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[Chuuya had felt groggy and unfocused since he woke up, a feeling not even coffee had been able to make a dent in. He'd gotten to work purely on muscle memory, and then he'd mostly stared at his desk until Kouyou dropped by for lunch and ordered him to go home and sleep it off.

He wasn't sure there was anything to sleep off, but he didn't argue with his Ane-san.

And then he'd gone home, and passed out, and woken up about an hour later as panic gripped his chest tight.

Dazai.

He had to find Dazai.

He hurried out of his apartment, grabbed his motorcycle for speed, and set off in the direction of Dazai's place. Would he even be at his place? Or with that Agency of his? He'd check both, if he had to, although he'd prefer not having to explain to any stray agency members that he wasn't there to kill them. So he'd check his apartment first, and maybe call him from there.

It was only when he parked his bike outside Dazai's building that he realized he wasn't sure what he was panicking about.

Dazai has nothing to do with him anymore, but there was something, a thought buried behind the fog of his brain that told him there was more. Something was supposed to have changed--

Shit.

His head hurt. He hadn't been drinking, and it didn't feel like a hangover, but it did feel similar to a blackout. Dazai and he had been--

Dancing?

No, that made no sense. Chuuya headed into the building, and climbed the stairs, five at a time because he didn't have time for gravity.

They'd been in the city and--

That city.

Chuuya stopped, hand raised to knock, as a few memories started to come back to him. It wasn't possible. Someone had planted that in his head somehow.

They had been dancing. ]

DAZAI!

[He shouted through the door and then knocked hard, making the door shake.]

OPEN UP, DAZAI.

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Shut up.

[He barely resisted downing his wine. It would be a waste of a -- not good, but semi-decent drink, and he knew if he got drunk he'd end up telling Dazai everything. Because he really wanted to.

But at the same time, he was such an ass, pushing all the right buttons to raise his hackles.]

Not like you're being useful, either. Did you accidentally kill off all your braincells in your latest suicide attempt?

Come back when you know something worth keeping you alive for, traitor.

That's not how it works, Chuuya. Are you so willing to sign your own expulsion notice if you go ahead with an unauthorized execution? And that's if you get off lightly.

[He was being awfully combative today. In other words, being made to recall whatever he saw was something of a pain for him.

Actually - here, have a refill, never mind that Dazai could only pour only a fifth of the glass with how full it still was. Tempted to make yourself feel better about this whole debacle, aren't you?]

If you didn't think I was your best option to solve this, you wouldn't have come to me in the first place.

Let's start with the basics: how long did you perceive yourself to be in that world?

That's not even why I --

[Shit, no, don't admit that, Chuuya. He took his now too-full glass and drank about half of it, glowering down at the bar top for a moment.]

I'm starting to think expulsion might be worth it. Besides, I can probably get away with hiding your body. Everyone will just think you left again.

[See? Flawless plan.

He wasn't going to do that.]

About five months.

[While Dazai's expression didn't change, that little slip-up got him thinking. Not why Chuuya approached him? What on earth had his imaginary counterpart done.]

You forget who we're up against. Even if you caused me to vanish, that man will have to search for me to assess if I am no longer a threat.

Even if no one from the Agency or Mafia figure it out, he might.

[That person's attention to detail and memory were frighteningly sharp.

No, Dazai didn't believe Chuuya would dispose of him just yet. But if they were talking about hypothetical scenarios, there was one for you, slug.]

Five months of no mafia-related problems, is it? It sounds like a vacation, although knowing your workaholic habits, you'd be desperate to come home.

[More like, Chuuya needed to ensure the mafia was safe.]

[Dazai had a point. Chuuya wouldn't get away with it. There weren't many people in the world capable of getting rid of Dazai, so he'd be a natural suspect because of their history. And if the boss asked him outright, he wouldn't get away with a lie.

Chuuya wasn't a bad liar, necessarily. But the people who knew him usually saw through him anyway.]

The execution order will come eventually.

[Probably. And when it did -- Chuuya didn't want Dazai dead, didn't think he could do it, instinctively wanted to protect him just at the thought.

Shit. This whole thing had messed with him. It was screwing with his sense of loyalty.]

Of course I wanted to get back. I don't owe anything to some strange world, even if it is falling apart.

My responsibilities are here.

Edited 2018-10-27 10:08 (UTC)

[He merely chuckled and sipped his drink. Well. One way or another, Dazai would die eventually. He'd prefer for it to not be under Mori's orders, though!]

However I bite the dust, it'll be sweet if it was painless. I'd ask if you've spotted a beauty I can go on a double suicide with, but I'd rather not get a recommendation from you.

Now, if you're conscious in reality, does this mean you were able to find a way to get out? Or was that world saved, and you were allowed to return in spite of your non-participation?

I'll make sure it's slow, and painful. And that you're alone.

[Dazai had told him in that place that he was worse when he was alone, but was that even true? Was that another one of Chuuya's own wishes - that his partner needed him.]

You'll doubt you're real, until you're not.

[It didn't matter if Chuuya had imagined it or not, when he didn't have any other ammunition to use. He wanted Dazai to react. ]

Tch. I don't know the answer to that. I just woke up here again.

I'd even been thinking about helping out, since I was stuck there anyway.

["Slow and painful" were both predictable. But "alone?" Plus being inflicted with a measure of doubt?

The mirth drained out of him, though he kept on smiling, cradling his drink as he watched the ice clink on the glass. Well, well. If those mentions weren't accidents, whoever this person was that caused Chuuya to know of such things deserved a personal visit and a rather lengthy interview.

Only Odasaku and perhaps Ango had guessed about that particular discomfort of Dazai's, and Ango wasn't going to mention that to anyone, with how, in Dazai's estimations, the issue was too close to home.]

How unimaginative, as far as the deaths you usually fantasize about are concerned.

[Delivered as easily as possible. Dazai flicked the rim of his whiskey glass.]

And you were starting to acclimate yourself when you were pulled away. Then, could it be that whoever set that up wanted to whisk you away as soon as you began to let your guard down?

[There wasn't a strong case for that conclusion. However, he wanted to see Chuuya's reaction, on if he had enjoyed his stay in that fantasy land.]

[No reaction.

Fucking react, dammit.

Chuuya tipped back his glass, not caring that wine wasn't meant to be downed. He needed it, if he was going to deal with Dazai. He could feel his focus slipping a little, the alcohol hitting him fast, as it always did.

If he drank enough, Dazai wouldn't be able to get anything useful out of him. Maybe that was the way to get rid of him.]

Do you really want me to give you specifics?

[He didn't want Dazai to die.

Chuuya turned quickly to look at him at that theory, eyes slightly wide. That -- would make sense, if the idea was to fuck with him, fuck with his loyalty, make him question what he really wanted. Was the idea to shake his position? Make him less reliable for the boss?

He refilled his glass again.]

Your theories don't mean anything if you can't find the culprit.

[When one deliberately made one's self a hostage several times, one learned to control their reactions. Really, Chuuya, he wouldn't have done a good job if he wasn't able to do something as simple as controlling his expression.]

You forget that investigations are also reliant on information. My source refuses to talk, and it's useless to reveal all the dead ends I've reached.

[And hmm, that reaction. About as expected, when the loyal dog cared only for protecting what was important to him, so much so that his very fears were woven to that.

He reached for the bottle. More wine, Chuuya?]

[More wine is a great idea. Fill his glass to the brim. ]

Then go with that theory. What the hell would be the point?

[He knows what the point is, he just can’t talk about it. Maybe he should grab the bottle back from Dazai and make a run for it.

Although Dazai knew where he lived. ] Ahhh

[Douzo.]

It's difficult and costly to match Chuuya in terms of raw firepower. Hence, the opponent has to resort to trickery. The cage Ranpo-san prepared for you is one thing. The cage of the mind, however, is more potent, and no ability nullification is a match for it.

[Morale, he meant. Mind games. What was the use of a gun when its wielder was too shaken to use it?]

Tch.

[Chuuya took the glass, but held himself back from drinking it. It sounded like that might have been the plan. It made sense.]

They miscalculated, then. Now I want to destroy them even more.

[The only one this benefitted was Dazai, and he wasn't the one who did this to him.]

My loyalties haven't changed. [Much.] They should have made me see something else if they wanted that to change.

[He might be saying this to reassure himself more than anything else. He won't falter. He won't fail. ]

Fair enough.

[There were more potent ways to shake up Chuuya. Dazai could guess what they were - despair and Chuuya were two matters he knew well.

Well, that was neither here nor there. This, so far, was only speculation.]

By the way, are you sure you hadn't eaten anything funny before you had that vision?

[Probably not, but he still had to ask.

(There was a hint of desperation in CHuuya's tone that he didn't like. This kind of doubt was also troublesome for someone normally so confident.)]

[Chuuya frowned down at his glass. Now he wanted to go prove himself somehow, preferably right away, but this third degree wasn’t over yet.

Plus, he didn’t know how.

More wine, then.]

Of course not. [He only eats quality food. ] Would that even give memories like this? Even if I was somehow drugged, it wouldn’t be like this, right?

Edited 2018-10-29 09:55 (UTC)

Nah, it's more free association, I think. You wanna try?

[He knows where to get shrooms. Just saying. Feel free to ask Atsushi for proof.]

[Are you crazy??]

Definitely not. My head is enough of a mess right now.

[Not at all! Learn to experience the little things in life. Watching dancing elephants dance across the rainbow stages of the grapefruit-pink sky is a unique experience you won't get anywhere else.]

Then taking it shouldn't make much of a difference.

I’m not taking it!

[Says the guy well on his way to getting plastered.]

I’m just going to go home and pass out.

[Or go somewhere and pick a fight. Same thing. ]

Then don't.

[An innocent shrug, and a casual drink. No one's forcing you to.

And here, have more wine.]

It's a waste if you go home now, by the way. [He held the bottle up to the light and squinted at it.] There's still half of this to go.

[Chuuya squints at the wine bottle, too. ]

I could bring it with me.

[Technicaly the bar isn’t allowed to sell wine for him to being home, but who’s going to say no to him? He’ll do what he wants.

Not that he’s moving.]

You’re not drinking.

Am, too!

[He held up his glass in comparison to Chuuya's. See? See? Yours is more full than his!

Have a toast, while he's at it.]

I'm surprised you didn't bring your own bottle to this place. No offense to our gentleman over here [the bartender, he meant] , but you can be picky.

You’re not drinking enough!

[Dazai needs to do multiple shots if he wants to keep up with Chuuya, who is definetely feeling the wine at this point. He has no idea how much he’s drunk. ]

Sometimes I bring my own. I didn’t want to go home first.

[Because if he went home, he wasn’t sure if he’d want to go out again. It was entirely unlike him, and he didn’t like it. ]

Edited 2018-10-29 15:23 (UTC)

Am I not? [He swirled his glass and drank, looking at Chuuya from his periphery.] You seem to forget that your tolerance is far worse than mine.

In any case, we are, indeed, not going home yet. To commemorate this rare evening, I shall oblige by catching up. That's not a problem for you, is it?

[He reached over to tip Dazai’s glass back for him, to make sure he drank it all. ]

It hasn’t been that long.

[He was drunk enough now that he was slipping up. He and Dazai went out together all the time, in that place. But back here in Yokohama, it had been years.

Because Dazai had left.]

If you actually want to.

[It was said a bit sulkily. ]

Edited 2018-10-30 00:45 (UTC)