It's a weird thought to have when it comes to Dazai, of all people. But when Chuuya had run into him, late at night, driving around on his motorcycle because he couldn't sleep, he hadn't actually planned to drive them out of Yokohama. He'd stopped, let Dazai on, and then decided he didn't want to let him off again. It was too late to bother sleeping anyway, and all Chuuya had to look forward to in the morning was meetings, reports he still hadn't written, more work even though he was already ahead on everything he needed to do. But he'd worked extra hard lately, trying to prove... something.
Something he already proved years ago.
So instead of looping the city, like he usually does, he'd turned around, and headed out of Yokohama completely, never actually giving Dazai a chance to object.
And now here they are, a small town a little way outside of Yokohama. Chuuya only stopped because he's been driving for a while, and he could use a break. He has to be more cautious with Dazai behind him. He rolls his shoulders as he gets off, a little disappointed to lose the warm weight of his ex-partner pressed against his back.]
Let's get some coffee.
[No, he has no intention of addressing this kidnapping. Dazai will just have to put up with it. But they're here now, so they might as well get some breakfast.]
[As it happen, Dazai wouldn't have objected, even if he'd been given the chance to. Perhaps he should, being kidnapped and all, but that's hardly the worst thing that's ever been done to him, and - objectively speaking, of course - it's arguably less than he owes Chuuya. In itself, that's probably not a good reason to keep from complaining for the sake of it, but Dazai is curious what this is about. It's not often that this kind of unexpected thing happens, after all.
At any rate, if Chuuya had bad intentions, Dazai wouldn't be breathing anymore, so it's probably fine. Besides, what reason does Dazai have to stay in Yokohama - work? Pffft, he can do that some other day. Or week. Or month...
And so he simply holds on, arms around Chuuya, and keeps an eye on where they're heading - not because he's worried about his fate or anything (does he even have one of those?), but because it might give him some clue as to what this is about. Not so much as a guess so far, though.
He gets off the back of the bike as if this whole trip was his idea, walking over to the nearest place selling coffee, because for once he agrees with Chuuya: coffee is not a bad idea.]
Dissatisfied with the coffee in Yokohama? I'm fairly sure it will taste the same here, though.
[He's not directly asking what this is about - not yet, at least. But he's going to point out that he knows something is going on, anyway.]
[Guessing Chuuya’s plan isn’t easy when none of this was planned at all. It was probably a bad idea - it’s difficult to let go of the stress of feeling like he’s letting down everyone in the Port Mafia by not being there. But he’s ahead on all of his work, so he really has no reason to feel bad.
He allows himself to fall a step behind as Dazai located a coffee place, sending off a few quick text messages, letting his assistant know to cover his duties for the day. He’ll have to let Kouyou know later, too.
He slips his phone back in his pocket, hoping Dazai didn’t notice.]
It’s supposed to taste better in fresh air or something, right?
[And the air is definitely fresher here than in Yokohama, so it works as an excuse. And the sun is up, so maybe they could find a table outside. He’ll order them some breakfast, too, he thinks, because some food will help him figure out what to pretend his actual plan was.
It won’t be convincing either way. He’s wearing his biker outfit, which is a point in favor of this being planned, but yesterday’s makeup is smudged in the corner of his eyes, and his hair is messier than he prefers it. Though he’ll blame that one on the wind.]
[He says it casually agreeing, though: this is hardly a topic worth arguing about. Anyway, Dazai has allowed himself to get dragged into this, and so he's planning to go along with it until and unless things get out of hand. He doesn't comment on Chuuya using his phone, either, but he makes a mental note that this is probably going to take a while. (Dazai, for his part, is not texting the ADA though. He'll just text them back if and when someone asks him where he is. He's mentally making bets with himself as to who will ask and how long it will take them.)
In the interest of both of them waking up for the new day after skipping a night's sleep, sitting out in the sun is a pretty good idea. It's also safer, probably, on the off chance this ends up blowing up somehow - not necessarily for Chuuya's fault, but due to the mafia and/or other external factors. At this time of day, the risk of being seen isn't as bad as having obvious escape routes and such, and so Dazai picks a table outside, pulls out a chair for Chuuya... and quickly keeps walking to grab a chair of his own. Sorry Chuu, you're not a lady; he's not going to help you move the chair closer to the table again. Still pulled it out for you, though. Shhh, we don't talk about that, it doesn't count.]
If Chuuya is buying? At least twice as hungry as usual.
[So, like. The equivalent of a normal human being with a rather small appetite, really. Chuuya buying has little to do with that, it's just something to say at this point.
But Dazai can eat. One thing. Probably just one small thing...]
[Since Chuuya did kidnap Dazai, he figures buying him breakfast is the least he could do. Though he’s fully aware he’s most likely end up paying either way… But it’s not like he ever really minds.]
So you’re barely hungry at all. We can get something light.
[He knows Dazai, after all, including his food habits. He looks briefly surprised when Dazai chooses a seat for him, but then sits without argument, stretching out his legs. When the server comes over, he simply asks for some recommendations, because he’s too tired to make decisions. Coffee is what matters the most anyway.]
[Dazai is half tempted to order a big breakfast just to piss Chuuya off, but he really would only take a bite or two, so it would be a waste of the poor waitstaff's efforts. Also (and more importantly): he'd never get answers out of Chuuya if he pissed him off too much. Also (and not unimportantly either): Dazai just isn't in the mood to piss Chuuya off. Go figure. Clearly he's having a generous day (or two, as the case may be by now).
So Dazai orders some kind of chocolate cake that's no doubt only on the menu for teenage girls to feel naughty about eating, and a large coffee with entirely too much of everything.]
It doesn't get a lot of tourists, but supposedly it's not without merits. [Or so he's heard. Not like he ever had any reason to check and make sure.] It's the perfect destination for Chuuya's first vacation in a decade~!
[Chuuya orders himself some sort of sandwich. Unlike Dazai, he can’t survive on just sugar, although his coffee won’t exactly be the healthiest either. And maybe he can steal a bite of that chocolate cake.]
It’s not a vacation. And I’ve had vacations.
[When Kouyou orders him to. And he still struggles to actually take a break during that time, answering emails and keeping on top of what he can even from a distance.
Though speaking of.]
Anesan ordered me to take a couple of days off though.
[Yeaaaaah, he doesn't buy it. But that's fine; it's not untrue in that Kouyou would undoubtedly have told Chuuya to take some days off if she'd thought he would listen, though. She simple can't always pull the "orders" card. So, close enough to true! Dazai isn't going to argue.]
Did she order you to drag me along too? Admittedly it's not a terrible way of hampering the competition while you're away.
[Which makes it something Mori would order if anything, but if Chuuya is taking a semi-official Break™, Dazai isn't going to throw the M-word at him.
I just felt like making a point about how easy you are to kidnap.
[Also not the real reason, but why would he ever answer honestly, even knowing Dazai can see through him. And who knows, maybe one day Dazai will actually believe one of his lies. Possibly. If he hits his head hard enough.
Where's that coffee?]
Are you gonna complain about getting a day off work?
Not today. So can you really claim it's easy to kidnap me, when I had no reason to resist?
[Technically that means it doesn't even count as a kidnapping, though Dazai isn't going to point that out. He may just find a use for that term eventually, after all. (Oohoo, kinky play~! ... Yeah, probably not that, but still.)
The coffee follows quickly enough, as it happens, and so does Dazai's cake. Chuuya's sandwich will take a bit longer to make, but it won't be far behind. Dazai is exceedingly friendly with the waitstaff, but not to the point of his usual gross clinginess, which is probably saying something. (Let's not think too hard about what.) The moment they leave, he steeples his fingers in joy, looking at his cake.
Well... it is a food. Technically. And after staying up all night, a bit of sugar can't hurt.]
[He really didn't. He didn't even decide to leave Yokohama until after they'd been driving for a bit, but... details.
He resists rolling his eyes when Dazai acts friendly with the waitstaff, but he does notice that he's not flirting nearly as much as he could be. He's... not sure how to take that, actually, but he knows it makes him feel weirdly warm, even though it probably doesn't mean anything at all. Maybe Dazai is just tired, or maybe he doesn't like their perfume.
More importantly: That cakes does look good. And conveniently, Chuuya's coffee came with a spoon for stirring in sugar. He grabs said spoon like a weapon, and then launches forward, trying to dig into that cake for the first bite. Just let him have a taste, it's only fair, Dazai owes him. Or something.]
[Which is all Dazai will say to that, actually. He's going to just let that sit and save his epic comeback, should he choose to use it, for a more opportune moment.
Or maybe it's just too easy to bully Chuuya at this time when that would get him no answers, nor another free meal. Probably that.
And so the time has come! The epic cake battle of cutlery begins. A spoon is convenient and all, but Dazai has a fork, giving him a slight advantage in blocking - which he does, as if he was expecting Chuuya's move, and he really shouldn't have. It's not that he minds sharing, really - it's up in the air whether he could finish the cake anyway - but it's the principle of the thing!]
If you're taking a bite of my food I am also taking a bite of yours later, Chuuya.
[He doesn't actually care; he's probably not even going to keep bother blocking Chuuya's cake-attacks, and that is only 90% because he knows it's a fight he's unlikely to win. But, again, the principle of the thing!]
[That lack of a response is almost worse. Because Chuuya knows Dazai sees through him, and apparently he's not even bothering to call him out at this point.
But the cake battle is a good distraction! His first attempt is foiled, but Chuuya was prepared for that, and he's ready to launch a follow up attack. Of course, he has to be careful not to spill any coffee or knock the table over, but what's life without a little risk. He's up to the challenge! He knows that cake will be --
Those words cut off his attempt before he really gets going.]
Fine.
[Because he always shares his food if Dazai wants it, and that demand was too reasonable. It's unfair.]
[There absolutely would have been. Will there be, now that leaving any cake equals giving it to Chuuya? At the moment, Dazai is thinking no, he will absolutely stuff himself as much as he needs to prevent that from happening. In reality, though, he'll likely give up on that valiant attempt halfway through, especially since he is now duty-bound (or pettiness-bound) to take a bite of Chuuya's food, too.
With the cake wars thus summarily concluded, Dazai no longer fights Chuuya's attempts to steal his sugary goodness. He even goes so far as to push the cake a little more in Chuuya's direction for easier access - and that is actually as cheap a move as it seems to be, because he's going to need a gesture of peace if they're going to talk about things.]
So? Rough day at the office?
[Look at him being a perfect housewife, nobody appreciates him enough.]
[Chuuya reaches over to take his hard-earned bite of cake, but pauses for a second at the way Dazai actually pushes him closer, looking up at him to see what he's up to. And then he lets out a slight huff at that question.
He'll take a slightly larger piece of cake than planned.]
I prefer it rough.
[He knows what Dazai is asking. But he's going to enjoy this cake first. Actually, it's really good, and now he's wondering why he doesn't buy himself cake more often. He's going to lick that spoon clean, in fact. And totally not because he's dragging this out to avoid answering.]
I'd say "so that's the problem?" but we both know that isn't true.
[He's not saying work is the problem per se - be it the lack thereof or anything else - but he is saying that Chuuya is ignoring whatever is the problem. Dazai could guess, and he might even be right, but he doesn't enjoy guessing, especially when even getting it right won't do him any favors. Better to let Chuuya lay it out, himself.
Or not, and they can eat and maybe fuck and enjoy themselves well enough, but there is clearly something bigger at play here, and Dazai assumes that Chuuya didn't drag him here only for his infinite charm and/or his dick. (Well, maybe partly the latter.) He'd rather deal with that immediately - but if Chuuya doesn't want to talk, it can wait. Dazai won't even sigh too loudly about it probably.]
[Sometimes Dazai wants to prove that he knows everything, and what he doesn't know, he can figure out. He's a smug bastard, an asshole who deserves a punch to the face. Other times, like now, he decides Chuuya needs to tell him everything instead... And Chuuya isn't sure which one is worse, really.
Dazai doesn't give up, even when you think he has. And he knows how to get Chuuya to spill his secrets. Chuuya rubs at the back of his neck. Maybe if he asks for a cloth napkin he can just shove it in Dazai's mouth and shut him up, and save himself that way. Maybe Dazai won't notice the ever-so-slight flush to Chuuya's cheeks as he looks at him.
Because all of this definitely has to do with Dazai.]
There's no problem at all.
[Sort of. Maybe. At least he's temporarily saved by the arrival of his sandwich, the waiter apologizing for the delay. It's Chuuya's turn to push his plate closer to Dazai, offering it to him first.]
If you take two bites, I get another bite of that cake.
[No problem at all... Right. Well, if Chuuya isn't going to spill the beans just yet, Dazai can wait - and drink his own beans, as it happens, because he might just need that dose of caffeine to kick in before long.
For once in his life, Dazai truly is blissfully ignorant of what's happening. Then again, when he's supposedly-unaware to this degree, so very uncharacteristically, can we really be sure that he's not blocking out all the relevant information in a desperate attempt at denial?]
I never said I wanted two bites!
[He protests dramatically as he takes his one allowed bite... which definitely won't be the only one now, because he knows a challenge when he sees it.]
[He knows Dazai didn't drop it. But maybe he'll feel less awkward after some food and coffee. He takes a moment to drink from his own, the warm steam against his face waking him up a little. It will be a while before it actually kicks in, but that first moment always feels good. He relaxes a little.
And takes a second to look around the area. It's a quiet street compared to Yokohama, but most likely it would be considered busy here. It's a completely different feeling from the city.]
Besides, shouldn't we figure out what we're doing today first? Do we wanna stay here or keep driving?
[Listen, your bike may be relatively comfortable, but Dazai doesn't have enough of a butt to cushion all that sitting. Clearly you need to get him one of those sidecars and just make it an oversized bedcave so he can lie around in there.]
How about we spend the morning here, and see about more driving in the afternoon?
[What do you mean, sleep is something normal people need to catch up on? They're not normal people anyway, this is fine. And if either of them need to return to Yokohama for some emergency, this will buy them a little time for their respective coworkers to freak out and contact them.
Dazai is also simply accepting that this may turn into a multi-day trip, because at this point, that makes more sense than anything.]
[He's watching you. He knows your thieving ways, Dazai, and he will have his just desserts, since he absolutely couldn't afford to just buy more cake.]
Yeah, sounds good. We can figure out if there's anything to do here.
[What do people even do in small towns? But it's not like either of them packed for travel, even just an overnight trip, so if they decide to move on they should at least make sure they have what they need.
His sandwich is good - not as good as the cake, but good - and he's realizing now just how hungry he was. That usually happens. He gets busy with work, and forgets to eat until he has food in front of him, usually because someone has it brought to his office. He can't remember the last time he sat down just to enjoy breakfast like this, with no responsibilities or obligations.
Or at least, none that he hasn't decided to pretend don't exist. He's stubbornly ignoring that source of guilt.]
Maybe there's a park or something. [Is that what normal people do???] Or we check out any local stores.
[His just desserts can't be just cake! That would deny the plural altogether!!
Well, if it's really too much work, maybe Dazai won't bother trying to steal anything and dealing with the resulting mess. He can save that for another meal when such agreements haven't yet been made, and so Chuuya clearly can't have a problem with it. Dazai is still more interested in getting answers, here.
Then again, an all-expenses-paid mini-vacation isn't bad, regardless of details!
Dazai has some doubts about being in public like this, partly because it's not Yokohama and partly in spite of that, but it's probably only a minor risk, and regardless, even if feces were to hit the proverbial fan, it's nothing they can't handle. Something to be aware of all the same.]
Stores, then. [Dazai would enjoy a park, but if they're going to do more driving and hence sitting later, he might eventually die of boredom, and that is definitely the most painful way of committing suicide he has yet discovered. Big X, not allowed.] Maybe we'll finally find Chuuya a decent hat!
[Nahhhh he's joking. But clothes are a safe bet, and Dazai would also be rather fond of any dumb touristy shops. The blatant absurdity is quite refreshing!]
Except Dazai doesn't seem to be stealing more food than he's owed. It's almost a bit disappointing, not getting the distraction of a game, a squabble neither of them mean, a challenge he knows he's going to lose. Even though it's... actually really nice to just have breakfast together, away from everything. It's something almost too normal for them.
It's definitely risky, too.]
There's no way I'm wearing anything you pick out. But I can find some clothes for you.
[He's the one with taste here, right? Clearly he should be in charge of shopping. Though he won't mind going into whatever silly shops Dazai wants to, either.]
I can think of a few ways to make you look half-decent.
[Trying not to look offended, even though he kind of is. How dare you deny his dashing good looks?!]
I already look more than decent, Chuuya.
[Not that he'd especially mind getting an outfit based on Chuuya's recommendations, but he doesn't really want to give in so easily, especially when he's already given up on his part of that sandwich that he didn't want in the first place. (He is being nice here! Kind of! For him!!)]
If you want to dress me, you should let me dress you too. It's only fair.
[He can't just admit how attractive he thinks dazai is???]
Says who?
[And maybe it's fun to be a bit difficult sometimes. Dazai can't always get what he wants, after all, even if Chuuya does end up considering that offer. Is it worth getting to dress Dazai if Dazai is also going to dress him? Because that definitely comes with a whole lot of risks. There's a pause as he drinks more coffee.]
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It's a weird thought to have when it comes to Dazai, of all people. But when Chuuya had run into him, late at night, driving around on his motorcycle because he couldn't sleep, he hadn't actually planned to drive them out of Yokohama. He'd stopped, let Dazai on, and then decided he didn't want to let him off again. It was too late to bother sleeping anyway, and all Chuuya had to look forward to in the morning was meetings, reports he still hadn't written, more work even though he was already ahead on everything he needed to do. But he'd worked extra hard lately, trying to prove... something.
Something he already proved years ago.
So instead of looping the city, like he usually does, he'd turned around, and headed out of Yokohama completely, never actually giving Dazai a chance to object.
And now here they are, a small town a little way outside of Yokohama. Chuuya only stopped because he's been driving for a while, and he could use a break. He has to be more cautious with Dazai behind him. He rolls his shoulders as he gets off, a little disappointed to lose the warm weight of his ex-partner pressed against his back.]
Let's get some coffee.
[No, he has no intention of addressing this kidnapping. Dazai will just have to put up with it. But they're here now, so they might as well get some breakfast.]
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At any rate, if Chuuya had bad intentions, Dazai wouldn't be breathing anymore, so it's probably fine. Besides, what reason does Dazai have to stay in Yokohama - work? Pffft, he can do that some other day. Or week. Or month...
And so he simply holds on, arms around Chuuya, and keeps an eye on where they're heading - not because he's worried about his fate or anything (does he even have one of those?), but because it might give him some clue as to what this is about. Not so much as a guess so far, though.
He gets off the back of the bike as if this whole trip was his idea, walking over to the nearest place selling coffee, because for once he agrees with Chuuya: coffee is not a bad idea.]
Dissatisfied with the coffee in Yokohama? I'm fairly sure it will taste the same here, though.
[He's not directly asking what this is about - not yet, at least. But he's going to point out that he knows something is going on, anyway.]
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He allows himself to fall a step behind as Dazai located a coffee place, sending off a few quick text messages, letting his assistant know to cover his duties for the day. He’ll have to let Kouyou know later, too.
He slips his phone back in his pocket, hoping Dazai didn’t notice.]
It’s supposed to taste better in fresh air or something, right?
[And the air is definitely fresher here than in Yokohama, so it works as an excuse. And the sun is up, so maybe they could find a table outside. He’ll order them some breakfast, too, he thinks, because some food will help him figure out what to pretend his actual plan was.
It won’t be convincing either way. He’s wearing his biker outfit, which is a point in favor of this being planned, but yesterday’s makeup is smudged in the corner of his eyes, and his hair is messier than he prefers it. Though he’ll blame that one on the wind.]
How hungry are you?
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[He says it casually agreeing, though: this is hardly a topic worth arguing about. Anyway, Dazai has allowed himself to get dragged into this, and so he's planning to go along with it until and unless things get out of hand. He doesn't comment on Chuuya using his phone, either, but he makes a mental note that this is probably going to take a while. (Dazai, for his part, is not texting the ADA though. He'll just text them back if and when someone asks him where he is. He's mentally making bets with himself as to who will ask and how long it will take them.)
In the interest of both of them waking up for the new day after skipping a night's sleep, sitting out in the sun is a pretty good idea. It's also safer, probably, on the off chance this ends up blowing up somehow - not necessarily for Chuuya's fault, but due to the mafia and/or other external factors. At this time of day, the risk of being seen isn't as bad as having obvious escape routes and such, and so Dazai picks a table outside, pulls out a chair for Chuuya... and quickly keeps walking to grab a chair of his own. Sorry Chuu, you're not a lady; he's not going to help you move the chair closer to the table again.
Still pulled it out for you, though. Shhh, we don't talk about that, it doesn't count.]If Chuuya is buying? At least twice as hungry as usual.
[So, like. The equivalent of a normal human being with a rather small appetite, really. Chuuya buying has little to do with that, it's just something to say at this point.
But Dazai can eat. One thing. Probably just one small thing...]
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So you’re barely hungry at all. We can get something light.
[He knows Dazai, after all, including his food habits. He looks briefly surprised when Dazai chooses a seat for him, but then sits without argument, stretching out his legs. When the server comes over, he simply asks for some recommendations, because he’s too tired to make decisions. Coffee is what matters the most anyway.]
Don’t think I’ve ever been to this town before.
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So Dazai orders some kind of chocolate cake that's no doubt only on the menu for teenage girls to feel naughty about eating, and a large coffee with entirely too much of everything.]
It doesn't get a lot of tourists, but supposedly it's not without merits. [Or so he's heard. Not like he ever had any reason to check and make sure.] It's the perfect destination for Chuuya's first vacation in a decade~!
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It’s not a vacation. And I’ve had vacations.
[When Kouyou orders him to. And he still struggles to actually take a break during that time, answering emails and keeping on top of what he can even from a distance.
Though speaking of.]
Anesan ordered me to take a couple of days off though.
[A lie, she has no idea, but a good excuse.]
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[Yeaaaaah, he doesn't buy it. But that's fine; it's not untrue in that Kouyou would undoubtedly have told Chuuya to take some days off if she'd thought he would listen, though. She simple can't always pull the "orders" card. So, close enough to true! Dazai isn't going to argue.]
Did she order you to drag me along too? Admittedly it's not a terrible way of hampering the competition while you're away.
[Which makes it something Mori would order if anything, but if Chuuya is taking a semi-official Break™, Dazai isn't going to throw the M-word at him.
Probably.]
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[Also not the real reason, but why would he ever answer honestly, even knowing Dazai can see through him. And who knows, maybe one day Dazai will actually believe one of his lies. Possibly. If he hits his head hard enough.
Where's that coffee?]
Are you gonna complain about getting a day off work?
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[Technically that means it doesn't even count as a kidnapping, though Dazai isn't going to point that out. He may just find a use for that term eventually, after all. (Oohoo, kinky play~! ... Yeah, probably not that, but still.)
The coffee follows quickly enough, as it happens, and so does Dazai's cake. Chuuya's sandwich will take a bit longer to make, but it won't be far behind. Dazai is exceedingly friendly with the waitstaff, but not to the point of his usual gross clinginess, which is probably saying something. (Let's not think too hard about what.) The moment they leave, he steeples his fingers in joy, looking at his cake.
Well... it is a food. Technically. And after staying up all night, a bit of sugar can't hurt.]
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[He really didn't. He didn't even decide to leave Yokohama until after they'd been driving for a bit, but... details.
He resists rolling his eyes when Dazai acts friendly with the waitstaff, but he does notice that he's not flirting nearly as much as he could be. He's... not sure how to take that, actually, but he knows it makes him feel weirdly warm, even though it probably doesn't mean anything at all. Maybe Dazai is just tired, or maybe he doesn't like their perfume.
More importantly: That cakes does look good. And conveniently, Chuuya's coffee came with a spoon for stirring in sugar. He grabs said spoon like a weapon, and then launches forward, trying to dig into that cake for the first bite. Just let him have a taste, it's only fair, Dazai owes him. Or something.]
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[Which is all Dazai will say to that, actually. He's going to just let that sit and save his epic comeback, should he choose to use it, for a more opportune moment.
Or maybe it's just too easy to bully Chuuya at this time when that would get him no answers, nor another free meal. Probably that.
And so the time has come! The epic cake battle of cutlery begins. A spoon is convenient and all, but Dazai has a fork, giving him a slight advantage in blocking - which he does, as if he was expecting Chuuya's move, and he really shouldn't have. It's not that he minds sharing, really - it's up in the air whether he could finish the cake anyway - but it's the principle of the thing!]
If you're taking a bite of my food I am also taking a bite of yours later, Chuuya.
[He doesn't actually care; he's probably not even going to keep bother blocking Chuuya's cake-attacks, and that is only 90% because he knows it's a fight he's unlikely to win. But, again, the principle of the thing!]
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But the cake battle is a good distraction! His first attempt is foiled, but Chuuya was prepared for that, and he's ready to launch a follow up attack. Of course, he has to be careful not to spill any coffee or knock the table over, but what's life without a little risk. He's up to the challenge! He knows that cake will be --
Those words cut off his attempt before he really gets going.]
Fine.
[Because he always shares his food if Dazai wants it, and that demand was too reasonable. It's unfair.]
But I get the rest of your cake when you're full.
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[There absolutely would have been. Will there be, now that leaving any cake equals giving it to Chuuya? At the moment, Dazai is thinking no, he will absolutely stuff himself as much as he needs to prevent that from happening. In reality, though, he'll likely give up on that valiant attempt halfway through, especially since he is now duty-bound (or pettiness-bound) to take a bite of Chuuya's food, too.
With the cake wars thus summarily concluded, Dazai no longer fights Chuuya's attempts to steal his sugary goodness. He even goes so far as to push the cake a little more in Chuuya's direction for easier access - and that is actually as cheap a move as it seems to be, because he's going to need a gesture of peace if they're going to talk about things.]
So? Rough day at the office?
[Look at him being a perfect housewife, nobody appreciates him enough.]
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He'll take a slightly larger piece of cake than planned.]
I prefer it rough.
[He knows what Dazai is asking. But he's going to enjoy this cake first. Actually, it's really good, and now he's wondering why he doesn't buy himself cake more often. He's going to lick that spoon clean, in fact. And totally not because he's dragging this out to avoid answering.]
There's nothing going on at work, Dazai.
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[He's not saying work is the problem per se - be it the lack thereof or anything else - but he is saying that Chuuya is ignoring whatever is the problem. Dazai could guess, and he might even be right, but he doesn't enjoy guessing, especially when even getting it right won't do him any favors. Better to let Chuuya lay it out, himself.
Or not, and they can eat and maybe fuck and enjoy themselves well enough, but there is clearly something bigger at play here, and Dazai assumes that Chuuya didn't drag him here only for his infinite charm and/or his dick. (Well, maybe partly the latter.) He'd rather deal with that immediately - but if Chuuya doesn't want to talk, it can wait. Dazai won't even sigh too loudly about it
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Dazai doesn't give up, even when you think he has. And he knows how to get Chuuya to spill his secrets. Chuuya rubs at the back of his neck. Maybe if he asks for a cloth napkin he can just shove it in Dazai's mouth and shut him up, and save himself that way. Maybe Dazai won't notice the ever-so-slight flush to Chuuya's cheeks as he looks at him.
Because all of this definitely has to do with Dazai.]
There's no problem at all.
[Sort of. Maybe. At least he's temporarily saved by the arrival of his sandwich, the waiter apologizing for the delay. It's Chuuya's turn to push his plate closer to Dazai, offering it to him first.]
If you take two bites, I get another bite of that cake.
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For once in his life, Dazai truly is blissfully ignorant of what's happening. Then again, when he's supposedly-unaware to this degree, so very uncharacteristically, can we really be sure that he's not blocking out all the relevant information in a desperate attempt at denial?]
I never said I wanted two bites!
[He protests dramatically as he takes his one allowed bite... which definitely won't be the only one now, because he knows a challenge when he sees it.]
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[He knows Dazai didn't drop it. But maybe he'll feel less awkward after some food and coffee. He takes a moment to drink from his own, the warm steam against his face waking him up a little. It will be a while before it actually kicks in, but that first moment always feels good. He relaxes a little.
And takes a second to look around the area. It's a quiet street compared to Yokohama, but most likely it would be considered busy here. It's a completely different feeling from the city.]
Besides, shouldn't we figure out what we're doing today first? Do we wanna stay here or keep driving?
[Admitting he never had a plan at all.]
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[Dazai is having three bites, then. Done deal. 👍]
We've driven quite a long while already...
[Listen, your bike may be relatively comfortable, but Dazai doesn't have enough of a butt to cushion all that sitting. Clearly you need to get him one of those sidecars and just make it an oversized bedcave so he can lie around in there.]
How about we spend the morning here, and see about more driving in the afternoon?
[What do you mean, sleep is something normal people need to catch up on? They're not normal people anyway, this is fine. And if either of them need to return to Yokohama for some emergency, this will buy them a little time for their respective coworkers to freak out and contact them.
Dazai is also simply accepting that this may turn into a multi-day trip, because at this point, that makes more sense than anything.]
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Yeah, sounds good. We can figure out if there's anything to do here.
[What do people even do in small towns? But it's not like either of them packed for travel, even just an overnight trip, so if they decide to move on they should at least make sure they have what they need.
His sandwich is good - not as good as the cake, but good - and he's realizing now just how hungry he was. That usually happens. He gets busy with work, and forgets to eat until he has food in front of him, usually because someone has it brought to his office. He can't remember the last time he sat down just to enjoy breakfast like this, with no responsibilities or obligations.
Or at least, none that he hasn't decided to pretend don't exist. He's stubbornly ignoring that source of guilt.]
Maybe there's a park or something. [Is that what normal people do???] Or we check out any local stores.
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Well, if it's really too much work, maybe Dazai won't bother trying to steal anything and dealing with the resulting mess. He can save that for another meal when such agreements haven't yet been made, and so Chuuya clearly can't have a problem with it. Dazai is still more interested in getting answers, here.
Then again, an all-expenses-paid mini-vacation isn't bad, regardless of details!
Dazai has some doubts about being in public like this, partly because it's not Yokohama and partly in spite of that, but it's probably only a minor risk, and regardless, even if feces were to hit the proverbial fan, it's nothing they can't handle. Something to be aware of all the same.]
Stores, then. [Dazai would enjoy a park, but if they're going to do more driving and hence sitting later, he might eventually die of boredom, and that is definitely the most painful way of committing suicide he has yet discovered. Big X, not allowed.] Maybe we'll finally find Chuuya a decent hat!
[Nahhhh he's joking. But clothes are a safe bet, and Dazai would also be rather fond of any dumb touristy shops. The blatant absurdity is quite refreshing!]
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Except Dazai doesn't seem to be stealing more food than he's owed. It's almost a bit disappointing, not getting the distraction of a game, a squabble neither of them mean, a challenge he knows he's going to lose. Even though it's... actually really nice to just have breakfast together, away from everything. It's something almost too normal for them.
It's definitely risky, too.]
There's no way I'm wearing anything you pick out. But I can find some clothes for you.
[He's the one with taste here, right? Clearly he should be in charge of shopping. Though he won't mind going into whatever silly shops Dazai wants to, either.]
I can think of a few ways to make you look half-decent.
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I already look more than decent, Chuuya.
[Not that he'd especially mind getting an outfit based on Chuuya's recommendations, but he doesn't really want to give in so easily, especially when he's already given up on his part of that sandwich that he didn't want in the first place. (He is being nice here! Kind of! For him!!)]
If you want to dress me, you should let me dress you too. It's only fair.
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Says who?
[And maybe it's fun to be a bit difficult sometimes. Dazai can't always get what he wants, after all, even if Chuuya does end up considering that offer. Is it worth getting to dress Dazai if Dazai is also going to dress him? Because that definitely comes with a whole lot of risks. There's a pause as he drinks more coffee.]
As long as you don't treat it like a joke.
[Don't make him regret it
too much](no subject)
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