[This secret has always been different from the many others they both keep. If Chuuya refuses to share some detail about himself, it's because it's personal, it's his, and it's definitely no one else's business. But if he shares, it's always felt like he's giving up control of that part of himself, somehow. Maybe it will change how they see him, even though it has nothing to do with anything. Or maybe they'll try to tell him how he should feel about it, which is bullshit, and just pisses him off, even if they mean well. Or maybe they'll find a way to use it, as though they have any right to it at all.
But this is different. Sure, at first he wanted to keep it secret for those exact same reasons -- except he'd been lying to himself. Because the truth is, other people can use it because they kept it secret. And this isn't some fact about himself that he wants to leave in the past, either. It's not something he's ever letting go of.
And keeping it a secret was starting to feel the same as saying he's not supposed to have something this good in his life. So no, it doesn't feel right to keep hiding it, and they can talk about it, and the fact that Dazai wants to talk about it makes him happy. Which is exactly why it gets him so flustered and why he never knows how to react.]
Maybe leave out the bloodier parts -- [Well, at least he knows how to react to that.] And if you do that, you'll be covered in blood right in front of them.
[And to make his point, he'll pinch Dazai's side as he says it. He could do more - Dazai will probably barely feel it through his clothes - but he likes walking this close. But what he will do, is suddenly change direction at the next corner, pulling Dazai along with no real explanation.]
[Yet more reasons to wear bandages: they're fairly good at protecting against pinching, making it harder to get a grip. Not that Dazai expects that to stop Chuuya, of course - which is why he'll graciously offer a little 'ouch!' that is entirely insincere, intended to put an end to a potential pinching battle even before it begins. His insincerity is probably a bit too obvious from the way he doesn't flinch or move away at all, but look, you can only expect him to put in so much effort! And also: he doesn't want to move away from Chuuya. So there!
Being yoinked around a corner is more unexpected that Dazai cares to give Chuuya credit for, but he'll still use the motion to steal back his phone from Chuuya's pocket, just in case. An opportunity is an opportunity.]
And what is this way?
[He knows the answer to that, topographically. But Chuuya's intentions? Not so much.]
[Of course Dazai knows the area - he knows the entire city, more or less, and this is still close to the ADA. But there's more than one thing in this direction, and Chuuya will enjoy leaving Dazai in the dark for as long as he possibly can.
There's no more attempts at pinching, though. Sure, Dazai's ouch wasn't believable at all, but neither was the pinch itself, really, so it all balances out. Either way Chuuya doesn't want to ruin the comfortable moment.]
You'll see.
[Yep, that's all Dazai's getting. Though it becomes obvious pretty quickly when Chuuya guides them in the direction of a nearby park. He's still not gonna say what exactly he's planning, though, but he is going to look around for some teenage girls, or anyone else who looks like they can hold a camera and figure out a decent angle for a picture, without getting it all blurry.
And then he'll give them Dazai's pho-- No, the bastard stole it back. Fine, he'll give them his own phone as he asks them to take a picture of the two of them.]
[Dazai gives a long-suffering sigh at that non-response - which is entirely undeserved, but it's the principle of the thing. Being surprised by Chuuya sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, but Dazai doesn't ask for an explanation again, nor does he try to derail Chuuya and take him in some other direction.
So maybe he's actually a little curious what Chuuya has in mind. Don't expect him to admit that!
... It's just a picture or two that Chuuya has in mind? Well... Come to think of it, Dazai supposes that, for all the images he has of Chuuya, there aren't as many of the two of them together - and definitely not the average chill-date-in-a-park photos. Dazai doesn't mind fixing that, actually.
The teenage girls are a bit confused at first, but obediently helpful. Then Dazai decides to make a nice little show of it, fixing his arm around Chuuya from extremely up close. It's at that point that the girls start wondering at what, exactly, they are witnessing, and oh boy will they be excited to see a little bit of that legendary boys' love come to life before their eyes, if it comes to that. Dazai, for one, is more than happy to deliver, starting ever so innocently, but ending with a kiss (an innocent one! on top of Chuuya's head!) if he can get away with it. (Alright, so removing the hat is a welcome side-effect of that. Come on, Chuuya - you can lose the hat for some cute relationshippy pics!)]
[Chuuya isn't sure if he regrets this or not. This is definitely more attention than he wanted, and he'd really wish the girls would just take the pictures without all this excited commentary between them. On the other hand, he decided to do this for Dazai for a reason. And maybe it will be nice for him, too, to have a picture of the two of them. Because Dazai has a million of him, but he doesn't have that many of Dazai.
But he's definitely fighting a losing battle against some very red cheeks.
He doesn't step on Dazai's foot at the stolen hat or the kiss. He doesn't pull away. He doesn't even hide his face, though he wants to. The girls get a few pictures they're happy with (after giving them a few instructions on where and how to pose to get them both in the light - and that's why Chuuya chose teenage girls for this), and Chuuya thanks them, takes his phone back, and tries to steal his hat back.]
I'm not sending you those pictures.
[He will. He just... he needs to be difficult about something until he stops feeling like he wants to hide. But see, Dazai? See what happens when you let Chuuya surprise you? And you expected disaster!]
[It's probably a case of the pot calling the kettle black, or something similar. But Dazai supposes it won't kill him to let Chuuya surprise him more often. ... Maybe. Let him think on that for a bit!
Dazai may not be blushing as adorably as Chuuya is, but he's still very pleased - enough so that he doesn't try to resist when Chuuya steals his hat back. Dazai got what he wanted; it's fine.]
Are you really going to make me steal them? [Dazai is definitely not letting Chuuya keep those pictures to himself.] After going through all this trouble to take them...
[... That is definitely not a logical line of reasoning, but who cares? Dazai is as Dazai does.]
Maybe. [Not even going to pretend that Dazai won't be able to steal them.] You have your pictures, I have mine.
[But he is in a pretty good mood as well, even if he's pretending to be difficult about the pictures. And since Dazai just gives him the hat back without a fight, he'll even opt to carry it in his hand instead of putting it back on, to make the inevitable draping easier for Dazai. But he also deserves extra for that, so:]
[Well, if Chuuya puts it that way... Dazai supposes it's true that he has his own pics. He does still want the Boyfriend Pics™, but he's not in any rush to steal them. Maybe he'll even find ways to make Chuuya want to share them!
But until then, it's kind of nice to know that the pics exist, somewhere in this weird, weird world. Maybe that's even enough.]
I owe you? You're the one who dragged me here, though.
[That's still not a no; it's just that Dazai has his own ways of being difficult. (Many of them, in fact!) Ice cream does sound good, so he'll walk Chuuya to a nearby stand, regardless of any quasi-moral objections he may have to treating him.]
[He can use Dazai's lack-of-logic against him if he wants. He's known you for over seven years, Dazai, he knows your ways by now. Not that it really matters who pays, or if Dazai steals Chuuya's wallet to do it, as long as there's ice cream in the end. And it seems like Dazai is actually going along with it. Chuuya might be looking a little happy at that.]
Neither do you. [His kinks are your kinks, Dazai.] Get me a chocolate and burnt sugar swirl.
[Excuse you, there is no lack whatsoever in that particular logic! And Dazai actually appreciates Chuuya using his own tactics (such as they are) against him. It's kind of strange, really. Sometimes he still feels he should be more difficult, just on principle, but the effort often isn't worth it - and, even more strangely, he often enjoys just going along with things.
Imagine not feeling the urge to constantly make life even more annoying than it is. Absurd, surely?!
Dazai orders for Chuuya, then gets something unreasonably boring like strawberry for himself, proving that you are, in fact, not what you eat. (Or proving that he has a certain dumb song stuck in his head. Either one.)]
Let's sit?
[There's a bench around somewhere, he's sure, and it'll be nice to eat their ice cream in peace.
Also: Chuuya sitting down may distract him enough that Dazai can get a quick taste of Chuuya's ice cream before starting his own. Chuuya's kink is, indeed, Dazai's kink, and their kink is okay.]
[Chuuya shouldn't enjoy being spoiled as much as he is. He doesn't need anything like that. Especially when it barely even counts, since it's a single ice cream cone and Chuuya is more than rich enough to buy the entire ice cream stand if he wants. But then, maybe it's not about the money. Maybe the money is never what mattered at all. He takes his ice cream cone, smiling, his entire chest feeling warm.]
Thanks.
[There's a bench not far away. Chuuya spots it and leads them in that direction, walking close enough to Dazai that they bump into each other with each step. With his ice cream in one hand and his hat in the other, he can't hold onto him right now, but as soon as they sit down they can lean comfortably against each other.]
Hey--! You chose your own ice cream!
[He should have seen that theft coming. He did, really, but somehow forgot to defend himself from it. But that's fine, because now it's fair game for him to lean over and try to steal some of Dazai's ice cream as well.]
[Wasn't that obvious?! Why do you even have to take your rightful revenge, Chuuya, gosh!]
Wait -
[Dazai pretends to make an effort to safeguard his ice cream for a split second... and then he pushes it at Chuuya's face instead. Chuuya has good reflexes, so Dazai has no doubt he'll avoid the worst of it. But Dazai's kind of hoping that he'll get some ice cream on Chuuya's nose, anyway. And if he succeeds, he'll give an angelic smile, because that is a good look.
It's fiiine, he'll just lick the ice cream off before Chuuya can get too mad. (Even though Dazai should probably have added that image to the boyfriend photo collection, first. Oh well, can't risk Chuuya getting too angry.)]
[There's always something satisfying about successfully taking revenge on Dazai, making the strawberry taste even better, and --
Shit. Chuuya jerks backwards, screwing up his face as the cold ice cream gets pushed against his nose. He dodges the worst of it, but not all of it, and not Dazai's tongue immediately after, cleaning it off again and making Chuuya turn bright red with embarrassment.]
Dazai! Bastard!
[His nose still feels a bit sticky, so he wipes that quickly with the napkin that thankfully came with his ice cream.]
I had every right to steal from you!
[Is anyone watching -- Yeah, a few people did glance their way, probably at Chuuya's exclamation. Hopefully they'll lose interest soon.]
[Ahhh, this is truly happiness~! His evil deeds done, Dazai leans back against the bench, finally having a taste of his own ice cream. Sure, the flavor may be boring - but the memories are forever!]
A right to steal something? I'm fairly sure that's a contradiction in terms, Chuuya.
[Just saying. Anyway, you're clearly even now? So you can't complain??]
You could have just asked for a taste, you know.
[Says the guy who definitely started the stealing, but...]
[It's definitely a contradiction, and he can't really argue with it, but he doesn't care. Logic isn't actually what's important here.]
And give you the satisfaction of having me ask?
[That probably makes even less sense. Dazai will know what he means, though. But since the thievery is over and done with, he'll try some of his own ice cream, too - delicious - leaning back on the bench to relax. And slowly shifting his weight until he's almost sort of leaning into Dazai as well.
He's a little bit tempted to steal another taste by kissing Dazai. There's too many people, though.]
[Dazai definitely would have said no if Chuuya had asked for a taste of his ice cream, anyway. For that matter, he's not entirely sure that Chuuya asking would have been as satisfying as Chuuya seems to think - at least, not in his current mood - but that is an illusion that Dazai will gladly allow to continue existing. You never know when it may come in handy!
And speaking of coming...]
Maybe I'll even let you have one.
[A taste, that is. Not of the ice cream, of course - that will be eatenn and/or have melted long before - but neither of them are talking about that anymore.]
You taste pretty nice, yourself. Ah - the ice cream.
[Definitely not the ice cream. He's just talking about all this with a sudden and deliberate casualness to embarrass Chuuya a bit. Or maybe he's gently mocking the general public a bit, instead... Who really knows?]
[Dazai's intentions don't really matter - of course it's embarrassing to talk about this in public. At least no one is close enough to actually hear what they're saying, as far as he can tell. And the compliment makes him happy. He knows Dazai can read that on his face.]
Just maybe?
[Dazai better not be thinking of denying him. Not that there's anything he can do about it if he does.]
What if I let you decide what we have for dinner?
[He's definitely not talking about dinner. And Dazai always gets to decide how and when they fuck, so it's not actually that much of an offer.]
[Nope, definitely not talking about dinner. After deliberately avoiding eye contact to make the conversation ever-so-casual, Dazai glances over at Chuuya.]
Then again, that's a pretty big blanket...
[Oh look, Chuuya, he called you big for once! ... Sorta kinda. Don't think about the details too much. (At least by that same reasoning he called himself a pig?)]
[Of course Dazai has to ruin it. If he wasn't so busy enjoying his ice cream, Chuuya would have to step on his foot, or maybe pinch him again. But he's really too happy to bother.]
We need a big blanket. You're the one who always likes things messy.
[Two can play at this game!! At least for a little bit, until Dazai makes things too embarrassing.]
But other than that, you do have pretty good taste. Sure, we can go for that.
[Messy does have a certain charm! But now Dazai is mostly thinking about how he could turn himself into a blanket burrito and just roll back and forth the rest of the night.
After sex, of course. He does have some sense of priorities!
Dazai chuckles a bit - Chuuya is the only one who'd ever say he has good taste, (semi-)jokingly or not - but decides to (mostly) drop the topic. Neither of them cares about what they'll eat at some point, and for now, he's honestly enjoying his ice cream too much, even though that has approximately nothing to do with the actual ice cream.]
I'll be sure to add mustard.
[... Okay, maybe he still had to get that one bad joke in.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But this is different. Sure, at first he wanted to keep it secret for those exact same reasons -- except he'd been lying to himself. Because the truth is, other people can use it because they kept it secret. And this isn't some fact about himself that he wants to leave in the past, either. It's not something he's ever letting go of.
And keeping it a secret was starting to feel the same as saying he's not supposed to have something this good in his life. So no, it doesn't feel right to keep hiding it, and they can talk about it, and the fact that Dazai wants to talk about it makes him happy. Which is exactly why it gets him so flustered and why he never knows how to react.]
Maybe leave out the bloodier parts -- [Well, at least he knows how to react to that.] And if you do that, you'll be covered in blood right in front of them.
[And to make his point, he'll pinch Dazai's side as he says it. He could do more - Dazai will probably barely feel it through his clothes - but he likes walking this close. But what he will do, is suddenly change direction at the next corner, pulling Dazai along with no real explanation.]
Come on, we're going this way.
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Being yoinked around a corner is more unexpected that Dazai cares to give Chuuya credit for, but he'll still use the motion to steal back his phone from Chuuya's pocket, just in case. An opportunity is an opportunity.]
And what is this way?
[He knows the answer to that, topographically. But Chuuya's intentions? Not so much.]
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There's no more attempts at pinching, though. Sure, Dazai's ouch wasn't believable at all, but neither was the pinch itself, really, so it all balances out. Either way Chuuya doesn't want to ruin the comfortable moment.]
You'll see.
[Yep, that's all Dazai's getting. Though it becomes obvious pretty quickly when Chuuya guides them in the direction of a nearby park. He's still not gonna say what exactly he's planning, though, but he is going to look around for some teenage girls, or anyone else who looks like they can hold a camera and figure out a decent angle for a picture, without getting it all blurry.
And then he'll give them Dazai's pho-- No, the bastard stole it back. Fine, he'll give them his own phone as he asks them to take a picture of the two of them.]
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So maybe he's actually a little curious what Chuuya has in mind. Don't expect him to admit that!
... It's just a picture or two that Chuuya has in mind? Well... Come to think of it, Dazai supposes that, for all the images he has of Chuuya, there aren't as many of the two of them together - and definitely not the average chill-date-in-a-park photos. Dazai doesn't mind fixing that, actually.
The teenage girls are a bit confused at first, but obediently helpful. Then Dazai decides to make a nice little show of it, fixing his arm around Chuuya from extremely up close. It's at that point that the girls start wondering at what, exactly, they are witnessing, and oh boy will they be excited to see a little bit of that legendary boys' love come to life before their eyes, if it comes to that. Dazai, for one, is more than happy to deliver, starting ever so innocently, but ending with a kiss (an innocent one! on top of Chuuya's head!) if he can get away with it. (Alright, so removing the hat is a welcome side-effect of that. Come on, Chuuya - you can lose the hat for some cute relationshippy pics!)]
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But he's definitely fighting a losing battle against some very red cheeks.
He doesn't step on Dazai's foot at the stolen hat or the kiss. He doesn't pull away. He doesn't even hide his face, though he wants to. The girls get a few pictures they're happy with (after giving them a few instructions on where and how to pose to get them both in the light - and that's why Chuuya chose teenage girls for this), and Chuuya thanks them, takes his phone back, and tries to steal his hat back.]
I'm not sending you those pictures.
[He will. He just... he needs to be difficult about something until he stops feeling like he wants to hide. But see, Dazai? See what happens when you let Chuuya surprise you? And you expected disaster!]
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... Maybe. Let him think on that for a bit!
Dazai may not be blushing as adorably as Chuuya is, but he's still very pleased - enough so that he doesn't try to resist when Chuuya steals his hat back. Dazai got what he wanted; it's fine.]
Are you really going to make me steal them? [Dazai is definitely not letting Chuuya keep those pictures to himself.] After going through all this trouble to take them...
[... That is definitely not a logical line of reasoning, but who cares? Dazai is as Dazai does.]
no subject
[But he is in a pretty good mood as well, even if he's pretending to be difficult about the pictures. And since Dazai just gives him the hat back without a fight, he'll even opt to carry it in his hand instead of putting it back on, to make the inevitable draping easier for Dazai. But he also deserves extra for that, so:]
You owe me ice cream. Let's go get some.
no subject
But until then, it's kind of nice to know that the pics exist, somewhere in this weird, weird world. Maybe that's even enough.]
I owe you? You're the one who dragged me here, though.
[That's still not a no; it's just that Dazai has his own ways of being difficult. (Many of them, in fact!) Ice cream does sound good, so he'll walk Chuuya to a nearby stand, regardless of any quasi-moral objections he may have to treating him.]
Which flavor? I know you don't want vanilla...
[ L O L ]
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[He can use Dazai's lack-of-logic against him if he wants. He's known you for over seven years, Dazai, he knows your ways by now. Not that it really matters who pays, or if Dazai steals Chuuya's wallet to do it, as long as there's ice cream in the end. And it seems like Dazai is actually going along with it. Chuuya might be looking a little happy at that.]
Neither do you. [His kinks are your kinks, Dazai.] Get me a chocolate and burnt sugar swirl.
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Imagine not feeling the urge to constantly make life even more annoying than it is. Absurd, surely?!
Dazai orders for Chuuya, then gets something unreasonably boring like strawberry for himself, proving that you are, in fact, not what you eat. (Or proving that he has a certain dumb song stuck in his head. Either one.)]
Let's sit?
[There's a bench around somewhere, he's sure, and it'll be nice to eat their ice cream in peace.
Also: Chuuya sitting down may distract him enough that Dazai can get a quick taste of Chuuya's ice cream before starting his own. Chuuya's kink is, indeed, Dazai's kink, and their kink is okay.]
no subject
Thanks.
[There's a bench not far away. Chuuya spots it and leads them in that direction, walking close enough to Dazai that they bump into each other with each step. With his ice cream in one hand and his hat in the other, he can't hold onto him right now, but as soon as they sit down they can lean comfortably against each other.]
Hey--! You chose your own ice cream!
[He should have seen that theft coming. He did, really, but somehow forgot to defend himself from it. But that's fine, because now it's fair game for him to lean over and try to steal some of Dazai's ice cream as well.]
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[Wasn't that obvious?! Why do you even have to take your rightful revenge, Chuuya, gosh!]
Wait -
[Dazai pretends to make an effort to safeguard his ice cream for a split second... and then he pushes it at Chuuya's face instead. Chuuya has good reflexes, so Dazai has no doubt he'll avoid the worst of it. But Dazai's kind of hoping that he'll get some ice cream on Chuuya's nose, anyway. And if he succeeds, he'll give an angelic smile, because that is a good look.
It's fiiine, he'll just lick the ice cream off before Chuuya can get too mad. (Even though Dazai should probably have added that image to the boyfriend photo collection, first. Oh well, can't risk Chuuya getting too angry.)]
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Shit. Chuuya jerks backwards, screwing up his face as the cold ice cream gets pushed against his nose. He dodges the worst of it, but not all of it, and not Dazai's tongue immediately after, cleaning it off again and making Chuuya turn bright red with embarrassment.]
Dazai! Bastard!
[His nose still feels a bit sticky, so he wipes that quickly with the napkin that thankfully came with his ice cream.]
I had every right to steal from you!
[Is anyone watching -- Yeah, a few people did glance their way, probably at Chuuya's exclamation. Hopefully they'll lose interest soon.]
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A right to steal something? I'm fairly sure that's a contradiction in terms, Chuuya.
[Just saying. Anyway, you're clearly even now? So you can't complain??]
You could have just asked for a taste, you know.
[Says the guy who definitely started the stealing, but...]
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And give you the satisfaction of having me ask?
[That probably makes even less sense. Dazai will know what he means, though. But since the thievery is over and done with, he'll try some of his own ice cream, too - delicious - leaning back on the bench to relax. And slowly shifting his weight until he's almost sort of leaning into Dazai as well.
He's a little bit tempted to steal another taste by kissing Dazai. There's too many people, though.]
But maybe I'll ask you for a taste later tonight.
no subject
And speaking of coming...]
Maybe I'll even let you have one.
[A taste, that is. Not of the ice cream, of course - that will be eatenn and/or have melted long before - but neither of them are talking about that anymore.]
You taste pretty nice, yourself. Ah - the ice cream.
[Definitely not the ice cream. He's just talking about all this with a sudden and deliberate casualness to embarrass Chuuya a bit. Or maybe he's gently mocking the general public a bit, instead... Who really knows?]
no subject
Just maybe?
[Dazai better not be thinking of denying him. Not that there's anything he can do about it if he does.]
What if I let you decide what we have for dinner?
[He's definitely not talking about dinner. And Dazai always gets to decide how and when they fuck, so it's not actually that much of an offer.]
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[Nope, definitely not talking about dinner. After deliberately avoiding eye contact to make the conversation ever-so-casual, Dazai glances over at Chuuya.]
Then again, that's a pretty big blanket...
[Oh look, Chuuya, he called you big for once! ... Sorta kinda. Don't think about the details too much. (At least by that same reasoning he called himself a pig?)]
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We need a big blanket. You're the one who always likes things messy.
[Two can play at this game!! At least for a little bit, until Dazai makes things too embarrassing.]
But other than that, you do have pretty good taste. Sure, we can go for that.
no subject
After sex, of course. He does have some sense of priorities!
Dazai chuckles a bit - Chuuya is the only one who'd ever say he has good taste, (semi-)jokingly or not - but decides to (mostly) drop the topic. Neither of them cares about what they'll eat at some point, and for now, he's honestly enjoying his ice cream too much, even though that has approximately nothing to do with the actual ice cream.]
I'll be sure to add mustard.
[... Okay, maybe he still had to get that one bad joke in.]