was. Chuuya is still going to duck his head and hide his face against Dazai's back. Even though he should probably be washing Dazai's back right now. Actually, though, that's a good point.]
I'm gonna scrub you really clean.
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Kunikida definitely doesn't know, because Kunikida never knows anything when it comes to the finer social sides of life. At some point, Dazai is definitely going to tell him. But he needs to make sure he can catch it on camera properly, first.]
Do you really want to keep it a secret that much? [Are you embarrassed about your hot boyfriend, Chuuya?!? ;^; ] The Armed Detective Agency is not like the mafia, you know.
[Everyone at the Agency could know, and few if any people would care. Even apart from personal feelings, there would be no need to retaliate out of a sense of professional obligation, either: nobody at the Agency needs to pretend not to know. So isn't it fine? They can have one place where they can be open about their relationship! Ish!!]
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Chuuya grabs the soap he's chosen for Dazai, squirts some out, and starts washing his back, because Dazai's not escaping him now.]
It's not-- I'm not trying to keep it a secret. [Well, sort of. There are definitely people at the Port Mafia who know, too, though.] But it's never been anyone else's business what we do.
[And the second people know, they make it their business. And no one ever seems to get it.]
And I don't know. You don't talk about them that much, and I've never talked to any of them outside of Port Mafia business. Well, I guess except that kid.
[Somehow he did end up buying food for Kenji that one time. But that doesn't count.]
How's it different?
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But now, it's just another fact of life. He really doesn't mind anyone knowing. Well... There is one person he minds knowing, but Mori probably knew before the two of them did, so there's no point in worrying about that. And, in that respect, the more people know, the cheaper Mori's knowledge becomes!]
... Would you like an introduction?
[He's mostly not serious, but with how Chuuya is going on about how he doesn't know the Agency people all that well, he feels like a jealous girlfriend who wants to be introduced to the parents already. Well, if Chuuya really does want to meet everyone, that's always possible. It may or may not be wise, but Dazai wouldn't say no offhand.]
They're enemy organizations, but that doesn't mean to the Agency what it does to the organization.
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I already attacked them a few times. They have no reason to believe I won't do that again
[So he doubts it would be as simple as what Dazai's making it out to be. Except that Dazai does know them better than he does, and Dazai's rarely wrong about these things to begin with.
But it's not that easy either way. This definitely isn't something that Chuuya had been hinting at wanting, when he pointed out that he doesn't know them. Or maybe he does want it, but that doesn't mean it's at all possible, because even if the Agency takes these things as lightly as Dazai claims, the Port Mafia still doesn't. And Chuuya has to consider what his actions might look like to them.
That's why he doesn't like the idea of too many people knowing. Because his business is never just his own business. And it's not like he has a right to complain about that, but still, when it comes to this specific thing, there's a part of him that always gets upset at the reminder. Or maybe that's the part of him that gets scared]
Would be funny to see their reactions. Not really worth how complicated things would get, though.
[Chuuya shrugs his shoulders lightly like he's letting the topic go, and resumes his task of getting Dazai clean, hands gliding over his hips, nearly finished.
But Dazai made the offer. It means something that Dazai made the offer. Chuuya has always believed that Dazai has a right to those few things and people he calls his own, those rare times when it happens, and so he's always made sure to give him some space, just in case. And now he desperately wants to ask: Would you really be okay with that]
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[There's no point in denying that. No matter what the situation is at the moment, the Agency and the Mafia are inherently enemies, and they will fight again. But does that really mean that Dazai and Chuuya can't do this? Is Dazai the only one inhuman enough to be able to put those differences aside?
Is he just so eager for something more than he is underestimating (though certainly not denying) the risks?]
... You're probably right.
[It would likely get too complicated. That is certainly objectively true.
So why does it feel oddly unsatisfying?
Oh well, perhaps the deep philosophical and existential questions are better saved for another time. He turns to face Chuuya again, his expression carefully neutral.]
Time to rinse off?
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[Chuuya has said that before. He still means it. If it comes to it, he'll do his best to find another way, or call Dazai so they can find another option together. He refuses to be Dazai's enemy in any way.
This conversation still somehow went downhill fast. Maybe it was always going to be a difficult topic. But it's Dazai saying that he might be right that makes Chuuya pause, and there's a moment where he's just trying to read his body language. As if he needs to, after that. He's always gonna be worried if Dazai says he's right.]
Yeah. Come here.
[He guides Dazai so his body's under the spray, clearly still thoughtful as he makes sure he's fully rinsed off. There's a lot of things to consider here. It really is too fucking complicated, and it has no right to be.]
We could find a way to get away with it.
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[That's the only real "solution", isn't it? But it's not what either of them really want, even if they'd jokingly talked about it before, and it's certainly not what's best for Yokohama. Besides, if they run away, won't they just get bored of their simple life and/or of each other?
... He never meant for this to turn into such a serious topic. He's starting to depress even himself, which is absurd - especially when considering that what they have is fine as it is. Why can't they just be satisfied with that? Why can't he ever be satisfied with anything?]
Well, I suppose we could consider taking a sabbatical.
[He says it a bit overly cheerfully, trying too hard, but he's not not serious. Realistically, it's the one thing they could do without destroying the current power balance.]
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They're clean and rinsed off, but instead of getting out of the shower he just steps closer, sliding his arms around Dazai's waist.]
I promised you a sabbatical.
[And he'll keep that promise. It sounds nice, actually. Just the two of them, away from all of this, a vacation where other people's opinions just don't matter.]
But what if I do wanna meet them?
[He's pretty sure it'd just be incredibly awkward, with him feeling out of place the whole time, but still.]
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It's a ridiculous line of thinking, and he knows it. That's why he won't let it stop him. But a little unease before the fact really can't be helped. He's trying not to let it show, though. Apart from anything else, he did come here to take care of Chuuya.]
Then you can? [There's not really a major problem with that, Dazai thinks.] If we're going to disappear for a while, you may as well meet them first.
[Not that most Agency members don't already know Chuuya, or know of him.]
Not everyone's going to be available for social events with the mafia, but I could introduce you to at least a few of them - introduce them outside of work, I mean.
[Not Ranpo, because even if he could be bribed to show up, he would probably piss Chuuya off. Not Fukuzawa, because he has his position to consider. But Atsushi and some of the other kids? Sure! Maybe Kunikida, too. He may or may not hate it, but it would be funny to see his reaction regardless.]
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But he's still sure he's doing this. He made up his mind. He's not willing to give up Dazai, to give up on himself, when by this point he feels like he should have already proved his loyalty several times over anyway. And it's not like he doesn't have anyone in the Port Mafia who believe in him. He has Kouyou, he has - ugh - Verlaine, and he has his subordinates. Not all of them, but to Chuuya what matters is knowing he has any at all, and it would have been just as important if he had just one.]
I won't blame them if they can't get past what I've done.
[Because the part of this that matters isn't actually meeting them, it's the fact that Dazai is offering. The fact that whatever invisible line that Chuuya had imagined, separating himself from other important parts of Dazai's life, at least isn't there now. He's always been so careful not to cross it, even back before Dazai left the Port Mafia. He never actually asked if it was real.]
But if they agree -- I don't really know how we'd do something like this. Do I rent a restaurant?
[Chuuya really isn't used to socializing in this way. His closest frame of reference is business dinners with other criminal groups.]
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Providing food would certainly ingratiate you to one or two of them!
[Or three. There sure are a lot of hungry kids in the Agency - but then, crime is the thing that actually pays, isn't it?]
There's really no need. It might be safer to meet out in the open, anyway, just in case something goes wrong.
[The downside is that they will be seen, but everyone has eyes everywhere anyway, so that's not much of a loss. Being outside at least offers more of a chance to see what's coming from where, and frankly might make some people feel less trapped.]
That said, it is getting cold lately... [Not exactly prime being-outside weather.] Maybe some hot chocolate in a park? [OH, WAIT!] I bet the skating rink at the Red Brick Warehouse will be back soon, too!
[Just a little family outing, no big deal.]
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And these plans are going from semi-formal awkward meeting to a casual hangout, and Chuuya is definitely more used to something like the former. But Dazai's idea does sound a lot less boring.]
I haven't gone ice skating in years.
[Not since the last time he went with Dazai. They'd usually just end up knocking each other off balance, but they always had a lot of fun as well.]
... But I'm not dressing up in some outfit for you if your coworkers are gonna be there.
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But how am I supposed to be Santa if you won't be my elf?!
[This is going to be so much more awkward if Dazai dresses up as Santa... but now he may actually do it. The idea lives in his head now. This is all your fault, Chuuya!]
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[Chuuya knows this one's on him. He's the one who brought it up. But Dazai might have come up with it on his own anyway, and might have found a way to trick Chuuya into it before he realized. There was really no winning.]
Not the first time I'm meeting them. [wait.] The first time where I'm not attacking them.
[Technically he hadn't attacked them when he picked them up in that helicopter, but it had been official business, and it's not like they'd gotten out unscathed. Dazai's new partner had even jumped out of the helicopter because he thought it was the only way to save the rest of them. Chuuya has no idea if that guy realized that Chuuya is strong enough that he could have fought off the Hunting Dogs, if he had to. He'd been under orders to avoid directly engaging, but he'd also been under orders to bring the ADA to safety.
The point is, he wants to make a better impression this time.]
We can go skating some other time as well and I'll wear one of those ice skating costumes or something.
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[You've clearly agreed to it now, Chuuya! Whenever they come back to Yokohama after their sabbatical (or even before!), Chuuya now has to wear an embarrassing costume. It's the law. The law that Chuuya just wrote up, himself.
Ice skating costumes are also nice. But that is a separate topic altogether, obviously! It doesn't negate the obligation for an embarrassing costume at some other point in time.]
Now there's a thought... Chuuya does look good in a skirt.
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The skirt was instead of something embarrassing!
[He doubts he's winning that one. But he can't just give in, either. Dazai is going to make him wear something ridiculous, something completely humiliating, and he has no idea how he's going to face any of Dazai's coworkers after that.
Though Dazai did that to him countless times in the Port Mafia, too, and he's still able to look his subordinates there in the eye. But still.]
Now I'm not wearing the skirt or whatever else you came up with.
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[No take-backsies! It wasn't even technically Dazai's idea. Chuuya offered all of his own accord!]
Besides, you don't even know what I've come up with yet.
[But for the first proper meeting with some of the Agency? Nah, Dazai isn't going to make it too awkward.
... Well, not with costumes and such. He's definitely going to make it awkward in every other way imaginable, since he be that way.]
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[He should have been more careful with how he phrased it, though. He knows that. He knows Dazai won't let it go. So now it's a question of which will turn out worse for him, trying to refuse or giving in right away. Dazai can always make it worse if he refuses.]
Are you gonna tell me what you came up with?
[Because maybe if it's not too bad... He can't believe he's thinking that way. He really is making this all too easy for Dazai. He's doomed.]
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[Dazai hasn't actually come up with anything yet - or, to be more precise: he's come up with a few dozen options, and he hasn't narrowed them down yet. That's not something Chuuya needs to concern himself with, though. The only important thing is that an introduction to Dazai's new "family" will happen at some point.
They should probably do something less emotionally loaded anyway, if this is going to be a kink-hungover Chuuya's support session. (And also because it's not like Dazai likes to get too many personal feelings.)]
Let's dry off?
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