indensity | when you're helpless, waiting to collide

when you're helpless, waiting to collide

[Chuuya has lost all track of time while he's been there. The drugs they've injected him with has him slipping in and out of consciousness, and it's making it difficult to think, made worse by the fact that every inch of his body seems to hurt. He only vaguely remembers the fight. He's pretty sure his coffee had been drugged when he bought it, that or his croissant, and then when he'd felt so dizzy only his ability could keep him standing, he'd been attacked out of nowhere by two ability users. One of them had some sort of lightning based ability, he's not sure about the other.

He's pretty sure he has a concussion.

He's been trying to gauge his injuries, figure out if he'll be able to move, trying to figure out a way to break himself free. He's chained up, but he should be able to break those if the drugs wear off. The door to this room looks solid, but he can break it. If not for the drugs.

At some point, someone comes into the room and injects him with another dose, and he loses all consciousness again. When he wakes up, he starts the thought process over. Where is he, can he fight, how will he get out. He's not the type to ever just wait to be rescued.]

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[Dazai doesn't immediately order another drink, and that's a bad sign. That means he's ready to leave. Chuuya rubs at the back of his neck, wondering if he should just get this over with.]

Yeah, well, I didn't want to.

[That's sort of a lie. He came here for himself. He signals the bartender, orders another glass of whiskey for Dazai, because it just feels wrong if he's not drinking. And maybe to make sure he doesn't run.

And then he's going to get this over with, because he's not a coward.]

You know what I'm sick of? [He's looking at his wine glass, swirling it around a little before taking a sip.] Not getting to decide who I consider an enemy.

[... Well, that is not good... If Chuuya is willingly buying Dazai a drink, it can only spell disaster. What has Dazai missed? Has the mafia just assassinated someone in the ADA because of reasons, maybe? Or worse?! Either way, this is bound to be terrible. Dazai doesn't leave just yet, but neither does he touch his fresh drink. He'd rather know what he's being bribed for, first.]

Now you're sick of that?

[Hasn't it always been that way for Chuuya? People in his group are "good"; people outside of it are "bad". As if life is ever that simple.]

[Chuuya is a little frustrated when Dazai doesn't accept the glass, but he won't push it. He knows he can't change Dazai's mind if he decides to be stubborn. But this is... uncomfortable. It would be so much easier if they were both drunk.

Chuuya should have gotten himself drunk before coming here.]

So what?

[It's not that simple. It's mostly been that simple. Chuuya wants to protect the mafia for his own reasons, and while outsiders are not necessarily enemies, they're still outsiders. Everybody needs their loyalties - it's how you earn somewhere to belong.

And it hasn't mattered when he hasn't cared about people outside the Port Mafia, except that... He always has, hasn't he? He drinks more wine before continuing, a little too fast.]

You're not my enemy, Dazai.

[Somewhere to belong... What a foreign concept. And if a place to belong is only bought at the expense of never-ending sacrifice and compromise, is it really where you belong in the first place?

Of course not. Anyone with half a brain knows that - and yet humanity in general refuses to admit it. It's so blatant that, even now, it pisses Dazai off on a visceral level that he hasn't displayed in years, even if he does sometimes still feel it, somewhat pettily.

His eyebrows shoot up at Chuuya's statement, because regardless of whether Dazai agrees with it (and that is more complicated than it should be), that's not as important as why Chuuya says it, and how seriously (or not) Chuuya takes it. To agree or not..? Dazai doesn't really want to, but he's not sure he can emphatically disagree, either.]

Be that as it may, I'm fairly sure we don't qualify as friends, either. [They hate each other far too much for that!

The more difficult question is: what, then, are they?]

[He's taking it very seriously. He wouldn't say it if he didn't, because he knows that technically it's not a decision he gets to make for himself. Dazai could choose to make a move against him, against the mafia (but he doesn't think he will), or Mori could order Chuuya to make a move against the ADA. So he's making his statement in spite of all of that.

He's really not stupid enough to say it lightly.]

Who the hell would want to be friends with you?

[There's no venom behind it. It's just that insults are easier, and he's annoyingly nervous about this whole thing. It's just Dazai, he reminds himself.

Except of course that this isn't about them being enemies, or friends, or whatever the hell they really are. He still can't get that damn conversation he had with that Hunting Dog out of his head, or everything Fyodor has been saying to him since they first started talking. This is Dazai. And he means so much more to Chuuya than he wants to admit, and Chuuya's being a coward and saying this instead.]

But if we ever have to move against each other, come talk to me first instead.

[Dazai may not have much of an idea what the hell this is all supposed to be about suddenly, but he knows that what Chuuya says has little to nothing to do with it.

It's annoying. It makes this even more of a waste of time than a conversation with Chuuya is bound to be, and it still leaves Dazai with a vague sense of dread that he can't seem to narrow down the cause of.]

You say that, but it's not like you'll do that either, will you?

[Not because Chuuya doesn't want to! Whether he does or doesn't is irrelevant. But Mori will never agree to cluing in the mafia's enemies before they strike, and so Chuuya won't tell Dazai anything. It (sort of) makes sense.]

I will.

[Mori might be angry. But he also knows that no matter what the situation is, together he and Dazai can figure out a better solution, and isn't that what matters? As long as it works out for both their groups, as long as as Chuuya's subordinates don't have to die unnecessarily. As long as he doesn't have to fight Dazai. Because he won't.

He finishes his glass of red wine, sets it down.]

I can't promise the Black Lizard won't attack the Detective Agency at some point - [he makes a point of calling it by its actual name, for once] - or some other group within the mafia, but you guys can apparently handle that. And it won't be my orders.

[That's all he had to say. He kind of wants to just leave, because it feels too heavy, too dangerous. And he doesn't want to give Dazai a chance to keep arguing.]

[Even if this is all true, it will just mean that Mori, who has at least an 80% chance of finding out about this "deal" or suspecting it, will not tell Chuuya when a move against the ADA is planned.

But that's not as important as the attempt that Chuuya is making here, clumsy as it is. This may or may not be a set-up from Mori in itself, but it doesn't seem to be, and Chuuya seems to be genuine enough in his approach... whatever he's hoping to accomplish with it.

It kind of gives Dazai a headache, really, the ominous pressure of something unseen looming over the whole thing. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing, after all.]

So you're proposing an agreement, just the two of us, to take precedence over whatever our organizations want from us.

[... That sounds pretty good, really. Apart from anything else: Dazai never did like Chuuya's blind loyalty to Mori much, and this will chip away at it, at least a little.

It does feel a little unbalanced, though. Even disregarding his personal satisfaction, Dazai stands a lot more to gain, here.]

[Chuuya rubs at the back of his neck for a second, and then turns around on his stool to face Dazai finally.]

Yeah. Why not?

[The truth is, he'd do it anyway. He's made up his mind. Dazai isn't his enemy, and if they're put in a position where they're forced to be, Chuuya will look for another solution. It wouldn't matter if Dazai turned him down here.

Because he's been thinking about Dazai for several days now. That's nothing new, but he hasn't been able to lie to himself about why anymore. He has feelings for this bastard. He hates it, but there's no point in pretending he's willing to turn against him. This is... the closest he can ever come to telling him.]

It works out pretty well for you, right?

"Why not"? Because it works out pretty well for me. You don't stand to gain nearly as much.

[Mental alarm bells are still ringing in the distance, but Dazai makes himself appear calm, picking up his glass of whisky, and taking a good sip. He's not sure how this will turn out, but he may as well get a free drink out of it.

He really doesn't want to ask, but... he asks anyway. Maybe the blunt approach will actually be effective with so blunt a person as Chuuya.]

What exactly are you hoping to get out of it?

Nothing.

[He knows that's not something Dazai is inclined to believe, but then again he can usually tell when Chuuya is being serious. And he does mean it. He's not expecting anything else here.

It just felt inevitable that he had to say it.]

Not like you to care what I get out of it.

[That's... not really true, either, so he's just saying it to make Dazai back down. He can argue, but that would be admitting he wants Chuuya to get something out of it, too, wouldn't it? Or well, that's the logic he's hoping Dazai will accept.]

[Dazai does know that Chuuya is serious. That is the problem. Even if Chuuya is doing this for his own reasons, for him to willingly go against the mafia (or appear to be going against the mafia) like this, Chuuya must have some damn good motivation.

That, or Mori has tricked him into it somehow. Even if Chuuya is sincere, here, that doesn't mean there are no risks to Dazai and Chuuya both.]

Coming out with something like this suddenly, you can't expect me not to wonder where it came from.

[And he still is wondering, though that's not to say he won't accept their unofficial deal regardless.]

You haven't even thought about going against the Organization since you joined it.

[Only a slight exaggeration, really. But the point stands: this deal clearly compromises Chuuya's loyalty.]

[He knew Dazai wouldn't drop it that easily. He should have prepared a lie to give him, but Dazai would have seen through it, like he always does, so there wasn't really any point. But it's better than not having an answer he wants to give at all.

He signals to the bartender for another glass of wine.]

If you really decided to go against the Organization, my best bet for protecting my subordinates would be to strike a deal with you, right?

[Although the odds of the Port Mafia attacking the ADA is much higher. They both know that. Dazai might make smaller moves, might occasionally hinder some of their business dealings, steal some information, but... That's small scale, it's not really what Chuuya cares about here.]

I'm not going against the Organization.

[Mori would see that very differently, he knows.]

Edited 2022-04-20 23:07 (UTC)

[Mori would indeed see it very differently. Dazai isn't convinced that Chuuya himself doesn't see it differently, too - but whatever. He smiles, halfway mocking Chuuya, halfway reluctantly accepting the inevitable:]

Very well, then. If you don't want to tell, then don't.

[It's not exactly like Dazai always volunteers the truth, either. And, for better or worse, Chuuya's mind doesn't get changed once it's made up, least of all by force. Pretending not to care is the only thing that will give Dazai even a tiny chance of ever finding out what the hell Chuuya is thinking, here.

... Well... that, and alcohol. Which isn't his entire reason to hold out his glass for a toast, but it's part of it all the same.]

I accept.

[Chuuya feels some tension drain out of him as Dazai agrees to drop it. He can't tell Dazai the real reason, after all. It wouldn't get him anything. Not to mention the fact that Dazai wouldn't forgive him. He smiles, ignores the fact that Dazai's own smile is at least partially mocking, and takes his new glass of wine to clink it against Dazai's.]

I knew you would.

[Dazai gains too much from the deal, after all. Though the truth is he didn't know for sure, and it really wouldn't have mattered if Dazai did or not - Chuuya would have kept his half of the non-deal, in that ase, and Dazai could have done what he wanted. But Chuuya trusts him.

He'll drink some more wine, needing to forget about how annoyingly stressful this was.]

I'm surprised you chose a place with decent wine.

[Really, this whole conversation has been nothing but strange, and Chuuya's obvious relief isn't having it make any more sense. But it is what it is. Dazai has agreed to the deal, now. He may even stick to it, depending on circumstances.

Better to just drink for now. If he gets answers eventually, so much the better, but it won't kill him if he won't. (And since it won't kill him anyway, why would he care??)]

You're always complaining about my lack of taste, but you're still choosing to drink with me, Chuuya.

[Plus, yanno, the sex. But they are in public, and some things are better not said out loud.]

Guess my taste's pretty shit, too.

[Not his taste in wine, though. That one is clearly flawless. And much as he loves collecting expensive bottles, Chuuya isn't really a snob - it's more about insulting Dazai than actually caring too much, because if he wanted great wine he'd drink at home.

Which he could do. Although if he went there now, they'd end up fucking, and that might be a bad idea right now. There are still some things he needs to suppress.]

So why did you come here?

No shit.

[To coin a phrase. Mostly because Dazai isn't shit, though. It works both ways!]

I came here to drink, of course.

[Why else would one come to a bar, Chuuya? Don't be silly!

No, Dazai can just about guess what Chuuya is hinting at, but he chooses not to acknowledge it, also because... he only halfways wants to acknowledge his reasons for drinking, himself. Drinking is great! It makes you feel good. Why would he need more reasons than that?]

[You're definitely shit, Dazai. While Chuuya is clearly the shit. It's an important distinction.]

Not gonna spend time with your husband?

[Maybe, if he brings up Fyodor now, Dazai will think that's the reason why Chuuya is talking about being enemies. He doubts it will work - Dazai knows him too well - but it's worth a try. Besides, maybe it's time they talked about the rat. They've avoided it for too long.

Though he won't push the topic. He looks around the bar, taking in the different people there for a moment.]

So then who were you planning to get rejected by?

Hmm, maybe later. His tastes aren't always suitable for the general public, as you well know.

[Dazai should probably be surprised that Chuuya is aware of their little marriage game, or at least that Chuuya is playing along with it, but he's not. This is all within the realm of expectations.

What does it make Chuuya, then, if he's the mistress of them both? Food for thought.]

Didn't I say that I came here to drink? [Not to ~~get rejected~~ hit on women, jeez!] Well, if a beautiful lady showed up, I wouldn't say no.

[And yet he chose a quiet place, with mostly old men around. Make of that what you will.]

[He's definitely not playing along. He's making a point that he knows, which means he's absolutely going to involve himself where they don't want him from now on, just because he doesn't like being kept out of it. But whichever role they assign him, he's going to refuse.

Anyone who tries to say he's Dazai and Fyodor's dog is going to die.]

Same goes for your tastes.

[And Chuuya's, for that matter. But his tastes are clearly not the ones being judged here.]

Just making sure I don't need to protect anyone from you.

[Chuuya, you may be a bitch, but you're not a dog. Well... Maybe Mori's dog. But for the purposes of this threesome, double mistress seems a more fitting title. (... For some definitions of "fitting".)]

Then what does that make you, lusting after us both?

[Which is a rather fancy way of saying Chuuya wants their dick, but Dazai can choose to be poetic about these things if he wants. (But does he want?)]

You can't even protect yourself from me, Chuuya.

Lusting? [That is definitely not the term he would have used.] It just means I'm bored without a challenge.

[Partially true - Chuuya has definitely been bored by most people he's slept with over the years - but it doesn't even begin to really explain why he wants either of them. But there's no way he's going into detail about that with Dazai. His ego is big enough.

Even if those reasons are why he came here to have that conversation.]

I can handle you just fine on my own, Dazai.

[Wanting a challenge is fair enough, and Dazai can almost relate to it - if you ignore that whether he's willing to put in the required amount of work is like flipping a coin every time. But then, so few things are truly a challenge to him...]

Can you really?

[A dead serious question. The fact that they're both still alive sure suggests it's true, but that doesn't mean that Dazai wants to acknowledge it.]

I wouldn't recommend putting that to the test.

[If he was a little smug before, he isn't anymore. He really does mean it, in his own way: he'd rather not go all-out against Chuuya. Why that is... is something he'd rather not think about.]

[Chuuya just looks at him for a moment.]

I just told you I won't.

[Whether he thinks he'd win or not is irrelevant. It's up in the air, really. They both know each other too well, and while Dazai can plan counters for Chuuya's powers, can predict his movements, Chuuya can overwhelm him before he gets that chance. And it's not like Chuuya can't guess Dazai's plans, either. But none of that matters.

He doesn't want to know who'd win, but what he wants to do is keep distracting Dazai from that topic by annoying him anyway.]

Besides, going against you is boring when you're so lazy. I even have to go easy on you when we fuck.

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