[That's a bit more than Dazai expected Chuuya to say, or say while meaning it; it's certainly more than Dazai expected Chuuya to believe about himself, and in himself, and... honestly, that makes Dazai a little happy for Chuuya's sake.
Only after it all does Dazai finally react to Chuuya's initial comment, his voice very gentle as he looks right back at Chuuya. He doesn't, for the moment, return Chuuya's smile, but that's only because smiles can be a tool, and Dazai doesn't feel like using those right now. It doesn't mean his sentiment is any less soft.]
... I wasn't going to say that at all, you know.
[Chuuya not keeping his promises? That's absurd! If anything, Chuuya is going to kill himself trying to keep his promises. That he hasn't already - albeit with promises to other people, rather than himself - is nothing short of a miracle.
It's a little scary, feeling even a shred of happiness; it's certainly scary to see Chuuya grow (emotionally!) and be forced to keep up. But it's fine, probably. Stagnation is rather boring, after all.]
Ahhhhh, it can't be helped, then! [Back with the theatrics, because how else is he supposed to deal with this, honestly?] I suppose it's about time for Chuuya to take a sabbatical. That seven-year itch is supposed to be a real pain!
[Dazai isn't the only one who can't deal with this. It got a little too serious, and now he's doubting himself, and the theatrics are a relief.]
You're just jumping on the first excuse to avoid work even longer.
[Obviously. When isn't Dazai finding excuses to avoid work?
Chuuya doesn't think he deserves that much credit for his so called emotional growth, though. But he's known for a while that being with Dazai was going to become a problem, and the only way to avoid it would be to end things. And it wasn't just that Dazai is too important for him to lose again (it's also that Dazai is too important to him), but he hadn't really been able to pinpoint why that bothered him so much. Not for a while, at least.]
You're really not worried about pissing off that agency with any of this, are you?
[With avoiding work. With not-not-dating an enemy.]
[Clearly Dazai is only ever looking to avoid work! That only makes sense!! But also: if that's the excuse that's going to make this a little easier for both of them to consider seriously, then he'll lean into it even more, if he has to. ... Somehow, it's kind of nice that he doesn't think he has to.]
Should I be? [Why should he care about pissing off the ADA? He appreciates them for taking him in when he needed a place to stay, and he likes most of them on a personal level (in so far as he considers himself capable of that), but in the end, he's still his own person before he is a part of any group. Besides, he's frankly not sure how much he's ever counted as a part of anything. He's fundamentally different from others, after all.
The funny thing is, he's arguably even more different from Chuuya, and yet they also fit together the best. Truly, the world is a strange place!]
... But they won't mind. They're good people... I suspect they'll genuinely want me to do what's best for me. If I tell them ahead of time, they'll even throw me a farewell party!
[Yeah, no, he's definitely not telling. Not only are there risks involved, but he doesn't want that party to happen. He'll just write Fukuzawa a letter, and maybe have a gentle chat with Atsushi. That's enough.]
[No excuses needed. At least, not from Dazai, though Chuuya will need some sort of excuse for when the guilt inevitably starts creeping in. There's no other way to see this conversations other than as a betrayal, right?
But for now, the fact that Dazai would even consider something like this with him has him distracted. He's not sure what exactly he's feeling, but he likes it.]
I mean, you chose to join them for a reason, right?
[Even if Dazai doesn't care (and Chuuya knows he does, in his own way), it might get in the way of his plans, whatever those are. Chuuya rarely asks, and Dazai rarely answers if he does, but he knows they're important. And it's a more straightforward train of thought than what Dazai says next.
Chuuya blinks.]
Just like that?
[His first thought is that it sounds lonely. A group proves its connections by the way it protects its members, and someone leaving could be a sign of weakness. Except that Chuuya has seen how the ADA fight for each other, how far they're willing to go, how strong they are. They've more than earned his respect in that regard.]
Genuinely good...? [He says that more to himself than as a question.] Well, if they think fucking a Port Mafia executive is what's best for you, at least that's one less thing to worry about.
I did pick them for a reason. But what I did there, I can do anywhere.
[Honestly, Dazai's options, when he needed to find a new place for himself, were exceedingly limited. When it came to local enterprises in particular, and further refining that with organizations that would allow him some freedom, the Agency had definitely been the only way. That doesn't mean that it was a bad time at all: it was pretty enjoyable, and Dazai is genuinely fond of most of the people there. It's a happy collection of strange individuals!
But Dazai has never been a part of any group other than superficially: he just doesn't have it in him. There was, very briefly, that group of three people where he almost thought otherwise, but clearly that was all in his imagination. And that's fine! You live, you learn. You lose, you live on.
This, though? It's more than funny: it's hilarious. Not that the whole Agency knows about Dazai's sex life (... some members definitely do), but "fucking a Port Mafia executive" honestly sounds like a curse they would stick on Dazai, and he chuckles, just barely, in entertainment.]
It certainly seems like something they'd wish on me!
["Go fuck a Port Mafia executive!" definitely feels on the same level as "go fuck yourself with a rusty fork!"]
[It is a pretty good curse to yell after someone. And Chuuya has always liked being seen as a threat. He turns more towards Dazai, and smiles the way he does at enemies.]
So even those people know what you deserve.
[Even if Chuuya is arguably not making Dazai's life worse, considering how much he's been spoiling him. But thinking about that ruins the joke, even if he's not actually sure the joke is a good one, if they stopped to think about it. But then, they've always agreed that the bad jokes are usually the best ones, so it's not important.
He just has about a million questions now, and he's not sure he should be asking.]
When it comes to what I deserve, I'm sure they have a very different view of how things should go between us.
[He means the majority of the Agency would probably think Dazai deserves to be lightly tortured and/or fucked by the mafia, not the other way around. The only deserving that Dazai does isn't usually good, after all!
Oh well, perhaps he's underestimating them. They are good people, after all.]
That's a really long story... [Which may or may not seem like he intends to brush off the question, but he doesn't. Instead, he continues replying.] I thought I'd try to do some good for a change, but options were understandably limited for someone of my specific background.
[Being a mass murdering criminal will do that to a person. And Dazai is pretty sure he couldn't have survived in a government job, even thought that would have been easy to get. He doesn't want to work hard, and he doesn't want to be a teeny tiny cog in a massive hierarchical institute, either. Besides, it's not like the government does good by definition...]
Thankfully I had the ways and means to get someone to point me in the right direction.
[He says it like they should clearly try it, except they both know Chuuya isn't interested in that role reversal at all. But why would that stop him from running with a joke? He sets his coffee down so he can get up from his chair, leaning one hand on the backrest behind Dazai, towering over him. Or as much as he can with the height that he has, but with Dazai still sitting it works.
The impression might also be ruined somewhat by the fact that Dazai's shirt is still the only thing he's wearing, besides his collar.]
I can think of a few things you deserve.
[Though - do those people care about Dazai or not? Because if they don't, if they really want Dazai tortured, then Chuuya's opinion of them is about to drop down into hell, which never bodes well. Then again, he also wishes horrible pain on Dazai sometimes, it's a natural reaction to being around him. It's just that if anyone actually tried it, Chuuya would crush them.
So maybe he shouldn't judge the ADA yet. He'll keep an eye on them, though, just in case.]
Yeah, being good isn't really in my job description, either.
[Wishing horrible pain on Dazai is definitely a natural reaction to being around him, and even Dazai himself doesn't blame the more mind-malevolent Agency members (much). It is kind of annoying when he actually wants their goodwill and they have none to spare because they're expecting a prank at best, but such is the life of people who cry wolf. Or... cry chibi, as the case may be.
Dazai tilts his head back to look up at Chuuya, because properly towering over him or not... it's a pretty nice view.]
I don't know about that. You're surprisingly friendly when it comes to your own.
[A criminal, sure, but not a stereotypical bad guy. Even within the mafia, not everyone else is as protective as Chuuya is, unless they think it will pay off somewhere down the line.
More importantly: this interesting position of Chuuya's... Dazai leans up a bit as if to kiss him, but stops just short of making contact.]
And what do you think I deserve, Mr. Big Bad Mafia Executive~?
[He's not even using the big as a joke here. Clearly that earns him a bonus reward!]
[Chuuya gives him a bit of a doubtful look at that.]
And being friendly to a few people means anything else I've done no longer counts?
[It's not like Chuuya feels bad about his life of crime, either. But he also knows he's not exactly an expert on morality, considering the people he's learned from, and the fact that he never really had a chance at a different kind of life. He sees it more as another method of controlling people than anything else.
But Dazai is right: There are more important things. Dazai leans in close, and Chuuya can't resist, closing that distance without really thinking about it and kissing him softly. It's really one of his favorite things. But he likes this game, too, so he pulls away again just a little too quickly, leaving the same amount of bare-there space between them as Dazai had.]
You could deserve a lot of things. You just have to figure out how to earn them.
[Which is about as far as Dazai cares to continue on that particular topic. He'll let Chuuya sorta-kinda-almost have that one, but only because discussions on morality are really tiresome - and Dazai isn't an expert here, so whatever. They got bigger fish to fry, or... smaller chibis to fuck, as the case may be.
Well, not necessarily right now. But Dazai is feeling oddly relaxed about the idea, regardless.
And as payback for that, Chuuya breaks the kiss just as Dazai is getting into it, so Dazai ends up moving his lips awkwardly in the air like the mackerel he is. Rude! Dazai rests his arms on the table and flops his chin down on them, sulking a little. Fine, then! No sexy kissing times!! 👿]
Earning something is the opposite of deserving it, though? If I deserve it already, I shouldn't have to earn it.
[Honestly, Dazai's reaction is incredibly satisfying. Dazai really does want to kiss him as much as Chuuya wants to kiss him.
And maybe he feels a little bit bad for teasing. He knows he shouldn't, because Dazai has definitely done worse, and will inevitably do worse again sooner rather than later. But Chuuya is also feeling a little bold. He brushes Dazai's bangs aside, leans down, presses a quick kiss to his temple.
And then drops Dazai's bangs again to make them fall over his eyes, so that Dazai won't see the way Chuuya just made himself turn bright red. He picks up his coffee cup again like a shield.]
The list of what you already deserve is pretty long, though.
[And he does mean the good things Dazai deserves.]
[Oh... Well, dammit, that was a cute kiss. Thanks, Chuu, he hates it. (Not really. He's kind of glad that his eyes are briefly hidden, really.)
Dazai straightens himself in his seat again, because while he was pretty comfortable semi-lying around, sulking overly long feels childish in a way that - somehow, right now - he doesn't like.]
Yes, yes... I'm sure you've still got a list of a few hundred punishments to put me through at some point.
[Listen, Dazai has no illusions: he's a dick, and he knows he's a dick. Whatever he "deserves" - in so far as that is even a thing that exists outside of the deluded minds of morality knights - can't be good.]
[Chuuya finishes off his coffee, but only so he can set his cup down again, pushing it away. And then he slides into Dazai's lap instead, sitting sideways across his legs, one arm around his shoulders. He leans in for another kiss, and this time it's not a tease.]
If you earn them.
[So no, those punishments are not what he thinks Dazai deserves right now. He has no doubt they'll be dicks to each other again soon, but he has a pretty strong feeling Dazai isn't going to cross any lines. Only if it's really necessary for a plan, and if it's necessary for a plan, it doesn't count. Chuuya takes Dazai's wrist and lifts it, guiding his hand to his neck, and to the collar.
He wonders how many times he's told Dazai not to yank on his collar. Not that Dazai has listened, and not that Chuuya has really wanted him to.]
You're the only one I trust with this promise.
[It's pretty embarrassing to admit, actually. He won't take it back, but maybe he can kiss Dazai again before he can respond.]
[There goes the E-word again... Dazai would be vaguely annoyed, except for the fact that Chuuya is in his lap and kissing him. That makes up for a lot - even, perhaps, for the inevitable myriad punishments that he can expect. (Because of course they are punishments... How knew that Chuuya could be secretly kinky the other way around as well?! It's not Dazai's preference, but he supposes he can indulge in an experiment or two, if it comes to that.)
Dazai has only superficial knowledge of what the collar means to Chuuya, but it's enough to feel somewhat honored by that declaration - which might lead to a smug comment or two, except that Chuuya cuts him off with another kiss. It's hard to be mad about that, so Dazai responds in kind while he hooks a finger around Chuuya's collar and strokes underneath it, ever so gently.
There are worse things than owning this, he thinks. Somehow, he doesn't even feel especially inclined to be smug anymore.
... But he may well still be, whenever he can be bothered to again.]
[Chuuya makes a pleased noise at the way Dazai strokes the skin beneath his collar, just to encourage it, just in case there was any doubt left that Chuuya's not going to resist that anymore. Well, maybe he'll resist as part of a game, if they feel like it. But not right now. For now he wants to keep kissing for several long moments.
And if Dazai is smug about the collar, then Chuuya can be smug about successfully shutting him up.]
So what do I deserve?
[Fair's fair, right? Even if Chuuya didn't actually answer when Dazai asked. But he thinks he's being pretty clear about what he's actually giving Dazai, so anything else shouldn't count.]
[Well, Dazai happens to enjoy the kissing as well, so there! They both lose! ... No, they both win, really. It's funny how that suddenly seems not only possible, but perfectly normal; even logical. Nothing has changed, and yet with the slightest shift in their relationship, everything is different.]
Hmm... a bone?
[Since Chuuya is his dog, and all. But also because Dazai is a twelve year old when it comes to the level of his jokes, and he's definitely talking about his dick. (Please get yourself some better taste in men, Chuuya...)
Kissing really was nice, though, and so Dazai decides to continue - but this time he nuzzles Chuuya's neck to mouth at where the collar is. He's taking his time, but he'll work his way up to licking underneath it soon enough.]
[Chuuya lets out a small huff of laughter, because of course Dazai answered like that. But considering how Chuuya answered, it's probably fair, and anyway, showing is much better than telling. And Dazai is very good at showing when he wants to.]
You're always giving me that... Obviously I'm even better than I thought.
[Morality wise, or in bed, or just being good for Dazai, or-- It's not important actually. Because Dazai is also very good at just straight up erasing Chuuya's entire train of thought. His arm tightens around Dazai's neck, and his free hand comes up to grip onto his other shoulder, like he's at risk for falling over otherwise, despite sitting safely in Dazai's lap, despite his perfect sense of balance.
Considering everything they've done, having Dazai mouth at his collar shouldn't feel this intimate. Chuuya tips his head back, closes his eyes.]
[Dazai knew that, could see it coming a mile away, and yet -... Knowing things tends to be little more than normal for him, to the point where it's practically boring, more often than not. But knowing this, and having Chuuya confirm it? Somehow that still tickles him.
He's a little surprised that anything at all manages that anymore these days.]
Are you sure about that~? [He's not really joking or even teasing, but he almost makes it sound that way all the same, just because he can. He sucks lightly at some normally collar-covered skin, licking over it afterwards.] We've already put your body to the test recently, you know.
[Not really, but they've spent a lot of time together, and a fair amount of that intimately. It wouldn't be at all surprising if Chuuya was getting physically uncomfortable with some things. Imagine him going back to work but being unable to sit~
Well, Dazai is mostly teasing, anyway. He's not all that concerned about Chuuya's body - but only because he knows Chuuya can take it.
And maybe he's talking about a little more than sex, too. Maybe they both are. But they're still finding their way across that new territory, so they can probably ignore all those aspects of it and just see where they end up... right?]
[They're definitely talking about more than just sex. But they can save that conversation for another time, another day, when Dazai's mouth isn't already on his skin. He has a strong suspicion that's gonna leave a hickey, and he definitely doesn't mind.]
That was supposed to test me? What an insult.
[Not that he sounds offended at all. But really, Dazai knows how much he can handle, and he has to know that they were nowhere near Chuuya's limit. Not yet. He was getting a bit sore, but he was given a body that heals quickly for a reason, and why shouldn't that reason be getting fucked by his partner however often said partner feels like it. Not to mention whatever else Dazai can come up with for him.
Speaking of:]
Do I have to give you free rein just to prove how much I can take?
[Sort of, at least. Dazai has gotten to do pretty much anything he wants several times over, and yet testing Chuuya's actual, genuine limits has never been his goal. Yes, he enjoys fucking with Chuuya as much as he likes fucking Chuuya, but that doesn't mean he'll ever do more than play hard. Just because a toy is nearly impossible to break, that doesn't mean you should actively try to break it.
Well, Chuuya has become less of a toy and more of a -... whatever-they-are, anyway.]
Breaking you has never been my goal, Chuuya.
[Somehow, it's a weird confession to make, but there ya go. They really are getting mature (or something), aren't they?]
[The question catches him a bit off guard - more of a call out than a question, really - but Chuuya doesn't hesitate for more than a second.]
True.
[What Dazai wants, Dazai can have. The idea of letting him have that power has always been a turn on, but it's become even more appealing now, when they're like this. Especially when Dazai says things like that. He wonders if Dazai knows how much easier that makes it to submit.]
Do you have to break me to test me? [Because no, that's not what Chuuya wants, either.] Or risk breaking me, I guess. There's probably other ways you can challenge me.
[There are a lot of questions here that Dazai doesn't have an answer to, nor does he want to answer them either. Breaking people isn't nearly as hard as one might think. Maybe until recently he wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't end up trying to break Chuuya, just because he could, because he got bored, because he wanted something - anything - new.
Well, that much, at least, he's pretty sure won't happen anymore. It's a pretty strange realization, really. Much better to turn things silly again.]
That's true! [He buries his face in Chuuya's neck, not even trying to be sexy about it. But, even if he's just being silly... it feels kind of nice. His voice becomes muffled as he keeps whining.] Chuuya makes it such hard work...
[Which isn't to say that Dazai is actually going to do it, but still.]
[Not what Dazai's in the mood for, then. Chuuya wraps his arms around Dazai fully, and just drops his own head on top of Dazai's, closing his eyes. Being close like this feels good either way, and it's weird to get to do it as much as they have been, without needing to justify it, or feeling like it's not something he should allow himself to need.]
Not really impressive if it's just what my body can handle anyway.
[It's outside of his control, and not something he ever had to work for. It's easy to boast about, but not what Chuuya is most proud of, and there are other options. And for once maybe he's fine with being lazy, too.]
[What is Dazai in the mood for? Does Dazai even know himself what he's in the mood for at any given time?? He knows what he's not in the mood for quite often, but that really is another matter entirely, and it's not very exclusive.
Oh well, this is pretty nice, regardless. It really does feel good to have Chuuya be all physically clingy like this.
Which doesn't mean that Dazai won't still act childish, just because he can.]
You say that, but really you just want me to ravish you on the hotel bed while we're still here, don't you?
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Only after it all does Dazai finally react to Chuuya's initial comment, his voice very gentle as he looks right back at Chuuya. He doesn't, for the moment, return Chuuya's smile, but that's only because smiles can be a tool, and Dazai doesn't feel like using those right now. It doesn't mean his sentiment is any less soft.]
... I wasn't going to say that at all, you know.
[Chuuya not keeping his promises? That's absurd! If anything, Chuuya is going to kill himself trying to keep his promises. That he hasn't already - albeit with promises to other people, rather than himself - is nothing short of a miracle.
It's a little scary, feeling even a shred of happiness; it's certainly scary to see Chuuya grow (emotionally!) and be forced to keep up. But it's fine, probably. Stagnation is rather boring, after all.]
Ahhhhh, it can't be helped, then! [Back with the theatrics, because how else is he supposed to deal with this, honestly?] I suppose it's about time for Chuuya to take a sabbatical. That seven-year itch is supposed to be a real pain!
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You're just jumping on the first excuse to avoid work even longer.
[Obviously. When isn't Dazai finding excuses to avoid work?
Chuuya doesn't think he deserves that much credit for his so called emotional growth, though. But he's known for a while that being with Dazai was going to become a problem, and the only way to avoid it would be to end things. And it wasn't just that Dazai is too important for him to lose again (it's also that Dazai is too important to him), but he hadn't really been able to pinpoint why that bothered him so much. Not for a while, at least.]
You're really not worried about pissing off that agency with any of this, are you?
[With avoiding work. With not-not-dating an enemy.]
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... Somehow, it's kind of nice that he doesn't think he has to.]
Should I be? [Why should he care about pissing off the ADA? He appreciates them for taking him in when he needed a place to stay, and he likes most of them on a personal level (in so far as he considers himself capable of that), but in the end, he's still his own person before he is a part of any group. Besides, he's frankly not sure how much he's ever counted as a part of anything. He's fundamentally different from others, after all.
The funny thing is, he's arguably even more different from Chuuya, and yet they also fit together the best. Truly, the world is a strange place!]
... But they won't mind. They're good people... I suspect they'll genuinely want me to do what's best for me. If I tell them ahead of time, they'll even throw me a farewell party!
[Yeah, no, he's definitely not telling. Not only are there risks involved, but he doesn't want that party to happen. He'll just write Fukuzawa a letter, and maybe have a gentle chat with Atsushi. That's enough.]
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But for now, the fact that Dazai would even consider something like this with him has him distracted. He's not sure what exactly he's feeling, but he likes it.]
I mean, you chose to join them for a reason, right?
[Even if Dazai doesn't care (and Chuuya knows he does, in his own way), it might get in the way of his plans, whatever those are. Chuuya rarely asks, and Dazai rarely answers if he does, but he knows they're important. And it's a more straightforward train of thought than what Dazai says next.
Chuuya blinks.]
Just like that?
[His first thought is that it sounds lonely. A group proves its connections by the way it protects its members, and someone leaving could be a sign of weakness. Except that Chuuya has seen how the ADA fight for each other, how far they're willing to go, how strong they are. They've more than earned his respect in that regard.]
Genuinely good...? [He says that more to himself than as a question.] Well, if they think fucking a Port Mafia executive is what's best for you, at least that's one less thing to worry about.
[It's a little funny.]
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[Honestly, Dazai's options, when he needed to find a new place for himself, were exceedingly limited. When it came to local enterprises in particular, and further refining that with organizations that would allow him some freedom, the Agency had definitely been the only way. That doesn't mean that it was a bad time at all: it was pretty enjoyable, and Dazai is genuinely fond of most of the people there. It's a happy collection of strange individuals!
But Dazai has never been a part of any group other than superficially: he just doesn't have it in him. There was, very briefly, that group of three people where he almost thought otherwise, but clearly that was all in his imagination. And that's fine! You live, you learn. You lose, you live on.
This, though? It's more than funny: it's hilarious. Not that the whole Agency knows about Dazai's sex life (... some members definitely do), but "fucking a Port Mafia executive" honestly sounds like a curse they would stick on Dazai, and he chuckles, just barely, in entertainment.]
It certainly seems like something they'd wish on me!
["Go fuck a Port Mafia executive!" definitely feels on the same level as "go fuck yourself with a rusty fork!"]
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So even those people know what you deserve.
[Even if Chuuya is arguably not making Dazai's life worse, considering how much he's been spoiling him. But thinking about that ruins the joke, even if he's not actually sure the joke is a good one, if they stopped to think about it. But then, they've always agreed that the bad jokes are usually the best ones, so it's not important.
He just has about a million questions now, and he's not sure he should be asking.]
Why did you pick them?
[He has to ask. He's always wanted to know.]
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[He means the majority of the Agency would probably think Dazai deserves to be lightly tortured and/or fucked by the mafia, not the other way around. The only deserving that Dazai does isn't usually good, after all!
Oh well, perhaps he's underestimating them. They are good people, after all.]
That's a really long story... [Which may or may not seem like he intends to brush off the question, but he doesn't. Instead, he continues replying.] I thought I'd try to do some good for a change, but options were understandably limited for someone of my specific background.
[Being a mass murdering criminal will do that to a person. And Dazai is pretty sure he couldn't have survived in a government job, even thought that would have been easy to get. He doesn't want to work hard, and he doesn't want to be a teeny tiny cog in a massive hierarchical institute, either. Besides, it's not like the government does good by definition...]
Thankfully I had the ways and means to get someone to point me in the right direction.
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[He says it like they should clearly try it, except they both know Chuuya isn't interested in that role reversal at all. But why would that stop him from running with a joke? He sets his coffee down so he can get up from his chair, leaning one hand on the backrest behind Dazai, towering over him. Or as much as he can with the height that he has, but with Dazai still sitting it works.
The impression might also be ruined somewhat by the fact that Dazai's shirt is still the only thing he's wearing, besides his collar.]
I can think of a few things you deserve.
[Though - do those people care about Dazai or not? Because if they don't, if they really want Dazai tortured, then Chuuya's opinion of them is about to drop down into hell, which never bodes well. Then again, he also wishes horrible pain on Dazai sometimes, it's a natural reaction to being around him. It's just that if anyone actually tried it, Chuuya would crush them.
So maybe he shouldn't judge the ADA yet. He'll keep an eye on them, though, just in case.]
Yeah, being good isn't really in my job description, either.
[But being protective definitely is.]
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Dazai tilts his head back to look up at Chuuya, because properly towering over him or not... it's a pretty nice view.]
I don't know about that. You're surprisingly friendly when it comes to your own.
[A criminal, sure, but not a stereotypical bad guy. Even within the mafia, not everyone else is as protective as Chuuya is, unless they think it will pay off somewhere down the line.
More importantly: this interesting position of Chuuya's... Dazai leans up a bit as if to kiss him, but stops just short of making contact.]
And what do you think I deserve, Mr. Big Bad Mafia Executive~?
[He's not even using the big as a joke here. Clearly that earns him a bonus reward!]
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And being friendly to a few people means anything else I've done no longer counts?
[It's not like Chuuya feels bad about his life of crime, either. But he also knows he's not exactly an expert on morality, considering the people he's learned from, and the fact that he never really had a chance at a different kind of life. He sees it more as another method of controlling people than anything else.
But Dazai is right: There are more important things. Dazai leans in close, and Chuuya can't resist, closing that distance without really thinking about it and kissing him softly. It's really one of his favorite things. But he likes this game, too, so he pulls away again just a little too quickly, leaving the same amount of bare-there space between them as Dazai had.]
You could deserve a lot of things. You just have to figure out how to earn them.
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[Which is about as far as Dazai cares to continue on that particular topic. He'll let Chuuya sorta-kinda-almost have that one, but only because discussions on morality are really tiresome - and Dazai isn't an expert here, so whatever. They got bigger fish to fry, or... smaller chibis to fuck, as the case may be.
Well, not necessarily right now. But Dazai is feeling oddly relaxed about the idea, regardless.
And as payback for that, Chuuya breaks the kiss just as Dazai is getting into it, so Dazai ends up moving his lips awkwardly in the air like the mackerel he is. Rude! Dazai rests his arms on the table and flops his chin down on them, sulking a little. Fine, then! No sexy kissing times!! 👿]
Earning something is the opposite of deserving it, though? If I deserve it already, I shouldn't have to earn it.
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And maybe he feels a little bit bad for teasing. He knows he shouldn't, because Dazai has definitely done worse, and will inevitably do worse again sooner rather than later. But Chuuya is also feeling a little bold. He brushes Dazai's bangs aside, leans down, presses a quick kiss to his temple.
And then drops Dazai's bangs again to make them fall over his eyes, so that Dazai won't see the way Chuuya just made himself turn bright red. He picks up his coffee cup again like a shield.]
The list of what you already deserve is pretty long, though.
[And he does mean the good things Dazai deserves.]
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Dazai straightens himself in his seat again, because while he was pretty comfortable semi-lying around, sulking overly long feels childish in a way that - somehow, right now - he doesn't like.]
Yes, yes... I'm sure you've still got a list of a few hundred punishments to put me through at some point.
[Listen, Dazai has no illusions: he's a dick, and he knows he's a dick. Whatever he "deserves" - in so far as that is even a thing that exists outside of the deluded minds of morality knights - can't be good.]
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If you earn them.
[So no, those punishments are not what he thinks Dazai deserves right now. He has no doubt they'll be dicks to each other again soon, but he has a pretty strong feeling Dazai isn't going to cross any lines. Only if it's really necessary for a plan, and if it's necessary for a plan, it doesn't count. Chuuya takes Dazai's wrist and lifts it, guiding his hand to his neck, and to the collar.
He wonders how many times he's told Dazai not to yank on his collar. Not that Dazai has listened, and not that Chuuya has really wanted him to.]
You're the only one I trust with this promise.
[It's pretty embarrassing to admit, actually. He won't take it back, but maybe he can kiss Dazai again before he can respond.]
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Dazai has only superficial knowledge of what the collar means to Chuuya, but it's enough to feel somewhat honored by that declaration - which might lead to a smug comment or two, except that Chuuya cuts him off with another kiss. It's hard to be mad about that, so Dazai responds in kind while he hooks a finger around Chuuya's collar and strokes underneath it, ever so gently.
There are worse things than owning this, he thinks. Somehow, he doesn't even feel especially inclined to be smug anymore.
... But he may well still be, whenever he can be bothered to again.]
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And if Dazai is smug about the collar, then Chuuya can be smug about successfully shutting him up.]
So what do I deserve?
[Fair's fair, right? Even if Chuuya didn't actually answer when Dazai asked. But he thinks he's being pretty clear about what he's actually giving Dazai, so anything else shouldn't count.]
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Hmm... a bone?
[Since Chuuya is his dog, and all. But also because Dazai is a twelve year old when it comes to the level of his jokes, and he's definitely talking about his dick. (Please get yourself some better taste in men, Chuuya...)
Kissing really was nice, though, and so Dazai decides to continue - but this time he nuzzles Chuuya's neck to mouth at where the collar is. He's taking his time, but he'll work his way up to licking underneath it soon enough.]
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You're always giving me that... Obviously I'm even better than I thought.
[Morality wise, or in bed, or just being good for Dazai, or-- It's not important actually. Because Dazai is also very good at just straight up erasing Chuuya's entire train of thought. His arm tightens around Dazai's neck, and his free hand comes up to grip onto his other shoulder, like he's at risk for falling over otherwise, despite sitting safely in Dazai's lap, despite his perfect sense of balance.
Considering everything they've done, having Dazai mouth at his collar shouldn't feel this intimate. Chuuya tips his head back, closes his eyes.]
You- Yeah. You can have it.
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He's a little surprised that anything at all manages that anymore these days.]
Are you sure about that~? [He's not really joking or even teasing, but he almost makes it sound that way all the same, just because he can. He sucks lightly at some normally collar-covered skin, licking over it afterwards.] We've already put your body to the test recently, you know.
[Not really, but they've spent a lot of time together, and a fair amount of that intimately. It wouldn't be at all surprising if Chuuya was getting physically uncomfortable with some things. Imagine him going back to work but being unable to sit~
Well, Dazai is mostly teasing, anyway. He's not all that concerned about Chuuya's body - but only because he knows Chuuya can take it.
And maybe he's talking about a little more than sex, too. Maybe they both are. But they're still finding their way across that new territory, so they can probably ignore all those aspects of it and just see where they end up... right?]
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That was supposed to test me? What an insult.
[Not that he sounds offended at all. But really, Dazai knows how much he can handle, and he has to know that they were nowhere near Chuuya's limit. Not yet. He was getting a bit sore, but he was given a body that heals quickly for a reason, and why shouldn't that reason be getting fucked by his partner however often said partner feels like it. Not to mention whatever else Dazai can come up with for him.
Speaking of:]
Do I have to give you free rein just to prove how much I can take?
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[Sort of, at least. Dazai has gotten to do pretty much anything he wants several times over, and yet testing Chuuya's actual, genuine limits has never been his goal. Yes, he enjoys fucking with Chuuya as much as he likes fucking Chuuya, but that doesn't mean he'll ever do more than play hard. Just because a toy is nearly impossible to break, that doesn't mean you should actively try to break it.
Well, Chuuya has become less of a toy and more of a -... whatever-they-are, anyway.]
Breaking you has never been my goal, Chuuya.
[Somehow, it's a weird confession to make, but there ya go. They really are getting mature (or something), aren't they?]
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True.
[What Dazai wants, Dazai can have. The idea of letting him have that power has always been a turn on, but it's become even more appealing now, when they're like this. Especially when Dazai says things like that. He wonders if Dazai knows how much easier that makes it to submit.]
Do you have to break me to test me? [Because no, that's not what Chuuya wants, either.] Or risk breaking me, I guess. There's probably other ways you can challenge me.
Well, I know I'm not easy to actually challenge.
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Well, that much, at least, he's pretty sure won't happen anymore. It's a pretty strange realization, really. Much better to turn things silly again.]
That's true! [He buries his face in Chuuya's neck, not even trying to be sexy about it. But, even if he's just being silly... it feels kind of nice. His voice becomes muffled as he keeps whining.] Chuuya makes it such hard work...
[Which isn't to say that Dazai is actually going to do it, but still.]
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Not really impressive if it's just what my body can handle anyway.
[It's outside of his control, and not something he ever had to work for. It's easy to boast about, but not what Chuuya is most proud of, and there are other options. And for once maybe he's fine with being lazy, too.]
Maybe I'll make it easy today. Whatever you want.
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Oh well, this is pretty nice, regardless. It really does feel good to have Chuuya be all physically clingy like this.
Which doesn't mean that Dazai won't still act childish, just because he can.]
You say that, but really you just want me to ravish you on the hotel bed while we're still here, don't you?
[It's not a complaint so much as a statement.]
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