indensity | back and forth until it hurts and you can't take it back

back and forth until it hurts and you can't take it back

[Chuuya slams Dazai down onto the bed, moving on top so he can keep pushing him down hard. He's had enough of Dazai's shit for a week - no, a year - so it's time for this little reminder. It's an idea he's had for a while, but somehow hasn't actually gone through with, at least not until now. Dazai had given him that smug look, and he just snapped.

He pulls out a knife, smaller than his usual one, the blade sharp. He presses it to Dazai's throat.]

Did you really think you could keep getting away with whatever you want?

[He drags the knife down to cut a few of those annoying bandages, and slightly into Dazai's skin underneath, blood trickling free. He's smirking now.]

Hold still, Dazai, or I might cut something you don't want me to.

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Not my fault you never stretch.

[He's going to ignore that comment about his breath, because he knows it's not true. And it's a lot easier to brush off the insults when he's in charge for once, and actually getting what he wants. He tightens the rope a little bit more, trying to make sure the knot is as difficult to get to as possible.

And then he picks up the knife again. It's time to cut through Dazai's shirt and the bandages underneath, to get them out of the way. He's keeping an eye on what Dazai's doing at the same time.]

Don't worry. You'll hate this, but it will be over soon.

[The knot is... uncomfortable, to say the least. It'll leave a mark, which Dazai doesn't really care about--the bandages cover it. He's already thinking of the best way to wriggle out of this, undo the knots, without Chuuya seeing, but it's particularly hard when he doesn't seem likely to turn his back anytime soon.

...Ah, right. The knife.]

If you're that desperate for a fuck, you could have just said something.

[He dislikes the way Chuuya says he'll hate it, though. So, not simply some weird sort of sex play. His poor shirt-]

You'll have to pay for that. I don't have an infinite amount of shirts, you know.

[Dazai is testing the mobility of his wrist, not bothering to be subtle about it. He knows Chuuya will be able to see. The bandages... well, that's a shame, but it's not as though Chuuya has ever seen beneath them. It's just a bother to have to put them all on again. No, Dazai isn't going to take responsibility for the fact that he's the one who decides to put them there.]

I'll buy you some actually decent shirts. How's that?

[As if Dazai hasn't stolen Chuuya's wallet on several occasions. If he wants money from Chuuya, he'll just take it, but Chuuya doesn't actually mind paying him back for this. Especially since he's ripping the shirt more as he pulls it aside, not bothering to get it off him properly. He just needs Dazai's chest exposed for this.

He's looking increasingly smug as he considers his canvas.]

Why would I ask for a fuck when you never give me what I want?

[Well. Dazai does fuck Chuuya regularly, but still.]

Don't move for this part. Hold your hands still, too.

[He drags the knife down to make a cut on Dazai's chest. The first line in the first kanji in his name, though he won't tell Dazai that's what he's doing, of course.]

[Dazai doesn't want decent shirts. He wants the same shitty shirts he always wears; he's never cared about brands or fabrics the way Chuuya does. Not that it makes him look any less like a child, in Dazai's opinion.]

Pass. You know you could have just asked me to take this off.

[Well, there's that shirt gone. Chuuya is obviously planning something out of the norm, knowing Dazai will hate it--he's still working at those knots--because generally when they do this, the bandages stay on. Maybe Chuuya is just in a mood, which is... annoying.

He watches the knife, but when it starts to drag down skin, Dazai jerks underneath it.]

Do you honestly think I'm going to just lie here while you indulge in some bizarre new fetish you've found?

[The blood bubbles up around the cut. Dazai isn't concerned about that, though the sting is annoying. He's more concerned about what the hell Chuuya thinks he's doing.]

As if you would have listened if I asked.

[He has to work quick, but he also has to get it right. Cutting words into someone's skin isn't as easy as it sounds, and he wants there to be no doubt as to what he's written when he's done. Ideally it should scar, too, so he has to find a balance between that and cutting too deeply. He cuts a few more lines, finishing the kanji for "chuu," which is thankfully simple.

He only wishes Dazai would sound like it hurt, though he's not surprised the bastard is refusing to react to the pain. His anger should be satisfying, though.]

As if you've never wanted to cut me. But if you're good and just lie there, I'll suck you off when I'm done.

[As if that would convince Dazai. As if Chuuya doesn't give him blowjobs whenever he wants anyway.]

[No, he wouldn't have listened, but that's beside the point. The knife starts to hurt, and Dazai once again pulls at the ropes, trying to twist his wrist enough to perhaps loosen the knot. It appears he doesn't have the luxury of time.

It's when he glances down that Dazai actually gets it.]

...You're not doing what I think you are.

[The bored tone of voice is gone, replaced with something clearly displeased. It's something he's seen more than he wants to admit, but the idea of that cut into his skin... it's disgustingly intimate. Oh, he hates it, and Chuuya will know it.]

[Getting to Dazai is always satisfying. It's usually the other way around, which means he owes the bastard, and sure, maybe he's going too far with this, but... Right now he can't bring himself to care.]

Do you think it'll scar or should I go deeper?

[The "ya" is a bit more difficult to get right, but still fairly straightforward compared to a lot of kanji. He only has so much time now though, because he's sure Dazai will try to fuck up his work. He can't let that happen.

He cuts one more line, then another. Maybe he should retie the rope, he thinks, but pausing right now is too risky.]

[The scarring isn't the issue. The fact that it's clearly Chuuya's name is the issue. And-]

Your handwriting is disgusting. [Well, it's fairly difficult to write with a knife on skin. Dazai's teeth click; he's irritated, but more than that... what would people think if they saw this?

As long as it doesn't scar, it doesn't matter. But if it does? Dazai twists more at the rope around one wrist--his dominant hand. As long as he can get one free, then he can grab that knife and drive it into Chuuya's face.]

As if you could do any better. I told you to hold still.

[Oh, Dazai's pissed off for sure. That never ends well for the person it's aimed at, but Chuuya doens't really care. Dazai can do his worst once he gets free. The only thing that matters now is finishing the last strokes.

He presses his other hand to Dazai's chest to hold him down, and then makes his final cut, a little rushed, but accurate enough. There's really no doubt what it's supposed to say.

It's satisfying. It's a bad idea. It's too late either way.]

Maybe you need to get tied up more, if it's taking you this long to get free.

[Oh, Dazai hates that Chuuya is getting to him, and what he hates worse is that Chuuya can tell. He's unsure whether to fuss and fight more, or to try and play it cool like he simply doesn't care that Chuuya is etching his name into Dazai's skin.]

If you wanted to mark me as yours that badly, you could have chosen a less unpleasant way to do so.

[Another twist at the rope on his wrist. Unfortunately, the both of them have been trained in effective knots; it's taking longer to come undone than Dazai would like.]

Edited 2023-02-05 10:07 (UTC)

[It doesn't matter if he plays it cool, because Chuuya knows it's a lie. This is against every rule they've ever had for each other. But Chuuya is sick of those rules when they always end up hurting.]

At least this will be under your bandages. I could cut you somewhere visible next.

[Right under his jaw, maybe. Chuuya lifts the knife to press it there, draws blood, though it's not deep.]

Or should I get you a collar?

[Dazai frees his hand, swings it forward to catch Chuuya's wrist. The cuts sting, and if he looks down, he's just going to get more pissed off.]

How funny. You'd presume to get me a collar when you can't even do this without restraints? For shame, Chuuya.

[If Chuuya really wants to continue, Dazai won't be able to fight properly with only one arm free, but it doesn't matter. Having at least some form of control or defense feels better, though the idea of having Chuuya's name etched into his skin makes Dazai want to tear at his own skin. In fact, if he can get that knife...]

[Chuuya freezes when Dazai grabs him, just for a second, just long enough for it to be a tell. Dazai has so many ways of getting Chuuya to give up control, and if he can touch Chuuya, it’s too late. But he finished what he wanted, at least. He hesitates, then tosses the knife aside.]

Coming from you? You couldn’t even force me into that position, you’d need more than just rope.

[He doesn’t try to break free of that grip(does he ever), but he shifts so that he can reach his free hand down between them, to Dazai’s crotch, stroking. ]

And you don’t always hate pain, do you?

[Chuuya doesn’t pull away. When does he ever? It means something that neither of them discuss, even as Dazai sits there with the rope on his other wrist and blood wetting his skin.

When Chuuya’s hand sneaks between his legs, he glares, but doesn’t move away. It would be stupid to try and deny the fact that there’s something going on down there, but he’s certainly going to deny how much it being Chuuya’s hand touching him changes things.]

If you wanted me to fuck you this badly, you could have used your words.

Except you're not in charge this time.

[Which might be a strange argument to make considering he's still letting Dazai hold onto his wrist, but he doesn't care. If Dazai isn't going to call him out on it, then it doesn't matter.

It does mean that he has to twist his shoulder awkwardly when he leans down, so he can keep holding his arm up, not even letting himself move it if he can help it. He licks across the small cut on Dazai's throat, tasting blood - and when his chest touches Dazai's, Chuuya's shirt ends up soaked with it, too. He didn't get hard from cutting Dazai, but this part, this feels intimate.]

[Dazai's not in charge, which needs to be changed immediately. He hates any instance where he's not in complete control; even if he's giving control to someone else, that's a decision he makes, and one he can revoke when he wants.

The feeling of Chuuya's tongue makes Dazai shudder before he can stop himself. It stings, but it stimulates other things, as well.]

You're going to regret this, you know. I hope it was worth it for what I'll put you through once my other hand is free.

[The sheets and Chuuya's shirt are going to be utterly ruined, for one thing.]

[Chuuya isn't scared of Dazai. He never has been, even when everyone else around him was... But when Dazai makes that threat, he swears he can feel it in his spine. He refuses to hesitate because of it, but there's a slight catch in his throat before he pushes through.]

Don't make empty threats, Dazai.

[He knows it's not, but he's still doing his best to sound dismissive.

But he can at least make it as difficult for Dazai to focus as he can, even if he's only making it worse for himself. It's a bit awkward with his arm stuck in between their bodies, but he still manages to work Dazai's pants open, and then reaches inside to pull his dick out, stroking it slowly.]

Why would your other hand matter when you can't overpower me anyway?

[As if that's how Dazai takes control from him.]

[Empty threats?]

When have you ever known me to make an empty threat?

[Dazai's control doesn't come from physical strength, the way Chuuya's does. He wasn't made an executive in the Port Mafia because he could overpower people with his body. Dazai doesn't even flinch when Chuuya pulls his dick out, even though he's clearly hard--on some level, he's enjoying this, but neither of them will get into the meaning of that just now.]

How long have you wanted to do that? Putting your name on me, it takes away your ability to deny that you need me, doesn't it?

[Dazai's hand tightens. He knows he's at a disadvantage here, but when has antagonizing Chuuya verbally not worked?]

[Chuuya stills again when Dazai's grip tightens. He looks at it, then back up at Dazai.]

When something prevents you from following though.

[No, Chuuya isn't going to acknowledge that grip or what it means to him, at least not verbally. He'll just keep arguing. Digging his own hole. He knows how rare it is for something to prevent Dazai from following through on a threat, but rule number one is still to show no weakness, because Chuuya is not about to regret what he just did.

Except now Dazai is calling him out.

He goes from still to tense, then glares.]

I don't need you. Why the hell would I?

[If he'd let himself think this through, he would have seen this coming, but that's exactly why he refused to think too deeply about it in the first place, so don't make him.]

[Why would he need Dazai? There are more reasons than either of them would care to admit. It could be something as basic as Corruption; it could be their linked past, or how well they work together, unfortunate as it is. It could be the thing that possessed Chuuya to carve his name into Dazai's skin.

It's a sharp, throbbing pain.]

Of course. You don't need me, isn't that right? That's why I keep ending up here, isn't it?

[With his hand on Chuuya's wrist, in Chuuya's bed, anywhere they continue to bump into each other while pretending it's not intentional.]

[He wants to shut Dazai up, but he can't. He's staying completely still, glaring at him, defensive. His hand is still on his dick, but it's not stroking, just there. Dazai's the one tied up but suddenly he's the one feeling trapped.

He should have gagged him. Why didn't he gag him.]

If I can't run from that, neither can you.

[That's almost admitting something, isn't it. He hates the tone of his own voice right now. Maybe he should headbutt Dazai.]

Pissed I thought of it first?

[He shouldn't have done this. But he'd wanted to push Dazai into... Something. Something he refuses to think about.]

[Honestly? No, Dazai isn't pissed Chuuya thought of it first. He's pissed Chuuya was stupid enough to actually do it first.]

Of course not. I'm just disgusted at your level of shamelessness.

[There's something sitting between them here, throbbing with the cuts in Dazai's skin.]

It won't scar.

[It might. That pisses him off, too.]

I'm not gonna waste feeling shame on you.

[That's not what this is about. And he's feeling embarrassed now anyway, so it's not even true. He hates being called out by Dazai more than anything, but the bastard knows him better than anyone, and never even considers giving him a break.]

Probably not.

[It might. He didn't cut too deep. Even if it does scar, it will probably fade with time. He drops his head a little, and then, reluctantly, with an annoyed tch, removes his hand from between them and instead reaches up to start freeing Dazai's other hand.]

[There it is; Chuuya gives in, because he's a coward, and for some reason that's more annoying than the idea of being marked by him. (Dazai isn't going to think about the slight twinge of disappointment that it probably won't scar.)]

That's it, then. Your grand gesture against me? You're more like a dog with its tail between its legs than ever before.

Shut up.

[It's not a comeback and he knows it. But he's not giving up, either. He already did what he decided to do, and this wasn't going anywhere, not with Dazai holding his wrist like that. But he stops untying him, and pins Dazai's wrist down instead.]

If I was scared of you, I wouldn't have done this at all. If you wanted me to fuck you like this, you shouldn't have tried to free yourself.

[Dazai snorts, even as the way Chuuya pins his wrist sends a twinge of discomfort up his arm. Which he hates, possibly more than Chuuya.]

As if I'd ever want you to fuck me. I doubt you even could.

[They both know Chuuya's preferences, and Dazai has no qualms about taunting him, even like this.]

In fact, if I weren't mistaken, this is a desperate plea for me to fuck you. Throwing a tantrum because you weren't getting enough attention? You really are a child.

I could.

[Anyone can stick their dick in someone, clearly! Except that Chuuya isn't really interested, and Dazai has proven again and again that he knows how to make Chuuya submit in bed. He's not sure how to defend himself here.]

How is this a tantrum? You're just sulking like a baby because my plan against you worked.

[And he's going to push his weight down, his chest against Dazai's, to make those cuts hurt more for him.]

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back and forth until it hurts and you can't take it back

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