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[Chuuya had felt groggy and unfocused since he woke up, a feeling not even coffee had been able to make a dent in. He'd gotten to work purely on muscle memory, and then he'd mostly stared at his desk until Kouyou dropped by for lunch and ordered him to go home and sleep it off.

He wasn't sure there was anything to sleep off, but he didn't argue with his Ane-san.

And then he'd gone home, and passed out, and woken up about an hour later as panic gripped his chest tight.

Dazai.

He had to find Dazai.

He hurried out of his apartment, grabbed his motorcycle for speed, and set off in the direction of Dazai's place. Would he even be at his place? Or with that Agency of his? He'd check both, if he had to, although he'd prefer not having to explain to any stray agency members that he wasn't there to kill them. So he'd check his apartment first, and maybe call him from there.

It was only when he parked his bike outside Dazai's building that he realized he wasn't sure what he was panicking about.

Dazai has nothing to do with him anymore, but there was something, a thought buried behind the fog of his brain that told him there was more. Something was supposed to have changed--

Shit.

His head hurt. He hadn't been drinking, and it didn't feel like a hangover, but it did feel similar to a blackout. Dazai and he had been--

Dancing?

No, that made no sense. Chuuya headed into the building, and climbed the stairs, five at a time because he didn't have time for gravity.

They'd been in the city and--

That city.

Chuuya stopped, hand raised to knock, as a few memories started to come back to him. It wasn't possible. Someone had planted that in his head somehow.

They had been dancing. ]

DAZAI!

[He shouted through the door and then knocked hard, making the door shake.]

OPEN UP, DAZAI.

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[It was difficult to dodge while seated. Dazai parried with his shin instead.

(Ow.)]

Describe that place, then. And the people you met. What you did there, too, for that matter.

[A test of sorts. Chuuya wasn't one whose imagination went off the rails. Ability or no (likely not since No Longer Human didn't activate, and that made this all the more unusual), what Chuuya saw might be a clue to whatever happened.

Assuming a person was behind this, and that it was done with intent. If Dazai factored in the possibility of using the Book, an influence which surpassed abilities, it was all too easy to imagine an assortment of scenarios.]

[Right. Okay. Chuuya paused to sip his coffee while trying to figure out how to explain it without making it obvious he was leaving something out.]

It was like something out of a damn manga. The world was affected by emotions. If you got angry, things might start falling apart.

[No comments about how he feels too much, Dazai. He's ready to kick again, harder this time.]

And there were these obnoxious Gods tied to different emotions.

They were trying to rebuild the world, but I was mostly trying to figure out how to get back.

[Did he succeed? Or rather: Did Dazai succeed? He couldn't remember figuring anything out that might have helped.]

[Chuuya. Oh Chuuya. You merely succeeded in making Dazai more curious. Hoping for few questions? Too bad.

There would be little comments on Chuuya's reactive nature for now, but no guarantees it would be the same for the rest of the conversation.]

You'll have to be more specific than that, don't you think? Nothing with what you said gives me a clear idea of why you even want to rid yourself of this dream or memory, even if it wasn't cast on you with malicious intent.

I don't care about getting rid of it. I just want to know what it is.

[And he had wanted to know it touching Dazai would make it disappear, but it hadn't.]

Even if it wasn't used with malicious intent now, that can easily change.

[Imagine Mori getting his hands on something like that. Chuuya would support his boss, of course, but part of him still questions his decision to use Q. It doesn't seem like this Ability was deadly, but he had no doubt it could be destructive.]

I'll figure out who did it. And I won't go easy on them.

[And he's not satisfying Dazai's curiosity about that world any more if he can help it. He knows he'll slip up.]

Mm-mmm. I see. Chuuya's playing detective today.

[And before Chuuya could kick him --]

How about this. You are correct that, if this phenomenon, for the lack of a better term, can be controlled and applied to many, it will spell trouble. Imagine the chaos mass hysteria might bring. At this point, you've also determined that this might not be an ability, given that you still remember the events you spoke of after I touched your face. In which case, wouldn't it be sensible if I helped you along? No Longer Human is supposed to be absolute, and I'm sure you recall the situation we were in when we encountered that very tall person from the Guild.

[Lovecraft. Another possibility: he temporarily drove Q to insanity. What if there was another being like him roaming around, and he could also be coaxed into forming a contract?

Imagine what problems that would bring.]

I remember the events in your friend's book, too, even though you touched me. You don't erase memories of abilities.

[But Dazai is right that it's most likely not implanted memories. That said, though: An escape!]

I'm not here for your company. You're at least half decent at figuring these things out.

[Thats not why he's there at all. He was there because he remembered being in that world with Dazai, and his first instinct had been to check up on him, in case they'd both been sent back together. He'd wanted to know he was safe.

He couldn't tell him that.

So the excuse that he was there seeking Dazai's help was a better one. Never mind that before those months in that other world, his pride wouldn't have let him ask his ex-partner for help. It wouldn't have mattered how desperate the situation was. Dazai has decided to leave his life, after all.

Dazai might see through that one. He might not care. Chuuya wasn't sharing the truth, either way. ]

[Irritable and stubborn as always. Dazai drummed his fingers on the table.]

So that's a yes or a no, Chuuya?

[To his earlier question on partnering up for whatever this was. The answer was likely a 'yes.' Dazai just wanted to hear him say it.]

Before you had these extra memories, what's the last thing you remember? And let's reverse that earlier question - why are you fine with having extra baggage in your head? Aren't you going to be taxed by having too many unnecessary thoughts?

Yes. This once. [He said it like he was the one doing Dazai a favor. And he didn't want their partnership to end with this, but he had to keep up the pretense.] If No Longer Human doesn't work on whatever this is, you're useless. You'll need me.

[Dazai was never useless, not unless he intentionally decided to be. Chuuya was lying pretty much non stop during this conversation.

It was not a fun conversation. ]

I remember coming back, the boss being cured, that rat bastard caught. I got back to work again. I wasn't missing at any point after that.

[Did he have to answer that second question? If he dodged it, Dazai would definitely notice. And he's probably be an annoying bastard and keep pushing.

How long could Chuuya keep Dazai from noticing that he was hiding something?]

They're boring memories. It's not important, just annoying.

[More lies. Some partnership.]

[No, Chuuya, you needed him. After all, it was apparent that Chuuya sought out his help in the first place, not the other way around. While Dazai could see why this situation could royally screw both the Agency and the Mafia over, be it a potential reality warp or the planting of false memories, Chuuya could've tried to check first if the mafia had the resources to deal with it, rather than going to a traitor immediately for help. After all, hadn't he learned to live without Dazai for the past four years?]

You haven't missed much, then.

So if those new memories of yours were so boring and annoying, what was with coming over here and looking as if someone had died?

[Well no, not really. But Chuuya's actions were desperate.

Don't try to worm out of this, slug.]

[He can try to worm out of it if he wants! He can even try to crash out of it violently, breaking everything in sight, Dazai's obnoxious face included.

Chuuya glared at Dazai over the top of his coffee cup. He'd finished over half already, and it still wasn't helping.]

I thought you'd finally died, and I came to celebrate.

[Obviously he knew Dazai wouldn't buy that. Now he was just stalling.]

What happened there isn't important.

[Yeah, right. If Chuuya wanted someone to fool, Dazai would point him in the direction of Kenji.

He peered at his ex-partner over the rim of his cup. This was a stalemate, undoubtedly, and he sipped his suspiciously familiar coffee. Fine. Let's see where playing along got him.]

In that case, you saw me in that world, too. Ahh, how lucky that my counterpart seems to have found a way to die.

Was it a good, painless death?

[Doubtful. As tired as he was of existing, he somehow knew he wouldn't go down that easily. Or painlessly, for that matter. Ever a tragedy, that.]

[Chuuya's eyes widened, just briefly. No, Dazai hadn't figured it out, he was just playing along with Chuuya's scenario, he--]

You didn't die.

[He give in. Dazai would keep prodding forever anyway.]

You had the same useless life there as you do here. I couldn't always avoid running into you.

[He finished his coffee, but just turned around for the pot to pour himself some more.]

Your feelings would leave black spots everywhere.

["If you got angry, things might start falling apart. "

That's what Chuuya said earlier, but he didn't need whatever that world had to achieve a similar effect. For Dazai to leave visible traces of emotion, though?

Well. He wasn't surprised that, if his own feelings leaked out, they would still be pitch black. After all, he was one hated by righteousness.

O cup of cheap coffee in an even cheaper chipped mug, thou had yet to reach the pinnacle of thine bitterness to attain the level of muck residing in Dazai's soul. Or something like that.]

You've quite the imagination. Were it the case that I revealed myself so openly, the circumstances must be dire, indeed.

On the other hand, are you sure these black spots didn't just keep showing up because you were around? After all, Chuuya likes scowling, he might as well keep his mouth permanently downwards.

[See this, how Dazai pulled down the corners of his eyes and mouth with his fingers? You looked this ugly, hat rack. No wonder people avoided you.]

You couldn't control it, asshole. If you felt it, it would show in the world around you, even if you'd normally be able to hide it.

[Did he really think Chuuya didn't know the difference between his own feelings and Dazai's? No, Dazai just didn't want to admit it.

He knew Chuuya was right, and that was one of the best feelings in the world. That was one emotion he wouldn't mind spreading to the environment.

Still. Dazai deserved another kick under the table.]

You feel a lot, you know. You never fooled me.

[If he had to admit this much, he was also going to use this chance to be a smug asshole.]

Edited 2018-10-23 08:42 (UTC)

You're imagining things.

[Look at this smile. It was empty and soulless. Wasn't this the kind of expression you hated?]

I'll let your delusion slide. After all, it's likely a conjured up world, or one planted in your memory. Far from something to put stock in.

So. What was the last thing you were working on, or the last incident you resolved after escaping from the book? Perhaps it's a good place to start.

[If Chuuya avoided giving more details, however, the chances that Chuuya wanted this resolved seemed questionable.]

[He did hate it, which was why Dazai was getting kicked again. And again. And again, until he stopped smiling like that.

But having those memories called out as delusions hit hard. Dazai was right, of course: Chuuya didn't know him, had always been wrong about what he thought he knew. He didn't feel the way Chuuya used to think he did, and he definitely didn't care.

He'd just have to repress those thoughts and get back to work. Keep this professional.]

I was in charge of rounding up that rat's associates. I'll get the files on the few people we were looking into.

[He stood up. He had to get out.]

I can retrace my steps after that.

[And that was that, was it..?

Smiling through being kicked was a pain to do, but he had judged that tanking the force of Chuuya's foot might help hum understand the situation better. Now, his shin was going to hurt for the next few days, and there was little gained, other than the assessment that something about Dazai bothered Chuuya more, instead of those memories.

Also of note was that Chuuya would've reacted differently, if he suspected his mind was tampered with. Perhaps it would be a reaction to his own origin as a seal not intended to take a personality of its own, but the matter was that, in the same breath that he protected his reasons for living, Chuuya fought to assert and maintain his identity.

No, being given false memories was no laughing matter.]

Fine, then.

Don't forget to call, partner.

[A deliberate reminder that, in spite of Chuuya's reticence, he still went to Dazai for help, and that Dazai would meddle if he deemed necessary.

Chuuya had clammed up tight today. All the more reason for Dazai to observe him for the next few days.]

[Chuuya halted at the use of those words. It was a reminder, sure, but hearing it was half relief, half insult. They weren't partners anymore.

But Chuuya remembered rebuilding that partnership.]

Let me know what you find.

[Dismissive. And then he started walking again, unlocking the door so he could leave.

He knew Dazai wouldn't let this go, but he just needed a few moments to clear his head. To pull himself together, get back to normal. He just needed to remind himself of what was reality here.

He'd get back to work. And then work out for a few hours until he nearly passed out, then get drunk. That was the plan. ]

[So he says. As if the scant amount Chuuya mentioned was enough to piece together anything, and Dazai had an inkling that looking up the organizations and branches his ex-partner had subdued in the weeks leading to his hallucination wouldn't yield anything worthwhile.

Two weeks later: he hated being right.

Which was why on one rainy evening, Dazai wore casual clothes this time and strolled into a particular bar. His tan coat stood out too much, and even his face was still recognizable in this part of town. After all, it was within the zone under the Port Mafia's protection, albeit one of the smaller bars near its edge.

Oh, look. How convenient that Chuuya was drinking by himself.

He sat down three stools away, casual as he pleased, and ordered a whiskey on the rocks.

There was little doubt in this mind that Chuuya was aware of his presence the moment he approached the bar. All he had to do now was wait.]

[Of course Chuuya noticed Dazai. It didn't matter what he wore, the asshole stood out like a sore thumb.

(Those clothes looked good on him.)

Chuuya sipped his wine, and tried to ignore him. His first reaction was to ask if he'd found anything, but if Dazai had, he would have contacted him directly, not sat down three chairs away. Unless he for some reason couldn't approach, of it wasn't safe -- No, he'd give Chuuya a sign.

Chuuya watched him out of the corner of his eye. No sign.

Annoyed, Chuuya got up, slid into the seat next to Dazai instead.]

This is a dangerous place for a traitor.

[Not really. And Chuuya's presence would keep him safe now.]

What are you doing here, Dazai?

[He missed you.]

[If not Chuuya's presence, then the lack of an execution order might guarantee safety. There was a reason, after all, that Mori had refrained from issuing one, though Dazai knew better than to rely on that sort of leniency.]

Should I not be free to drink where I please?

[He held up the glass served to him against the light and peered at its contents. Ice and liquid amber, the dignified fragrance of time. Unlike humans, alcohol could claim it kept its wisdom over the years.]

I thought I'd see for myself if this place had changed the last time I visited. Apparently not.

So why are you alone on this fine, damp evening? Your usual company busy?

[Yes.]

You already knew that.

[If Dazai was here, he'd make sure Chuuya would be alone. Chuuya wouldn't be surprised if it was Dazai's fault that he was alone, if he'd made sure his company would be busy. Although for once, he wasn't suspicious by default.

And he also didn't care. He couldn't help the way he'd much rather spend time with Dazai.]

I'll let your presence in Port Mafia territory slide for now. [A pause.] You haven't found anything?

You know the answer to that.

[An echo of Chuuya's line, and a bet. There were a lot of details hidden from him when Chuuya visited his apartment, and while Dazai had done his best to dig around, there wasn't anything of note.]

You haven't done anything of note to become the target of that sort of attention. Removing you from the field without either destroying you, making your delusion perfect, or coming up with a thorough brainwashing method is a disservice to those who wish you permanent harm.

[Unlike Ranpo, who ultimately chose a method that gave Chuuya an out - albeit one that would still disable him as long as the Agency didn't have a way of handling the petite mafia.]

So, Chuuya. You truly have no idea why you were targeted with an inconsequential non-Ability?

[So Dazai was here to question Chuuya more about his memories. Of course he was. Chuuya quickly drank some of his wine, and then signaled to the bartender to just give him the bottle.

It probably wasn't a good idea to get drunk if he wanted to keep secrets, though.]

Not unless you believe that the world needed my help to restore it.

[That was the line, wasn't it? He'd never cared about it much while there - his responsibility was to his men, not to some strange planet.

Of course, now that he was back, he hadn't been much help to his Organization. He'd been unfocused, his mind elsewhere. He'd been thinking about Dazai, trying to sort out which memories of him were real and which weren't. How realistic any of it was.

Was everything that happened just Chuuya's unconscious, pathetic desire?]

I'm always the target of that sort of attention. [Don't insult him. He has enough enemies, and he's proud of it.] But you're right, they did a shit job if they tried to take me out of play. I have better enemies than that.

So it's probably something else.

[As long as it's not just a delusion.]

[Why yes, Chuuya, ordering the full bottle was a curious choice to make. Was this truly an account you couldn't get through without intoxication?]

Indeed.

[He sipped from his glass. Hmm. A nostalgic drink, in the moment of another's recollection. Shall he ask for a photo to be taken..?

(Don't jinx it, Dazai.)]

Don't think your reluctance escaped my notice.

What was I up to, in that vision of yours?