[With Chuuya, Dazai had taken too long. He’d let the torture go on too much, to the point he’d almost died, and he knows it. He fucked up. He’d almost let Chuuya die, it would have been his fault, he might not have made it soon enough—
Dazai drags himself back to the present. He doesn’t need to spiral here.]
Yes. That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. And I’d have done the same.
[He wouldn’t have. They both known it. Dazai would much rather lose his life than cause the loss of Chuuya’s.]
If you want me to try harder, then let go.
[But Dazai still isn’t struggling, despite his words. He doesn’t even know if he’d try again, were Chuuya to let him up right now. Dazai’s thoughts are unstable and angry, and when he senses that fear under Chuuya’s words, that just twists the knife more. Why does he do this? Chuuya is the biggest, most annoying idiot Dazai knows.]
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Dazai drags himself back to the present. He doesn’t need to spiral here.]
Yes. That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. And I’d have done the same.
[He wouldn’t have. They both known it. Dazai would much rather lose his life than cause the loss of Chuuya’s.]
If you want me to try harder, then let go.
[But Dazai still isn’t struggling, despite his words. He doesn’t even know if he’d try again, were Chuuya to let him up right now. Dazai’s thoughts are unstable and angry, and when he senses that fear under Chuuya’s words, that just twists the knife more. Why does he do this? Chuuya is the biggest, most annoying idiot Dazai knows.]