indensity | when you're helpless, waiting to collide

when you're helpless, waiting to collide

[Chuuya has lost all track of time while he's been there. The drugs they've injected him with has him slipping in and out of consciousness, and it's making it difficult to think, made worse by the fact that every inch of his body seems to hurt. He only vaguely remembers the fight. He's pretty sure his coffee had been drugged when he bought it, that or his croissant, and then when he'd felt so dizzy only his ability could keep him standing, he'd been attacked out of nowhere by two ability users. One of them had some sort of lightning based ability, he's not sure about the other.

He's pretty sure he has a concussion.

He's been trying to gauge his injuries, figure out if he'll be able to move, trying to figure out a way to break himself free. He's chained up, but he should be able to break those if the drugs wear off. The door to this room looks solid, but he can break it. If not for the drugs.

At some point, someone comes into the room and injects him with another dose, and he loses all consciousness again. When he wakes up, he starts the thought process over. Where is he, can he fight, how will he get out. He's not the type to ever just wait to be rescued.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. Of course it's different.

[He says it reluctantly, and then doesn't immediately say anything else. He doesn't answer Dazai's comment about his taste in movies. For some reason, he doesn't feel like starting one of their usual squabbles after all, even though it should be safe and familiar. It's what they always do. He squeezes Dazai's hand, like a question.

Now it feels dangerous.

He lets out a soft noise, frustration, or like he's giving up. His movement is smooth as he shifts into Dazai's lap, but there's none of his usual confidence in his body language.]

I'm not even drunk, you bastard.

[He kisses him. He usually keeps his eyes open while they kiss, but they're shut now. There's none of his usual urgency, no attempt to push this into something more. He's not being rough at all. It's just a kiss, because there's no way he can answer Dazai's questions without humiliating himself, and this way he can deny everything if he has to.

And this way, Dazai can't talk, either.]

[It's rare for Dazai to say or do anything without a specific goal in mind, but as much as he tries to come up with his own motivation after the fact, he can't. That's fine, he thinks: there's some amusement in doing something randomly, too, and if this was a bit more sincere than he usually is... there's no reason why he needs to admit to that, or why he should have it stay that way if he decides to change his mind. And so it's fine. It's just a bit weird when Chuuya holds his hand that way - somehow the gesture still holds more meaning than it should, coming from Chuuya - and Dazai tries to reset his course for the million ways this encounter could go next.

Kissing is an effective way of shutting Dazai up, as long as Dazai is willing to go along with it - and, surprising or not, at this moment he is. When the kiss ends or slows down, however, his lips curl into a smirk.]

It's true, just like you said... I don't need to ask.

[Heh. Sex for him~! Not only did he not have to ask, but he really wasn't even aiming for it, either. His charm is just that powerful~!
... Well, maybe the fact that he doesn't bother saying that proves he doesn't really believe it. But it's a nice flow of thoughts to roll around in, and so he does.]

Edited 2023-04-03 16:59 (UTC)

[Chuuya doesn't immediately open his eyes again. But then, he doesn't need to to know that Dazai is smirking.]

Shut up. Who says I'll have sex with you?

[Except if this isn't about sex, then Chuuya kissed Dazai for another reason. If this isn't about sex, then it's because Chuuya is into Dazai, just like Dazai was asking him about... And he can't admit to anything like that.

He'd never live it down.]

But I guess I don't mind letting you fuck me.

[He kisses him again, still strangely gentle. He's never been good at doing anything like this without violence. He's holding himself back, wanting to be close, not wanting to be the one to ruin it. His lips drift along Dazai's jaw for a moment.]

If you promise to shut the fuck up.

[Sex is easier to think about, and talk about, than any possible alternative. And, sure, Dazai enjoys sex well enough. He's not really aiming for it here, though: it just seems to be the path of least resistance, and it's definitely the path of least inconvenience, so he sort of veers in that direction for convenience alone. It's not even a deliberate attempt to avoid other topics, as such; if anything, that part of it is just old habit. He's relatively relaxed about the idea of talking about more, for the moment.

But frankly he's far more about this lazy kissing, kissing Chuuya back in kind. It surely can't be that silly-if-nice-enough movie that has put him in such a relaxed mood, and yet relaxed he is, highly unusually.

Not so relaxed that he'll let Chuuya have everything his way, though. He's not dead (to his everlasting regret).]

Not a chance~

[Maybe he doesn't quite hate you right now, Chuuya, but if you think he'll shut up for you, think again! You're probably short (pun intended) on thoughts anyway.

Hmm, he better kiss Chuuya again before Chuuya can throw too much of a hissy fit.]

[It really does feel nice to kiss like this. Chuuya can feel himself melting, his body relaxed, though his skin feels like it's tingling. He slides a hand into Dazai's hair, fingers brushing through the strands, soft.

Maybe he likes it like this, too. It doesn't have to be rough.

He still shouldn't let Dazai keep being so smug. He should definitely say something so he can't get the last word in. But then they'd be stuck in an argument, a never ending back and forth, and they wouldn't be kissing. He makes a slight face at Dazai when he speaks, to let his annouance known... But then Dazai is kissing him again, and he doesn't actually want to break it.

So instead he'll lick into Dazai's mouth, leaning up closer, deepening the kiss, and acting like he's taking control for a second. Like he could make Dazai work for it. A reminder that he doesn't have to be easy. Even though he wants to be.]

[Maybe that's the single thing they can agree on: they both want Chuuya to be easy... and yet neither of them would enjoy it if that was always the case.

It's a very comfortable couch and very comfortable kissing, and Dazai makes no attempt to hurry things on to any next level of physical intimacy. He does, however, put his hands on Chuuya's butt and thigh - just to keep him safely seated, of course! That his fingers are lightly stroking Chuuya through his clothing is definitely just a coincidence.

... Okay, yeah, it's definitely not. Still, he really doesn't mean to rush anything. He's really enjoying just touching Chuuya! (You gotta pet your dog, don't you know?!)]

[No, they'd get bored if it was always easy. It wouldn't feel like them. But maybe - just for now - it's okay.

This is still, as much as he is able, a confession.

But he wouldn't be Chuuya if he wasn't also impatient. He's enjoying the kiss, but the more Dazai starts to touch, the more Chuuya starts to shift in his lap. Maybe Dazai didn't mean to rush things, but it's never taken much to get Chuuya going, and already his body is responding, making him want more. Making him want Dazai. He breaks the kiss, just for a second.]

No teasing.

[Not that he's stopping him. He'll just move a bit closer, so that if Dazai makes him squirm, he'll be rubbing on his cock and teasing him back.]

I'm not teasing.

[Dazai declares, mock-offended. And it's true (for once!): he hadn't intended to tease. Maybe he'd touched that way out of habit. Maybe he'd just wanted to touch!

... That is absolutely no guarantee that he won't tease later, though, and given Chuuya's complaining about it, Dazai is now practically morally obligated to. Still, that is for later, if and when he feels like it.]

You don't want me to stop touching you, do you?

[It's fine, Chuuya! You can say it!

Or not. Dazai intends to keep kissing - and, ideally, touching - regardless of what Chuuya says. It's not like he's forcing Chuuya to sit in his lap. In fact, isn't it the opposite?? Clearly Dazai should be the one complaining, here!!]

Consider it a warning.

[Not that he's really invested in his objection. He really does like the way that Dazai is touching him, he just gets embarrassed by his own reactions when he's being teased.]

I didn't say I want you to stop.

[Logic level: flawless. But he'll keep touching too, combing through his hair, nails lightly scraping his scalp. He kisses Dazai again, and he wants to melt into him fully. He won't let himself, but the thought crosses his mind. This is the point where usually he'd bite, or pick a fight, because he doesn't know what to do with anything this soft.]

[Dazai, for one, isn't putting too much thought into the unusual softness of the moment, beyond noticing how soft it is, and deciding he doesn't mind it. He doesn't quite have the same emotional hang-ups that Chuuya does - score one for not having those pesky emotions ~~much~~, he's sure ~~or he wishes~~ - but he does expect Chuuya to escalate things soon enough. It's only the fact that Chuuya doesn't that belatedly gives Dazai pause. Personally he doesn't mind this change of pace, but for Chuuya to accept it... Is that really okay? Of course Dazai knows there are some complicated feelings between them (mostly from Chuuya to him, of course!!!), but for Chuuya to give in to that is something else.

Is that really a good thing? It's nothing if not a complicating factor, but Dazai isn't sure he can honestly say it is bad - and that complicates things more than anything else.]

... You're rather agreeable when you're not talking, Chuuya.

[Sharp wording aside, it's a rather gentle comment between soft and slow kisses. It's not really intended as self-sabotage either, for once... so maybe this is Dazai's attempt (God forbid) at giving a genuine compliment without making things awkward.]

[Chuuya risks humiliation. He's being vulnerable like this, and that almost never ends well for him. More than that... Isn't this complicated enough already? He's overthinking it. He's trying not to. This is why it's easier when he's drunk.

Then again, because he's not drunk, it's easier to hold himself back. Even though he's also impatient, always, another detail that usually pushes him to rush things.]

I'm the one who should be saying that!

[He can tell by the tone it's not meant as an insult, though. It's -- wait. Agreeable? It's a compliment? And worse than that, did he technically just compliment Dazai back?

Give him a second to process all of that. But after that second (or five) has passed:]

Keep doing what you were doing, maybe you'll get what you want.

[Because he knows Dazai well enough, in the end. And Dazai was saying this is okay, the soft moment is okay. Which means every argument except Chuuya's own impatience is no longer relevant, and that much he can control himself on. Since this really is kind of nice.]

[Chuuya definitely just complimented Dazai~! Not that that was Dazai's goal, but he knows that Chuuya will hate it once he realizes, and that alone makes it a lot of fun. (That Dazai basically started it is clearly irrelevant. It's like getting the last laugh in: only the last one matters!)]

You say that as if it's not what you want as well.

[Dazai doesn't mind letting this happen, letting whatever it is they have evolve to a next level... even if it's probably only briefly, or the "next level" in question is barely a millimeter above what they had before. But he's not going to let Chuuya pretend that this is something Dazai wants that Chuuya is only reluctantly going along with.

It's fine if they both don't actively want it, though. In fact, isn't that easier? It's just happening, and maybe that's enough. It'll be better for both of them if they don't read more into it than that.

And so Dazai continues kissing, slowly and lazily - and somehow enjoying that surprisingly much, for how simple it is. He'll let some time pass this way to make sure Chuuya is back in the mood, before he starts touching Chuuya again, tracing fingers along his thighs, and up to the waistband of his pants so he can open it when he thinks the time is right.]

[Is it too late to take back the compliment? Can he make Dazai forget it somehow? Maybe he can get him black out drunk to the point this entire evening is erased from his mind --

No, he knows that won't work, and he doesn't really want Dazai to forget all of it, anyway.]

And? I can still deny you.

[But he obviously isn't. He isn't even denying that he wants it. Dazai is kissing him again, and now he can't resist the way he's melting into him, forgetting that he's supposed to always keep his guard up, at least a little. Dazai has always been good at getting past that, when he wants to. And by the time Dazai is touching him again, Chuuya is starting to feel warm and needy, turned on, a little light headed. He's making soft noises against Dazai's mouth.

And he wants to touch, too. Dazai's shirt needs to come off. Dazai always has those damn bandages underneath, but the fewer layers, the better.]

[Chuuya could do a whole host of things to Dazai that he never ever does, and sometimes that's honestly a relief. Not that Dazai doesn't have some plans in case Chuuya ever goes off the rails against him completely, but on the whole? What they have works for them, and that includes, for whatever reason, Dazai having his fun at Chuuya's expense.

There's some cosmic poetry in the fact that arguably the strongest human alive is a masochist, really.

Undoing Chuuya's pants is easy; getting them off is not, but Dazai doesn't even try that yet, because for one thing he's in no hurry, and for another Chuuya can help accomplish the thing if and when he's in the mood for it. As for Dazai himself, he's never all that eager to get undressed to any degree, but if Chuuya wants to take his shirt off, he supposes he can accept that. He won't fight it; he'll even offer some minimal cooperation, if required.

Meanwhile he's far more occupied with continuing this little kissing session, touching Chuuya eagerly enough, but not anywhere too intimately.]

[No, he doesn't want to deny Dazai anything. Not when giving in is so rewarding. Especially now, with the way Dazai is paying attention to him, touching him, allowing him to relax into it. It's rare for Chuuya to be spoiled this way, even rarer for him to accept it, always feeling a little guilty, like he's taking advantage of something he shouldn't need. But with the two of them, he knows without a doubt that it's what Dazai wants.

And if he ever doubted that Dazai was seeking his own gratification, it never takes long before he's reminded. Dazai is touching him, but not enough, not in the right places. Chuuya shifts in his lap in an effort to guide his hands.]

Are you trying to see how long I can handle this or something?

[Normally, that's something you test when it comes to pain, or anything uncomfortable, not soft touches. But they both already know how much pain Chuuya can take, and how little of this.

He wants his own pants off. He wants Dazai's shirt off, too. He grips the fabric for a second, like he's tempted to rip it off to get it out of the way... Then thinks better of it. He'll just push it off Dazai's shoulders like a normal person.

See? He can control himself. Sometimes.]

[Wow, good dog! And after learning to walk yourself, too.

The question is not a surprise as such, and it's not like Dazai isn't enjoying teasing Chuuya... but, at the same time, it's really not his main goal. He is enjoying this just as it is, even though that's not something he cares to analyze... and even though he knows himself well enough to know that he may not feel the same five seconds from now. In a way, that knowledge is frustrating - anything remotely fun sure does tend to evaporate quickly and without notice! - but in this case it also gives him some freedom to be honest.]

No?

[And he's not. (... Mostly not.) Let that confuse Chuuya, while letting Dazai remain unaffected by any affection that may genuinely disappear at any time anyway.

He stops touching Chuuya just long enough that his shirt can be taken off, then pats Chuuya's ass.]

Up~!

Edited 2023-04-15 19:45 (UTC)

[That simple no does something to Chuuya. He can feel the word curling inside of him, that soft tone making his heart race, because he wants so much. He wants to be touched like this, just because Dazai wants to.

And then he tenses, barely perceptible to anyone who doesn't know him really well, bracing himself, because wanting is always followed by humiliation.

And it would be okay, wouldn't it? Sex between them usually involves at least some humiliation. Dazai is into humiliating him, and Chuuya gets off on being humiliated, even he hates actually admmitting it. This isn't the kind of humiliation he enjoys, but he'd pretend, and it would be fine, and they'd move on. It's better than getting his hopes up, anyway.

Except it doesn't happen.

And maybe that's a line Dazai has decided he won't cross.

And maybe Chuuya needs to trust him.

He gets up, gets his pants off, and then the rest of his clothes, too, because ti's easier and faster, and if Dazai really just wants to touch him, then Chuuya is even more impatient than usual. He drops his clothes to the floor, and then gets back into his lap, the same way he was before.]

Either way I'll let you do it.

[Either way, he wants to be touched by Dazai. He wants to keep kissing. He wants all of this. He slides a hand over Dazai's chest, over the bandages, up to his shoulder. There's always a patch of skin there to allow for movement.

He's making the conscious choice to let his guard down fully. It's not easy, but Chuuya is nothing if not stubborn, especially when it comes to his expectations from himself. He's grinning as he leans in to kiss Dazai again, pleased and eager, even if he knows this is gonna leave him squirming. Well, Dazai is allowed to enjoy his reactions, either way.]

[Either way I'll let you do it, indeed! Dazai lets out the tiniest breath of a laugh, but then they're kissing again, and that takes priority for the moment. Even the double-edged sword that is being touched between his bandages - something that absolutely shouldn't matter, but does - doesn't change his forever-fickle mood at all. When he decides on a brief break from kissing, however, he belatedly comments with absolute certainty:]

I know.

[As if there was really any doubt that Dazai could convince Chuuya to have sex. He could even take the shortcut and get Chuuya drunk! But that tends to come with a significant amount of property damage if Dazai doesn't do some damage control, and he isn't always into such hard work, you know?

Anyway... Here they are, for many, many reasons. So what if one of those happens to be that Dazai genuinely wants to touch Chuuya? So what if there is, perhaps, some genuine affection involved? There's practical reasons as well, and Dazai still hates the kind of person Chuuya is, just as he always has, so clearly it's fine. It all evens out... or something like that.]

... By "either way", you also mean with or without lubrication, surely?

[He's (mostly) not serious. He does intend to escalate this physical encounter, but torturing Chuuya isn't his current goal.

That said, Chuuya also likes being tortured, so big shrug.]

[Chuuya feels that laugh from him more than he hears it, feels it in the way it sends a matching shiver down his sound. It's not a mocking laugh, and there's always been something about the way that Dazai knows him that gets to him. He's definitely too exposed here. Too vulnerable. But that's okay.

And Chuuya won't focus too much attention on those patches of skin. That would just be too limiting, when he wants to touch Dazai everywhere. And he won't try to take off more bandages than he did earlier. His hands stroke down Dazai's back, fingers tracing the shape of his spine, before he lightly drags his nails out towards his sides, knowing he'll feel it through the fabric, more a tease than a scratch.

He rolls his eyes at the question.]

Lazy bastard. [His tone doesn't match the insult at all.] Do what you'll enjoy more.

[A dangerous thing to say to Dazai, maybe. But it's too late for that anyway. Chuuya is already squirming in Dazai's lap, trying not to moan too much at the way he's being touched, and failing. There's not a lot Dazai couldn't get away with, as long as he doesn't stop.]

You say that, but I sincerely doubt you'd manage the patience to find something to make yourself slick.

[Because yes, Dazai would send his dog to go fetch, of course! And yes, he does honestly prefer it (somewhat) to have Chuuya wet for him, but it's hardly a dealbreaker.

Then again, they have other options, don't they?]

... Why don't we lie down? [He moves to do just that, but if Chuuya should try to follow him down, Dazai will be quick to correct him:] No, no - the other way around.

[They can 69 to start. All in all, it's... surprisingly equal? But Dazai isn't not enjoying that at the moment.]

I would.

[He wouldn't want to. He doesn't want to move away again. But he'd do it, obviously, because he already offered to let Dazai choose, and he's not going back on a promise.

But his objection is half-hearted, quickly distracted by Dazai's new plan. He does start to move down with him, looking briefly confused when Dazai corrects him, and then just... surprised. That's definitely not something Dazai offers very often. He starts to lie down in the opposite direction, careful not to accidentally kick Dazai in the face, trying to figure out the best position, and then --

Quickly running into a problem.]

You'll have to be on top.

[If he sounds embarrassed, it's because he is. He's too short for this, Dazai! You know that! Dazai has to be on top so he can at least arch his back, because Chuuya can't stretch out his!]

[They both know that Chuuya may or may not be able to take off and fetch lube, but they both know he's definitely not going to, and so Dazai doesn't waste any more words on the topic. He's got his creative solution all ready to go, anyway.]

Will I?

[Whatever could you be talking about? It's like you're unable to be on top because you're super short?? Whoever would have thunk it!]

I thought you liked being on top, though!

[Well, that's up for debate, but Dazai is just being a dick anyway, so it all works out. Look, he's already being pretty generous by offering reciprocation, here! Don't expect any miracles.

Verbal protestations aside, he does move things around to make this easier... even though he kind of doesn't like it. The couch is big enough normally, but being on top is definitely more uncomfortable. What a cruel, cruel world. :( This is what he gets for being kind for once. :(((

They're already undressed and halfway undressed respectively, and that's more than enough for Dazai. Part of him wants Chuuya to make the first move, but he doesn't care enough to wait for it at all, nuzzling Chuuya's crotch before giving it a quick lick. He can get more serious about things later.]

Shut up.

[But he's too turned on to be really annoyed by the teasing. Dazai just always has to rub it in that he's taller. What's worse is that the humiliation always gets to him, makes him needier, and he's trying to prove that he can stay in control and let Dazai set the pace.

At least once they change position it's... mostly easier. Chuuya moans as he feels Dazai's tongue on him, can't help it, and fumbles a bit in getting Dazai's pants open because of it. He gets his cock out, and then nudges him to make him shift just a little bit closer again. You really are too tall, Dazai. But with his head tiltes back, holding Dazai's cock steady with one hand, Chuuya is finally able to get his tongue on it, eager to taste.

And maybe he likes this position because of how trapped it makes him feel, Dazai's weight pushing him down.]

I'll buy a bigger couch.

[Because why not? Dazai will appreciate it, and they fuck on the couch a lot. But that's the last thing he's going to say before making better use of his mouth.]

[Having already had his little win just before - many of them, in fact! - Dazai is content enough to listen to Chuuya's physical instructions, repositioning his knees and lining himself up a little better. It's in his own best interest to make this work too, after all - and he's kind of, sort of, almost looking forward to it. It's not their usual, after all, and even if it's not entirely new to them either, something about it feels fresh and novel. Maybe it's just because they're not as drunk as they have been before. Maybe it's the things they said, and didn't say. Somehow, it's just a bit different.]

Mhm.

[Yes, do buy a bigger couch. Actually, why is your entire apartment not one gigantic soft(ish) surface, Chuuya?? Seems like a waste! Fortunately Dazai is a generous soul, and he doesn't complain.

Chuuya starts getting this going properly, and Dazai doesn't even wait before reciprocating, fairly content with his position in spite of his previous complaining. He does take his time, but that's not with the specific goal of teasing Chuuya. This just feels like a bit of a journey of discovery somehow, no matter how often they've done things before, and so Dazai takes his time, alternating long licks and gentle strokes.

After all these years, perhaps he's still looking for something, still hoping to find something unexpected. Chuuya is the most predictable of all, so he really shouldn't be looking for it here, but... well, perhaps that will be the unexpected part.]

[Chuuya is always eager to do this, always turned on by the taste and feeling and the act itself, though with Dazai returning the favor it's a bit different. It's not that he'd want to rush it, either, but Dazai's tongue is a distraction, making it hard to focus on what he's doing. He moans, and grips onto Dazai's legs, and tries to ignore how good each lick feels for the sake of giving Dazai more pleasure.

He's bad at staying focused like this. But he's stubborn. He refuses to disappoint.

And maybe it's a good thing he doesn't know what's going on in Dazai's head. He'd definitely panic, because that lifelong hope isn't something Chuuya could ever live up to. That's not for him. But he's not thinking much himself, just focusing on what he's doing, and... No. No, that's not true. Of course he knows something's different this time. Of course it's on his mind.

But he trusts Dazai. He wants him too much to have any doubts about this moment now. He closes his eyes, and pulls Dazai's hips down, so his cock can slide deeper into Chuuya's mouth.]

when you're helpless, waiting to collide

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