[Probably could, if he really tried. But only because Dazai doesn't care enough to stop him.
OK but what if Dazai just sends a package with something really dumb and mundane to get Chuuya wondering what the hell he's up to, while Dazai intercepts the real package and/or makes sure that arrives later?
Just a random package with, like. A single sock. A jar of jam. And one of those things to scrape ice off car windows.]
[Time to think of a nice (or not-so-nice) order for his dog!
Definitely going to distract Chuuya with a fake package now. That way Chuuya will only get to be happy about at least winning that challenge - but Dazai will have written something on the inside of the box or something to prove he did, in fact, get his hands on it first.
[He really should learn not to make these bets with Dazai... On the other hand, that would be the same as admitting he can't win against Dazai, and no way in hell is he ever going to do that. Besides, Chuuya has a ton of resources he can take advantage of... The Port Mafia is a smuggling business, they know a thing or two about intercepting packages.
So he's definitely disappointed when Dazai still somehow managages to trick him.
But. A bet's a bet.
Ugh.]
what the hell, dazai? at least bring some bread when you come over so i can use this jar of jam for something
[A challenge is, indeed, a challenge, and unfortunately Dazai is rather OP when he bothers to put any efforts in. He knows the Port Mafia's smuggling business as well as Chuuya does, after all.]
but what if i want you to spread it all over yourself, instead?
[That is not his order, yet. But if Chuuya wants to think it is, that's fine too!]
[Yeaaaaah it was unlikely. Still, can't succeed without trying!]
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[Dingdong~! And no, that's not Dazai, but he's clearly keeping a close eye on the delivery person somehow. (Well, he arguably had to physically slow them down for this whole game to work, so.)]
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if anything i'm doing you a favor
it's hard for me too you know!
[Ah yes, the hard life of being a dick. Pity him!]
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how strange! it usually seems to work. could it be that chuuya is growing up???
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like being a dick to you
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[Well...
I mean.
If you squint -...
... Let's not squint.]
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[he's squinting]
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only chuuya could believe something like that
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if you want the same thing you're neglecting yourself, too
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neither of us wants you being a dick to me, though
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fine i guess i'll let you come fuck me
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[Wait why is he agreeing!?]
i suppose i can add something to my order, then
[As compensation? For sexytimes? Just to be a dick?? Probably all of the above, but he'll finetune that plan later.]
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what are you buying?
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[Actually he doesn't know yet. But that means that his above statement is absolutely real and genuine!]
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[he knows he can't, and he doesn't even want to really, but still]
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[Probably could, if he really tried. But only because Dazai doesn't care enough to stop him.
OK but what if Dazai just sends a package with something really dumb and mundane to get Chuuya wondering what the hell he's up to, while Dazai intercepts the real package and/or makes sure that arrives later?
Just a random package with, like. A single sock. A jar of jam. And one of those things to scrape ice off car windows.]
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if i get my hands on it first, you have to obey one order from me
[it's his credit card, he should be able to reroute it before dazai can, right? or intercept it somehow?
if dazai manages to distract chuuya with a fake package he's gonna be so mad]
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but the reverse also applies, chuuya
[Time to think of a nice (or not-so-nice) order for his dog!
Definitely going to distract Chuuya with a fake package now. That way Chuuya will only get to be happy about at least winning that challenge - but Dazai will have written something on the inside of the box or something to prove he did, in fact, get his hands on it first.
Just another day in the life.]
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So he's definitely disappointed when Dazai still somehow managages to trick him.
But. A bet's a bet.
Ugh.]
what the hell, dazai?
at least bring some bread when you come over so i can use this jar of jam for something
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but what if i want you to spread it all over yourself, instead?
[That is not his order, yet. But if Chuuya wants to think it is, that's fine too!]
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too damn sticky
this definitely isn't actually what you ordered, where's the other package?
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five
four
three
two -
[Dingdong~! And no, that's not Dazai, but he's clearly keeping a close eye on the delivery person somehow. (Well, he arguably had to physically slow them down for this whole game to work, so.)]
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