[A blushing Chuuya is a good Chuuya. Dazai makes sure not to be too obvious about how he's taking in the sights. He doesn't really care if Chuuya is blushing because of him or because of the wine, anyway; it's a good look, and it belongs only to him right now. Clearly that is the important thing.]
Are you saying I should punish you in ways you won't enjoy?
[Because he can do that, of course. He's something of an expert, as it happens. But it's definitely a case of being careful what you wish for!
Not that Dazai really thinks that that's what Chuuya wants, but he can pretend.]
[It's definitely not what he meant. Chuuya shoots Dazai a look, because he knows that he knows. Just because Chuuya doesn't directly say what he means...]
Obviously not.
[That doesn't sound fun for either of them, really. Sure, there's a long list of things Chuuya sort of enjoys, or hates that he enjoys, or enjoys because he doesn't want to enjoy them, or that he wouldn't enjoy except that it's the right kind of humiliation and he enjoys that. But Dazai has always considered all of those fair game, so it's definitely not what he's getting at now.]
I thought I said I was the one who should punish you.
[The point of this was to actually discuss what they like, which would mean Chuuya has to be honest about it... Oh well.]
If you really wanted to, I probably couldn't stop you.
[But Chuuya doesn't like that, does he? ... Or does he? Nah, that would surprise Dazai a great deal.
Also: Dazai is a wuss, and definitely couldn't withstand Chuuya's full-on punishment. But he really doesn't think that Chuuya is being honest here? And he doesn't think he's somehow in denial about what Chuuya wants from him, either??
Though blindsiding him with something like this would have been a good reason for Chuuya to bring up kink lists, Dazai supposes... Damn.]
[Chuuya looks a bit surprised at that statement. Not because it's not true - of course it is, Chuuya is by far the strongest of the two of them - but because it's completely irrelevant. Of course he doesn't want that.]
I'll stick to biting. Even if I risk getting punished by you for it.
[Okay, maybe he should be honest. He drinks a bit more of his wine, and leans a little bit more of his weight into Dazai. Honesty really is too awkward.]
Nothing actually serious, right? It's just something else to use in your games?
[Which is probably a bit too cryptic a reply to be very satisfying, considering the circumstances, but honesty is too awkward. They've been making good strides with it, but Dazai, being a lazy bastard by nature, is already not in the mood to keep putting in the effort.
That doesn't mean he won't, though, and it certainly doesn't mean he's not in a surprisingly good mood. In fact, as Chuuya leans in closer, Dazai shifts a little so he can halfway put his arm around him, hand resting on his head.
Okay, so maybe one of his several simultaneous inner monologues is loudly singing YOU'RE A SHORT MOTHERFUCKER AND NOBODY LIKES YOU~ - but it's singing it lovingly, okay!? You're his short motherfucker nobody likes, and that's what matters.]
["Nothing actually serious" isn't very descriptive either, so Chuuya really has no room to complain about Dazai being cryptic. Besides, he's not worried about it. It's not like they're trying to fully establish all boundaries and desires right now - that would be boring and limiting - so they can always clarify when it becomes relevant. And he trusts Dazai.
He drops his head against Dazai's shoulder, enjoying that hand against his hair. Dazai's not the only one in a surprisingly good mood now. Chuuya is relaxed enough to be smiling, just a little.]
This really just ended up as me giving you more options...
[That's probably not how kink negotiations are supposed to go. Oh well.]
[He's not even being smug about it, for once. What else was this discussion going to be about, if not more things to try? The things they've already done, Chuuya has all enjoyed to some degree; Dazai has no doubt about that. So expanding their repertoire was really the only possible outcome.
But let's blame Chuuya for giving him more options, sure. Give a dog a bone(r), and all that. Dazai's fingers play lazily with Chuuya's hair.]
[The more Dazai plays with his hair, the more Chuuya just melts into him. It really has become too much of a weakness. It feels nice, though, and Dazai seems to enjoy doing it, so he can't actually think of any reason why he shouldn't allow it to happen. Sometimes he still worries about it. But not right now.]
Yeah, but now you know I've been holding back on you.
[Because most of the things they're talking about now wouldn't have been possible before. Hell, that's true for a lot of what they've been doing recently anyway. Chuuya would never have agreed to those scenes a year - or even just a few months ago. Even if Dazai had tricked him somehow, he wouldn't have allowed himself to let go to the point that he has been, and it would have turned out differently, and probably not as satisfying.
But they've also both had their reasons for not wanting to go too far in the past. Dazai would have held back, too, he knows.]
[Things have certainly changed - and yet, have they really? For all that their current relationship might not have been possible even a few months ago, it feels like such a natural evolution of things that Dazai can't seem to find it at all surprising.
Or maybe it's just that the fact that it's not surprising in itself is the most surprising thing, so the actual details don't seem to matter as much in comparison. Either way: Dazai is not complaining.]
It's really true what they say! Short waters run deep.
[... Listen, he only teases you because he maybe-sorta-kinda loves you. And he's still playing with your hair, so you shouldn't even care!
(It's possible that the hair-playing was a set-up to mollify Chuuya in advance of the next bad joke, really. But that doesn't mean that Dazai isn't secretly enjoying it, too!)]
[It does feel like this is how they were meant to be from the start. Maybe they weren't able to figure it out back then, when they were younger, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. Maybe they just finally got enough experience points to level up, or some other bullshit. It doesn't matter. The last thing Chuuya wants to do is think too deeply about it.
He shoots Dazai a glare. If it wasn't for the wine glass in his hand... and the hair petting... and how relaxed and good he's feeling in general... and the fact that he doesn't actually want to start a fight... If not for absolutely everything, he'd definitely be elbowing Dazai hard.]
Maybe I should take back those new powers again.
[Because that's what it is. It's not just a longer list of options; he's agreed to submit in more ways. And his threat really isn't very believable, but he has to threaten something, because Dazai can't just be allowed to get away with things.]
No take-backsies! Besides, being a maid is a lifestyle, too?
[Alright, so Dazai isn't actually going to send Chuuya to the mafia in a maid dress... but he still gets a kick out of imagining it. Practically nobody could say anything anyway, and Mori would probably pretend not to notice anything off, just to prolong Chuuya's suffering. The only one who might ruin the fun is Kouyou, but Dazai could work around that.
Well, he doesn't plan to do it, really. But he can keep his brain entertained with it for a few minutes, anyway! Between that, and hanging around with Chuuya doing nothing, and a nice drink, he's actually having a good time.]
[It's really difficult to stay annoyed - or pretend to be annoyed - when Dazai is in such an obviously good mood. It still feels like a rare and important thing, even though it's a lot less rare now than when they were in the mafia together. And it makes Chuuya happy, too. It's weird. It's a warm feeling. Especially if he allows himself to think about the fact Dazai's mood improved just from being here with him.
He sips from his wine, drinking it slowly, just letting it add to the moment.]
See? That right there, that's why I can't just agree. You wouldn't just fuck me in the outfit, you'd make me play the part.
[He can still keep up the pretend argument, just for the sake of it, even though his body is completely relaxed against Dazai.]
I'm not gonna wait on you or iron your shirts or call you Master.
Hmm... Alright, then. I won't make you iron my shirts!
[No promises about the other things, though~! Hehe...
Oh no, now Dazai is considering the many, many options of what a maid!Chuuya could do... This is what happens, Chuuya: every time you deny him, he gets more ideas! When it finally, inevitably happens, it's going to be so much worse than it would have been if you'd given in the first time!!]
So you'll definitely try to make me wait on you --
[Wait. He knows what that tone means.]
Shit. You're thinking of even worse things now.
[Which wouldn't be a problem if it was never going to happen, but they both know it's inevitable, one way or another. He really shouldn't have brought it up again. He should just ignore the topic completely to avoid encouraging him...]
[Pout, pout, pout! To be fair, even Dazai himself isn't quite sure what the next level in his evil maid-ification plans will be - but that's clearly beside the point!]
Besides, I thought we were doing this to find new things to do?
[That pouting definitely doesn't work on him! Mostly! He knows it's not serious, but the point of this was for Chuuya to be a little more honest, so Dazai isn't wrong with his blackmail either. He sips some wine to avoid meeting Dazai's eyes.]
Can we even call it new when you've been trying to make me wear it since we were sixteen?
[But that clearly doesn't affect all the new side quests for that particular kink that Dazai is now envisioning! He is a creative genius, how dare you ever think otherwise...]
Ah, but who could have imagined that Chuuya is into neglect play from the other side of things, too?
[He has the balls to make it sound somewhere between tragic and wistful. Because of course he does.]
I was never into that at all! That was always just you!
[Though denying Dazai can definitely be fun. It's not because he gets off on it, though, but who wouldn't enjoy turning the tables on Dazai every once in a while? Even if it always backfires. It's satisfying to get a reaction like this out of him either way.]
Besides, you'd get bored if you just always got everything you wanted.
[He does, of course, in a practical sense - and that can, indeed, bore him - but he can still ask the question very genuinely, in an existential sort of way. It feels valid to, even! There is more to life than moving all the pieces on the chess board without ever being able to move yourself, supposedly.
It's certainly a valid question, Dazai thinks, but he also knows that Chuuya is going to put more emotional weight on it than Dazai, and that really isn't the mood he was going for.]
Well... I did get you.
[Somebody punch him, he's being genuinely romantic. Sort of, in his own way.]
[Dazai is right - Chuuya is definitely about to say something to that. Because if they're talking existentially, he does want Dazai to get what he wants, and while he knows he can't actually fix it for him, he can't just ignore it, either. Even if he's not sure what the right thing to say actually is.
And Dazai's correction of himself cuts him off completely. He's left completely dumbfounded, staring at Dazai, not blinking or moving for several seconds. Dazai is making him sound almost too important... And he didn't even do anything to earn it. That's not something he's equipped to handle.
It takes him another moment to realize Dazai did it specifically to cut him off, too. He has no excuse for that delay. But he doesn't think the words were completely fake, either, so the realization doesn't actually change anything. Chuuya can feel his pulse beating a little too fast, his cheeks heating up, and he has to force himself to look away to be able to gather any actual thoughts.]
Bastard.
[How dare Dazai say something to actually make him happy?? What's he even supposed to do with that feeling??]
[WOW don't ask Dazai what to do with a feeling?! How is he supposed to know???
Anyway, while he definitely said what he said to prevent awkward discussions, he wasn't lying, so Chuuya has no right to complain. Then again, technically Chuuya has no right to look so adorable while blushing stupidly, either - but he sure does! Thankfully it's not on purpose, so Dazai gets to chuckle a little.]
What kind of reaction is that?
[Surely you're supposed to say something like: "I love you, too!!" That's what normal people do, right?!
... Yeah, no, Dazai much prefers things this way, actually.]
[Dazai's chuckle just makes Chuuya's blush worse. He's not sure whether he wants to cover Dazai's eyes with his hand to make him stop looking at him like that, or cover his mouth so he actually will shut up, because telling him to never works. Chuuya knows Dazai isn't lying. His pulse wouldn't be doing all this if he thought Dazai was lying.
But Chuuya can't just do nothing in response, either. He glances at Dazai again, and then moves, turns on the couch so he's facing him, pushing up on his knees. There's really only one thing he wants to do. That he's wanted to do this entire evening.
The kiss is a little too firm to start with, but he'll ease up once his heart stops trying to beat its way out of his chest.]
[Dazai should have probably seen that coming, but he didn't, even though he didn't not expect it, either. So let's just call it a part of his plan and wallow in the satisfaction of his inevitable success.
It's hard to react when Chuuya starts off too strong, but soon Dazai can relax into it, turning towards Chuuya just a bit for better access - for both of them, of course. He puts a hand on Chuuya's waist, pushing him a little. It might almost be accidental - he definitely can't physically force Chuuya, after all - and, if Chuuya should ignore it, "accidental" is definitely what it was. But, really, Dazai wants to encourage Chuuya to sit in his lap for better kissing.
[Chuuya is used to Dazai patting his hip or his ass to make him move, even if it's usually during sex, to make him spread his legs, present himself, give Dazai the view and access that he wants. It's pretty much automatic by now, which is why Chuuya moves this time, too, sitting down in Dazai's lap without even thinking about it. But it does make things more convenient.
He slides one arm around Dazai's neck and relaxes fully into the kiss, a pleased little sound escaping him. He's a huge fan of kissing like this. He really wishes they did it more, even outside of sex.
He also did successfully shut Dazai up - and himself, before he said something even more embarrassing - but he probably shouldn't point that out. Not yet, at least. Not for as long as Dazai wants to keep this up.]
[Oh, Chuuya... You can hit the pause button on Dazai's mouth, but you will never be able to turn it off. It's fine, though: as long as Dazai can entertain his mouth some other way, he will happily let you pretend otherwise for a bit.
And that is exactly what he does. Letting Chuuya have the height advantage is not something Dazai wants to do too often, but it's awfully convenient here and now. For one thing: it puts them at as equal a height as they're likely to get. For another: it's a good excuse for Dazai to let Chuuya have the advantage, and hence the initiative. Dazai gets to be lazy! ... Well, he will massage Chuuya's butt a bit, because it's right next to his hands and it's nice to touch. Apart from that, though, he only focuses on his tongue, entering deep into Chuuya's mouth to dance with his.
How's that for a tongue twister~? (Chibi Chuuya charitably choked on -... Okay, let's just keep the tongue twisting literal.)]
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Are you saying I should punish you in ways you won't enjoy?
[Because he can do that, of course. He's something of an expert, as it happens. But it's definitely a case of being careful what you wish for!
Not that Dazai really thinks that that's what Chuuya wants, but he can pretend.]
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Obviously not.
[That doesn't sound fun for either of them, really. Sure, there's a long list of things Chuuya sort of enjoys, or hates that he enjoys, or enjoys because he doesn't want to enjoy them, or that he wouldn't enjoy except that it's the right kind of humiliation and he enjoys that. But Dazai has always considered all of those fair game, so it's definitely not what he's getting at now.]
I thought I said I was the one who should punish you.
[The point of this was to actually discuss what they like, which would mean Chuuya has to be honest about it... Oh well.]
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[But Chuuya doesn't like that, does he? ... Or does he? Nah, that would surprise Dazai a great deal.
Also: Dazai is a wuss, and definitely couldn't withstand Chuuya's full-on punishment. But he really doesn't think that Chuuya is being honest here? And he doesn't think he's somehow in denial about what Chuuya wants from him, either??
Though blindsiding him with something like this would have been a good reason for Chuuya to bring up kink lists, Dazai supposes... Damn.]
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I'll stick to biting. Even if I risk getting punished by you for it.
[Okay, maybe he should be honest. He drinks a bit more of his wine, and leans a little bit more of his weight into Dazai. Honesty really is too awkward.]
Nothing actually serious, right? It's just something else to use in your games?
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[Which is probably a bit too cryptic a reply to be very satisfying, considering the circumstances, but honesty is too awkward. They've been making good strides with it, but Dazai, being a lazy bastard by nature, is already not in the mood to keep putting in the effort.
That doesn't mean he won't, though, and it certainly doesn't mean he's not in a surprisingly good mood. In fact, as Chuuya leans in closer, Dazai shifts a little so he can halfway put his arm around him, hand resting on his head.
Okay, so maybe one of his several simultaneous inner monologues is loudly singing YOU'RE A SHORT MOTHERFUCKER AND NOBODY LIKES YOU~ - but it's singing it lovingly, okay!? You're his short motherfucker nobody likes, and that's what matters.]
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He drops his head against Dazai's shoulder, enjoying that hand against his hair. Dazai's not the only one in a surprisingly good mood now. Chuuya is relaxed enough to be smiling, just a little.]
This really just ended up as me giving you more options...
[That's probably not how kink negotiations are supposed to go. Oh well.]
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That was always going to happen.
[He's not even being smug about it, for once. What else was this discussion going to be about, if not more things to try? The things they've already done, Chuuya has all enjoyed to some degree; Dazai has no doubt about that. So expanding their repertoire was really the only possible outcome.
But let's blame Chuuya for giving him more options, sure. Give a dog a bone(r), and all that. Dazai's fingers play lazily with Chuuya's hair.]
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Yeah, but now you know I've been holding back on you.
[Because most of the things they're talking about now wouldn't have been possible before. Hell, that's true for a lot of what they've been doing recently anyway. Chuuya would never have agreed to those scenes a year - or even just a few months ago. Even if Dazai had tricked him somehow, he wouldn't have allowed himself to let go to the point that he has been, and it would have turned out differently, and probably not as satisfying.
But they've also both had their reasons for not wanting to go too far in the past. Dazai would have held back, too, he knows.]
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Or maybe it's just that the fact that it's not surprising in itself is the most surprising thing, so the actual details don't seem to matter as much in comparison. Either way: Dazai is not complaining.]
It's really true what they say! Short waters run deep.
[... Listen, he only teases you because he maybe-sorta-kinda loves you. And he's still playing with your hair, so you shouldn't even care!
(It's possible that the hair-playing was a set-up to mollify Chuuya in advance of the next bad joke, really. But that doesn't mean that Dazai isn't secretly enjoying it, too!)]
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He shoots Dazai a glare. If it wasn't for the wine glass in his hand... and the hair petting... and how relaxed and good he's feeling in general... and the fact that he doesn't actually want to start a fight... If not for absolutely everything, he'd definitely be elbowing Dazai hard.]
Maybe I should take back those new powers again.
[Because that's what it is. It's not just a longer list of options; he's agreed to submit in more ways. And his threat really isn't very believable, but he has to threaten something, because Dazai can't just be allowed to get away with things.]
Now I definitely won't agree to any outfits.
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[Alright, so Dazai isn't actually going to send Chuuya to the mafia in a maid dress... but he still gets a kick out of imagining it. Practically nobody could say anything anyway, and Mori would probably pretend not to notice anything off, just to prolong Chuuya's suffering. The only one who might ruin the fun is Kouyou, but Dazai could work around that.
Well, he doesn't plan to do it, really. But he can keep his brain entertained with it for a few minutes, anyway! Between that, and hanging around with Chuuya doing nothing, and a nice drink, he's actually having a good time.]
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He sips from his wine, drinking it slowly, just letting it add to the moment.]
See? That right there, that's why I can't just agree. You wouldn't just fuck me in the outfit, you'd make me play the part.
[He can still keep up the pretend argument, just for the sake of it, even though his body is completely relaxed against Dazai.]
I'm not gonna wait on you or iron your shirts or call you Master.
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[No promises about the other things, though~! Hehe...
Oh no, now Dazai is considering the many, many options of what a maid!Chuuya could do... This is what happens, Chuuya: every time you deny him, he gets more ideas! When it finally, inevitably happens, it's going to be so much worse than it would have been if you'd given in the first time!!]
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[Wait. He knows what that tone means.]
Shit. You're thinking of even worse things now.
[Which wouldn't be a problem if it was never going to happen, but they both know it's inevitable, one way or another. He really shouldn't have brought it up again. He should just ignore the topic completely to avoid encouraging him...]
Stop that! I'm not agreeing!
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[Pout, pout, pout! To be fair, even Dazai himself isn't quite sure what the next level in his evil maid-ification plans will be - but that's clearly beside the point!]
Besides, I thought we were doing this to find new things to do?
[Emotional blackmail? Maybe a little...]
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[That pouting definitely doesn't work on him! Mostly! He knows it's not serious, but the point of this was for Chuuya to be a little more honest, so Dazai isn't wrong with his blackmail either. He sips some wine to avoid meeting Dazai's eyes.]
Can we even call it new when you've been trying to make me wear it since we were sixteen?
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[But that clearly doesn't affect all the new side quests for that particular kink that Dazai is now envisioning! He is a creative genius, how dare you ever think otherwise...]
Ah, but who could have imagined that Chuuya is into neglect play from the other side of things, too?
[He has the balls to make it sound somewhere between tragic and wistful. Because of course he does.]
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[Though denying Dazai can definitely be fun. It's not because he gets off on it, though, but who wouldn't enjoy turning the tables on Dazai every once in a while? Even if it always backfires. It's satisfying to get a reaction like this out of him either way.]
Besides, you'd get bored if you just always got everything you wanted.
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[He does, of course, in a practical sense - and that can, indeed, bore him - but he can still ask the question very genuinely, in an existential sort of way. It feels valid to, even! There is more to life than moving all the pieces on the chess board without ever being able to move yourself, supposedly.
It's certainly a valid question, Dazai thinks, but he also knows that Chuuya is going to put more emotional weight on it than Dazai, and that really isn't the mood he was going for.]
Well... I did get you.
[Somebody punch him, he's being genuinely romantic. Sort of, in his own way.]
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And Dazai's correction of himself cuts him off completely. He's left completely dumbfounded, staring at Dazai, not blinking or moving for several seconds. Dazai is making him sound almost too important... And he didn't even do anything to earn it. That's not something he's equipped to handle.
It takes him another moment to realize Dazai did it specifically to cut him off, too. He has no excuse for that delay. But he doesn't think the words were completely fake, either, so the realization doesn't actually change anything. Chuuya can feel his pulse beating a little too fast, his cheeks heating up, and he has to force himself to look away to be able to gather any actual thoughts.]
Bastard.
[How dare Dazai say something to actually make him happy?? What's he even supposed to do with that feeling??]
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Anyway, while he definitely said what he said to prevent awkward discussions, he wasn't lying, so Chuuya has no right to complain. Then again, technically Chuuya has no right to look so adorable while blushing stupidly, either - but he sure does! Thankfully it's not on purpose, so Dazai gets to chuckle a little.]
What kind of reaction is that?
[Surely you're supposed to say something like: "I love you, too!!" That's what normal people do, right?!
... Yeah, no, Dazai much prefers things this way, actually.]
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[Dazai's chuckle just makes Chuuya's blush worse. He's not sure whether he wants to cover Dazai's eyes with his hand to make him stop looking at him like that, or cover his mouth so he actually will shut up, because telling him to never works. Chuuya knows Dazai isn't lying. His pulse wouldn't be doing all this if he thought Dazai was lying.
But Chuuya can't just do nothing in response, either. He glances at Dazai again, and then moves, turns on the couch so he's facing him, pushing up on his knees. There's really only one thing he wants to do. That he's wanted to do this entire evening.
The kiss is a little too firm to start with, but he'll ease up once his heart stops trying to beat its way out of his chest.]
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It's hard to react when Chuuya starts off too strong, but soon Dazai can relax into it, turning towards Chuuya just a bit for better access - for both of them, of course. He puts a hand on Chuuya's waist, pushing him a little. It might almost be accidental - he definitely can't physically force Chuuya, after all - and, if Chuuya should ignore it, "accidental" is definitely what it was. But, really, Dazai wants to encourage Chuuya to sit in his lap for better kissing.
Do it, Chuuya! You'll get to feel tall~!]
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He slides one arm around Dazai's neck and relaxes fully into the kiss, a pleased little sound escaping him. He's a huge fan of kissing like this. He really wishes they did it more, even outside of sex.
He also did successfully shut Dazai up - and himself, before he said something even more embarrassing - but he probably shouldn't point that out. Not yet, at least. Not for as long as Dazai wants to keep this up.]
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And that is exactly what he does. Letting Chuuya have the height advantage is not something Dazai wants to do too often, but it's awfully convenient here and now. For one thing: it puts them at as equal a height as they're likely to get. For another: it's a good excuse for Dazai to let Chuuya have the advantage, and hence the initiative. Dazai gets to be lazy! ... Well, he will massage Chuuya's butt a bit, because it's right next to his hands and it's nice to touch. Apart from that, though, he only focuses on his tongue, entering deep into Chuuya's mouth to dance with his.
How's that for a tongue twister~? (Chibi Chuuya charitably choked on -... Okay, let's just keep the tongue twisting literal.)]
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