indensity | just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

[cw: torture.]

[Chuuya keeps glancing over at Dazai. He can see him through a glass window, some distance away, looking down at him. It's difficult to make out his expression from here. It's difficult to focus on him, but he has to make sure Dazai is still there, that they're not trying to trick him somehow. He can't even tell what's going on with him. If he's okay.

And his attention is drawn away again a split second later. A white hot rod is shoved against his side, burning his skin, making him scream and scream. He'd tried not to, at first. Not because he didn't want to give them the satisfaction - he's been tortured before, he knew it was inevitable - but because Dazai is there, and he doesn't want him to see, doesn't want him to know. But he's far beyond that point now. He has a broken arm, several broken ribs, they've punched him enough, he's bleeding badly in several places, and now they're getting creative. They're having fun. And Chuuya is just taking it, holding himself still for them as they come up with something new. When they pull the rod away again, when he's able to breathe and think, at least for a second, he wonders if they might be stopping his bleeding with this new method. They can cause him pain and keep him alive longer, all with one technique.

He's trying to keep his mind going as a distraction against the pain. It's really not working.

He's on his back on the floor, naked, breathing hard as they allow him a few seconds' break. They probably don't want him passing out, and he's relieved, because he needs to be ready. There are tears of pain in his eyes as he looks up at Dazai again, making sure he's there, and looking for a sign, any sign. He can't act until Dazai lets him know it's time. Dazai will figure something out, he always does, but --

Chuuya really hopes it's soon.

But even if it's not, he'll stay right where he is and take it. Because he can't risk them following through on their threat to kill Dazai if he doesn't cooperate. And there's no way Chuuya would reach him in time to save him from here.]

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[Chuuya can hear footsteps now. He nudges Dazai's side, but he's pretty sure Dazai can hear them, too. He wonders where the exit is, how far they'll have to go to be safe.

He hates knowing that he'll be useless. He thinks he should be able to fight a little. Dazai took a knife, and he tries to pull that out of his pocket, just so he'll have a weapon, too. He's pretty sure that if he tries anything, he really will pass out, but if anyone gets close enough for Chuuya to need it then they're probably in trouble anyway.

Or maybe he should just --

Yeah, maybe he can make another way for them.]

Do you think this wall leads outside?

[He could probably crash through it without dying, right?]

[Dazai can hear them. The arm around Chuuya tightens a bit, and he slows his breathing to try and hear better, shifting in order to make it easier for Chuuya to pull the knife. They don't need words when they're like this; Dazai knows what Chuuya will go for, the thinking behind it.

Which is why he knows what Chuuya is thinking when he mentions the wall.]

That's irrelevant. Are you really going to try and crash through it in your condition?

[It's not because Dazai is concerned, of course. It's because Chuuya needs to save whatever strength he has for if they get into deep shit, which is more than likely... but then again, if he manages to make a hole in the wall, they'd be able to avoid the footsteps coming for them. So, it's not an entirely terrible idea, in terms of strategy. For Chuuya's own wellbeing? It's definitely not the best.

That's the only reason Dazai hesitates. If he takes too long, though, they're screwed, and he definitely doesn't have enough bullets to take on whoever else is in this building, especially since he's likely to get shot before doing any real damage. With an irritated click of his tongue, Dazai moves to step away from Chuuya.]

If you're going to do it, then do it. [Dazai can't hold onto him for this to work, which means Chuuya will have to stand on his own.]

[Chuuya is surprised when Dazai agrees, but maybe it's the best choice. They don't know how many enemies there are, but there's most likely a lot considering this group is powerful enough to kidnap the two of them. They need to get out of there fast.

And Chuuya is always willing to risk himself in order to get the job done. What's a little more pain, at this point?

He stumbles away from Dazai and over to the wall, leaning against it. Thankfully he should be able to break it standing still. He gestures for Dazai to stay behind him so no rubble will fall on him, and then places a hand on the wall, focusing, allowing gravity to gather under his touch. He can feel his pulse pounding painfully as he tries to find more strength to use, like he's being pulled apart more than the wall, but he can do this. He has to do this. It's the only thing he can do.

It's a push and pull. Force one piece of the wall in one direction, and another piece in another direction, make them repel each other, and push other parts of the wall out of the way. It should be easy. It's easier when he can just use himself as a cannon ball.

Someone turns the corner, enemies pointing guns at them, and Chuuya uses everything he's got to make the wall and ceiling crash down on top of them. It takes more than he's got just to force the rubble in the right direction, but he does it. He actually does it. He stumbles through the hole he's just made and falls, head smacking hard against the ground.]

[Shit. Dazai isn’t bothering to look at the people Chuuya had hopefully crushed; instead, he’s lurching forward, grabbing at his body where he’s hit the ground. It had been risky, but Chuuya always comes through, and true enough, this time was no different. Except he’s not standing like he usually is, smug look on his face, and that… it’s concerning.

Dazai’s grip on Chuuya’s shoulder is tight, shaking him a bit. He’s not gentle, because they need to go. They’re out, and as long as they can get somewhere hidden, they’ll be able to get away. But that requires Chuuya moving, and he’s not moving. Dazai keeps himself calm like he always does.]

You did it. Come on, we have to go.

[Worst case scenario, Dazai can carry him, but it’s definitely going to be hard to defend them like that, and—and he doesn’t like seeing Chuuya this still.]

[Chuuya groans when Dazai shakes him, and otherwise doesn't move much. His eyes are open, aimed at Dazai, but barely focused right now. Breaking that wall might really have been too much for him. He just keeps watching his ex-partner like those words and his urgency aren't registering.]

--zai?

[His temple is bleeding now, too. There's blood pooling around him from the earlier gunshot. He's clinging to consciousness, because he's always been strong, always been able to push through almost everything, but even someone like Chuuya has limits.]

Can't.

[He couldn't lift a finger anymore. He just hopes it was enough to get Dazai to safety.]

[There are so many things going wrong. Possible concussion--even Chuuya has a skull that can crack, as much as Dazai calls him hardheaded--shock, blood loss. Everything that seems to be going wrong is, and it's all Dazai can do to control his breathing, because he's not concerned, he's not worried, he's not upset. Chuuya won't die, because he's never been cursed with Dazai caring about him, and so he'll be fine. Obviously.

But even people Dazai hates can die, he reasons. He's seen to several of them himself. It's with that thought at the back of his mind that he manages to get Chuuya onto his back, weight too heavy with his inability to move, blood soaking warm into Dazai's clothes. This is possibly one of the shittiest situations that they've been in together, and Dazai isn't worried. It's not far to a forested area, the place hidden outside of the city, but he only stops once they've crashed far enough through irritating twigs and brush, once they've reached a place where several larger trees conceal them for the most part from prying eyes. Dazai doubts anyone following them will be stealthy about it--they might already have Chuuya pegged for dead--so the thick branches will snap and crack a warning if anyone comes near.

They need to get out of here, though. There's no first-aid in the middle of nowhere; Dazai has nothing on him.

They'll be found, for certain, but the question is when. He always has a plan; he'd dropped a note only Ranpo would understand, cryptic and annoying as hell, and doesn't expect it to take all that long for backup to find them. But again, they don't have that long. When he lays Chuuya out on the ground, far more gently than Dazai normally would, he's too pale.]

Chuuya. Can you hear me?

[Dazai touches the shoulder that isn't bleeding, but only shakes gently.]

[Chuuya had passed out again while being carried. He's limp on Dazai's back, and just as limp when Dazai finds a place to put him down, flat on the ground and not moving. But he's still breathing, at least, still holding onto life. Chuuya has always been stubborn.

And after a few minutes of lying still, Chuuya comes to again, groaning, a pained expression at his face. His eyes find Dazai right away, focusing on him, because it doesn't really matter to him where they are. He can tell from how cold the ground is underneath him that they're outside.]

Yeah.

[He wishes he couldn't. He wishes he was unconscious again. No, that's a weak, thought, so he won't allow himself to have it. He frowns more, tries to move his fingers, then his arms, managing to lift the uninjured one to rest his hand on Dazai's elbow.]

Got out?

[There's too much touching, and Dazai doesn't think anything of it. He's focused on Chuuya's face, on how conscious and aware he is. There's a lot of blood--it's a bad wound, the one on Chuuya's shoulder, and if there's one thing Dazai knows well, it's wrapping bandages. A more aware Chuuya would complain about the source, but Dazai thinks nothing of unraveling a good length from his own arm, tearing through it with his teeth. Easy enough.]

What tipped you off?

[He needs some semblance of normalcy, so it's a sarcastic remark spoken plainly, without the usual malice. Going through the motions, because it's second nature and Dazai needs that while Chuuya is so unlike Chuuya. 'I forgot trees grow inside buidlings,' he'd normally say, but leaves that part out. He mostly just wants to keep Chuuya talking.]

You really pushed yourself. You know I hate it when you don't follow the plan. Stay still.

[He'll try to wrap the bandages around Chuuya's shoulder, at least, to stem some of the bleeding if he can. It won't be a perfect solution, but hopefully will at least do something.]

Ground is cold.

[Chuuya is too out of it to notice that Dazai is sarcastic. He hasn't even noticed the trees around them, because his eyes are on Dazai, as the only thing here that seems important.

And he doesn't object when Dazai bandages his arms. Later, he definitely will, but for now he just lets him work, wincing every time he has to move or lift his shoulder, and when he tightens the bandages to slow the bleeding. They'll help a little, but it won't be enough for long, not with his current state. At least it will buy a bit more time while they wait for a rescue, which hopefully isn't far off.]

That's why I like doing it.

[Nothing better than doing something Dazai hates.]

[Well, it's not the usual annoying, combative Chuuya, but he's sort of there, saying he directly fucks with Dazai's plans because he likes to. That's definitely Chuuya, and it's more relieving than annoying this time, as Dazai works on bandaging the worst of the wounds as quickly as he can, drawing extra bandages from his other arm. They won't last long, but hopefully help won't take forever, either.

He wants to berate Chuuya for letting himself get tortured in the first place, but... maybe when they're both in the clear. No, definitely then. Dazai can't let Chuuya forget about how stupid he is, letting the enemy use Dazai's life as leverage. Something that has no value ought to have no place as a bargaining chip, and yet Chuuya had done the opposite.]

If you lose too much blood, I'm taking you to Yosano. You'd better force it back into your body, because I don't particularly want to do that.

[It's a decision Dazai had made before they'd gotten out of the building. If Chuuya objects, then tough shit; they'll never talk about this again, fine, but Chuuya isn't going to die from something stupid like this. Not unless Dazai is the one ending him.]

[Dazai is saying too many words all at once. Chuuya takes a moment to process all of that, struggling mostly with the idea of why that's a threat. Normally, of course, he'd be objecting loudly, but right now he's too exhausted to really think.]

That doctor?

[He has the names of every ADA member memorized. He will never use those names for them.]

I'll be fine.

[And that's definitely a standard Chuuya answer. He doesn't feel remotely fine. He keeps wincing while Dazai bandaging him, letting out sounds that are too close to whimpers when he's supposed to be a lot tougher than that. He's not aware of his own reactions anymore.]

This is nothing.

[He might be passing out again.]

[Dazai can tell when Chuuya starts to lose consciousness; he can always tell, familiar enough with it that he knows all the signs. He's not happy about the noises either, something Chuuya would normally hate doing--which means he's really in bad shape, if he's not even attempting to swallow them down. Or maybe he doesn't even realize he's making noises.

Finished with the bandages, Dazai studies his handiwork. It's really inadequate, to be honest, blood already staining white, but it's better than nothing. He just needs to keep Chuuya aware until help comes.]

Hey. Don't fall asleep.

[Dazai wishes he had Chuuya's clothes, honestly. Something to cover him up with, because like this, he looks too vulnerable. Fragile in a way Dazai hates seeing, because Chuuya isn't fragile.]

Huh?

[He might not be able to. His eyes are still open, but they're no longer focused on Dazai the way they have been, like he's not quite registering what's going on around him. His hand drops from where it had been holding onto Dazai, landing on the ground between them.

There are sounds in the distance again. Yelling, fighting, a sign that something is going on, though Chuuya doesn't react to any of it. His breathing is slow, a bit unsteady with pain, each exhale sounding a bit worse again. At least until he closes his eyes, because consciousness is overrated, and he's been fighting this for too long now. He doesn't have the strength to keep it up, even for Dazai.]

[His breathing is too slow. Dazai knows all these signs; he's seen plenty of people die, and that's not going to happen to Chuuya. He doesn't care, there's nothing between them, so Chuuya can't die. Isn't that part of the reason Dazai so steadfastly pushes him away? He won't let it happen again.]

Chuuya.

[There's a strain to his voice that Chuuya probably can't even hear, and if they make it through this--no when Chuuya regains consciousness, it's a damn good thing he won't know. He won't know the way Dazai grabs his hand after it falls, holding too tight, but it's not like Chuuya is aware or awake enough to complain. Not that it would rival any of the other pain he's in.]

Listen to me. You can hear me, right?

[Dazai knows he can't carry Chuuya anywhere that matters before help finds them; it'd be faster and safer to just wait here. He hears the fighting and the yelling, but has no way of knowing what, exactly, is happening, and he's not leaving Chuuya to bleed out by himself. Dazai is relying on his stubbornness, his refusal to allow Chuuya to die.]

[Chuuya doesn't answer. His eyes remain closed. There's no reaction to the way Dazai is holding his hand, to the tone of his voice, or the expression on his face. There's no way Chuuya wouldn't react to that normally, if there was even an ounce of strength left in his body to react with.

The noises are getting closer. It's a few minutes, and then it's possible to distinguish voices as well. Someone is yelling Dazai's name. The ADA, ever reliable, has finally arrived, fighting the kidnappers while looking for their missing member. And there doesn't seem to be much time to spare with the way Chuuya's skin is growing paler, his pulse getting weaker.

At least Ranpo seemed to know they'd need Yosano. All Dazai has to do is convince her to save a dying enemy.]

[He can hear his name being called, but Dazai can't get up. If he leaves Chuuya, and if something happens- No, he can't. If his hands shake, nobody is around to see it; if his expression shows emotion, nobody will know. He needs to remember to breathe, and tells himself they're almost here, and that this won't be like the nightmares he sometimes has. No, this is reality, and Chuuya won't die from this. He can't. Dazai won't let him.]

Over here!

[Dazai yells without looking away from Chuuya. He has to see if he's still breathing, moves a hand to cup his cheek. Cold. Way too cold. Dazai smooths hair away from his face, realizes he's smeared Chuuya's own blood on his skin, and pulls his hand back.

If the others find them, they'll see Dazai hunched over Chuuya, and he's not going to bother to move away. He can't. If he moves away and that's when Chuuya- No, he's not even going to finish that thought.]

[It doesn't take the others long. Atsushi reaches them first, strong tiger legs helping him close the distance only moments after he hears Dazai's shout. And he sees the situation, and immediately yells for the others to hurry as well. Kunikida and Yosano both show up after him, having run to get there as fast as they could. None of them had been expecting to see Dazai like that, or to see Chuuya at all.

Maybe that's why Yosano is willing to heal him. Something about Dazai's expression, though she doesn't comment on it. Chuuya opens his eyes, disoriented, and tenses when he sees Yosano like he's expecting a fight. She's an enemy, even if she's one of Dazai's coworkers, and she --

He sees Dazai, and forgets about her immediately. The tension drains back out of him. He's still confused, trying to figure out where they are, what's going on, because the last he remembers... He'd been tortured. They were escaping. He's missing chunks of it, but he does remember breaking through a wall, so at least he hadn't been useless. The only thing that really matters.]

Guess we made it.

[He's really cold. And uncomfortable. And he doesn't like being surrounded by enemies like this.]

Did I save your ass again?

[As soon as Dazai sees Chuuya open his eyes, he wants to pull away. He'd dropped the hand he was holding when Yosano started working, and while he appreciates that none of them commented on the state of him, or why he's saving someone they consider the enemy, Dazai hates that they saw at all. He's in a bad state, not physically but emotionally, not in the mood to fall into the familiar back and forth he has with Chuuya.]

Ha. [It's a mirthless laugh.] Did you save my ass? Hardly.

[Dazai finally stands up, straightens himself. The others can go--he can go. All Chuuya needs to do now is wait for someone from the Port Mafia to pick him up.

This is too much. Now that the adrenaline and panic is gone, Dazai is stuck being aware that it had been there in the first place, and he wants to shake it off but can't. That fact just makes him more irritated with himself.]

[He's not surprised when Dazai stands up. If he's disappointed, he doesn't show it. He's surrounded by enemies, and he has no intention of staying on the ground, of continuing to seem so weak. He already hates that he needed their help. He starts pushing himself back to his feet, at first compensating for expected pain, then faster when he realizes nothing actually hurts anymore. That ability really is impressive...

And Mori has taught him manners, so he turns away from Dazai, back to Yosano.]

Thank you. [He makes a small bow. He hates it.] Not many people would save an enemy.

[Dazai had. And Chuuya remembers the tone in Dazai's voice earlier... He won't ask him about it, Dazai would never forgive him. In fact, it's probably better if he gets out of here.]

I'll have this mess cleaned up.

[He should find something to wear that's not Dazai's coat, which is dragging along the ground. And he needs his hat.]

[Chuuya thanks Yosano, and something about that annoys Dazai, but he doesn't say anything. He ought to thank Yosano, too, but he won't--not directly. Perhaps he'll have some wine delivered to her door. Unspoken thanks are the ones Dazai does best.

They do need to retrieve Chuuya's hat, at least, but Dazai figures once things calm down, they'll be able to. He's not going to ask anyone else to do it, so if he has to go in himself, so be it. Or rather, he ought to tell Chuuya to find it himself, because-

Because he's done here! Right?]

Wonderful. Since my people are here-- [they'll protest about being called that] I can leave. Good luck finding a way home.

[Whatever just happened is something Dazai needs to get away from. He's still got blood all over him, he's torn off part of his bandages, and quite honestly, he looks more of a mess than Chuuya does right now, having had whatever injuries he'd sustained healed completely. He's just... naked. Which isn't Dazai's concern.

None of this is Dazai's concern!]

[Chuuya turns to look at Dazai again, for just a few moments, but he knows better than to say anything here.]

Yeah. Get the hell out of here, Dazai. There's nothing worse than having to see your face.

[He'll turn and walk away. Dazai can go with his agency, get himself cleaned up, and Chuuya will clean up here. He'll find his hat, find a phone to steal, and call for someone to come get him.

And if there's anyone left to kill, he'll take care of that, too.]

[That's the way it should be, but Dazai doesn't feel relieved. If anything, he feels out of control, and he hates that so much. That Chuuya can still make him feel like this, after years of being 'enemies', after Dazai left him behind. He doesn't need to see someone else die, someone he...

No. He's definitely not going there, not until he's very drunk at home. There, he can be as pissed off at himself as he wants to be--pissed off at Chuuya. Right now, he's got to pretend he doesn't give a shit, which he absolutely does not, regardless of the fact that Chuuya really did almost die.

He never dies. Dazai knew he wouldn't; he was never concerned. That's what he'll tell himself. If he shoves his hands in his pockets, it's because he needs something to do with them, not because they're shaky after the adrenaline has worn off.]

[Chuuya can hear some objections from the other ADA members as he walks away - is this okay, what happened, should we let him leave - and he thinks he recognizes the weretiger's voice, but Chuuya ignores it all until he's so far away he can no longer hear anything from them at all. Then he stops, abruptly.

He's fine, because he has to be fine. What happened doesn't matter. He's been hurt before. Not like that, not for that long, not in a way that made him feel so completely weak, but it's not important. Chuuya won't allow himself to dwell on it at all, and he definitely won't let it get to him, in any way, ever.

(This is a lie.)

What's not a lie is that he doesn't regret it at all. He'd do it again for Dazai. Even if it means dying for his traitor of an ex-partner.

He can't get the sound of Dazai's voice saying his name like that out of his head. It's the only thing he'll be thinking about as he finally pushes forward, launching himself back into that building in order to bring it all to the ground. There won't be anyone left when he's done.]

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just bleeding out in the mouth of the devil

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