[Is that really the only solution? Chuuya isn't sure if he's willing to accept it. A second ago, he was the one holding them back because of those risks, but Dazai's reaction changed his mind completely. Or, more accurately, made him realize what his mind actually was.
They're clean and rinsed off, but instead of getting out of the shower he just steps closer, sliding his arms around Dazai's waist.]
I promised you a sabbatical.
[And he'll keep that promise. It sounds nice, actually. Just the two of them, away from all of this, a vacation where other people's opinions just don't matter.]
But what if I do wanna meet them?
[He's pretty sure it'd just be incredibly awkward, with him feeling out of place the whole time, but still.]
[Well, if they're seriously going to do this sabbatical thing, Dazai is all for it! It will take a little bit of preparation, but it's certainly doable. He's just a little surprised that Chuuya is willing to go along with it... or maybe he's just worried. He'd argue the problem is Mori's whims in getting some kind of revenge - as if Mori can't simply lie to everyone that Chuuya is on a mission - but maybe it's just a little scary to allow himself to try this. Good things never do end well for him, after all.
It's a ridiculous line of thinking, and he knows it. That's why he won't let it stop him. But a little unease before the fact really can't be helped. He's trying not to let it show, though. Apart from anything else, he did come here to take care of Chuuya.]
Then you can? [There's not really a major problem with that, Dazai thinks.] If we're going to disappear for a while, you may as well meet them first.
[Not that most Agency members don't already know Chuuya, or know of him.]
Not everyone's going to be available for social events with the mafia, but I could introduce you to at least a few of them - introduce them outside of work, I mean.
[Not Ranpo, because even if he could be bribed to show up, he would probably piss Chuuya off. Not Fukuzawa, because he has his position to consider. But Atsushi and some of the other kids? Sure! Maybe Kunikida, too. He may or may not hate it, but it would be funny to see his reaction regardless.]
[It's not like Chuuya isn't worried. He's terrified. He knows from experience how bad the consequences can be if your loyalty comes into question, and he's not sure he could handle something like that happening again. He's worked so hard to earn his place in the Port Mafia, and if he lost that now - if he even survived this time - it would only feel like proof that he was never meant to have it.
But he's still sure he's doing this. He made up his mind. He's not willing to give up Dazai, to give up on himself, when by this point he feels like he should have already proved his loyalty several times over anyway. And it's not like he doesn't have anyone in the Port Mafia who believe in him. He has Kouyou, he has - ugh - Verlaine, and he has his subordinates. Not all of them, but to Chuuya what matters is knowing he has any at all, and it would have been just as important if he had just one.]
I won't blame them if they can't get past what I've done.
[Because the part of this that matters isn't actually meeting them, it's the fact that Dazai is offering. The fact that whatever invisible line that Chuuya had imagined, separating himself from other important parts of Dazai's life, at least isn't there now. He's always been so careful not to cross it, even back before Dazai left the Port Mafia. He never actually asked if it was real.]
But if they agree -- I don't really know how we'd do something like this. Do I rent a restaurant?
[Chuuya really isn't used to socializing in this way. His closest frame of reference is business dinners with other criminal groups.]
[Dazai has to laugh a little at that, running his fingers through Chuuya's hair just because he can.]
Providing food would certainly ingratiate you to one or two of them!
[Or three. There sure are a lot of hungry kids in the Agency - but then, crime is the thing that actually pays, isn't it?]
There's really no need. It might be safer to meet out in the open, anyway, just in case something goes wrong.
[The downside is that they will be seen, but everyone has eyes everywhere anyway, so that's not much of a loss. Being outside at least offers more of a chance to see what's coming from where, and frankly might make some people feel less trapped.]
That said, it is getting cold lately... [Not exactly prime being-outside weather.] Maybe some hot chocolate in a park? [OH, WAIT!] I bet the skating rink at the Red Brick Warehouse will be back soon, too!
[Chuuya should probably bristle at that laugh, like he always does. Except that for once it doesn't sound mocking. Dazai is playing with his hair, and instead Chuuya just melts into him, leaning his body fully against Dazai's. He knows his skin will dry out if they stay in the shower too long, but he can't bring himself to care.
And these plans are going from semi-formal awkward meeting to a casual hangout, and Chuuya is definitely more used to something like the former. But Dazai's idea does sound a lot less boring.]
I haven't gone ice skating in years.
[Not since the last time he went with Dazai. They'd usually just end up knocking each other off balance, but they always had a lot of fun as well.]
... But I'm not dressing up in some outfit for you if your coworkers are gonna be there.
[... Well, Dazai wasn't thinking of outfits before, kinky or otherwise, but he certainly is now.]
But how am I supposed to be Santa if you won't be my elf?!
[This is going to be so much more awkward if Dazai dresses up as Santa... but now he may actually do it. The idea lives in his head now. This is all your fault, Chuuya!]
[Chuuya knows this one's on him. He's the one who brought it up. But Dazai might have come up with it on his own anyway, and might have found a way to trick Chuuya into it before he realized. There was really no winning.]
Not the first time I'm meeting them. [wait.] The first time where I'm not attacking them.
[Technically he hadn't attacked them when he picked them up in that helicopter, but it had been official business, and it's not like they'd gotten out unscathed. Dazai's new partner had even jumped out of the helicopter because he thought it was the only way to save the rest of them. Chuuya has no idea if that guy realized that Chuuya is strong enough that he could have fought off the Hunting Dogs, if he had to. He'd been under orders to avoid directly engaging, but he'd also been under orders to bring the ADA to safety.
The point is, he wants to make a better impression this time.]
We can go skating some other time as well and I'll wear one of those ice skating costumes or something.
[You've clearly agreed to it now, Chuuya! Whenever they come back to Yokohama after their sabbatical (or even before!), Chuuya now has to wear an embarrassing costume. It's the law. The law that Chuuya just wrote up, himself.
Ice skating costumes are also nice. But that is a separate topic altogether, obviously! It doesn't negate the obligation for an embarrassing costume at some other point in time.]
Now there's a thought... Chuuya does look good in a skirt.
[Chuuya has to pull back slightly so he can give Dazai a look of horror.]
The skirt was instead of something embarrassing!
[He doubts he's winning that one. But he can't just give in, either. Dazai is going to make him wear something ridiculous, something completely humiliating, and he has no idea how he's going to face any of Dazai's coworkers after that.
Though Dazai did that to him countless times in the Port Mafia, too, and he's still able to look his subordinates there in the eye. But still.]
Now I'm not wearing the skirt or whatever else you came up with.
[No take-backsies! It wasn't even technically Dazai's idea. Chuuya offered all of his own accord!]
Besides, you don't even know what I've come up with yet.
[But for the first proper meeting with some of the Agency? Nah, Dazai isn't going to make it too awkward. ... Well, not with costumes and such. He's definitely going to make it awkward in every other way imaginable, since he be that way.]
[He should have been more careful with how he phrased it, though. He knows that. He knows Dazai won't let it go. So now it's a question of which will turn out worse for him, trying to refuse or giving in right away. Dazai can always make it worse if he refuses.]
Are you gonna tell me what you came up with?
[Because maybe if it's not too bad... He can't believe he's thinking that way. He really is making this all too easy for Dazai. He's doomed.]
[Dazai hasn't actually come up with anything yet - or, to be more precise: he's come up with a few dozen options, and he hasn't narrowed them down yet. That's not something Chuuya needs to concern himself with, though. The only important thing is that an introduction to Dazai's new "family" will happen at some point.
They should probably do something less emotionally loaded anyway, if this is going to be a kink-hungover Chuuya's support session. (And also because it's not like Dazai likes to get too many personal feelings.)]
[The way Dazai drops the subject means he's already decided he's getting his way, and that there's no real point in Chuuya arguing with him now. He still wants to. He'll definitely argue when Dazai finally shares that plan of his. But he really might be doomed. His stomach twists, a mixture of dread and preemptive humiliation, which always turns into arousal for him.
Maybe it's better not to think about it for now.]
Yeah. Before our skin dries out in here.
[He doesn't really want to move away from Dazai, but he'll reluctantly let go so they can step out of the shower. He grabs a towel for Dazai first, tosses it at him, then grabs one for himself.]
[Dazai turns off the shower and catches the towel, but he steps out of the shower without using it yet.]
You like it.
[Which technically means that Chuuya isn't letting Dazai "get away" with anything, so it technically means that Dazai isn't actually winning these games, but... there's no need to go too deep into things, is there? This is already enough of a confession.
At any rate, he did come here to take care of Chuuya, all evidence to the contrary, so he just stands there, dripping water everywhere, while he starts drying off Chuuya instead of himself.]
[He's interrupted by Dazai's unexpected and determined drying technique. He's been about to dry himself, but now Dazai's long arms are in the way, and he's left standing there, holding a towel uselessly while Dazai does all the work. He looks more confused than anything.]
At least let me get you, too.
[You're dripping, Dazai! Chuuya looks for an opening, and then quickly starts drying Dazai's chest for him.]
[Fine, then - Chuuya can dry him off in return. Dazai lets him do his chest while he's still drying off Chuuya, but once he's made a little progress with that, he ties the towel around Chuuya's hair - yes, in an embarrassingly shell-shaped kind of wrap. Chuu is pretty and he should look pretty!
At least that will free Dazai up a bit for being dried off, too.]
[Chuuya mostly tries not to get in the way of Dazai's attempts at drying him, because if Dazai feels like being nice (?), then he's not exactly going to stop him. Maybe it makes him a little happy. But as soon as his hair is secured in the wrap, he'll go from occasionally dabbing where he can reach to properly trying to get him dry, reaching around to get at his back.
But he can't resist stepping closer to lick some of the water off Dazai's shoulder.]
Put my collar back on for me?
[He doesn't need clothes, but he does need that, and it's only right that Dazai put it on him.]
[Your tongue is not a towel, Chuu?! Also licking up water feels more cat-like than dog-like. But maybe that's just a good excuse for Dazai to allow it.
Dazai really isn't sure he wants to be nice of all things, but he's not currently in the mood to be a dick, and that's probably for the better. He needs to keep Chuuya on his toes, after all - and not just in the literal sense, because Chuuya is short. Wrapping the other towel around his waist (purely to preserve some warmth; modesty obviously has nothing to do with it), Dazai moves away briefly to grab Chuuya's collar.
He proceeds to wrap it around Chuuya's neck slowly, his fingers gliding across skin when there's no real reason to touch at all, and then he gently closes the clasp.]
[Chuuya tilts his head back, but otherwise holds completely still while Dazai takes his time with the collar. He's still warm from the shower, and the steam from the shower has made the bathroom hot as well, but those fingers still raise a few goosebumps along his neck.]
Still can't believe I never noticed your name on it.
[He looked for it after Dazai told him, of course. Maybe it should have pissed him off more, but at this point he definitely belongs to Dazai anyway, so why bother objecting. Dazai could have just bought him a new collar if he hadn't already claimed this one.]
[You never notice anything, Chuuya, gosh!! ... Okay, that's not really fair. But Dazai didn't want his name in there to be easy to spot.
It's really for the best for both of them that his little joke didn't come out until this much later. Chuuya might have been pissed if he'd found it sooner, and Dazai -... Well, having his name in Chuuya's collar definitely means something now, where it was merely petty revenge originally.]
... Feeling better?
[He doesn't love asking the question, because taking responsibility for a mess he created, albeit unknowingly, is something that still rubs him the wrong way. But he does want Chuuya to recover from his kink hangover, so Dazai can at least make something resembling an effort.]
[He knows where Dazai put his name now, of course. He runs his own finger over that spot on the collar for a moment. Of course it means a lot. Dazai has always been possessive of him, has found his own way of binding Chuuya to him. Neither of them would ever be capable of anything resembling a normal relationship, but it's been seven years, and Dazai - who's not supposed to be able to give a shit - still won't let him go.
It's still weird to think about. Maybe he still struggles to believe it at times - like earlier that day, before Dazai returned. But in the moment all of this just feels right.]
Mmm.
[Yes, he feels better. He leans up on tiptoe, and if Dazai leans down to meet him, he'll kiss him softly for a moment as an answer. But he'll settle for pressing a kiss to his jaw if he can't reach.]
I don't wanna say yes. You'll take it as proof that being lazy is better.
[Dazai does lean down, though only just enough that Chuuya can reach him on tiptoe. He does want to spoil Chuuya a bit, more or less, but at the same time, where's the fun in that? At least making Chuuya tiptoe for the duration of the kiss gives the whole thing an entertaining edge, rather than being something corny, boring, and entirely unsuitable for people* (*actual people-hood not guaranteed) like them.
Enjoying the kiss, Dazai puts his hands on Chuuya's hips to steady him - or unbalance him by ability nullification, as the case may technically be. Maybe a little bit of oth.]
You already said yes! [Sulky sulky, no take-backsies.] Besides, being lazy is better.
[Chuuya's sense of balance is good enough that he won't actually struggle balancing on his toes. He knows why Dazai is doing it, though. He's tempted to nip at his lips for it, but resists for now.]
I guess sometimes.
[Because saying thank you would be too awkward and heavy between them, and he knows Dazai wouldn't like hearing that from him. But he does want him to know Chuuya appreciates all of this. Letting Dazai be right, especially about one of their oldest arguments, will definitely get the point across. He finds he doesn't mind for once if Dazai wins.
[Of course hearing that makes Dazai feel very smug, indeed - but then, he probably would have felt smug, even without Chuuya's emphatic admission. He smirks a bit, but, in gratitude for Chuuya's semi-honesty, he doesn't say anything. Not even: "I told you so."]
Then let's go be lazy.
[Not that he has any specific plans. He needs to get fresh bandages on, of course, and they both probably need to wear something, but after that -... Well, maybe they should just hang around on the couch. It's proven to be a pretty nice spot for just chilling. (As long as they don't play video games.)]
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They're clean and rinsed off, but instead of getting out of the shower he just steps closer, sliding his arms around Dazai's waist.]
I promised you a sabbatical.
[And he'll keep that promise. It sounds nice, actually. Just the two of them, away from all of this, a vacation where other people's opinions just don't matter.]
But what if I do wanna meet them?
[He's pretty sure it'd just be incredibly awkward, with him feeling out of place the whole time, but still.]
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It's a ridiculous line of thinking, and he knows it. That's why he won't let it stop him. But a little unease before the fact really can't be helped. He's trying not to let it show, though. Apart from anything else, he did come here to take care of Chuuya.]
Then you can? [There's not really a major problem with that, Dazai thinks.] If we're going to disappear for a while, you may as well meet them first.
[Not that most Agency members don't already know Chuuya, or know of him.]
Not everyone's going to be available for social events with the mafia, but I could introduce you to at least a few of them - introduce them outside of work, I mean.
[Not Ranpo, because even if he could be bribed to show up, he would probably piss Chuuya off. Not Fukuzawa, because he has his position to consider. But Atsushi and some of the other kids? Sure! Maybe Kunikida, too. He may or may not hate it, but it would be funny to see his reaction regardless.]
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But he's still sure he's doing this. He made up his mind. He's not willing to give up Dazai, to give up on himself, when by this point he feels like he should have already proved his loyalty several times over anyway. And it's not like he doesn't have anyone in the Port Mafia who believe in him. He has Kouyou, he has - ugh - Verlaine, and he has his subordinates. Not all of them, but to Chuuya what matters is knowing he has any at all, and it would have been just as important if he had just one.]
I won't blame them if they can't get past what I've done.
[Because the part of this that matters isn't actually meeting them, it's the fact that Dazai is offering. The fact that whatever invisible line that Chuuya had imagined, separating himself from other important parts of Dazai's life, at least isn't there now. He's always been so careful not to cross it, even back before Dazai left the Port Mafia. He never actually asked if it was real.]
But if they agree -- I don't really know how we'd do something like this. Do I rent a restaurant?
[Chuuya really isn't used to socializing in this way. His closest frame of reference is business dinners with other criminal groups.]
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Providing food would certainly ingratiate you to one or two of them!
[Or three. There sure are a lot of hungry kids in the Agency - but then, crime is the thing that actually pays, isn't it?]
There's really no need. It might be safer to meet out in the open, anyway, just in case something goes wrong.
[The downside is that they will be seen, but everyone has eyes everywhere anyway, so that's not much of a loss. Being outside at least offers more of a chance to see what's coming from where, and frankly might make some people feel less trapped.]
That said, it is getting cold lately... [Not exactly prime being-outside weather.] Maybe some hot chocolate in a park? [OH, WAIT!] I bet the skating rink at the Red Brick Warehouse will be back soon, too!
[Just a little family outing, no big deal.]
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And these plans are going from semi-formal awkward meeting to a casual hangout, and Chuuya is definitely more used to something like the former. But Dazai's idea does sound a lot less boring.]
I haven't gone ice skating in years.
[Not since the last time he went with Dazai. They'd usually just end up knocking each other off balance, but they always had a lot of fun as well.]
... But I'm not dressing up in some outfit for you if your coworkers are gonna be there.
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But how am I supposed to be Santa if you won't be my elf?!
[This is going to be so much more awkward if Dazai dresses up as Santa... but now he may actually do it. The idea lives in his head now. This is all your fault, Chuuya!]
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[Chuuya knows this one's on him. He's the one who brought it up. But Dazai might have come up with it on his own anyway, and might have found a way to trick Chuuya into it before he realized. There was really no winning.]
Not the first time I'm meeting them. [wait.] The first time where I'm not attacking them.
[Technically he hadn't attacked them when he picked them up in that helicopter, but it had been official business, and it's not like they'd gotten out unscathed. Dazai's new partner had even jumped out of the helicopter because he thought it was the only way to save the rest of them. Chuuya has no idea if that guy realized that Chuuya is strong enough that he could have fought off the Hunting Dogs, if he had to. He'd been under orders to avoid directly engaging, but he'd also been under orders to bring the ADA to safety.
The point is, he wants to make a better impression this time.]
We can go skating some other time as well and I'll wear one of those ice skating costumes or something.
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[You've clearly agreed to it now, Chuuya! Whenever they come back to Yokohama after their sabbatical (or even before!), Chuuya now has to wear an embarrassing costume. It's the law. The law that Chuuya just wrote up, himself.
Ice skating costumes are also nice. But that is a separate topic altogether, obviously! It doesn't negate the obligation for an embarrassing costume at some other point in time.]
Now there's a thought... Chuuya does look good in a skirt.
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The skirt was instead of something embarrassing!
[He doubts he's winning that one. But he can't just give in, either. Dazai is going to make him wear something ridiculous, something completely humiliating, and he has no idea how he's going to face any of Dazai's coworkers after that.
Though Dazai did that to him countless times in the Port Mafia, too, and he's still able to look his subordinates there in the eye. But still.]
Now I'm not wearing the skirt or whatever else you came up with.
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[No take-backsies! It wasn't even technically Dazai's idea. Chuuya offered all of his own accord!]
Besides, you don't even know what I've come up with yet.
[But for the first proper meeting with some of the Agency? Nah, Dazai isn't going to make it too awkward.
... Well, not with costumes and such. He's definitely going to make it awkward in every other way imaginable, since he be that way.]
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[He should have been more careful with how he phrased it, though. He knows that. He knows Dazai won't let it go. So now it's a question of which will turn out worse for him, trying to refuse or giving in right away. Dazai can always make it worse if he refuses.]
Are you gonna tell me what you came up with?
[Because maybe if it's not too bad... He can't believe he's thinking that way. He really is making this all too easy for Dazai. He's doomed.]
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[Dazai hasn't actually come up with anything yet - or, to be more precise: he's come up with a few dozen options, and he hasn't narrowed them down yet. That's not something Chuuya needs to concern himself with, though. The only important thing is that an introduction to Dazai's new "family" will happen at some point.
They should probably do something less emotionally loaded anyway, if this is going to be a kink-hungover Chuuya's support session. (And also because it's not like Dazai likes to get too many personal feelings.)]
Let's dry off?
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Maybe it's better not to think about it for now.]
Yeah. Before our skin dries out in here.
[He doesn't really want to move away from Dazai, but he'll reluctantly let go so they can step out of the shower. He grabs a towel for Dazai first, tosses it at him, then grabs one for himself.]
I really let you get away with too much.
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You like it.
[Which technically means that Chuuya isn't letting Dazai "get away" with anything, so it technically means that Dazai isn't actually winning these games, but... there's no need to go too deep into things, is there? This is already enough of a confession.
At any rate, he did come here to take care of Chuuya, all evidence to the contrary, so he just stands there, dripping water everywhere, while he starts drying off Chuuya instead of himself.]
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[He's interrupted by Dazai's unexpected and determined drying technique. He's been about to dry himself, but now Dazai's long arms are in the way, and he's left standing there, holding a towel uselessly while Dazai does all the work. He looks more confused than anything.]
At least let me get you, too.
[You're dripping, Dazai! Chuuya looks for an opening, and then quickly starts drying Dazai's chest for him.]
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[Fine, then - Chuuya can dry him off in return. Dazai lets him do his chest while he's still drying off Chuuya, but once he's made a little progress with that, he ties the towel around Chuuya's hair - yes, in an embarrassingly shell-shaped kind of wrap. Chuu is pretty and he should look pretty!
At least that will free Dazai up a bit for being dried off, too.]
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But he can't resist stepping closer to lick some of the water off Dazai's shoulder.]
Put my collar back on for me?
[He doesn't need clothes, but he does need that, and it's only right that Dazai put it on him.]
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Dazai really isn't sure he wants to be nice of all things, but he's not currently in the mood to be a dick, and that's probably for the better. He needs to keep Chuuya on his toes, after all - and not just in the literal sense, because Chuuya is short. Wrapping the other towel around his waist (purely to preserve some warmth; modesty obviously has nothing to do with it), Dazai moves away briefly to grab Chuuya's collar.
He proceeds to wrap it around Chuuya's neck slowly, his fingers gliding across skin when there's no real reason to touch at all, and then he gently closes the clasp.]
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Still can't believe I never noticed your name on it.
[He looked for it after Dazai told him, of course. Maybe it should have pissed him off more, but at this point he definitely belongs to Dazai anyway, so why bother objecting. Dazai could have just bought him a new collar if he hadn't already claimed this one.]
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[You never notice anything, Chuuya, gosh!! ... Okay, that's not really fair. But Dazai didn't want his name in there to be easy to spot.
It's really for the best for both of them that his little joke didn't come out until this much later. Chuuya might have been pissed if he'd found it sooner, and Dazai -... Well, having his name in Chuuya's collar definitely means something now, where it was merely petty revenge originally.]
... Feeling better?
[He doesn't love asking the question, because taking responsibility for a mess he created, albeit unknowingly, is something that still rubs him the wrong way. But he does want Chuuya to recover from his kink hangover, so Dazai can at least make something resembling an effort.]
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It's still weird to think about. Maybe he still struggles to believe it at times - like earlier that day, before Dazai returned. But in the moment all of this just feels right.]
Mmm.
[Yes, he feels better. He leans up on tiptoe, and if Dazai leans down to meet him, he'll kiss him softly for a moment as an answer. But he'll settle for pressing a kiss to his jaw if he can't reach.]
I don't wanna say yes. You'll take it as proof that being lazy is better.
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Enjoying the kiss, Dazai puts his hands on Chuuya's hips to steady him - or unbalance him by ability nullification, as the case may technically be. Maybe a little bit of oth.]
You already said yes! [Sulky sulky, no take-backsies.] Besides, being lazy is better.
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I guess sometimes.
[Because saying thank you would be too awkward and heavy between them, and he knows Dazai wouldn't like hearing that from him. But he does want him to know Chuuya appreciates all of this. Letting Dazai be right, especially about one of their oldest arguments, will definitely get the point across. He finds he doesn't mind for once if Dazai wins.
Even if he ends up being smug.]
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Then let's go be lazy.
[Not that he has any specific plans. He needs to get fresh bandages on, of course, and they both probably need to wear something, but after that -... Well, maybe they should just hang around on the couch. It's proven to be a pretty nice spot for just chilling. (As long as they don't play video games.)]