[Chuuya isn't even sure how he ended up having this kind of conversation with a stranger. He'd just wanted to grab a drink after a too long day, something to help him wind down before going home to sleep. Work had left him tired and a bit grumpy, since he'd been up caught up in unplanned meetings due to other people's mistakes, and he hadn't wanted to stay that late for once. He'd kinda been hoping he'd be able to meet up with Dazai for dinner.
He's still not used to allowing himself to admit how much he wants that.
But that hadn't happened, he's here instead, and then some guy had tried to hit on him, and hadn't taken no for an answer. And things had just... derailed, turned into a conversation that has Chuuya too embarrassed, ordering himself another drink. But Chuuya had accidentally said he had a partner just to get this guy to back off, and apparently, when someone says "what he doesn't know won't hurt him," answering that the bastard always knows makes it sound like you don't actually like your partner. And now Chuuya is stuck trying to explain himself.]
He's just a... he's a bastard! That's got nothing to do with anything! Especially not how I -- I feel.
[He's too drunk already. That's what he gets for missing dinner. He's gesturing with his hands as though that'll help convey his (lack of) thoughts, gratefully accepting his new drink from the bartender and taking a long sip from it.]
Not like I even promised him anything. Doesn't matter. Don't want anyone else, so fuck off. He knows what I want. He's better.
[And that's when the conversation really goes south. Because this complete stranger just outright says "sounds like you really love him," as though love isn't something that feels more illegal to him than murder. Chuuya nearly spits out his drink.]
No! That doesn't work for us! I don't know, maybe. Yeah. I don't know! [How does he escape this conversation?] Shut up. It's not good enough. Definitely not something that half-hearted.
[At least now the stranger is starting to look like he wants out of the conversation, too.]
no subject
He's still not used to allowing himself to admit how much he wants that.
But that hadn't happened, he's here instead, and then some guy had tried to hit on him, and hadn't taken no for an answer. And things had just... derailed, turned into a conversation that has Chuuya too embarrassed, ordering himself another drink. But Chuuya had accidentally said he had a partner just to get this guy to back off, and apparently, when someone says "what he doesn't know won't hurt him," answering that the bastard always knows makes it sound like you don't actually like your partner. And now Chuuya is stuck trying to explain himself.]
He's just a... he's a bastard! That's got nothing to do with anything! Especially not how I -- I feel.
[He's too drunk already. That's what he gets for missing dinner. He's gesturing with his hands as though that'll help convey his (lack of) thoughts, gratefully accepting his new drink from the bartender and taking a long sip from it.]
Not like I even promised him anything. Doesn't matter. Don't want anyone else, so fuck off. He knows what I want. He's better.
[And that's when the conversation really goes south. Because this complete stranger just outright says "sounds like you really love him," as though love isn't something that feels more illegal to him than murder. Chuuya nearly spits out his drink.]
No! That doesn't work for us! I don't know, maybe. Yeah. I don't know! [How does he escape this conversation?] Shut up. It's not good enough. Definitely not something that half-hearted.
[At least now the stranger is starting to look like he wants out of the conversation, too.]