[He absolutely knows that Dazai will claim that he owes him. But maybe Chuuya can get away with arguing that what he owes is actually just calling Dazai a bastard, as promised. He doubts it can work, but either way, it's a problem for future him.
He looks up at the kiss, surprised, but it's only a second before he turns his head away again. It felt a little too nice for something so small, and he's not sure what to do with that feeling, or the strange warmth spreading from the point where Dazai's lips pressed against his head. He's smiling. He's not even aware of it.]
I guess we can play the part of newlyweds while we're here. They give you special treatment for that, right?
[Clearly that's why they're doing this: Cuddling in public and being... soft? That can't be right. Not that he'd be willing to stop.]
[It's not like Dazai hasn't already (ab)used some misconceptions on their alleged wedding, but Chuuya suggesting they spread the misinformation more actively still makes him stop and think for a moment - which he does, and continues to do, though the part he talks about is not the part he's thinking about, really.]
Mhm, but are you sure you can handle that? You're already all shades of red, and the sun has barely touched you.
[Which is to say: clearly Chuuya is way more easily embarrassed than Dazai about these things. (Or Dazai is just shameless. Could be that.)
On that note, Dazai makes a mental note to himself to "forget" to rub lotion on a random heart-shaped spot on Chuuya's back, whenever it comes to more time in the sun. Would be cute to see Chuuya with a heart-shaped mark - especially if Chuuya doesn't realize it's there!]
[Of course Dazai has to call him out like that. Chuuya reaches up and tries to slap a hand over his mouth, even though that has never worked any of the many other times that he's tried it.]
Shut up.
[Of course it's embarrassing, but they're doing all the newlyweds-type behavior anyway, and Chuuya is definitely going to end up embarrassed either way, so Dazai really doesn't have to say anything. This is, apparently, happening. And Chuuya is already a little too flustered at that thought to come up with anything to defend himself.
But maybe that's a good thing. It's distracting him from thinking too deeply about what all of that actually means.]
If we're pretending to be married I'd have to call you Osamu, though, and it's harder to yell that angrily.
[Flawless logic and excellent priorities, right there.]
[No matter how familiar Dazai is with Chuuya's inability to drink, the speed and severity of the effects still surprise him sometimes. Chuuya's hand, therefore, finds its target - though that's also because Dazai didn't try to stop it.
They both end up looking kind of awkward. Thankfully Dazai doesn't care. He will, however, eventually try to move Chuuya's hand away, if Chuuya doesn't remove it himself, since it's hard to have a conversation otherwise. He hopes Chuuya will be nice about it, but licking Chuuya's hand is always a back-up option. (It just seems like a back-up option that will get Dazai punched, considering the circumstances, so he's not that eager to risk it if he doesn't have to.)]
[Chuuya doesn't resist when Dazai moves his hand away again. He's still too comfortable to want to ruin it, too relaxed to really be upset or annoyed for more than a moment. Sure, Dazai has him flustered again, but if being teased like this was enough to make him not want to be close anymore, then he wouldn't be here at all. It was always inevitable. He knew that. He knows Dazai. He wants Dazai.
And he also isn't one to back down from a challenge. He said he'd say it angrily, though, so that's what he's doing, even if he doesn't actually mean it.]
Osamu. Osamu. Osamuu--
[He tries it with a few different inflections, but the anger doesn't come across the way he'd want. That might be because of how intimate it feels to use his given name, though. Dazai uses his, but so does everyone. Then again, the two of them stopped using honorifics pretty much the same day they met, so the lines there have always been blurred. They were always different. If anyone has the right to use Osamu, it's him.
If he rationalizes it like that, maybe he can pretend his reaction isn't as strong as it is.]
[Ohno... It's always right when Dazai thinks that Chuuya couldn't be more adorable that he does, indeed, rise to the challenge (though not necessarily the challenge originally thrown out there!). And it's true: only Chuuya has the right to call Dazai "Osamu", really. Sometimes Dazai thinks that that's why Chuuya doesn't, normally: because there's nothing to gain from it.
Nothing to lose either, though. It does feel kind of intimate, but not in a bad way.]
Are you going to be one of those old western ladies that say someone's full name when they're mad at them? [Pensively, Dazai starts stroking Chuuya's hair again. (Really, it's soft and it's there, what else is he supposed to do?!)] Because if that's the plan, we should probably get a few extra names, while we're at it.
[Not really - but who cares? He's just making conversation. And possibly opening them up to a nickname or two that isn't an insult, but there's no real need for those, either.]
[Having the right isn't the same as being given permission, the way Dazai just did. But that's what a lot of this relationship has been for them: finally acknowledging something that's been true for a long time. Finally allowing themselves to actually have this. Sure, it's scary in a weird way, but it also feels good.
(Which is probably what's scary.)
But the way Dazai is petting his hair again also feels good. It's at Dazai's own risk, because Chuuya isn't going to fight the way it makes him melt and relax. He closes his eyes, just enjoying it, wondering if he should climb fully on top of Dazai and use him as a bed, in spite of the heat and the fact that they're in public.]
I already have a ton of extra names for you. [But the mental image of what Dazai said actually makes him huff out a laugh, so he'll go along with it.] But how about Dazai Crabcake Osamu.
[Chuuya melting and relaxing has definitely been calculated in; anything more not quite, but the possibility hasn't been fully disregarded either. Few of the possible outcomes here could truly be negative, and Dazai, for one, would be happy to temp fate a little, even if he considered any negative outcomes as likely. They're on vacation! They can do whatever they damn well please.]
Ooooh, is that my own version of beefcake~?
[He won't disturb Chuuya's position more than necessary, but he will lift a leg and put the previously petting hand behind his head to pose a bit. He's sexy and he knows it~! (Now if only anyone in the world could figure out why!)]
[Chuuya opens his eyes again so he can take in Dazai's pose, and this time his laugh is actually a full one. It's ridiculous. Dazai is ridiculous. So maybe he'll forgive him for that pause in petting.]
Since you'll never have any actual beefcake.
[He lightly slaps Dazai's hip to illustrate his point, hand curling to reach his lack of an ass before pulling back again. There's nothing there. But Chuuya does find him sexy, and could list a number of reasons why, if he felt like it and wasn't too embarrassed by the thought.]
[Dazai gives a soft but exaggerated little "ow~!" in response before curling his leg around Chuuya in would-be revenge. He also resumes petting, though, so he's clearly not at all bothered.]
I don't want any actual beefcake.
[Imagine him bulky. Just imagine. What a horrifying vision of a monster! Even disregarding the fact that he wouldn't dream of putting in the amount of energy it would take to grow real, actual muscles, what would the benefit even be? It's a waste of time and resources, actually!
Though, speaking of beef:]
Guess you'll have to get your steak elsewhere.
[Just not his sex. That said, maybe this could count as distant dinner plans?]
[The leg around him is a bit awkward. Chuuya wraps his arm more firmly around Dazai's chest, as though having limbs on top of each other is some sort of competition, or maybe it's just because it jostled him and he doesn't want to lose his comfortable bed. But once Dazai is petting him again, it doesn't take long before he's relaxed.]
Steak was never my favorite kind of meat.
[Well, if they're talking about dinner, then he obviously has no objections if they decide to go for steak. Not that Dazai has ever been able to finish a whole steak dinner in his life.]
And I love sucking the marrow out of some good crab legs.
[He hopes no one's listening to their conversation.]
[Meanwhile, Dazai hopes that people are listening to their conversation. Or at least he's happy to broadcast this weird, happy mood, and he doesn't care who picks up on it. Basically the same thing!]
... Only the legs?
[Listen, if you're going to bring the bad innuendo, Dazai will build on that in whichever way he sees fit! May as well be extremely blunt about it.]
[If Chuuya is really worried about being overheard, he should probably lift his head to check if anyone is nearby, but he really is too relaxed. He'll worry about it later, probably, if he remembers. Then again, he has better things to think about while they're here.]
Of course not. Unlike you, I always finish my meals.
[The innuendo only sort of makes sense, but that doesn't matter. It's true about Chuuya no matter how you interpret it; it's true about Dazai only when it comes to actual food. Chuuya has no complaints otherwise.
Not that he can't make it sound like a challenge anyway.]
[Maybe it's just them, but Chuuya likes that they can do this in public, that to other people they are just a normal - if a bit obnoxious - couple. He likes that they can have this.
He also likes that massage a lot. He lets out a small, appreciative noise, and considers if he should just drift off like this after all. He would, except he doesn't need the sleep, and he likes the slightly teasing conversation they're having.]
I think I'm in the mood for something I can really take my time with and savor. Maybe something spicy.
[Except he's never the most patient during sex. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it when Dazai drags things out, though.]
That's certainly an option. With some extra protein for you..?
[Dragging things out is definitely something that Chuuya will regret, but that suits Dazai just fine. He hadn't planned to make anything too easy for Chuuya anyway, but it is still nice to make Chuuya say these things, admit that he likes it - before Dazai inevitably makes him regret it (for a short while, anyway).
Dazai leans in to Chuuya's ear - as much as he can in this position - and adds a whisper.]
[The way Dazai whispers in his ear would have been enough to raise a few goosebumps on its own. Chuuya feels a slight shiver travel down his spine as the implication of those words hit him, and it's causing a delay before he can actually answer. Chuuya really needs to learn to be more careful about what he says.]
You know what I say while you're stroking my hair doesn't count!
[Dazai definitely doesn't know that. Maybe Chuuya would call that a rule, but Dazai has always made his own rules.]
Besides, there's savoring, and then there's torture.
[Not that he really wants to take his own words back.]
[That is definitely a rule that Dazai has never agreed to. It doesn't make any sense, either! Why would he give up a perfectly good way of cheating like that??
But fine, if Chuuya is going to complain, Dazai will let him know what exactly he's going to (not really) be missing out on. Dazai leans back in his seat, giving up his gentle scalp massage in favor of letting his arm drape limply over Chuuya.]
And sometimes they're the same thing! [Savoring for Dazai, and torture for Chuuya - but still! Dazai tells no lies. (Except when he does. But he doesn't even need to, here!)] Besides, I thought it was stroking other parts of you that made what you say not count?? [Huff and puff! His life is so hard!!] Any more, and I won't even be able to touch you anymore.
[Chuuya lifts his head slightly when Dazai removes his hand. He wants to object, but he holds himself back, even if Dazai is clearly being unfair. Sure, it's the obvious solution to Chuuya's new "rule," but that doesn't mean Dazai gets to take advantage of it!]
I didn't say you can't touch me!
[Obviously. Just that Dazai can't use Chuuya's confessions against him. Chuuya pauses though, considering his odds of winning this stand-off, if he decides to make it one. Chuuya is stubborn, but -
Dazai already knows Chuuya will give in, so his odds are at less than zero.]
Fine. But I still get to complain while you torture me.
[Complain, beg, turn into an incoherent mess... It's all the same thing, right?]
[The "no touchy" was implied, Chuuya, gosh!! But sure, fine, Dazai will resume now that that middle ground has been found again. What a glorious compromise: Dazai gets to do whatever he wants, and Chuuya gets to show off his multitasking skills by complaining and begging! It's almost like a summary of their entire relationship so far. (Admittedly Chuuya's multitasking skills have varied a bit over time.)]
If you want me to touch you, that's fine to say, you know?
[Because clearly Dazai is dumb and can't guess these things! Everybody knows that!!
Regardless, he does resume with the light head scritches. It's the doggy style.]
[As soon as the scritches resume, Chuuya settles back down again. It does feel a little embarrassing to admit, though. Dazai might claim that it's fine to say, but it wasn't that long ago when Chuuya wouldn't have been able to bring himself to do it at all. It would have resulted in a standoff, and then they would have stopped what they were doing, and then Dazai would have left. Eventually they would have forgotten about it, and gone back to normal. Then it would have happened again.
Admitting that he wants something like this always felt too vulnerable, though. Chuuya would have initiated sex when he wanted to be close, as a less embarrassing workaround.
He has to admit, though, this is a lot better. He gets the sex. He gets this, too. It's embarrassing, but it's -- it's safe. It's nice. Dazai might be a little more smug for a bit, but it's fine.]
I want you to touch me. I want a lot of things when it's you.
[Admittedly, the alcohol does help. But he can't really fully blame it on that now.]
[Alcohol always helps, but it tends to (certainly at these limited quantities) lower inhibitions, if that - not change someone's entire personality. Admittedly, Dazai might have originally tried it on Chuuya if it actually changed his personality, too, but... they're a little beyond that, now. While there are many ways in which they may not see eye to eye (yes, also because Chuuya is too short to do so!), somehow they fit together, just as they are. And that is certainly something special, especially for people like them.
Dazai probably shouldn't push his luck, but hearing Chuuya be so honest makes him want to reward him, regardless of any potential consequences. At least it's a risk willingly and lovingly taken, not deliberate self-sabotage! He leans in for another low-voiced whisper.]
[He really is behaving too well, isn't he? He's making this too easy for Dazai. He should object to the praise, the way he usually does unless they're already in the middle of sex, but...
He can't deny the way those words get to him. It causes a tingling sensation all the way down his spine, interest and excitement, making him look forward to returning to the hotel room together. And he really is enjoying this too much anyway. Dazai isn't the only one of them who usually self-sabotages in these situations, and he's not the only one who doesn't want to do that right now.]
You better be planning to fuck me until I can't even think straight later.
[Clearly that's the only reason why he's behaving!]
[Mostly when it comes to the opposite of gay, though Dazai would gladly tease at it meaning something far broader. That would be only teasing, however. Thinking might not be Chuuya's particular forte - not to the level that it's Dazai's - but that hardly means that Chuuya is incapable of it.
Well, he doesn't want to (seem to) be too mean, so maybe he'll give Chuuya a quick forehead kiss for a distraction.]
Next thing, you'll be telling me you want to go back to the hotel already.
[Dazai wouldn't mind, honestly. It may not have been the original plan, but Dazai's plans are more of a roadmap than a singular line, anyway.
Maybe he should have brought out the toys already! But then, he does want to keep some options for escalation open to a little later in their vacation.]
[He lifts a hand and waves it in the direction of Dazai's face, like he wants to slap him or maybe cover his mouth to shut him up, except that he can't be bothered to even lift his head and look to make sure he hits his target, or hits anything at all, and he's not putting any strength into it either. He knows Dazai's just making another bad joke. And the kiss does distract him.]
I have to set the bar low so even your lazy ass can achieve it.
[And you know what, why not make that into a challenge for later. That definitely can't backfire, considering Chuuya has already been promised regrets. He shouldn't think about that too much, though, unless he does want to drag Dazai back with him immediately.]
Of course I wanna go back to the hotel. [Obviously he's horny.] Doesn't mean I don't wanna stay here, too. I wanna do stupid tourist things with you.
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He looks up at the kiss, surprised, but it's only a second before he turns his head away again. It felt a little too nice for something so small, and he's not sure what to do with that feeling, or the strange warmth spreading from the point where Dazai's lips pressed against his head. He's smiling. He's not even aware of it.]
I guess we can play the part of newlyweds while we're here. They give you special treatment for that, right?
[Clearly that's why they're doing this: Cuddling in public and being... soft? That can't be right. Not that he'd be willing to stop.]
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Mhm, but are you sure you can handle that? You're already all shades of red, and the sun has barely touched you.
[Which is to say: clearly Chuuya is way more easily embarrassed than Dazai about these things. (Or Dazai is just shameless. Could be that.)
On that note, Dazai makes a mental note to himself to "forget" to rub lotion on a random heart-shaped spot on Chuuya's back, whenever it comes to more time in the sun. Would be cute to see Chuuya with a heart-shaped mark - especially if Chuuya doesn't realize it's there!]
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Shut up.
[Of course it's embarrassing, but they're doing all the newlyweds-type behavior anyway, and Chuuya is definitely going to end up embarrassed either way, so Dazai really doesn't have to say anything. This is, apparently, happening. And Chuuya is already a little too flustered at that thought to come up with anything to defend himself.
But maybe that's a good thing. It's distracting him from thinking too deeply about what all of that actually means.]
If we're pretending to be married I'd have to call you Osamu, though, and it's harder to yell that angrily.
[Flawless logic and excellent priorities, right there.]
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They both end up looking kind of awkward. Thankfully Dazai doesn't care. He will, however, eventually try to move Chuuya's hand away, if Chuuya doesn't remove it himself, since it's hard to have a conversation otherwise. He hopes Chuuya will be nice about it, but licking Chuuya's hand is always a back-up option. (It just seems like a back-up option that will get Dazai punched, considering the circumstances, so he's not that eager to risk it if he doesn't have to.)]
Are you saying you're not up for that challenge~?
[Call him Osamu then, he dares you!]
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And he also isn't one to back down from a challenge. He said he'd say it angrily, though, so that's what he's doing, even if he doesn't actually mean it.]
Osamu. Osamu. Osamuu--
[He tries it with a few different inflections, but the anger doesn't come across the way he'd want. That might be because of how intimate it feels to use his given name, though. Dazai uses his, but so does everyone. Then again, the two of them stopped using honorifics pretty much the same day they met, so the lines there have always been blurred. They were always different. If anyone has the right to use Osamu, it's him.
If he rationalizes it like that, maybe he can pretend his reaction isn't as strong as it is.]
Maybe I should only use Osamu when I'm not angry.
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Nothing to lose either, though. It does feel kind of intimate, but not in a bad way.]
Are you going to be one of those old western ladies that say someone's full name when they're mad at them? [Pensively, Dazai starts stroking Chuuya's hair again. (Really, it's soft and it's there, what else is he supposed to do?!)] Because if that's the plan, we should probably get a few extra names, while we're at it.
[Not really - but who cares? He's just making conversation. And possibly opening them up to a nickname or two that isn't an insult, but there's no real need for those, either.]
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(Which is probably what's scary.)
But the way Dazai is petting his hair again also feels good. It's at Dazai's own risk, because Chuuya isn't going to fight the way it makes him melt and relax. He closes his eyes, just enjoying it, wondering if he should climb fully on top of Dazai and use him as a bed, in spite of the heat and the fact that they're in public.]
I already have a ton of extra names for you. [But the mental image of what Dazai said actually makes him huff out a laugh, so he'll go along with it.] But how about Dazai Crabcake Osamu.
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Ooooh, is that my own version of beefcake~?
[He won't disturb Chuuya's position more than necessary, but he will lift a leg and put the previously petting hand behind his head to pose a bit. He's sexy and he knows it~! (Now if only anyone in the world could figure out why!)]
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Since you'll never have any actual beefcake.
[He lightly slaps Dazai's hip to illustrate his point, hand curling to reach his lack of an ass before pulling back again. There's nothing there. But Chuuya does find him sexy, and could list a number of reasons why, if he felt like it and wasn't too embarrassed by the thought.]
Crabs are just bone and so are you.
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I don't want any actual beefcake.
[Imagine him bulky. Just imagine. What a horrifying vision of a monster! Even disregarding the fact that he wouldn't dream of putting in the amount of energy it would take to grow real, actual muscles, what would the benefit even be? It's a waste of time and resources, actually!
Though, speaking of beef:]
Guess you'll have to get your steak elsewhere.
[Just not his sex. That said, maybe this could count as distant dinner plans?]
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Steak was never my favorite kind of meat.
[Well, if they're talking about dinner, then he obviously has no objections if they decide to go for steak. Not that Dazai has ever been able to finish a whole steak dinner in his life.]
And I love sucking the marrow out of some good crab legs.
[He hopes no one's listening to their conversation.]
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... Only the legs?
[Listen, if you're going to bring the bad innuendo, Dazai will build on that in whichever way he sees fit! May as well be extremely blunt about it.]
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Of course not. Unlike you, I always finish my meals.
[The innuendo only sort of makes sense, but that doesn't matter. It's true about Chuuya no matter how you interpret it; it's true about Dazai only when it comes to actual food. Chuuya has no complaints otherwise.
Not that he can't make it sound like a challenge anyway.]
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What else do you want to eat, hmm~?
[Say it if you dare, Chuuya! Dazai will even upgrade the lazy hair pets to something more like a gentle scalp massage, just for encouragement.]
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He also likes that massage a lot. He lets out a small, appreciative noise, and considers if he should just drift off like this after all. He would, except he doesn't need the sleep, and he likes the slightly teasing conversation they're having.]
I think I'm in the mood for something I can really take my time with and savor. Maybe something spicy.
[Except he's never the most patient during sex. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it when Dazai drags things out, though.]
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[Dragging things out is definitely something that Chuuya will regret, but that suits Dazai just fine. He hadn't planned to make anything too easy for Chuuya anyway, but it is still nice to make Chuuya say these things, admit that he likes it - before Dazai inevitably makes him regret it (for a short while, anyway).
Dazai leans in to Chuuya's ear - as much as he can in this position - and adds a whisper.]
Don't forget you said that, now.
[Yup. There will be regret.]
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You know what I say while you're stroking my hair doesn't count!
[Dazai definitely doesn't know that. Maybe Chuuya would call that a rule, but Dazai has always made his own rules.]
Besides, there's savoring, and then there's torture.
[Not that he really wants to take his own words back.]
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But fine, if Chuuya is going to complain, Dazai will let him know what exactly he's going to (not really) be missing out on. Dazai leans back in his seat, giving up his gentle scalp massage in favor of letting his arm drape limply over Chuuya.]
And sometimes they're the same thing! [Savoring for Dazai, and torture for Chuuya - but still! Dazai tells no lies. (Except when he does. But he doesn't even need to, here!)] Besides, I thought it was stroking other parts of you that made what you say not count?? [Huff and puff! His life is so hard!!] Any more, and I won't even be able to touch you anymore.
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I didn't say you can't touch me!
[Obviously. Just that Dazai can't use Chuuya's confessions against him. Chuuya pauses though, considering his odds of winning this stand-off, if he decides to make it one. Chuuya is stubborn, but -
Dazai already knows Chuuya will give in, so his odds are at less than zero.]
Fine. But I still get to complain while you torture me.
[Complain, beg, turn into an incoherent mess... It's all the same thing, right?]
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If you want me to touch you, that's fine to say, you know?
[Because clearly Dazai is dumb and can't guess these things! Everybody knows that!!
Regardless, he does resume with the light head scritches. It's the doggy style.]
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Admitting that he wants something like this always felt too vulnerable, though. Chuuya would have initiated sex when he wanted to be close, as a less embarrassing workaround.
He has to admit, though, this is a lot better. He gets the sex. He gets this, too. It's embarrassing, but it's -- it's safe. It's nice. Dazai might be a little more smug for a bit, but it's fine.]
I want you to touch me. I want a lot of things when it's you.
[Admittedly, the alcohol does help. But he can't really fully blame it on that now.]
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Dazai probably shouldn't push his luck, but hearing Chuuya be so honest makes him want to reward him, regardless of any potential consequences. At least it's a risk willingly and lovingly taken, not deliberate self-sabotage! He leans in for another low-voiced whisper.]
That's why you're such a good boy.
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He can't deny the way those words get to him. It causes a tingling sensation all the way down his spine, interest and excitement, making him look forward to returning to the hotel room together. And he really is enjoying this too much anyway. Dazai isn't the only one of them who usually self-sabotages in these situations, and he's not the only one who doesn't want to do that right now.]
You better be planning to fuck me until I can't even think straight later.
[Clearly that's the only reason why he's behaving!]
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[Mostly when it comes to the opposite of gay, though Dazai would gladly tease at it meaning something far broader. That would be only teasing, however. Thinking might not be Chuuya's particular forte - not to the level that it's Dazai's - but that hardly means that Chuuya is incapable of it.
Well, he doesn't want to (seem to) be too mean, so maybe he'll give Chuuya a quick forehead kiss for a distraction.]
Next thing, you'll be telling me you want to go back to the hotel already.
[Dazai wouldn't mind, honestly. It may not have been the original plan, but Dazai's plans are more of a roadmap than a singular line, anyway.
Maybe he should have brought out the toys already! But then, he does want to keep some options for escalation open to a little later in their vacation.]
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[He lifts a hand and waves it in the direction of Dazai's face, like he wants to slap him or maybe cover his mouth to shut him up, except that he can't be bothered to even lift his head and look to make sure he hits his target, or hits anything at all, and he's not putting any strength into it either. He knows Dazai's just making another bad joke. And the kiss does distract him.]
I have to set the bar low so even your lazy ass can achieve it.
[And you know what, why not make that into a challenge for later. That definitely can't backfire, considering Chuuya has already been promised regrets. He shouldn't think about that too much, though, unless he does want to drag Dazai back with him immediately.]
Of course I wanna go back to the hotel. [Obviously he's horny.] Doesn't mean I don't wanna stay here, too. I wanna do stupid tourist things with you.
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