when you're helpless, waiting to collide

[indensity]

[Chuuya has lost all track of time while he's been there. The drugs they've injected him with has him slipping in and out of consciousness, and it's making it difficult to think, made worse by the fact that every inch of his body seems to hurt. He only vaguely remembers the fight. He's pretty sure his coffee had been drugged when he bought it, that or his croissant, and then when he'd felt so dizzy only his ability could keep him standing, he'd been attacked out of nowhere by two ability users. One of them had some sort of lightning based ability, he's not sure about the other.

He's pretty sure he has a concussion.

He's been trying to gauge his injuries, figure out if he'll be able to move, trying to figure out a way to break himself free. He's chained up, but he should be able to break those if the drugs wear off. The door to this room looks solid, but he can break it. If not for the drugs.

At some point, someone comes into the room and injects him with another dose, and he loses all consciousness again. When he wakes up, he starts the thought process over. Where is he, can he fight, how will he get out. He's not the type to ever just wait to be rescued.]

Comments

[diesuki]

[Of course Chuuya is worried. Only an even bigger idiot than Chuuya would not be worried. He didn't technically say that he wasn't worried, either, which means it's fair play by Dazai's standards, and also more reason, rather than less, to assume that Chuuya - even the ever-loyal Chuuya! - is having a Concern.

That's good; it's well deserved. But it's also kind of a bad sign for Chuuya's future.]

... I'm just saying this, but you know there are other places than the mafia where you could live, and even thrive.

[Dazai knows that Chuuya isn't leaving the mafia, but part of Dazai still wishes Chuuya would, at times like these. One day, Mori's mental charts will consider Chuuya more of a liability than an asset, and then a swift end is the best Chuuya can hope for.

There are ways out, even though they come with their own drawbacks, for the mafia in general even more than for Chuuya in specific. But sometimes Dazai really wishes Chuuya would take them anyway, both for his safety and just to see what happens.

But it won't happen.]

[indensity]

[That makes Chuuya stop. For several seconds he's completely still, like he's waiting for Dazai to start making sense, or for his own brain to catch up on that meaning.]

What?

[He looks over at Dazai. That really came out of nowhere, in his opinion. He's never considered leaving the mafia - just like he never considered leaving the Sheep - because loyalty is too important to him. He needs to belong. He refuses to be a traitor. There's a reason why, even after the Sheep turned on him, he continued to protect them.]

You want me to abandon the Organization?

[Yeah, he really wasn't expecting to hear that from Dazai, even though Dazai did abandon the Organization first.]

[diesuki]

[Dazai uses those seconds of silence to refill his glass... and, after some consideration, refill Chuuya's as well. He may or may not regret that later, but it's not like he's making Chuuya drink. If it ends poorly, it's still Chuuya's fault.]

I don't want you to do anything, Chuuya.

[It's none of his business, no matter which way he looks at it, and that's probably for the best. But Chuuya is not going to think of this stuff on his own until it's way too late, and so Dazai can at least do his share by pointing out the obvious. Not that he owes Chuuya anything, but they do go way back... That's an excuse human beings like to use, right?]

But there'll come a time when Mori thinks you're better off dead, and when that happens, it will be best to have a plan in place.

[He swirls the whisky in his glass thoughtfully.]

Well, making such plans isn't going to convince him to change his mind, though.

[And Mori, being Mori, is bound to suspect. That's still not a good reason not to go through with it, however. It may force a slightly quicker outcome, whether for better or for worse, but it's not likely to change the outcome as such.]

[indensity]

[The words hit hard. Chuuya is trying not to react, trying to shove it all down, but it's bringing back memories he was never able to move on from, and Dazai has to know that. The Sheep were terrified of him, and that had been Chuuya's fault. He'd been naive. He'd been trying to do too much for them, and that had left them without confidence, which is why they turned on him. Mori is the one who helped Chuuya see everything he did wrong.

And just the idea that Mori can end up fearing him in the same way is horrifyingly painful.

He does know that Mori isn't someone who trusts others. He verifies, double-checks, and keeps insurances agaisnt everyone. Chuuya is sure he still keeps track of the Sheep just in case he needs to use them as leverage. But still.]

Maybe you're right.

[Chuuya can find a way to prove himself again. He grabs that folder Dazai rejected and opens it, but it's for himself this time. He'll go through the information he gathered, figure out a strategy, see which resources he can get for the mafia.

He doesn't want to think about what Dazai is saying at all.]