indensity | when you're helpless, waiting to collide

when you're helpless, waiting to collide

[Chuuya has lost all track of time while he's been there. The drugs they've injected him with has him slipping in and out of consciousness, and it's making it difficult to think, made worse by the fact that every inch of his body seems to hurt. He only vaguely remembers the fight. He's pretty sure his coffee had been drugged when he bought it, that or his croissant, and then when he'd felt so dizzy only his ability could keep him standing, he'd been attacked out of nowhere by two ability users. One of them had some sort of lightning based ability, he's not sure about the other.

He's pretty sure he has a concussion.

He's been trying to gauge his injuries, figure out if he'll be able to move, trying to figure out a way to break himself free. He's chained up, but he should be able to break those if the drugs wear off. The door to this room looks solid, but he can break it. If not for the drugs.

At some point, someone comes into the room and injects him with another dose, and he loses all consciousness again. When he wakes up, he starts the thought process over. Where is he, can he fight, how will he get out. He's not the type to ever just wait to be rescued.]

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[Chuuya grins, and presses the knife to Dazai's throat, just because he can. Dazai knows there's no real danger, that Chuuya would never seriously hurt him, but Dazai's words sounded more like a challenge than a threat to him. Now he's even more tempted.

He drags the knife down, hooks it under some bandages, and slices through to expose more skin. He leans in to lick right up that space, still holding that knife there, the metal cold next to Chuuya's warm tongue. If Dazai moves too quickly he might cut him on accident now.]

I'm willing to make a few sacrifices.

[He can buy new clothes. Though he has no doubt that Dazai's revenge would be enough to make Chuuya regret it, sometimes he still just can't help himself. He drags the tip of the blade down a bit, letting it scratch but not cut, just testing his reactions.]

[Haha, sacrifices... If Chuuya thinks he can make Dazai one, too, he has another thing coming. Dazai behaves out of necessity at first, because while he doesn't think that Chuuya plans to seriously hurt him, there's also no guarantee that he won't, by design or by "accident" in a fit of rage. It might be fun to provoke Chuuya into killing him, just to make the guy suffer (... more) for the rest of his life, but Dazai wouldn't feel good about dying at Chuuya's hands, himself, and so he chooses not to.

Still, every passing second is too long for Dazai's limited patience with Chuuya's bullshit, and by the time Chuuya drags that knife, Dazai leans in. Not too much, of course; not enough to kill himself, or even injure him worth mentioning. But enough that the blade pierces skin.]

Are you really?

[Your move, chibi.]

[Chuuya's eyes widen as Dazai pushes against the knife, and reflexively he pulls it back. He stares at the blood now trickling down Dazai's chest, staining his bandages. And then he leans in, licks it all up, before grinning at Dazai.]

That one was your own fault. You can't get back at me for that.

[Chuuya presses the knife to Dazai's skin again, this time making sure to draw blood as he drags another line down his chest, parallel to the first. Again he leans in, drags his tongue over the wound, presses his mouth to it, staining his own lips red.]

But now you can. Though I'll keep going anyway.

[He really likes seeing these marks on Dazai's skin. It's not even deep enough to scar, but it's still satisfying.]

I wasn't planning to.

[Get back at Chuuya for his own actions, that is. He's not even lying: these things are rarely about proper revenge for him (at least: not consciously), if only because that would suggest that they're on the same level, and they're not. Clearly their interactions are only ever one-sided, with Dazai showing up to drop a metaphorical bomb, and Chuuya forced to deal with the damage.

Well... that's how Dazai likes to think of it, anyway. But even he can't claim that that's how it is now. This is... not a turn-on as such - pain has never been his thing, even if this is minor enough to ignore - but he's a little curious all the same. How far would Chuuya go? He raises a hand - slowly and visibly and not getting it anywhere near the knife - to brush a thumb over Chuuya's blood-stained lips, wiping the blood away... or spreading it around. Either way, Dazai's going to secretly wipe his hand on Chuuya's clothing later, because a promise is a promise.

Really, though... it's not a bad look on Chuuya at all. Dazai enjoys it. At times like this, quite randomly, he does feel a certain fondness for Chuuya - whatever that may mean.]

As expected of an attack dog... Try not to get rabies, hmm?

[A much better plan is for Chuuya to catch that thumb between his teeth, pulling it into his mouth so he can run his tongue over it. He doesn't bite, for once, but then he likes when Dazai touches him like that. Maybe he wants him to do it more.]

Are you saying I can catch it from you?

[Does that make Dazai the rabid dog here?

Chuuya turns the blade, pulls it down to loosen a few more of those bandages. Chuuya wonders how many he can get away with removing. He's surprised he's been allowed to do even this much, especially considering the bandages are important to Dazai, and how much he always claims to hate pain. But then Dazai has a complicated relationship with everything, that included. Chuuya is just going to enjoy it for as long as he's allowed.

It means he has access to a bit more skin that he can cut. This time he draws a horizontal line, a longer one, before pressing his knuckle right under it to make a bit more blood well up, trickle down. He's always loved the color of it.]

Maybe I should leave a scar. What do you think?

Don't you usually like catching?

[As opposed to pitching, haha. But whatever Dazai has, Chuuya shouldn't want to catch, that's for sure.

He's not fond of having his bandages messed with, it's true, but the damage is limited so far, and the balance between curiosity and annoyance is not yet flipping irreversibly to the latter. Besides, it really is sort of fun to see where Chuuya will take this, even if it's the equivalent of waving a feather toy at a lion and hoping it will continue to play, not maim. Sooner or later, the fun will cease, and measures will have to be taken.

But not yet.]

You think that would make you special?

[... Or Dazai could randomly decide to be a dick again. Welp, he lasted for like two whole seconds. Still, he thinks his point is fair! If Chuuya looks a bit further, there are plenty of old scars under those bandages, from all kinds of minor and major injuries, even if most are small and barely visible on pasty skin.

If Chuuya wants to stake any kind of claim on him, he's a few decades too late.]

[Chuuya isn't surprised when Dazai decides to be a dick. He knew it was inevitable, that he'd only be able to do so much before Dazai decided to turn the tables. He doesn't care. At least that's what his expression says, but someone paying attention might notice the way he hesitates for just a moment, tension slowing his movements before he makes his shoulders relax again. It's fine.

Normally he really wouldn't care, but it's difficult when he's been forced to realize how much he actually wants here. It would be easier if he'd been allowed to continue to ignore it.]

How many people would get this far?

[He could just do it. He's tempted. Instead he leans up to kiss Dazai, a rough press of lips, knife still held dangerously between them.]

But it's not about being special. It's just fun.

[That's a lie.]

As many as I'd let get this far?

[... Well, that's half true at best, but... there's certainly a core of truth to it. Dazai is, to his ever-lasting misfortune and to the detriment of all believers in karma, just that skilled.

But he's still not exactly invulnerable. He's not even, much as he would deny it, entirely without emotions, and kissing Chuuya does bring him some pleasure. He's not entirely sure himself why and how that works: even if he's allowing this, and Chuuya is basically walking right into his would-be trap, that's hardly an accomplishment. But there's still pleasure in going through this, stringing Chuuya along - and, of course, shutting him down when Dazai feels like it. Or that's his plan, at least. Maybe he just likes tempting fate, flirting with danger.

That's not even why he chuckles softly at Chuuya's words, though he can't resist pointing out the obvious.]

You've always been a terrible liar.

Exactly.

[He never said he was special because he forced Dazai into this position. Chuuya is stronger, but he hasn't done much to take advantage of that here, and what he has done so far Dazai has allowed. He knows that. Dazai could easily get out of the position Chuuya has him in - even now, Chuuya's legs are starting to get tired.

But how many people could scar Dazai because he let them?

And maybe that's what makes it tempting. It feels like it should prove something, except that he knows it doesn't. He bites at Dazai's lips instead. His other hand digs into Dazai's thigh, hopefully leaving more bruises, just like Chuuya promised, but the knife, for now, remains nothing but a threat.]

Shut up.

[Don't call him out. Especially when Dazai can't know what he wants. He kisses him again, harder.]

I'm starting to think you want me to do this.

[Dazai knows exactly what Chuuya wants, though. Dazai knows pretty much everything, for that matter! ... Or something close enough. He can pretend; he's mostly not even lying.

He does shut up, but only because they're kissing, clearly. His lips are mangled enough by now that he doesn't care to provoke more damage, thank you!! (No, actually, he doesn't care, period.)]

Not really. [He doesn't care too much about that, either. If only he did, he might be something like human.] But I am curious to see how far you'll dare to go.

[It might be a challenge, but it's not. It's just a far-too-dry observation - and close enough to the truth. Should he have not said anything..? Oh well, it's not like Chuuya doesn't know better than to believe him, anyway.]

Edited 2022-05-15 11:38 (UTC)

[It might not be as challenge, but it still sounds like one. That, or a warning, with the way Dazai says the word dare, like Chuuya should be worried about consequences here. But the thing is - he’s not, because whether it’s a challenge or a warning, it still sounds like permission. Dazai isn’t stopping him.

And he wants this. Too much.

He hates that he wants this. He hates that he’s been forced to acknowledge that he wants this. It was easier when he could deny everything, hide behind years of anger and bitterness, but… Maybe it had been inevitable. And he knows none of it is really an option, but. But it’s time to push those limits a little.]

As far as I feel like.

[He pushed Dazai back, up against the wall, and then slides the knife down, to a part of Dazai’s chest which would normally be hidden by bandages. And this time when he cuts, it goes deep, a straight line designed to leave an unmistakable scar. Maybe he’ll leave a second one, parallel to the first.

He realizes he’s suddenly painfully turned on by what he’s doing.]

[It honestly wasn't a warning, either, though there will certainly be consequences if Chuuya goes too far - whatever that will mean to Dazai at the time. (He's flexible!) But having Chuuya take it as one works well enough for Dazai, really.

Or it does until the real pain begins, and Dazai tries not to make a sound, but he soon can't help but groan. He forces the sound to turn into a chuckle, and honestly? It's not entirely fake. The situation amuses him, especially Chuuya's boldness when Dazai knows - when they both know - that Dazai could end this instantly or have a revenge that would leave Chuuya crying in the streets.

Maybe that's what's so good about this: a plan does tend to lose its entertainment value when the (usually entirely too predictable and hence pointless) execution has to follow. Dazai knows all the horrible things he could do here, but whether he will or won't, knowing them is enough.]

Aren't you bold today?

[And maybe it's a little funny that he can let Chuuya turn himself on like this, when Chuuya normally likes it the other way around. It feels a little bit like corruption (not the capital one!), twisting his preferences, if only for the moment.]

Are you finally going to kill me today, Chuuya~?

[No, actually: that is a lot further than Dazai intends to let this go. But it's fun to tease with, the appropriate kind of dirty talk for the moment.]

[Maybe it is corrupting him. Chuuya is being selfish, taking something that he wants, something he definitely shouldn't have. And he knows he'll never actually have a claim to Dazai, knows better than to ask for it, but at the very least this will prove that he's left a mark. And he wants him. That want is getting harder and harder to ignore.]

Shut up.

[He drags the blade across this time. That chuckle sounds good, makes Chuuya smile, because it's still a reaction from Dazai, even if it's not one of pain. And Chuuya doesn't want to cause him pain, exactly. Not this time at least.]

That's the opposite of what I want.

[The bandages are getting stained a deep red now. This time when Chuuya leans in, licks across one of the cuts, his lips turn just as red, and the taste of copper on his tongue makes him feel alive. He wants more than just this now, but he's not sure exactly what. Maybe just to jerk Dazai off until he can force sounds of pleasure out of him.]

It's a promise that I'm keeping you alive.

[His legs are starting to shake from carrying the weight of Dazai like this, and it's affecting his balance, just a little. The position really isn't the best one, but he ignores it, or tries to. He's not ready to move just yet.]

[Ahhh... Chuuya would say that. It's not false either, Dazai knows, but it's still the opposite of what Dazai wants, in a way, and that makes him pettily annoyed. Chuuya doesn't get to keep him alive against his wishes, when the time comes. Even if part of Dazai does think that Chuuya's determination on that front is sort of cute, that in itself makes him more annoyed about the whole thing.

Chuuya may not be ready to move, but Dazai is: as long as Chuuya is rapidly losing strength in his legs, Dazai is going to be an asshole and shift his balance, pushing off the wall to hopefully make Chuuya fall back, and land on top of him. Maybe the knife will do some real damage in the process and maybe it won't, but Dazai doesn't care: it's his own move, and hence the consequences are irrelevant.]

[There’s really no way for Chuuya to brace himself or stop the fall from this position. Dazai pushes forward, and Chuuya tips backwards, his grip on Dazai’s thigh tightening reflexively and doing exactly nothing to help. He twists the knife away from Dazai to protect him.

He lands hard, barely able to prevent his head from hitting the ground. His shoulders take the brunt of the fall. And — the knife has cut into his own chest instead, but he doesn’t think it’s deep, so he’s not going to worry about it.]

I was wondering how far I’d get.

[The pain is irrelevant. He grins up at Dazai with his still bloody smile.]

[The landing is rough, but Dazai doesn't care, even if his human-shaped landing pad is nothing to brag about. (Too hard! Too many muscles.) It's good enough, and Chuuya's implied acknowledgement that Dazai was always going to win in the end is incredibly pleasing. (Maybe Dazai's been more turned on by this than he realized.)]

Satisfied?

[Not waiting for a reply - that can follow whenever! - Dazai licks at Chuuya's mouth, lapping up the blood staining it.

His blood! No touchy.]

Edited 2022-05-17 10:32 (UTC)

[Chuuya shifts under him, tries to pull his hand out in between them, but the knife gets caught on the fabric of his vest. So he keeps it there, tries to keep it angled away from both of them. Cutting Dazai is only acceptable if it's deliberate.

And he's definitely satisfied with not replying immediately when Dazai does that. He parts his lips slightly, and then, after a moment, leans up, tries to capture that tongue for an actual kiss. He has the right to taste that blood, and if they can share the taste of it that just makes this all the more intimate.]

For now.

[That could be a warning, but really, uncomfortable though this position is (and it really is - he has a small rock digging into his left shoulder), he's definitely content to stay like this under Dazai at the moment.]

[Dazai doesn't object to the kiss, as it happens. Because he is turned on - whatever random combination of factors conspired to create that state in him (but it was mostly Chuuya basically acknowledging that Dazai always wins in the end, let's face it) - and he wants this too. And now that he wants it, he will have it.

The kiss stays fairly gentle on his end, though not lacking in passion. Dazai is not a patient man, though, and things will move fast after that.]

I knew you wouldn't last.

[But somehow, that's not a complaint, even if it's not by definition a compliment, either.

Enough of this ~~foreplay~~ procrastination! Dazai pushes himself up just far enough that he can open Chuuya's pants and pull them down - barely enough to serve, but that will do. He's not in any mood to prepare Chuuya, especially since Chuuya seems to prefer to skip that step as often as not - but he'll still wait to see how Chuuya responds before proceeding.]

[The kiss is perfect. Chuuya was rough enough earlier, so something more gentle is a nice contrast, especially when Dazai is still obviously into it. Chuuya lets him set the pace, doesn't try to get him to change it up, just matches Dazai's intensity. His eyes close for a second.]

I could have if I wanted.

[And that's the thing: He never really wants to. He wants this. Dazai moves, and Chuuya quickly wipes the knife clean on his own shirt, before replacing it in its sheath. He'll let Dazai move and strip him, too, though he's incredibly aware that they're in an alley, that Chuuya is the one lying on the filthy ground, that being fucked here is going to get him bruised and scraped raw, that anyone could turn that corner and see.

And with Dazai barely pulling his pants down, his legs are effectively restrained, too. But it might be better than being stripped right here.]

At least use lube this time. You know I have some in my pocket.

Mhm, maybe you could have, at that.

[It's still a serious maybe, in Dazai's opinion, but Chuuya's point stands: he really is choosing this. It makes no sense to Dazai; he can analyze it, sure, but not understand it. (Isn't that his whole deal with humanity, though?)

That's fine. Chuuya is still choosing this, choosing him, and in spite of everything, that is kind of satisfying. Dazai isn't sure himself why that is, and he makes a point of immediately cutting short any thoughts in that direction. He doesn't want to know why he cares, and less so when the topic brings a rat's words echoing back through his head. Maybe he's just horny! Isn't that reason enough? He's getting what he wants here, too.]

...

[Part of him thinks he should refuse Chuuya's request to prove that he doesn't really care, but doing so would also mean that he does care, and so he refuses to refuse it. Less thinking, more fucking. He's finally properly turned on, and Chuuya is right here; Dazai isn't about to let feelings get in his way, either positively or negatively.

He really needs to hurry, before his mood drops and he doesn't even feel like fucking anymore. Grabbing the lube, he applies it to his fingers, pushing two into Chuuya without delay.]

[Chuuya would definitely have said that he's just horny. He wants sex - it's a good excuse! And the truth is too complicated to explain anyway. Being with Dazai is a thrill, a challenge, means always having his buttons pushed. It pisses him off, leaves him humiliated, but at the same time --

He'd never be able to explain why he likes this bastard, but he trusts him. There's no one else he could trust like this. In a way he even likes their arguments for their familiarity, burning hot and fast, leaving him with his head feeling clearer afterwards. It's not like Dazai doesn't go too far sometimes (a lot of the time), but somehow that doesn't matter. It doesn't change a single fucking thing. But then it's not like Chuuya is happy about wanting him like this.

He holds back a grunt as Dazai shoves those fingers into him.]

Considering I'm the one who cares about my clothes, shouldn't you be the one on the ground?

[Though wait - Dazai promised to ruin his clothes, didn't he? Shit.]

[Realization is visible on Chuuya's face, and Dazai just smiles, making a point of working Chuuya open in an effort to quell any ragesplosions before they even begin. After all, while he enjoys pushing Chuuya's buttons, going back to a fist fight when they could be engaging in other physical button-pushing would lose Dazai's interest really fast.]

I care about my bandages too, Chuuya.

[Less so his clothes. Probably not really his bandages either, since they're a part of his body, but, you know... Dazai is not on this earth to tell life's great truths. That said, he's probably not technically on this earth to fuck with people, either, but even a human-reject needs a hobby.

And speaking of that: he adds a third finger, alternatively thrusting and lightly spreading them in Chuuya's ass.]

How about you ask nicely?

[It's that smile that really makes Chuuya want to punch him. Smug bastard. He made a promise to himself once, years ago, to never let Dazai get away with being that smug, but it's a promise he's always breaking. Those fingers are a good distraction, making him grunt a little, shifting like he wants to spread his legs apart. The way his pants are keeping them closer together is making everything feel more tight.

He really wants to be fucked like that. He can feel his stomach twisting in anticipation.]

I already ruined your bandages.

[Some of them, at least. Red really does look good on Dazai, he thinks.]

Like hell I'll beg for you.

This is proper repayment then, isn't it?

[Not that Dazai really cares about what's proper in any way, but it's a convenient narrative to follow in most situations. For some reason people tend to have a hard time arguing with what common society deems correct! Imagine that. The lack of creativity... and intelligence.

Speaking of which (not really): Chuuya is so incredibly predictable, and in many ways Dazai doesn't even mind it, but... there are times, like this, when it throws up a whole slew of unnecessary complications. Dazai's smirk widens.]

Would you care to bet on that?

[He hadn't planned to go so far as to make Chuuya beg - apart from anything else: that seems like it would take a lot of work for comparatively little result - but with Chuuya's statement, avoiding it becomes all but impossible. You really only have yourself to blame for this, Chuu!

Dazai keeps fingering Chuuya, but lazily. If Chuuya isn't going to beg, he'll need to at least offer something else for Dazai to keep this particular game going!]

[Chuuya knows Dazai doesn't care about what's proper. He cares about what he can use to his advantage, what will help him win, come out on top, and he'd call Dazai out on that if there was any point. Because Dazai did also promise to ruin Chuuya's clothes, and he keeps his promises, which means Chuuya won't be arguing his way out of this one.

And he's distracted. He doesn't really care how uncomfortable this is going to be. He groans as those fingers move, getting him ready, and then --

Shit.]

Dazai.

[He shouldn't be surprised. He's not, but he hadn't been thinking about what he was saying, how Dazai would definitely react. Fuck.]

You piece of shit. Come on, asshole.

[He's sounding needier than he normally would be this quickly. Normally he'd need to be pretty drunk before he'd let himself slip like that, before he could be open about how much he wants, but this evening and his feelings have been fucking with him. He still doesn't want to give in, at least not without a fight, but he doesn't want to drag this out too much either. He glances down the alley, making sure that it's clear, wondering how long before someone discovers them.

No matter what he does, this is going to get embarrassing.]

What if I just say no to the bet? Can't you just continue?

when you're helpless, waiting to collide

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