indensity | just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

[cw: torture.]

[Chuuya keeps glancing over at Dazai. He can see him through a glass window, some distance away, looking down at him. It's difficult to make out his expression from here. It's difficult to focus on him, but he has to make sure Dazai is still there, that they're not trying to trick him somehow. He can't even tell what's going on with him. If he's okay.

And his attention is drawn away again a split second later. A white hot rod is shoved against his side, burning his skin, making him scream and scream. He'd tried not to, at first. Not because he didn't want to give them the satisfaction - he's been tortured before, he knew it was inevitable - but because Dazai is there, and he doesn't want him to see, doesn't want him to know. But he's far beyond that point now. He has a broken arm, several broken ribs, they've punched him enough, he's bleeding badly in several places, and now they're getting creative. They're having fun. And Chuuya is just taking it, holding himself still for them as they come up with something new. When they pull the rod away again, when he's able to breathe and think, at least for a second, he wonders if they might be stopping his bleeding with this new method. They can cause him pain and keep him alive longer, all with one technique.

He's trying to keep his mind going as a distraction against the pain. It's really not working.

He's on his back on the floor, naked, breathing hard as they allow him a few seconds' break. They probably don't want him passing out, and he's relieved, because he needs to be ready. There are tears of pain in his eyes as he looks up at Dazai again, making sure he's there, and looking for a sign, any sign. He can't act until Dazai lets him know it's time. Dazai will figure something out, he always does, but --

Chuuya really hopes it's soon.

But even if it's not, he'll stay right where he is and take it. Because he can't risk them following through on their threat to kill Dazai if he doesn't cooperate. And there's no way Chuuya would reach him in time to save him from here.]

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[Dazai knows he waited too long. He knows Chuuya isn’t in good enough shape to fight, and he knows that he’ll need a weapon — Dazai doesn’t have enough brute strength like some people to fight his way through. The gun goes off, scratches past his cheek, but it’s not in the back of his head, so it’s fine. There’s a struggle, but Dazai manages to get his hands on the gun, and one efficient bullet ends the stalemate in the room. Add another tally to his rap sheet.

There’s gunfire from the room below, and with an irritated noise — not concerned, no — Dazai turns the gun towards the glass window. Another shot shatters it, and that’s three bullets down. He doesn’t have time to find the stairs; Dazai will toss himself over the sill of the broken window, ignoring the glass in his palm, and at least he’s practiced at landing on his feet.

One of them is dead. The other, Dazai takes care of. Four bullets. This is already a mess, and he’s pissed — that’s the only emotion in play, of course it is. And there’s Chuuya.

There’s blood; one of the bullets clearly hit him, even though Dazai hadn’t seen the fight. They need to get out of here, and he’s quick to kneel on the ground, not letting himself focus on the extent of Chuuya’s injuries. Getting away is the priority, and he’s not worried, because he never is. The only reason his heart is pounding is adrenaline. ]

Chuuya. Get up.

[He will, because he always gets up. Dazai is dragging off his coat, because there’s no way they’re going to be able to find Chuuya’s clothes before leaving, and he needs something to cover him. As soon as he gets up. But… god, he doesn’t look good.

It’s fine. They’re always fine. There’s no way something stupid like this would take Chuuya out. ]

[Dazai's voice makes Chuuya focus again. His voice sounds like relief, breaking through all the pain for a second, just for a second, and he focuses on only that. And to Chuuya's credit, he tries to listen. He's barely conscious, but he lifts his head to look at Dazai - he's never been so happy to see him - and tries his best to push himself to his feet. There's a groan that turns into a yell of pain before he collapses back down.

All that pain rushes back again.

He won't give up. He can't give up. It's never been in his vocabulary. He tries to use his ability to force himself upwards, but he barely has the strength to even reach for it. He's so close to just passing out. He wants to just pass out. He can't use his ability if he's passed out.]

So... sorry.

[It's an unnatural thing for them to say. But Chuuya can't get to his feet right now, and he has never allowed himself to be that weak.]

Trying.

[Dazai has seen Chuuya in various states of pain and injury, but he has to admit, this doesn't seem good. But there's no way Chuuya, of all people, would die just from this; it would be stupid, Dazai thinks, irritated that he's even in this position. He hates the way Chuuya focuses on him and makes an effort to look at Dazai instead of saving his energy, because they still have to get out of here. Which is going to be difficult when it's clear that Chuuya can't even get to his feet.]

Shut up. You're not sorry. [The words are harsh, but Dazai's voice isn't, for once. Hearing that from Chuuya isn't something he wants, so it would be better if he just didn't say anything at all.

They just need to get somewhere safe, contact help, and then Dazai will leave Chuuya to whatever is going to happen to him. This isn't his responsibility; they have no obligation to each other anymore. They're not partners; they're enemies.

So why the hell didn't Chuuya just let Dazai die? This is why he's pathetic. If it were Dazai in that position...

Well, he's sitting here, not abandoning Chuuya to save himself, so maybe that's irrelevant.]

You have to get up. Come on.

[Dazai could try to carry him, but if they run into trouble, they're both dead. But it doesn't seem like Chuuya can, even when he attempts to use his ability. Dazai can't remember ever seeing him like this, and he doesn't like it.]

[When Dazai tells him to, Chuuya groans, and tries again. He manages to push himself onto all fours before he has to stop and take a break, breathing hard, the pain making him dizzy. He's stronger than this, because he has to be. He's not a normal person. Not truly human. He can do this. He's been tortured before and he kept fighting then, and that time he'd been drugged on top of injured.

He grabs onto Dazai's pants, and manages, somehow (barely), to pull himself up so he's kneeling. One step closer. His shoulder is bleeding badly.]

I can do it. Go -- Go on ahead.

[He lets go again, and then points to the man Dazai just shot, specifically to his hip.]

Gun. Bullets.

[The other guy had used up all his bullets. Not that it had done him any good. But Dazai might need another weapon if he's going to have to do most of the fighting for once.]

[Dazai doesn't want to tell Chuuya to force himself, but they need to get out of here. And that's what they do; they push themselves despite being unable to, and somehow manage not to die. That's how it's always been, and Dazai knows Chuuya can do it, because he has to do it. He doesn't move away, doesn't shake Chuuya off when a hand grips his pants, but he does keep himself still, unwilling to bridge that short gap to reach out and touch, because Chuuya can do this on his own.

His shoulder looks bad, but it's nothing that can't be fixed. Dazai tells himself that in a clinical inner tone, turning to glance at the gun Chuuya motions to. Another look back at Chuuya to make sure he's not going to fall over, and Dazai moves the short distance away, crouching to take the gun, and to check for any other weapons that might be on him. A knife, though close-hand combat isn't ideal. He takes it anyway.

He's angry. Threatening his own life... that's one thing. Dazai has long balanced the line of life and death, and any little thing might be the one push that sends him over the edge towards one or the other. But to use him as leverage against someone else? He hates it. And seeing Chuuya just take it when he knows this about Dazai, that he's never cared for his own life, only irritates him more.]

I'm not going on ahead. If you're thinking of something stupid like dying here, then quit it.

[Dazai pockets the stolen weapons and turns to Chuuya.]

I didn't put up with you for years to see you die to something this pathetic.

I won't die from this.

[He might. He easily could. He feels too weak, and he hates it, because he's someone who's not allowed to be weak. He's always been the trump card, the one carrying the responsibility of power... Even now, it's an ingrained part of his identity.

He tries to get up, drawing a sharp breath as he tries to push to his feet... And immediately he's dropping back down, landing hard on his knees. He presses a hand to his bleeding shoulder, as hard as he can manage, and then tries again, legs shaking as he manages to get one underneath him, and then the other, slowly slowly rising up, body swaying for a moment before he finds his balance. He never has trouble finding his balance.

He's struggling to remain conscious enough to stand.]

Then lead the way.

[He thinks he can hear people moving, yelling. He's not sure. He's seeing black dots in front of his vision, and it's all he can focus on, but he takes a step forward anyway, towards Dazai.]

[They both know there's a possibility that Chuuya could die from this, but Dazai refuses to entertain that thought any longer than the second it takes to cross his mind. Chuuya won't die. He's too annoying to die. And as much as Dazai would like to say he's adamant about this because Chuuya really is a trump card--that's not entirely why. In fact, he's really not thinking about that at all right now, and it's not like Chuuya is strong enough to fight in the first place.

It's hard for him to even stand. Watching him feels like... it's a helpless feeling that Dazai dislikes.]

If you try to do something stupid, I'm stopping you.

[His voice isn't as harsh as it normally would be, and honestly, more of the irritation is addressed at himself rather than Chuuya. But they need to get out; Dazai can hear the voices and the movement, the direction they're coming from. He spots a door to the side, looks back to Chuuya stepping towards him, and reaches out.

You can hold onto me. It's a wordless agreement, an offer that Chuuya can take if he chooses. If he's not stubborn about it.]

[Chuuya doesn't think he could do something stupid if he wanted to. He'd be tempted to use Corruption, even though his body definitely can't take it at this point, just to get them out of this, but... He needs his hat for that, and he has no idea where it is, or where his clothes are. At least he has Dazai's coat... He only now realizes that he has Dazai's coat, and awkwardly puts his arms in the sleeves to keep it from falling.

It's way too big on him, but at least it covers him.]

I know.

[He could still use his ability to throw himself at any enemies, or he could at least try... But when Dazai reaches out, he steps closer - winces with each step because of the burns underneath his feet - accepting the offer to lean on him. Which means it's effectively no longer an option.

He'll have to trust Dazai to take care of this, but he's been trusting him this whole time.]

I'm counting on you.

[Chuuya can’t fight anyway, so it’s fine to touch. Dazai thinks about nothing when Chuuya leans on him, wearing his coat — far too big — and slides an arm around his waist. There’s going to be blood all on Dazai’s clothes, but it’s not like that has never happened before.]

I’m going to cover us. You’re to tell me if you notice anyone.

[It’s probably a useless task, with how Chuuya is about on the verge of passing out, but having something to do will keep him focused. Hefting the weight at his side, Dazai will do his best to keep Chuuya from having to put too much pressure on his feet. They ought to look for the clothes — that stupid hat, at least — but they can send someone else to do that later. Right now, the priority is leaving.

Dazai doesn’t care about Chuuya at all, which is why this will be fine. Chuuya will be fine. They’ve been in shitty situations before, but Chuuya has never been this badly off. Dazai isn’t thinking about it as he moves towards the side door, listening for any noise behind it.]

[Chuuya leans into Dazai, and it's telling how much of his weight he leans on him, but at least it makes it easier to move. Really, it's what makes it possible for Chuuya to keep moving at all.]

I will.

[He probably won't, but he'll try. And he does appreciate having something to focus on. He tries to ignore the pain, the way every step feels like it's shooting flames up his legs again, the way he can barely feel his arm because of the gunshot. The pain from that is spiraling out through the rest of his body, but he has to ignore it, he has to prove that he's strong enough. He's been tortured before.

He's so relieved that Dazai is here. He wouldn't want anyone else seeing him like this, and wouldn't trust anyone else to get him out safe.]

If you have to fight, just drop me.

[He'll definitely pass out then. Why can't he just pass out --

-- Oh right. They have to get out.]

Oh, I'll absolutely drop you.

[It's probably a lie; Dazai can fire a gun one-handed, after all, and he does still have bullets left. He's going to do his best to get them out of this without drawing much attention--something he's always been better at than Chuuya, who rushes in headfirst--but admittedly, it's more difficult when you're half-supporting someone on the way.

At least Chuuya is still warm against him. He's still talking, even though he's putting more weight on Dazai than he normally would. Like this, Chuuya can't fight, but he's more or less out of commission anyway. At least someone ought to be tracking their location, so if they can just get out...

But Dazai hadn't been stealthy at all when he'd shot the man behind him, nor when he'd shattered the window, or when he'd jumped down to grab Chuuya. If anything, he should have saved himself--but they're here now, and Dazai owes Chuuya for not immediately getting him killed. That's all this is.]

[Chuuya can hear footsteps now. He nudges Dazai's side, but he's pretty sure Dazai can hear them, too. He wonders where the exit is, how far they'll have to go to be safe.

He hates knowing that he'll be useless. He thinks he should be able to fight a little. Dazai took a knife, and he tries to pull that out of his pocket, just so he'll have a weapon, too. He's pretty sure that if he tries anything, he really will pass out, but if anyone gets close enough for Chuuya to need it then they're probably in trouble anyway.

Or maybe he should just --

Yeah, maybe he can make another way for them.]

Do you think this wall leads outside?

[He could probably crash through it without dying, right?]

[Dazai can hear them. The arm around Chuuya tightens a bit, and he slows his breathing to try and hear better, shifting in order to make it easier for Chuuya to pull the knife. They don't need words when they're like this; Dazai knows what Chuuya will go for, the thinking behind it.

Which is why he knows what Chuuya is thinking when he mentions the wall.]

That's irrelevant. Are you really going to try and crash through it in your condition?

[It's not because Dazai is concerned, of course. It's because Chuuya needs to save whatever strength he has for if they get into deep shit, which is more than likely... but then again, if he manages to make a hole in the wall, they'd be able to avoid the footsteps coming for them. So, it's not an entirely terrible idea, in terms of strategy. For Chuuya's own wellbeing? It's definitely not the best.

That's the only reason Dazai hesitates. If he takes too long, though, they're screwed, and he definitely doesn't have enough bullets to take on whoever else is in this building, especially since he's likely to get shot before doing any real damage. With an irritated click of his tongue, Dazai moves to step away from Chuuya.]

If you're going to do it, then do it. [Dazai can't hold onto him for this to work, which means Chuuya will have to stand on his own.]

[Chuuya is surprised when Dazai agrees, but maybe it's the best choice. They don't know how many enemies there are, but there's most likely a lot considering this group is powerful enough to kidnap the two of them. They need to get out of there fast.

And Chuuya is always willing to risk himself in order to get the job done. What's a little more pain, at this point?

He stumbles away from Dazai and over to the wall, leaning against it. Thankfully he should be able to break it standing still. He gestures for Dazai to stay behind him so no rubble will fall on him, and then places a hand on the wall, focusing, allowing gravity to gather under his touch. He can feel his pulse pounding painfully as he tries to find more strength to use, like he's being pulled apart more than the wall, but he can do this. He has to do this. It's the only thing he can do.

It's a push and pull. Force one piece of the wall in one direction, and another piece in another direction, make them repel each other, and push other parts of the wall out of the way. It should be easy. It's easier when he can just use himself as a cannon ball.

Someone turns the corner, enemies pointing guns at them, and Chuuya uses everything he's got to make the wall and ceiling crash down on top of them. It takes more than he's got just to force the rubble in the right direction, but he does it. He actually does it. He stumbles through the hole he's just made and falls, head smacking hard against the ground.]

[Shit. Dazai isn’t bothering to look at the people Chuuya had hopefully crushed; instead, he’s lurching forward, grabbing at his body where he’s hit the ground. It had been risky, but Chuuya always comes through, and true enough, this time was no different. Except he’s not standing like he usually is, smug look on his face, and that… it’s concerning.

Dazai’s grip on Chuuya’s shoulder is tight, shaking him a bit. He’s not gentle, because they need to go. They’re out, and as long as they can get somewhere hidden, they’ll be able to get away. But that requires Chuuya moving, and he’s not moving. Dazai keeps himself calm like he always does.]

You did it. Come on, we have to go.

[Worst case scenario, Dazai can carry him, but it’s definitely going to be hard to defend them like that, and—and he doesn’t like seeing Chuuya this still.]

[Chuuya groans when Dazai shakes him, and otherwise doesn't move much. His eyes are open, aimed at Dazai, but barely focused right now. Breaking that wall might really have been too much for him. He just keeps watching his ex-partner like those words and his urgency aren't registering.]

--zai?

[His temple is bleeding now, too. There's blood pooling around him from the earlier gunshot. He's clinging to consciousness, because he's always been strong, always been able to push through almost everything, but even someone like Chuuya has limits.]

Can't.

[He couldn't lift a finger anymore. He just hopes it was enough to get Dazai to safety.]

[There are so many things going wrong. Possible concussion--even Chuuya has a skull that can crack, as much as Dazai calls him hardheaded--shock, blood loss. Everything that seems to be going wrong is, and it's all Dazai can do to control his breathing, because he's not concerned, he's not worried, he's not upset. Chuuya won't die, because he's never been cursed with Dazai caring about him, and so he'll be fine. Obviously.

But even people Dazai hates can die, he reasons. He's seen to several of them himself. It's with that thought at the back of his mind that he manages to get Chuuya onto his back, weight too heavy with his inability to move, blood soaking warm into Dazai's clothes. This is possibly one of the shittiest situations that they've been in together, and Dazai isn't worried. It's not far to a forested area, the place hidden outside of the city, but he only stops once they've crashed far enough through irritating twigs and brush, once they've reached a place where several larger trees conceal them for the most part from prying eyes. Dazai doubts anyone following them will be stealthy about it--they might already have Chuuya pegged for dead--so the thick branches will snap and crack a warning if anyone comes near.

They need to get out of here, though. There's no first-aid in the middle of nowhere; Dazai has nothing on him.

They'll be found, for certain, but the question is when. He always has a plan; he'd dropped a note only Ranpo would understand, cryptic and annoying as hell, and doesn't expect it to take all that long for backup to find them. But again, they don't have that long. When he lays Chuuya out on the ground, far more gently than Dazai normally would, he's too pale.]

Chuuya. Can you hear me?

[Dazai touches the shoulder that isn't bleeding, but only shakes gently.]

[Chuuya had passed out again while being carried. He's limp on Dazai's back, and just as limp when Dazai finds a place to put him down, flat on the ground and not moving. But he's still breathing, at least, still holding onto life. Chuuya has always been stubborn.

And after a few minutes of lying still, Chuuya comes to again, groaning, a pained expression at his face. His eyes find Dazai right away, focusing on him, because it doesn't really matter to him where they are. He can tell from how cold the ground is underneath him that they're outside.]

Yeah.

[He wishes he couldn't. He wishes he was unconscious again. No, that's a weak, thought, so he won't allow himself to have it. He frowns more, tries to move his fingers, then his arms, managing to lift the uninjured one to rest his hand on Dazai's elbow.]

Got out?

[There's too much touching, and Dazai doesn't think anything of it. He's focused on Chuuya's face, on how conscious and aware he is. There's a lot of blood--it's a bad wound, the one on Chuuya's shoulder, and if there's one thing Dazai knows well, it's wrapping bandages. A more aware Chuuya would complain about the source, but Dazai thinks nothing of unraveling a good length from his own arm, tearing through it with his teeth. Easy enough.]

What tipped you off?

[He needs some semblance of normalcy, so it's a sarcastic remark spoken plainly, without the usual malice. Going through the motions, because it's second nature and Dazai needs that while Chuuya is so unlike Chuuya. 'I forgot trees grow inside buidlings,' he'd normally say, but leaves that part out. He mostly just wants to keep Chuuya talking.]

You really pushed yourself. You know I hate it when you don't follow the plan. Stay still.

[He'll try to wrap the bandages around Chuuya's shoulder, at least, to stem some of the bleeding if he can. It won't be a perfect solution, but hopefully will at least do something.]

Ground is cold.

[Chuuya is too out of it to notice that Dazai is sarcastic. He hasn't even noticed the trees around them, because his eyes are on Dazai, as the only thing here that seems important.

And he doesn't object when Dazai bandages his arms. Later, he definitely will, but for now he just lets him work, wincing every time he has to move or lift his shoulder, and when he tightens the bandages to slow the bleeding. They'll help a little, but it won't be enough for long, not with his current state. At least it will buy a bit more time while they wait for a rescue, which hopefully isn't far off.]

That's why I like doing it.

[Nothing better than doing something Dazai hates.]

[Well, it's not the usual annoying, combative Chuuya, but he's sort of there, saying he directly fucks with Dazai's plans because he likes to. That's definitely Chuuya, and it's more relieving than annoying this time, as Dazai works on bandaging the worst of the wounds as quickly as he can, drawing extra bandages from his other arm. They won't last long, but hopefully help won't take forever, either.

He wants to berate Chuuya for letting himself get tortured in the first place, but... maybe when they're both in the clear. No, definitely then. Dazai can't let Chuuya forget about how stupid he is, letting the enemy use Dazai's life as leverage. Something that has no value ought to have no place as a bargaining chip, and yet Chuuya had done the opposite.]

If you lose too much blood, I'm taking you to Yosano. You'd better force it back into your body, because I don't particularly want to do that.

[It's a decision Dazai had made before they'd gotten out of the building. If Chuuya objects, then tough shit; they'll never talk about this again, fine, but Chuuya isn't going to die from something stupid like this. Not unless Dazai is the one ending him.]

[Dazai is saying too many words all at once. Chuuya takes a moment to process all of that, struggling mostly with the idea of why that's a threat. Normally, of course, he'd be objecting loudly, but right now he's too exhausted to really think.]

That doctor?

[He has the names of every ADA member memorized. He will never use those names for them.]

I'll be fine.

[And that's definitely a standard Chuuya answer. He doesn't feel remotely fine. He keeps wincing while Dazai bandaging him, letting out sounds that are too close to whimpers when he's supposed to be a lot tougher than that. He's not aware of his own reactions anymore.]

This is nothing.

[He might be passing out again.]

[Dazai can tell when Chuuya starts to lose consciousness; he can always tell, familiar enough with it that he knows all the signs. He's not happy about the noises either, something Chuuya would normally hate doing--which means he's really in bad shape, if he's not even attempting to swallow them down. Or maybe he doesn't even realize he's making noises.

Finished with the bandages, Dazai studies his handiwork. It's really inadequate, to be honest, blood already staining white, but it's better than nothing. He just needs to keep Chuuya aware until help comes.]

Hey. Don't fall asleep.

[Dazai wishes he had Chuuya's clothes, honestly. Something to cover him up with, because like this, he looks too vulnerable. Fragile in a way Dazai hates seeing, because Chuuya isn't fragile.]

Huh?

[He might not be able to. His eyes are still open, but they're no longer focused on Dazai the way they have been, like he's not quite registering what's going on around him. His hand drops from where it had been holding onto Dazai, landing on the ground between them.

There are sounds in the distance again. Yelling, fighting, a sign that something is going on, though Chuuya doesn't react to any of it. His breathing is slow, a bit unsteady with pain, each exhale sounding a bit worse again. At least until he closes his eyes, because consciousness is overrated, and he's been fighting this for too long now. He doesn't have the strength to keep it up, even for Dazai.]

[His breathing is too slow. Dazai knows all these signs; he's seen plenty of people die, and that's not going to happen to Chuuya. He doesn't care, there's nothing between them, so Chuuya can't die. Isn't that part of the reason Dazai so steadfastly pushes him away? He won't let it happen again.]

Chuuya.

[There's a strain to his voice that Chuuya probably can't even hear, and if they make it through this--no when Chuuya regains consciousness, it's a damn good thing he won't know. He won't know the way Dazai grabs his hand after it falls, holding too tight, but it's not like Chuuya is aware or awake enough to complain. Not that it would rival any of the other pain he's in.]

Listen to me. You can hear me, right?

[Dazai knows he can't carry Chuuya anywhere that matters before help finds them; it'd be faster and safer to just wait here. He hears the fighting and the yelling, but has no way of knowing what, exactly, is happening, and he's not leaving Chuuya to bleed out by himself. Dazai is relying on his stubbornness, his refusal to allow Chuuya to die.]

just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

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