[Chuuya has no intention of letting go. Even if Dazai did want to get up, he'd have to break free of Chuuya's grip first. Like this, Chuuya knows where he's got him, and he's safe, even if it's uncomfortable. They also don't have to look at each other, so Dazai won't see his expressions.]
What was I supposed to do? Let you die?
[There's no way he'll ever do that. It doesn't matter what kind of danger Chuuya is in, he's never going to save himself first, because the thought of this world without Dazai is --
He swallows that thought down fast. He already thought Dazai died once in the past, when he disappeared, and that had been bad enough. He'd spent weeks focused more on tracking this worthless asshole down than on his actual job, without so much as ever finding a single clue... He never wants to feel that way again. He doesn't care what happens to himself, because he decided on those priorities a long time ago.
Even if he'd been terrified while getting tortured, too. Even if he'd thought that they might break his body to the point where he'd never be able to fight again. He hadn't expected to be healed like that for free at all.]
If you want to die that badly, try harder.
[He sounds angry, but Dazai will probably pick up on the real fear underneath.]
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What was I supposed to do? Let you die?
[There's no way he'll ever do that. It doesn't matter what kind of danger Chuuya is in, he's never going to save himself first, because the thought of this world without Dazai is --
He swallows that thought down fast. He already thought Dazai died once in the past, when he disappeared, and that had been bad enough. He'd spent weeks focused more on tracking this worthless asshole down than on his actual job, without so much as ever finding a single clue... He never wants to feel that way again. He doesn't care what happens to himself, because he decided on those priorities a long time ago.
Even if he'd been terrified while getting tortured, too. Even if he'd thought that they might break his body to the point where he'd never be able to fight again. He hadn't expected to be healed like that for free at all.]
If you want to die that badly, try harder.
[He sounds angry, but Dazai will probably pick up on the real fear underneath.]