[Dazai's expression is a little bit funny. Chuuya resists pointing that out, though, because he doesn't want to push it too much. He's not sure what he did to earn all this from Dazai, he thinks, closing his eyes and letting Dazai guide his head back under the spray.]
Trying to earn enough points so I'll agree to your kinks without you having to trick me?
[If so, it's working. Partially because they're Chuuya's kinks, too. Mostly because that's not what Dazai is doing, and Chuuya can tell. Sure, he might have considered it as a bonus - Dazai usually has more than one reason for anything he does - but if that was his real reason, if he thought he had to do this just to get some dog ears on Chuuya, he would have decided it was too much effort.
Especially since they both know he doesn't have to go to the trouble at all.]
[... Well, sometimes yes, actually. But that's more to get things started, since Chuuya is clearly into any kink Dazai has ever tried to throw at him so far, and therefore it clearly doesn't count as tricking Chuuya at all.
Not that Dazai would have any hesitation whatsoever if I did have to trick Chuuya. But it's nice that he doesn't have to. (It's definitely less work!)]
Hmm... Actually, is there anything at all you wouldn't do?
[Maybe he's messing with Chuuya a bit, but it's mostly a serious question, no matter how well hidden his sincerity. (Not that he's really trying to hide it, but he's not trying to emphasize his sincerity either, and, Dazai being the kind of person he is, that's enough reason for most people to be thrown off.) Because clearly this is the perfect and logical situation to very belatedly talk about boundaries, years into the game.
In the meantime, Dazai finishes another shampooing of Chuuya's hair. Can't be stuck with that wet dog smell, can you?]
[The question takes him completely by surprise. It's been seven years, almost eight (minus four, but that's a technicality they both ignore), and they've never actually talked about that. Not really.]
Avoid my scalp with the conditioner.
[Dazai knows that. Chuuya knows Dazai knows that. He's just buying time as he decides how to answer that question.
He doesn't want to admit too much, either. If he does, he won't be able to keep pretending that he's not into all of Dazai's kinks, even if he knows Dazai never bought his objections at all. Maybe he's into being "tricked" sometimes. Plus, anything seems pretty broad. There's too many kinks out there and he can't remember them all on the spot.]
Probably? [It wouldn't be a long list, but still.] I'm not about to let you shit on me at least.
[Dazai applies the conditioner as instructed, and as he always would have. For the moment, he's behaving, because he finds himself surprisingly genuinely curious about what Chuuya's reply may be, the more so when Chuuya puts actual thought into it.
Then the answer comes, and Dazai manages to hold back for only about half a second before he bursts out laughing.]
That is unfortunate! So much for my plans for this evening.
[Nah, he's not even pretending to be serious. It's just so funny - less because of what Chuuya said, and more because Chuuya managed to be so very serious over something so absurd.
... Well, actually, he's right to be clear about these things, because you never know with Dazai. But Dazai is amused, anyway!]
[Chuuya pinches Dazai's side for that joke - but not too hard, because he can't help but let out a laugh, too. It did sound pretty ridiculous.]
Shut up. I couldn't think of anything on the spot!
[Which probably says a lot about how much he's willing to do. He realizes that a second too late, wonders if he can take it back, but then, Dazai already knew anyway. ]
There's too many kinks out there. If you really want to know, we should find a list or something. Or you can just ask me about anything specific.
[Dazai lets out a high-pitched "ow!" at that pinch all the same, flinching dramatically. It's fine even if they don't look up the full kink lists, really: he has a pretty good idea of what Chuuya likes, after all, and if he accidentally hit upon something Chuuya doesn't like, he'd notice soon enough.
Then again, if they do look at kink lists, maybe he'll find out something Chuuya likes that he hasn't thought of yet! So it might be worth it.]
Mhm. [It's no fun to ask directly, but maybe he will. Then again, maybe he won't! More importantly, he's applied the conditioner, so he can probably wash Chuuya a bit while that works its magic.]
Which soap? [Chuuya probably has several lying around. If that's mostly because some are for Dazai, Dazai hasn't fully realized that. It makes sense to scent according to mood, right?]
[Chuuya grabs one of the soaps, passing the bottle to Dazai. It's important to smell good, and he has a preference for anything that makes his showers and self-care feel more calming.]
I'll wash your hair next.
[He also really likes doing that for Dazai, when he can. Headrub included.
He's also not letting go of the topics of kinks, now that Dazai has brought it up. He's not sure looking at a kink list is a good idea, when it might encourage Dazai even more, but it's not like the bastard ever needed any help with that. Whoever writes those lists can never be as creative as he is.]
So is there anything at all you wouldn't do to me?
[There's probably sponges and such to use, but Dazai doesn't want to bother grabbing one, and he does want to rub his hands all over Chuuya. So he just puts some soap in his hand before putting the bottle aside, rubbing his hands together before putting them on Chuuya's shoulders and beginning to wash him.
... Honestly, Chuuya washing Dazai instead will become self-preservation very soon.]
I wonder... [His hands slow a bit as he thinks, though they keep moving, meticulously covering every inch of Chuuya's skin.] It seems a shame to discard options right from the start.
[There's plenty he wouldn't do to Chuuya, really, but that's not what's important to Dazai. He wants to have absurd ideas and just run with them, if and when they happen. If he starts ruling things out, that wouldn't be nearly as fun! And he'd also have to wonder why he doesn't want to do certain things, which is likely to involve feelings and hence get kind of gross. (What if he just puts "too many feelings" as a no? Not that he doesn't break that rule, but...)]
[Dazai is being a little too thorough with the way he's washing Chuuya. He shouldn't complain - he's not - but it's a bit difficult to just stand still with the way Dazai's touching him. He does his best not to react whenever Dazai finds a particularly sensitive spot, whether it's because it feels good or because it's a bit ticklish, just to avoid encouraging him.]
Yeah, looking at a kink list with you would definitely be a bad idea. If I say no to anything, you'd just take it as a challenge.
[Not completely true - Chuuya trusts Dazai for a reason. And when it comes to sex, Dazai's more interested in making him fall apart, in turning him into a horny needy mess, than making him angry or violent.
But Chuuya objects even more strongly to things that, okay, he'd definitely be into if they did them, but he doesn't wanna give Dazai the fuel. Like being his dog. He's been objecting to that one since they met, and Dazai still got his way in the end, and will inevitably get his way again. Probably soon.]
[At least Dazai isn't actively trying to mess with Chuuya at the moment, beyond just touching him - but that is for his own pleasure, too. It's very calming to pet your dog! Anything else is just a bonus.]
Would I? [The question manages to be both rhetorical and absolutely serious at the same time. To be fair, he does genuinely consider the answer himself as he slides his hands down to Chuuya's ass, giving a quick squeeze before letting go.] Only if you weren't serious about not wanting it.
[Then he definitely would just make it a challenge, yes. But he doesn't imagine Chuuya would lie about his hard limits, and so Dazai wouldn't push anything.
He turns around for easier access. His turn! Wash his hair, Chuuya.]
[Chuuya lets out a small, pleased sound at that squeeze, unable to stop himself. It's really a good thing Dazai finished washing his body for him, because all that touching was definitely starting to get to him.]
Exactly. It would only give you more ideas.
[More ideas that Chuuya would enjoy but that is clearly besides the point.
He guides Dazai's head under the spray, cards his fingers through his hair to make sure it all gets wet. Then he grabs the shampoo he bought specifically for Dazai, one that will make sure his hair is extra soft and wavy, and a scent that suits him better. He'll get up on tiptoe as he starts to massage that in, rubbing Dazai's scalp, his temples, working up a lather. He wants to make him feel good, too.]
[Just saying. So yes, maybe they should look up a kink list at some point after all, but Dazai isn't in the mood at the moment. He is trying, in his own way, to give Chuuya some time to recover from his "kink hangover", and while that doesn't specifically mean to avoid kink or even sex, Dazai is treading lightly.
He's also not having a bad time being lazy like this, himself, which probably helps.
He should probably crouch a bit to allow Chuuya easier access, but that seems boring, and so Dazai only tilts his head back as much as he no-longer-humanly can, closing his eyes. It's pretty nice, really. (Even though it would clearly have been better with his bandages still on!)]
[Which is about the same as him admitting that yes, he does. He just can't be too honest about it, that'd just be weird.
He keeps massaging Dazai's scalp for probably a few moments longer than what is necessary just to work the shampoo in, but finally helps him rinse it out, before repeating the process. He doesn't mind that Dazai won't crouch a bit, really. He's fine balancing on his toes, and he's used to this from him, even if the bastard does enjoy their height difference a lot more than he should. But the mood is too relaxed to complain.
[It's an honest enough admission! Dazai is pleased to hear it, too. It's not like he doesn't know these things, but sometimes it's still nice to have them spelled out. It's yet another way in which Chuuya manages not to be boring even when he is predictable - weird, but nice.]
Mhm. Maybe tomorrow.
[He doesn't mean that they're bound to have another intense kink session tomorrow, even though that certainly seems to be implied, and he doesn't bother correcting any assumptions in that direction. But it might be fun to play around with a list anyway, even if the actual "playing" may wait a while. (It feels like a new toy! New toys are meant to be played with as soon as possible!!)]
... Are you sure you haven't put enough things in my hair by now? [Not that he's not having a good time, but he can still "complain" if he wants.] The last time I used your products, everyone at work assumed I had nefarious plans to woo at least three women at the same time.
[Okay, that is a mild exaggeration. But really, these high quality products have a scent that actually lingers! It's a bit weird. (Not bad though. Even Dazai has to admit that the scents are really nice.)]
[Chuuya is definitely assuming that Dazai means they'll have another intense kink session. Maybe it's a bad idea - he doesn't know how much time he'll need to recover today, or if all of this will happen again if they do it again tomorrow - but Chuuya has never been one to back down from bad ideas. Especially not when he's horny.
And maybe he's curious to see what new things Dazai will come up with.]
Yeah. We can both try to find a list.
[And hey, don't complain when he's putting this much effort into making it feel good! Even if Dazai doesn't always like being touched too much! But Chuuya will finish up with the conditioner quickly.]
I thought they were supposed to be detectives? Can't even figure out scent marking.
[Clearly this is all just Chuuya laying claim to what's his!]
[Dazai isn't not planning to do anything tomorrow; they'll just have to see! Most kinks they haven't tried yet will likely require some preparations and/or purchases, but that's fine, too. Worst case scenario, they'll get to wallow in the joy of what they have planned for a while.
Dazai is also eager to find out where Chuuya will get his kink list from, because that is yet more information he can (ab)use. Not that he may not be stalking Chuuya's computer habits already when the mood strikes, but you know.]
That only works if it's you I'm smelling like, Chuuya! [Or not. But it's the definition that Dazai is choosing to roll with - until it gives him pause.] ... Actually, I probably do that too, don't I?
[Atsushi can definitely smell it, if he attempts to. But thankfully everyone's favorite tiger boy probably has other things on his mind most of the time, and if he were to get bold, he'd likely not practice on Dazai.]
[Chuuya would delete his internet history, if he thought it would do any good. If he really wants to keep something from Dazai, his only bet would be to use his work computer, and even then there's a chance the bastard might get access somehow...
But he's not worried about that right now. He is worried about his own realization, a few moments after Dazai's, that they do probably smell of each other, considering how much time they spend touching. His eyes widen for a moment, and then he's blushing.]
Normal people can't smell something like that!
[And then another realization:]
Would that tiger be able to smell it? Do tigers have a good sense of smell?
["Normal people" is definitely not who they tend to hang around with - but, as it turns out, Dazai doesn't have to point that out.]
Mhm.
[A simple confirmation, ever so casual. Atsushi absolutely is capable of smelling it, though Dazai highly doubts that Atsushi would actually do so. There's no need to burden Chuuya with that extra information though, is there?
Dazai just hopes he's there to see Chuuya's reaction, whenever Chuuya and Atsushi next run into each other.]
[Clearly the only solution is to immediately murder Atsushi!
Except no. No, he's not going to do that, and not just because Dazai would be pissed at him if he did. He has no reason to kill the tiger, and so he won't - he might be a mass murderer, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own set of morals. Clearly he just needs to avoid that tiger forever.]
So he knows? He's smelled it on you? [Wait--] No, we've never really met, he wouldn't know it's me. [But Chuuya hates the idea of him thinking Dazai smells of anyone else, too.] Do they all know in that agency of yours by now?!
[It's not actually much of a secret anymore, if it ever was. Chuuya is still going to duck his head and hide his face against Dazai's back. Even though he should probably be washing Dazai's back right now. Actually, though, that's a good point.]
[Yeaaaah, a few of people at the Agency probably know, even though Dazai hasn't been actively spreading the news. Ranpo was always going to know. Yosano probably knows just because of who she is as a person (and possibly due to a drinking session or two; just because Dazai doesn't go around telling everyone, that doesn't mean he's going to lie about it, either!). The kids probably don't know, which is just as well.
Kunikida definitely doesn't know, because Kunikida never knows anything when it comes to the finer social sides of life. At some point, Dazai is definitely going to tell him. But he needs to make sure he can catch it on camera properly, first.]
Do you really want to keep it a secret that much? [Are you embarrassed about your hot boyfriend, Chuuya?!? ;^; ] The Armed Detective Agency is not like the mafia, you know.
[Everyone at the Agency could know, and few if any people would care. Even apart from personal feelings, there would be no need to retaliate out of a sense of professional obligation, either: nobody at the Agency needs to pretend not to know. So isn't it fine? They can have one place where they can be open about their relationship! Ish!!]
[This really isn't how Chuuya expected the conversation to go. He wouldn't have expected Dazai to be this relaxed about people knowing about them. But then, he does usually take the opposite stance of Chuuya, just on principle, so maybe it's not surprising. But it's still annoying. Chuuya still hasn't calmed down from his initial surprise at that realization, so Dazai could at least show some reaction!
Chuuya grabs the soap he's chosen for Dazai, squirts some out, and starts washing his back, because Dazai's not escaping him now.]
It's not-- I'm not trying to keep it a secret. [Well, sort of. There are definitely people at the Port Mafia who know, too, though.] But it's never been anyone else's business what we do.
[And the second people know, they make it their business. And no one ever seems to get it.]
And I don't know. You don't talk about them that much, and I've never talked to any of them outside of Port Mafia business. Well, I guess except that kid.
[Somehow he did end up buying food for Kenji that one time. But that doesn't count.]
[Dazai definitely didn't set out to announce to the whole Agency how he's banging a mafia executive, but at the same time, why should he care about people knowing? It's possible that that started out of something less positive, really: if he cared about people knowing, he would have to admit to caring in the first place.
But now, it's just another fact of life. He really doesn't mind anyone knowing. Well... There is one person he minds knowing, but Mori probably knew before the two of them did, so there's no point in worrying about that. And, in that respect, the more people know, the cheaper Mori's knowledge becomes!]
... Would you like an introduction?
[He's mostly not serious, but with how Chuuya is going on about how he doesn't know the Agency people all that well, he feels like a jealous girlfriend who wants to be introduced to the parents already. Well, if Chuuya really does want to meet everyone, that's always possible. It may or may not be wise, but Dazai wouldn't say no offhand.]
They're enemy organizations, but that doesn't mean to the Agency what it does to the organization.
[Chuuya really has no idea what to say to that. He goes still for a moment, hands still resting where he'd been washing Dazai's body, but not moving. That's a bit too much to process all at once when he can't even tell if Dazai's serious or not.]
I already attacked them a few times. They have no reason to believe I won't do that again
[So he doubts it would be as simple as what Dazai's making it out to be. Except that Dazai does know them better than he does, and Dazai's rarely wrong about these things to begin with.
But it's not that easy either way. This definitely isn't something that Chuuya had been hinting at wanting, when he pointed out that he doesn't know them. Or maybe he does want it, but that doesn't mean it's at all possible, because even if the Agency takes these things as lightly as Dazai claims, the Port Mafia still doesn't. And Chuuya has to consider what his actions might look like to them.
That's why he doesn't like the idea of too many people knowing. Because his business is never just his own business. And it's not like he has a right to complain about that, but still, when it comes to this specific thing, there's a part of him that always gets upset at the reminder. Or maybe that's the part of him that gets scared]
Would be funny to see their reactions. Not really worth how complicated things would get, though.
[Chuuya shrugs his shoulders lightly like he's letting the topic go, and resumes his task of getting Dazai clean, hands gliding over his hips, nearly finished.
But Dazai made the offer. It means something that Dazai made the offer. Chuuya has always believed that Dazai has a right to those few things and people he calls his own, those rare times when it happens, and so he's always made sure to give him some space, just in case. And now he desperately wants to ask: Would you really be okay with that]
[There's no point in denying that. No matter what the situation is at the moment, the Agency and the Mafia are inherently enemies, and they will fight again. But does that really mean that Dazai and Chuuya can't do this? Is Dazai the only one inhuman enough to be able to put those differences aside?
Is he just so eager for something more than he is underestimating (though certainly not denying) the risks?]
... You're probably right.
[It would likely get too complicated. That is certainly objectively true.
So why does it feel oddly unsatisfying?
Oh well, perhaps the deep philosophical and existential questions are better saved for another time. He turns to face Chuuya again, his expression carefully neutral.]
[Chuuya has said that before. He still means it. If it comes to it, he'll do his best to find another way, or call Dazai so they can find another option together. He refuses to be Dazai's enemy in any way.
This conversation still somehow went downhill fast. Maybe it was always going to be a difficult topic. But it's Dazai saying that he might be right that makes Chuuya pause, and there's a moment where he's just trying to read his body language. As if he needs to, after that. He's always gonna be worried if Dazai says he's right.]
Yeah. Come here.
[He guides Dazai so his body's under the spray, clearly still thoughtful as he makes sure he's fully rinsed off. There's a lot of things to consider here. It really is too fucking complicated, and it has no right to be.]
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Trying to earn enough points so I'll agree to your kinks without you having to trick me?
[If so, it's working. Partially because they're Chuuya's kinks, too. Mostly because that's not what Dazai is doing, and Chuuya can tell. Sure, he might have considered it as a bonus - Dazai usually has more than one reason for anything he does - but if that was his real reason, if he thought he had to do this just to get some dog ears on Chuuya, he would have decided it was too much effort.
Especially since they both know he doesn't have to go to the trouble at all.]
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[... Well, sometimes yes, actually. But that's more to get things started, since Chuuya is clearly into any kink Dazai has ever tried to throw at him so far, and therefore it clearly doesn't count as tricking Chuuya at all.
Not that Dazai would have any hesitation whatsoever if I did have to trick Chuuya. But it's nice that he doesn't have to. (It's definitely less work!)]
Hmm... Actually, is there anything at all you wouldn't do?
[Maybe he's messing with Chuuya a bit, but it's mostly a serious question, no matter how well hidden his sincerity. (Not that he's really trying to hide it, but he's not trying to emphasize his sincerity either, and, Dazai being the kind of person he is, that's enough reason for most people to be thrown off.) Because clearly this is the perfect and logical situation to very belatedly talk about boundaries, years into the game.
In the meantime, Dazai finishes another shampooing of Chuuya's hair. Can't be stuck with that wet dog smell, can you?]
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[The question takes him completely by surprise. It's been seven years, almost eight (minus four, but that's a technicality they both ignore), and they've never actually talked about that. Not really.]
Avoid my scalp with the conditioner.
[Dazai knows that. Chuuya knows Dazai knows that. He's just buying time as he decides how to answer that question.
He doesn't want to admit too much, either. If he does, he won't be able to keep pretending that he's not into all of Dazai's kinks, even if he knows Dazai never bought his objections at all. Maybe he's into being "tricked" sometimes. Plus, anything seems pretty broad. There's too many kinks out there and he can't remember them all on the spot.]
Probably? [It wouldn't be a long list, but still.] I'm not about to let you shit on me at least.
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Then the answer comes, and Dazai manages to hold back for only about half a second before he bursts out laughing.]
That is unfortunate! So much for my plans for this evening.
[Nah, he's not even pretending to be serious. It's just so funny - less because of what Chuuya said, and more because Chuuya managed to be so very serious over something so absurd.
... Well, actually, he's right to be clear about these things, because you never know with Dazai. But Dazai is amused, anyway!]
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Shut up. I couldn't think of anything on the spot!
[Which probably says a lot about how much he's willing to do. He realizes that a second too late, wonders if he can take it back, but then, Dazai already knew anyway. ]
There's too many kinks out there. If you really want to know, we should find a list or something. Or you can just ask me about anything specific.
[He might even answer honestly!]
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Then again, if they do look at kink lists, maybe he'll find out something Chuuya likes that he hasn't thought of yet! So it might be worth it.]
Mhm. [It's no fun to ask directly, but maybe he will. Then again, maybe he won't! More importantly, he's applied the conditioner, so he can probably wash Chuuya a bit while that works its magic.]
Which soap? [Chuuya probably has several lying around. If that's mostly because some are for Dazai, Dazai hasn't fully realized that. It makes sense to scent according to mood, right?]
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I'll wash your hair next.
[He also really likes doing that for Dazai, when he can. Headrub included.
He's also not letting go of the topics of kinks, now that Dazai has brought it up. He's not sure looking at a kink list is a good idea, when it might encourage Dazai even more, but it's not like the bastard ever needed any help with that. Whoever writes those lists can never be as creative as he is.]
So is there anything at all you wouldn't do to me?
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... Honestly, Chuuya washing Dazai instead will become self-preservation very soon.]
I wonder... [His hands slow a bit as he thinks, though they keep moving, meticulously covering every inch of Chuuya's skin.] It seems a shame to discard options right from the start.
[There's plenty he wouldn't do to Chuuya, really, but that's not what's important to Dazai. He wants to have absurd ideas and just run with them, if and when they happen. If he starts ruling things out, that wouldn't be nearly as fun! And he'd also have to wonder why he doesn't want to do certain things, which is likely to involve feelings and hence get kind of gross. (What if he just puts "too many feelings" as a no? Not that he doesn't break that rule, but...)]
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Yeah, looking at a kink list with you would definitely be a bad idea. If I say no to anything, you'd just take it as a challenge.
[Not completely true - Chuuya trusts Dazai for a reason. And when it comes to sex, Dazai's more interested in making him fall apart, in turning him into a horny needy mess, than making him angry or violent.
But Chuuya objects even more strongly to things that, okay, he'd definitely be into if they did them, but he doesn't wanna give Dazai the fuel. Like being his dog. He's been objecting to that one since they met, and Dazai still got his way in the end, and will inevitably get his way again. Probably soon.]
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Would I? [The question manages to be both rhetorical and absolutely serious at the same time. To be fair, he does genuinely consider the answer himself as he slides his hands down to Chuuya's ass, giving a quick squeeze before letting go.] Only if you weren't serious about not wanting it.
[Then he definitely would just make it a challenge, yes. But he doesn't imagine Chuuya would lie about his hard limits, and so Dazai wouldn't push anything.
He turns around for easier access. His turn! Wash his hair, Chuuya.]
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Exactly. It would only give you more ideas.
[More ideas that Chuuya would enjoy but that is clearly besides the point.
He guides Dazai's head under the spray, cards his fingers through his hair to make sure it all gets wet. Then he grabs the shampoo he bought specifically for Dazai, one that will make sure his hair is extra soft and wavy, and a scent that suits him better. He'll get up on tiptoe as he starts to massage that in, rubbing Dazai's scalp, his temples, working up a lather. He wants to make him feel good, too.]
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[Just saying. So yes, maybe they should look up a kink list at some point after all, but Dazai isn't in the mood at the moment. He is trying, in his own way, to give Chuuya some time to recover from his "kink hangover", and while that doesn't specifically mean to avoid kink or even sex, Dazai is treading lightly.
He's also not having a bad time being lazy like this, himself, which probably helps.
He should probably crouch a bit to allow Chuuya easier access, but that seems boring, and so Dazai only tilts his head back as much as he no-longer-humanly can, closing his eyes. It's pretty nice, really. (Even though it would clearly have been better with his bandages still on!)]
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[Which is about the same as him admitting that yes, he does. He just can't be too honest about it, that'd just be weird.
He keeps massaging Dazai's scalp for probably a few moments longer than what is necessary just to work the shampoo in, but finally helps him rinse it out, before repeating the process. He doesn't mind that Dazai won't crouch a bit, really. He's fine balancing on his toes, and he's used to this from him, even if the bastard does enjoy their height difference a lot more than he should. But the mood is too relaxed to complain.
Maybe being a bit lazy isn't always a bad thing.]
I guess we can find one of those lists next time.
[Time for conditioner, too, for Maximum Soft.]
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Mhm. Maybe tomorrow.
[He doesn't mean that they're bound to have another intense kink session tomorrow, even though that certainly seems to be implied, and he doesn't bother correcting any assumptions in that direction. But it might be fun to play around with a list anyway, even if the actual "playing" may wait a while. (It feels like a new toy! New toys are meant to be played with as soon as possible!!)]
... Are you sure you haven't put enough things in my hair by now? [Not that he's not having a good time, but he can still "complain" if he wants.] The last time I used your products, everyone at work assumed I had nefarious plans to woo at least three women at the same time.
[Okay, that is a mild exaggeration. But really, these high quality products have a scent that actually lingers! It's a bit weird. (Not bad though. Even Dazai has to admit that the scents are really nice.)]
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And maybe he's curious to see what new things Dazai will come up with.]
Yeah. We can both try to find a list.
[And hey, don't complain when he's putting this much effort into making it feel good! Even if Dazai doesn't always like being touched too much! But Chuuya will finish up with the conditioner quickly.]
I thought they were supposed to be detectives? Can't even figure out scent marking.
[Clearly this is all just Chuuya laying claim to what's his!]
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Dazai is also eager to find out where Chuuya will get his kink list from, because that is yet more information he can (ab)use. Not that he may not be stalking Chuuya's computer habits already when the mood strikes, but you know.]
That only works if it's you I'm smelling like, Chuuya! [Or not. But it's the definition that Dazai is choosing to roll with - until it gives him pause.] ... Actually, I probably do that too, don't I?
[Atsushi can definitely smell it, if he attempts to. But thankfully everyone's favorite tiger boy probably has other things on his mind most of the time, and if he were to get bold, he'd likely not practice on Dazai.]
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But he's not worried about that right now. He is worried about his own realization, a few moments after Dazai's, that they do probably smell of each other, considering how much time they spend touching. His eyes widen for a moment, and then he's blushing.]
Normal people can't smell something like that!
[And then another realization:]
Would that tiger be able to smell it? Do tigers have a good sense of smell?
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Mhm.
[A simple confirmation, ever so casual. Atsushi absolutely is capable of smelling it, though Dazai highly doubts that Atsushi would actually do so. There's no need to burden Chuuya with that extra information though, is there?
Dazai just hopes he's there to see Chuuya's reaction, whenever Chuuya and Atsushi next run into each other.]
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Except no. No, he's not going to do that, and not just because Dazai would be pissed at him if he did. He has no reason to kill the tiger, and so he won't - he might be a mass murderer, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own set of morals. Clearly he just needs to avoid that tiger forever.]
So he knows? He's smelled it on you? [Wait--] No, we've never really met, he wouldn't know it's me. [But Chuuya hates the idea of him thinking Dazai smells of anyone else, too.] Do they all know in that agency of yours by now?!
[It's not actually much of a secret anymore, if it ever was. Chuuya is still going to duck his head and hide his face against Dazai's back. Even though he should probably be washing Dazai's back right now. Actually, though, that's a good point.]
I'm gonna scrub you really clean.
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Kunikida definitely doesn't know, because Kunikida never knows anything when it comes to the finer social sides of life. At some point, Dazai is definitely going to tell him. But he needs to make sure he can catch it on camera properly, first.]
Do you really want to keep it a secret that much? [Are you embarrassed about your hot boyfriend, Chuuya?!? ;^; ] The Armed Detective Agency is not like the mafia, you know.
[Everyone at the Agency could know, and few if any people would care. Even apart from personal feelings, there would be no need to retaliate out of a sense of professional obligation, either: nobody at the Agency needs to pretend not to know. So isn't it fine? They can have one place where they can be open about their relationship! Ish!!]
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Chuuya grabs the soap he's chosen for Dazai, squirts some out, and starts washing his back, because Dazai's not escaping him now.]
It's not-- I'm not trying to keep it a secret. [Well, sort of. There are definitely people at the Port Mafia who know, too, though.] But it's never been anyone else's business what we do.
[And the second people know, they make it their business. And no one ever seems to get it.]
And I don't know. You don't talk about them that much, and I've never talked to any of them outside of Port Mafia business. Well, I guess except that kid.
[Somehow he did end up buying food for Kenji that one time. But that doesn't count.]
How's it different?
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But now, it's just another fact of life. He really doesn't mind anyone knowing. Well... There is one person he minds knowing, but Mori probably knew before the two of them did, so there's no point in worrying about that. And, in that respect, the more people know, the cheaper Mori's knowledge becomes!]
... Would you like an introduction?
[He's mostly not serious, but with how Chuuya is going on about how he doesn't know the Agency people all that well, he feels like a jealous girlfriend who wants to be introduced to the parents already. Well, if Chuuya really does want to meet everyone, that's always possible. It may or may not be wise, but Dazai wouldn't say no offhand.]
They're enemy organizations, but that doesn't mean to the Agency what it does to the organization.
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I already attacked them a few times. They have no reason to believe I won't do that again
[So he doubts it would be as simple as what Dazai's making it out to be. Except that Dazai does know them better than he does, and Dazai's rarely wrong about these things to begin with.
But it's not that easy either way. This definitely isn't something that Chuuya had been hinting at wanting, when he pointed out that he doesn't know them. Or maybe he does want it, but that doesn't mean it's at all possible, because even if the Agency takes these things as lightly as Dazai claims, the Port Mafia still doesn't. And Chuuya has to consider what his actions might look like to them.
That's why he doesn't like the idea of too many people knowing. Because his business is never just his own business. And it's not like he has a right to complain about that, but still, when it comes to this specific thing, there's a part of him that always gets upset at the reminder. Or maybe that's the part of him that gets scared]
Would be funny to see their reactions. Not really worth how complicated things would get, though.
[Chuuya shrugs his shoulders lightly like he's letting the topic go, and resumes his task of getting Dazai clean, hands gliding over his hips, nearly finished.
But Dazai made the offer. It means something that Dazai made the offer. Chuuya has always believed that Dazai has a right to those few things and people he calls his own, those rare times when it happens, and so he's always made sure to give him some space, just in case. And now he desperately wants to ask: Would you really be okay with that]
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[There's no point in denying that. No matter what the situation is at the moment, the Agency and the Mafia are inherently enemies, and they will fight again. But does that really mean that Dazai and Chuuya can't do this? Is Dazai the only one inhuman enough to be able to put those differences aside?
Is he just so eager for something more than he is underestimating (though certainly not denying) the risks?]
... You're probably right.
[It would likely get too complicated. That is certainly objectively true.
So why does it feel oddly unsatisfying?
Oh well, perhaps the deep philosophical and existential questions are better saved for another time. He turns to face Chuuya again, his expression carefully neutral.]
Time to rinse off?
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[Chuuya has said that before. He still means it. If it comes to it, he'll do his best to find another way, or call Dazai so they can find another option together. He refuses to be Dazai's enemy in any way.
This conversation still somehow went downhill fast. Maybe it was always going to be a difficult topic. But it's Dazai saying that he might be right that makes Chuuya pause, and there's a moment where he's just trying to read his body language. As if he needs to, after that. He's always gonna be worried if Dazai says he's right.]
Yeah. Come here.
[He guides Dazai so his body's under the spray, clearly still thoughtful as he makes sure he's fully rinsed off. There's a lot of things to consider here. It really is too fucking complicated, and it has no right to be.]
We could find a way to get away with it.
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