[... Welp, time to reroute whatever he ordered, and send Chuu something embarrassing instead. Or maybe he saw this coming and that's why he hit up Bad Dragon or something.]
[Probably could, if he really tried. But only because Dazai doesn't care enough to stop him.
OK but what if Dazai just sends a package with something really dumb and mundane to get Chuuya wondering what the hell he's up to, while Dazai intercepts the real package and/or makes sure that arrives later?
Just a random package with, like. A single sock. A jar of jam. And one of those things to scrape ice off car windows.]
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and whatever you ordered two days ago, i’m making sure it gets delivered here instead
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usually
[... Welp, time to reroute whatever he ordered, and send Chuu something embarrassing instead. Or maybe he saw this coming and that's why he hit up Bad Dragon or something.]
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and i'm more than rich enough to afford it, but i don't like letting you have things for free
[if it's a sex toy dazai has to use it on him, that's the rule]
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[... Bullying counts as "something", right? Chuuya gets off on it, so.
That rule is acceptable, even though Dazai would enjoy video evidence too.]
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[Even if he does get off on it, but that's irrelevant here.]
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if anything i'm doing you a favor
it's hard for me too you know!
[Ah yes, the hard life of being a dick. Pity him!]
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how strange! it usually seems to work. could it be that chuuya is growing up???
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like being a dick to you
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[Well...
I mean.
If you squint -...
... Let's not squint.]
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[he's squinting]
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only chuuya could believe something like that
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if you want the same thing you're neglecting yourself, too
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neither of us wants you being a dick to me, though
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fine i guess i'll let you come fuck me
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[Wait why is he agreeing!?]
i suppose i can add something to my order, then
[As compensation? For sexytimes? Just to be a dick?? Probably all of the above, but he'll finetune that plan later.]
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what are you buying?
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[Actually he doesn't know yet. But that means that his above statement is absolutely real and genuine!]
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[he knows he can't, and he doesn't even want to really, but still]
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[Probably could, if he really tried. But only because Dazai doesn't care enough to stop him.
OK but what if Dazai just sends a package with something really dumb and mundane to get Chuuya wondering what the hell he's up to, while Dazai intercepts the real package and/or makes sure that arrives later?
Just a random package with, like. A single sock. A jar of jam. And one of those things to scrape ice off car windows.]
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if i get my hands on it first, you have to obey one order from me
[it's his credit card, he should be able to reroute it before dazai can, right? or intercept it somehow?
if dazai manages to distract chuuya with a fake package he's gonna be so mad]
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