just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

[indensity]

[cw: torture.]


[Chuuya keeps glancing over at Dazai. He can see him through a glass window, some distance away, looking down at him. It's difficult to make out his expression from here. It's difficult to focus on him, but he has to make sure Dazai is still there, that they're not trying to trick him somehow. He can't even tell what's going on with him. If he's okay.

And his attention is drawn away again a split second later. A white hot rod is shoved against his side, burning his skin, making him scream and scream. He'd tried not to, at first. Not because he didn't want to give them the satisfaction - he's been tortured before, he knew it was inevitable - but because Dazai is there, and he doesn't want him to see, doesn't want him to know. But he's far beyond that point now. He has a broken arm, several broken ribs, they've punched him enough, he's bleeding badly in several places, and now they're getting creative. They're having fun. And Chuuya is just taking it, holding himself still for them as they come up with something new. When they pull the rod away again, when he's able to breathe and think, at least for a second, he wonders if they might be stopping his bleeding with this new method. They can cause him pain and keep him alive longer, all with one technique.

He's trying to keep his mind going as a distraction against the pain. It's really not working.

He's on his back on the floor, naked, breathing hard as they allow him a few seconds' break. They probably don't want him passing out, and he's relieved, because he needs to be ready. There are tears of pain in his eyes as he looks up at Dazai again, making sure he's there, and looking for a sign, any sign. He can't act until Dazai lets him know it's time. Dazai will figure something out, he always does, but --

Chuuya really hopes it's soon.

But even if it's not, he'll stay right where he is and take it. Because he can't risk them following through on their threat to kill Dazai if he doesn't cooperate. And there's no way Chuuya would reach him in time to save him from here.]

Comments

[dressing]

[Dazai knows he can't let on that he's as agitated as he is. He's practiced in schooling his emotions, in priding himself on not having them, but watching this- No, it's not because he's seeing what's happening to Chuuya. He's angry that he's been tricked, that he can't immediately plot his way out of this. He will, because he always does, but the fact that he doesn't have an automatic answer to the problem is the thing that's really bothering him.

...is what he wants to believe. This is nothing; Dazai knows that Chuuya has been tortured before, they've both endured awful things, but this is the first time Dazai has been forced to see it without a plan on how to make it stop. Actually, no--they could stop it easily, if Chuuya would let himself lose it, but for some reason the threat on Dazai's life seems to have worked, and that is yet another thing Dazai hates.

Why is Chuuya enduring it? Because he's stubborn? That's not it; even from here, behind the glass, Dazai can tell it hurts. There's none of the characteristic anger on Chuuya's face; there can't be, not when there's hardly time allowed for him to breathe before they're starting again. It's the muzzle of a gun pressed to the back of Dazai's head that stops Chuuya from doing what he does best, and honestly? He half wishes they'd just pull the damn trigger, so at least one of them would get out of this.

He's not going to look away, not while he tries to think of a solution where both of them don't end up dead. He keeps looking, because he's not a coward, because Chuuya is looking at him, and Dazai is the one responsible for coming up with the plan. He always is.

But things would be so much easier if Chuuya would just think of himself first, and Dazai wouldn't even blame him. If he could say that, if Chuuya could hear him, he knows what the response would be--vehement refusal. Maybe Chuuya wouldn't be able to get to him in time, but this is stupid; the stalemate, and the fact that Chuuya can be so easily collared, so to speak.

Stop being an idiot, Dazai wants to tell him.]

[indensity]

[It's been a few days since... that. Chuuya has been trying not to think about it at all. It happened, and he can't change it. At least he's fully healed thanks to that agency doctor - much as he hates that he was saved by an enemy - which means he's been able to focus on work instead of staying home to recover... And if he's working, he can push the memories out of his head. He hasn't slept much, but he's used to going periods without sleep when there's too much to do.

But it's been a few days, and the thought of Dazai keeps gnawing at him. He keeps having to remind himself that he doesn't give a shit, that even if the bastard looked at him like that, talked to him like that, with that tone in his voice, it doesn't matter. It was just the adrenaline. Dazai is back with that damn agency, and everything is back to the way it should be. He has to let it go.

He was tortured for that bastard.

There's still the issue of Dazai's coat. There was no way to salvage it, so Chuuya threw it out once he got his own clothes back, but... He'd found himself buying a replacement. It's stupid. He removed the tags so he can at least pretend that it's not new, but he still needs to give to to Dazai. He could have it sent to him. He doesn't have to do it in person. But there really was no other way to do it, so five days after their kidnapping, the torture, he decides it's time to find his ex-partner again.

It takes him a while to track him down. Dazai isn't at his apartment, and when Chuuys breaks in, it doesn't look like he's been there, either. And he's not at the agency - he hides on the roof and listens to their conversation through the window, until he hears someone mention his name. It's a complaint that Dazai is slacking off again. Typical. Except Chuuya is getting a bad feeling by now, and he thinks he knows where to look.

When Chuuya finds him, it's in the center of a bridge, leaning against the railing and watching the river. He approaches slowly, knowing Dazai has seen him already. Chuuya is suddenly self-conscious about the way he looks, knowing it shows how exhausted he is, that he hasn't slept, and that Dazai will notice. Then again, Dazai looks like shit as well, so what the hell does it even matter. He walks closer, and holds out the coat.]

If you're gonna jump, you're gonna get cold when you fail to die and have to climb back out, right?

[He'll lean sideways against the railing next to him.]

I had it cleaned for you. You should be grateful, bastard, it even looks better than before now.