indensity | just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

[cw: torture.]

[Chuuya keeps glancing over at Dazai. He can see him through a glass window, some distance away, looking down at him. It's difficult to make out his expression from here. It's difficult to focus on him, but he has to make sure Dazai is still there, that they're not trying to trick him somehow. He can't even tell what's going on with him. If he's okay.

And his attention is drawn away again a split second later. A white hot rod is shoved against his side, burning his skin, making him scream and scream. He'd tried not to, at first. Not because he didn't want to give them the satisfaction - he's been tortured before, he knew it was inevitable - but because Dazai is there, and he doesn't want him to see, doesn't want him to know. But he's far beyond that point now. He has a broken arm, several broken ribs, they've punched him enough, he's bleeding badly in several places, and now they're getting creative. They're having fun. And Chuuya is just taking it, holding himself still for them as they come up with something new. When they pull the rod away again, when he's able to breathe and think, at least for a second, he wonders if they might be stopping his bleeding with this new method. They can cause him pain and keep him alive longer, all with one technique.

He's trying to keep his mind going as a distraction against the pain. It's really not working.

He's on his back on the floor, naked, breathing hard as they allow him a few seconds' break. They probably don't want him passing out, and he's relieved, because he needs to be ready. There are tears of pain in his eyes as he looks up at Dazai again, making sure he's there, and looking for a sign, any sign. He can't act until Dazai lets him know it's time. Dazai will figure something out, he always does, but --

Chuuya really hopes it's soon.

But even if it's not, he'll stay right where he is and take it. Because he can't risk them following through on their threat to kill Dazai if he doesn't cooperate. And there's no way Chuuya would reach him in time to save him from here.]

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[Dazai knows he can't let on that he's as agitated as he is. He's practiced in schooling his emotions, in priding himself on not having them, but watching this- No, it's not because he's seeing what's happening to Chuuya. He's angry that he's been tricked, that he can't immediately plot his way out of this. He will, because he always does, but the fact that he doesn't have an automatic answer to the problem is the thing that's really bothering him.

...is what he wants to believe. This is nothing; Dazai knows that Chuuya has been tortured before, they've both endured awful things, but this is the first time Dazai has been forced to see it without a plan on how to make it stop. Actually, no--they could stop it easily, if Chuuya would let himself lose it, but for some reason the threat on Dazai's life seems to have worked, and that is yet another thing Dazai hates.

Why is Chuuya enduring it? Because he's stubborn? That's not it; even from here, behind the glass, Dazai can tell it hurts. There's none of the characteristic anger on Chuuya's face; there can't be, not when there's hardly time allowed for him to breathe before they're starting again. It's the muzzle of a gun pressed to the back of Dazai's head that stops Chuuya from doing what he does best, and honestly? He half wishes they'd just pull the damn trigger, so at least one of them would get out of this.

He's not going to look away, not while he tries to think of a solution where both of them don't end up dead. He keeps looking, because he's not a coward, because Chuuya is looking at him, and Dazai is the one responsible for coming up with the plan. He always is.

But things would be so much easier if Chuuya would just think of himself first, and Dazai wouldn't even blame him. If he could say that, if Chuuya could hear him, he knows what the response would be--vehement refusal. Maybe Chuuya wouldn't be able to get to him in time, but this is stupid; the stalemate, and the fact that Chuuya can be so easily collared, so to speak.

Stop being an idiot, Dazai wants to tell him.]

[It doesn't matter what Dazai is thinking. He can't tell Chuuya, and even if he did, Chuuya wouldn't listen. He wouldn't sacrifice Dazai like that. He hadn't even considered it - they're enemies, they hate each other, but when he'd been told those stakes he'd just accepted what was going to happen. He'll endure the torture even if it kills him in the end, because he's not risking Dazai's life.

He's also trusting Dazai to get him out of there. Another break, and he looks at him again. He hasn't moved.

And then they kick him onto his side so they can prod him in the back this time. They're definitely trying to cauterize the worst of the bleeding. Not that Chuuya cares about why at this point. He's screaming himself hoarse, body jerking as he instinctively tries to pull himself away from the pain. They stop, yell at him to stay still, and then do it again. He's incapable of staying still by now.

He's distracted, in pain, doesn't immediately look up at Dazai this time. He's exhausted. The people torturing him are bored again, move down, and this time they poke the sole of his foot with the rod. They laugh as he yells and jerks away, and then move away to reheat it.

It's a full minute more before he's able to lift his head and look up at Dazai again.]

[All the times Dazai has stabbed Chuuya in the back, screwed him over, none of them ever seem to matter, because Chuuya is still stupidly loyal to someone who turned their back on him, and that's infuriating. No, Dazai won't let him die, because that's pathetic--he's not going to be bested like this--and he doesn't plan on dying here, either. Though, if Chuuya had any sense of self-preservation at all, and would let go of that stupid partnership they had years ago-

Dazai's hands jerk where they're chained, almost imperceptible, but it's a crack in his stoicism and he knows it. He can hear Chuuya screaming, and it's- It's not something Dazai likes, even though he wants to tell himself he doesn't care. He knows Chuuya is better than this, stronger than this, and seeing him in such a state because of Dazai claws at the things Dazai refuses to admit to himself are there.

Even Chuuya can't withstand this. At the end of the day, he's human--yes, something Dazai has always firmly believed--and his body will break just the way anyone else's does. Dazai, not in the best of shape himself, knows it well enough. The reason Chuuya is strong is because of his Ability; without using it, he's just as vulnerable as anyone else.

He's waiting. There will be an opening, because there already is, but Dazai doesn't know if it will come soon enough. Chuuya is staying out of it for longer and longer; every second more it takes for him to look back at Dazai is dangerous.

An imperceptible shake of his head--not yet, not yet, but he hasn't given up, so Chuuya should hang in there. It's subtle enough to be a twitch, but Dazai knows Chuuya will notice.]

[Chuuya sees it. Of course he does. He's been looking for a signal from Dazai this whole time. It's not the signal he's been hoping for, but he accepts it, trusts that Dazai is working on something. His hand jerks, and it could be from pain, but Dazai will know better: He's saying he's fine, don't worry about him, he can take this. It's a lie, Chuuya thinks, he can't take this --

-- He has to take this. He has to, so he will.

That's always been his strength. He never really gives up. He keeps fighting, keeps pushing forwards, no matter what obstacles are thrown in front of him. But he does have his limits. His body can only take so much.

He wasn't prepared for having the soles of his feet burned would hurt. He feels like he shouldn't be able to feel any more pain, at this point. There's the stench of burning skin in the air, and it's horrifying to know that it's his own. He's bleeding again; They stabbed him again. He's feeling weak, like his body is made of nothing but pain, and he's not sure he'd be able to fight at this point even if he got a chance to try.

He hasn't looked up at Dazai for several minutes.]

[Somehow, Chuuya doesn't snap. Dazai doesn't get it and won't claim to; he doesn't get how their captors would have known Chuuya wouldn't use his ability against them, either. A gamble? Or maybe they're aware of his lingering sense of loyalty that Dazai just can't get him to shake, something he's been trying to sever just because of things like this. He wants to tell Chuuya that loyalty is a weakness--Dazai had never been loyal to anyone in the Mafia--but he knows Chuuya would vehemently disagree.

So Dazai keeps watching, pretending he's not gritting his teeth, because staying calm is important. He's always calm. There is nothing he can't handle. Chuuya is too much of an idiot to let this break him, stubborn and hardheaded as much as Dazai himself, though Dazai would never admit to having anything in common with him.

He can't wait much longer, though, and Dazai knows it. He'll wait as long as he can, but when Chuuya stops looking at him--a signal that tells Dazai he's still fine--gambles do have to be made. And Dazai has never cared of his own sense of well-being; perhaps his captors should have thought about that. He's going to wait until Chuuya looks up at him one last time--they have to coordinate--and then Dazai will heave his weight backwards, hoping to upset the chair he's in and take the gunman by surprise.

It might not work, and he might get shot, but that's fine. It's a calculated risk; if he does nothing, one (or both) of them will end up dead anyway. If he manages, then Chuuya will be able to fight without concern; if he doesn't, then the same thing will be true. Either way, Dazai hates being used as a pawn more than anything.]

[Chuuya is having a hard time staying conscious. The whole world feels out of focus, and if it wasn't for his ability he wouldn't even know which way was up or down. One of his captors kick him in the ribs to see if he's awake, and he grunts, landing on his back. But he's able to catch a glimpse of Dazai.

And when Dazai moves, Chuuya... tries. There are two captors in the room with him. The first is still close by, and Chuuya grabs his leg, focuses everything into pulling the man down with gravity. He falls to the floor, alive but unable to move, and even that took more strength than Chuuya really had left. And now the second captor knows that Chuuya is fighting them. He draws a gun and empties the clip into Chuuya... Or tries to.

Chuuya has managed to push himself up slightly, and then uses gravity to throw himself forward like a slingshot. A couple of the shots go wide as the man tries to jump back. Another graces Chuuya's arm, and one goes straight through his shoulder, a burst of pain that for a second makes him worry he just lost his whole damn arm. But he can't think about that now. He crashes into the man with the force of a car.

But that's all he has. Every bit of strength is gone. If that captor somehow isn't dead, if more of them come into the room, then Chuuya is in trouble. He can't move a limb. He's pretty sure he won't be able to stay conscious.]

[Dazai knows he waited too long. He knows Chuuya isn’t in good enough shape to fight, and he knows that he’ll need a weapon — Dazai doesn’t have enough brute strength like some people to fight his way through. The gun goes off, scratches past his cheek, but it’s not in the back of his head, so it’s fine. There’s a struggle, but Dazai manages to get his hands on the gun, and one efficient bullet ends the stalemate in the room. Add another tally to his rap sheet.

There’s gunfire from the room below, and with an irritated noise — not concerned, no — Dazai turns the gun towards the glass window. Another shot shatters it, and that’s three bullets down. He doesn’t have time to find the stairs; Dazai will toss himself over the sill of the broken window, ignoring the glass in his palm, and at least he’s practiced at landing on his feet.

One of them is dead. The other, Dazai takes care of. Four bullets. This is already a mess, and he’s pissed — that’s the only emotion in play, of course it is. And there’s Chuuya.

There’s blood; one of the bullets clearly hit him, even though Dazai hadn’t seen the fight. They need to get out of here, and he’s quick to kneel on the ground, not letting himself focus on the extent of Chuuya’s injuries. Getting away is the priority, and he’s not worried, because he never is. The only reason his heart is pounding is adrenaline. ]

Chuuya. Get up.

[He will, because he always gets up. Dazai is dragging off his coat, because there’s no way they’re going to be able to find Chuuya’s clothes before leaving, and he needs something to cover him. As soon as he gets up. But… god, he doesn’t look good.

It’s fine. They’re always fine. There’s no way something stupid like this would take Chuuya out. ]

[Dazai's voice makes Chuuya focus again. His voice sounds like relief, breaking through all the pain for a second, just for a second, and he focuses on only that. And to Chuuya's credit, he tries to listen. He's barely conscious, but he lifts his head to look at Dazai - he's never been so happy to see him - and tries his best to push himself to his feet. There's a groan that turns into a yell of pain before he collapses back down.

All that pain rushes back again.

He won't give up. He can't give up. It's never been in his vocabulary. He tries to use his ability to force himself upwards, but he barely has the strength to even reach for it. He's so close to just passing out. He wants to just pass out. He can't use his ability if he's passed out.]

So... sorry.

[It's an unnatural thing for them to say. But Chuuya can't get to his feet right now, and he has never allowed himself to be that weak.]

Trying.

[Dazai has seen Chuuya in various states of pain and injury, but he has to admit, this doesn't seem good. But there's no way Chuuya, of all people, would die just from this; it would be stupid, Dazai thinks, irritated that he's even in this position. He hates the way Chuuya focuses on him and makes an effort to look at Dazai instead of saving his energy, because they still have to get out of here. Which is going to be difficult when it's clear that Chuuya can't even get to his feet.]

Shut up. You're not sorry. [The words are harsh, but Dazai's voice isn't, for once. Hearing that from Chuuya isn't something he wants, so it would be better if he just didn't say anything at all.

They just need to get somewhere safe, contact help, and then Dazai will leave Chuuya to whatever is going to happen to him. This isn't his responsibility; they have no obligation to each other anymore. They're not partners; they're enemies.

So why the hell didn't Chuuya just let Dazai die? This is why he's pathetic. If it were Dazai in that position...

Well, he's sitting here, not abandoning Chuuya to save himself, so maybe that's irrelevant.]

You have to get up. Come on.

[Dazai could try to carry him, but if they run into trouble, they're both dead. But it doesn't seem like Chuuya can, even when he attempts to use his ability. Dazai can't remember ever seeing him like this, and he doesn't like it.]

[When Dazai tells him to, Chuuya groans, and tries again. He manages to push himself onto all fours before he has to stop and take a break, breathing hard, the pain making him dizzy. He's stronger than this, because he has to be. He's not a normal person. Not truly human. He can do this. He's been tortured before and he kept fighting then, and that time he'd been drugged on top of injured.

He grabs onto Dazai's pants, and manages, somehow (barely), to pull himself up so he's kneeling. One step closer. His shoulder is bleeding badly.]

I can do it. Go -- Go on ahead.

[He lets go again, and then points to the man Dazai just shot, specifically to his hip.]

Gun. Bullets.

[The other guy had used up all his bullets. Not that it had done him any good. But Dazai might need another weapon if he's going to have to do most of the fighting for once.]

[Dazai doesn't want to tell Chuuya to force himself, but they need to get out of here. And that's what they do; they push themselves despite being unable to, and somehow manage not to die. That's how it's always been, and Dazai knows Chuuya can do it, because he has to do it. He doesn't move away, doesn't shake Chuuya off when a hand grips his pants, but he does keep himself still, unwilling to bridge that short gap to reach out and touch, because Chuuya can do this on his own.

His shoulder looks bad, but it's nothing that can't be fixed. Dazai tells himself that in a clinical inner tone, turning to glance at the gun Chuuya motions to. Another look back at Chuuya to make sure he's not going to fall over, and Dazai moves the short distance away, crouching to take the gun, and to check for any other weapons that might be on him. A knife, though close-hand combat isn't ideal. He takes it anyway.

He's angry. Threatening his own life... that's one thing. Dazai has long balanced the line of life and death, and any little thing might be the one push that sends him over the edge towards one or the other. But to use him as leverage against someone else? He hates it. And seeing Chuuya just take it when he knows this about Dazai, that he's never cared for his own life, only irritates him more.]

I'm not going on ahead. If you're thinking of something stupid like dying here, then quit it.

[Dazai pockets the stolen weapons and turns to Chuuya.]

I didn't put up with you for years to see you die to something this pathetic.

I won't die from this.

[He might. He easily could. He feels too weak, and he hates it, because he's someone who's not allowed to be weak. He's always been the trump card, the one carrying the responsibility of power... Even now, it's an ingrained part of his identity.

He tries to get up, drawing a sharp breath as he tries to push to his feet... And immediately he's dropping back down, landing hard on his knees. He presses a hand to his bleeding shoulder, as hard as he can manage, and then tries again, legs shaking as he manages to get one underneath him, and then the other, slowly slowly rising up, body swaying for a moment before he finds his balance. He never has trouble finding his balance.

He's struggling to remain conscious enough to stand.]

Then lead the way.

[He thinks he can hear people moving, yelling. He's not sure. He's seeing black dots in front of his vision, and it's all he can focus on, but he takes a step forward anyway, towards Dazai.]

[They both know there's a possibility that Chuuya could die from this, but Dazai refuses to entertain that thought any longer than the second it takes to cross his mind. Chuuya won't die. He's too annoying to die. And as much as Dazai would like to say he's adamant about this because Chuuya really is a trump card--that's not entirely why. In fact, he's really not thinking about that at all right now, and it's not like Chuuya is strong enough to fight in the first place.

It's hard for him to even stand. Watching him feels like... it's a helpless feeling that Dazai dislikes.]

If you try to do something stupid, I'm stopping you.

[His voice isn't as harsh as it normally would be, and honestly, more of the irritation is addressed at himself rather than Chuuya. But they need to get out; Dazai can hear the voices and the movement, the direction they're coming from. He spots a door to the side, looks back to Chuuya stepping towards him, and reaches out.

You can hold onto me. It's a wordless agreement, an offer that Chuuya can take if he chooses. If he's not stubborn about it.]

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