[Chuuya makes an annoyed face behind the pillow, and shifts his weight so he can push it away. He ends up sliding halfway off Dazai again, laying on his side next to him, still close.]
You can't prove it.
[Even though they both definitely know it. He's definitely not meeting Dazai's eyes as he says it, just because that would make him too easy to read, so instead he's going to poke Dazai's side just to be annoying. He doesn't feel like doing more than that. In fact, he really just wants to go to sleep like this, staying almost pressed against each other, something that he should hate but he doesn't.
He resists the urge to press himself closer again.]
[They’re too close. When he sleeps with people, Dazai does not want to touch after the fact at all, but he somehow isn’t shoving Chuuya away—though Dazai does swat at the hand that pokes his side.]
Oh? You want to go again already?
[Dazai rolls onto his side, too, keeping the space between them, but it’s less than it used to be. This is… a farce of intimacy, he tells himself, like lovers but absolutely not, because they hate each other. Obviously. The only reason he’s not left yet is because it’s late and he’s tired.]
[The idea of going again already should be horrifying, but it's not. He should be objecting, pulling away from Dazai, kicking him out. Instead he kind of wants to repeat the challenge to see if Dazai really will fuck him a second time. But -- ]
I said it was the last time, didn't I?
[He still says it like a challenge. And he already knows it won't be the last time. Maybe they won't fuck now, but sooner or later, it will definitely happen. It feels as inevitable as everything else about their damn partnership always has.
And it's not like it wasn't the best sex he's ever had.]
[Yes, Chuuya did say it was the last time, but he says things like that a lot and never follows through with them. Dazai can imagine this is probably one of those times, and knows if he tries, Chuuya will definitely be open to going again. Even if he initially fusses about it.]
When have I ever believed you about anything?
[Unfortunately, the true answer to that is plenty, because when it comes down to things that matter, Chuuya is trustworthy. But when it comes to things like this? He’s a terrible liar.
Shifting, Dazai nudges Chuuya’s leg with his foot. This is him inching over that imaginary line, but if it has to do with sex, it doesn’t count.]
[Chuuya gives Dazai an annoyed look, shifting back a little when that leg moves closer. Not far, though. Barely at all. But he doesn’t appreciate being called out, so he has to make a point, even if it’s a lie.]
Guess you really like fucking me. That’s too bad.
[The thing is, Chuuya really could easily go again. It wouldn’t take a lot for Dazai to get him hard now, but he also knows that if they do, he’s unlikely to be allowed an orgasm, and he doesn’t want to deal with how smug Dazai would be after that.
The annoying part is that part of him still thinks the sex would be worth it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge that level of masochism in himself.]
[Dazai doesn't hate fucking Chuuya, and that's enough. Rather, Chuuya's really not a bad lay, not that he'd ever admit it. And now this is sort of on the edge of becoming a challenge, especially when Chuuya tells Dazai to keep to one side of the bed, which Dazai had been intending to do, but now... Well.]
Which side? This side?
[Shifting, Dazai edges further towards that imaginary line, his leg brushing properly against Chuuya's now. He's pretty sure it won't take a lot to get Chuuya hard, considering how pleasantly responsive he is, but whether or not they'll fight about it is another thing.]
[Chuuya doesn’t want to keep pulling back. That makes it seem too much like he’s scared, which he’s definitely not, he just doesn’t want Dazai to win. But the only way for Chuuya to win now would be to convince Dazai to back off.
He tries to kick Dazai’s leg off him.]
I’m going to sleep.
[He no longer feels sleepy. A bit boneless still, with the memory of submission curling in his stomach, not exactly unpleasant but not something he can let himself give in to.]
[ Sleep is good. Sleep means Chuuya will shut the hell up and Dazai can exist in peace. Or... wait, he's supposed to be leaving. He's not staying over. Now that Chuuya is trying to kick him off, though, Dazai feels like letting him give up and go to sleep would be losing, or at least permitting something that might be thought of as 'considerate', and Dazai can't have that.
The question catches him by surprise, though? ]
Huh? I don't want you. [ It's an automatic response, really. ] Weren't you just saying you weren't going to let me fuck you again? And now you're asking how badly I want you?
[ Not badly at all! Dazai could take it or leave it. Leave it, preferably. Even though Chuuya is far more decent in bed than most people he sleeps with. ]
[It worked. Chuuya got Dazai defensive, which means Chuuya might not end up having to admit he'd let Dazai fuck him again... maybe. At least for now.]
You were climbing all over me. You obviously want me a lot.
[He smirks as he says it, and then shoves Dazai back, just to rub it in a bit more. There's no way to for him to feel like he won after tonight, but he can still gain a few points against his asshole ex-partner.]
I'm definitely not letting you fuck me. At least unless you really begged.
Climbing all over you? Hardly. You're the one who couldn't keep your mouth off of me.
[The idea of him, desperate for Chuuya? Laughable. Dazai can get laid; he can find someone to fuck. He can, and will, and that person won't be Chuuya. When he's shoved back, annoyance has him moving in again, into Chuuya's space, a familiarly annoyed glare fixed on him.]
As if I'd ever beg to fuck you. Do you really think I can't find someone else? That I didn't do this for your benefit?
[Though... Dazai wouldn't do anything for Chuuya's benefit, either. Fuck, why is he even still here?]
[Moving closer, that is, right up into Chuuya's space, even if Chuuya had removed that space between them first. He's the one who jumped on top of Dazai to shove that pillow over his head, but at this point that no longer counts, clearly.]
Why the hell would you do that for my benefit? As if I need it, I can easily get someone else to fuck me.
I’m not doing anything. Do you want me to stop? Is it annoying?
[Dazai is waiting for Chuuya to say yes, to get irritated. To kick him out of the bed, and then they’ll argue, and Dazai will leave. Clearly that’s what has to happen between them, and why Dazai is moving into Chuuya’s space, because he likes to be annoying.]
I’m sure you could get someone to fuck you, but you didn’t. And here I am.
[And he knows it wasn't for his benefit. Dazai wouldn't do that, so he'll have to come up with a better lie. Although that leaves them with the idea that they... wanted to do it. Which is not something Chuuya ever plans to say out loud if he can help it.
He won't kick Dazai out, but he will reach down to flick his cock.]
[That's... true. Dazai didn't find someone else to fuck, but he'd- No, there's definitely an excuse for this. Dazai always has an excuse. He's never caught without one.]
Why would I when this was so easily laid out for me?
[Laziness, that's it. Chuuya had been a convenient body, but he makes an irritated noise when Chuuya flicks his cock, reaching down to grab his wrist. Aside from the fact that he's not allowed to touch Dazai without permission--what the hell?]
I let you come, didn't I? Though now I'm rather regretting it.
[If Chuuya isn't allowed to touch without permission, then he doesn't care. It's clearly an optional rule, one that Dazai will have to convince him to follow, and for now he sees no reason to. Although he doesn't try to pull his wrist free. Not yet, anyway.]
Barely.
[He barely let him come. And Chuuya doesn't want to think about the fact that he owes Dazai now.]
And you won't next time. Which is why we're not doing it again.
[Dazai knows no touching without permission is definitely not something Chuuya would follow, and in fact, he'd probably do it more just out of spite. Still, he doesn't let go of Chuuya's wrist yet, for... unknown reasons. He's tired, maybe. Fucking Chuuya is draining, after all.]
Barely, but I did do it.
[Casual touching like this is almost too much; there's no reason for them to do so if sex or violence isn't involved, so Dazai does finally let go, drawing his hand back.]
You owe me a favor, though. So if I decide I want to do it again, would you be able to say no?
[Dazai lets go, and Chuuya is tempted to repeat what he did earlier, flick his dick again, just because. He'll wait, though. He'll see how annoying Dazai is planning to be first.]
If you're calling in the favor, then fine.
[It would mean Dazai could no longer hold it over his head. Plus, the sex is good, so there would be no downside to agreeing to that. Actually, now he's a little hopeful.]
[Dazai isn't planning to call in the favor on something like this, because he could get laid anywhere if he really wanted to, and having something to hold over Chuuya's head is too good to let go so easily. Dazai isn't a fool, and he likes to bide his time, and have plenty of cards up his sleeve. Instead, he snorts, expression disdainful.]
You think I want to fuck you that much?
[He doesn't. Not at all. This was convenience, remember? Chuuya was willing, they know each other, there's no risk. And he's so easy to string along, too. Dazai had been generous, letting him come after that stunt he pulled.]
[Chuuya didn't think Dazai would. Of course Dazai would want Chuuya to willingly let Dazai fuck him, so he can rub it in his face later.]
Then stop talking about it.
[He's going to roll onto his back again now. This is... Probably bad. Despite their arguing, it's too comfortable, and he's not kicking Dazai out. he should, but most likely Dazai will leave soon anyway, so he doesn't have to waste the effort.]
[Dazai should get up. He should, and… he doesn’t, instead rolling onto his side to face away from Chuuya, dragging the blanket over himself. He leaves none for the actual owner of the bed.
Chuuya isn’t kicking him out. That’s also something that should be happening.]
I’ll stop talking when you stop talking.
[He’s just too lazy to get a ride home at this hour, that’s all. After he came all the way here to— no, wait, Dazai just happened to be close (sort of?) and why would he turn down the chance to get off? Even if it means using Chuuya to do it. They’d already crossed that boundary, and you can certainly fuck someone you hate, so. Reasonable.]
[Oh, no way. No way in hell is he letting Dazai steal his blanket. Sure, he could get up and get another one, but that's giving in, and he can't do that. They both know he's not going to do that. So instead he rolls over, yanks at the edge of the blanket to pull it up, and crawls under.
This places him almost completely up against Dazai's back.]
Fine. I'll be quiet.
[He knows Dazai will hate this. Hopefully, he'll be so disgusted that he gets out of bed and leaves. Chuuya shifts so he can get comfortable, feeling the warmth of Dazai's body so close.]
[He should ignore Chuuya completely, but that's always been such a hard thing to do, so Dazai yanks at the blanket, pulling it closer to himself. There's no way Chuuya is just going to get into bed with him, right? He's going to kick Dazai to the floor, or something.
But no, he doesn't. There's no instance where Dazai is suddenly on the floor, or being smothered with another pillow. There's just--the warmth of someone's back up against his, and despite his intention, he tenses up at the feeling. Yeah, it's... gross. Dazai doesn't like it. But he also knows that Chuuya is doing this on purpose, so he's going to have to grit his teeth and bear with it.]
There's something disgusting in the bed with me. Check on it, will you?
[There's no way Dazai wants to stay now that Chuuya is actually touching him. He doesn't ever spend the night with people he sleeps with, and even if he hadn't just fucked Chuuya, Dazai had only been acting like he'd spend the night to mess with him.]
[Chuuya keeps a tight grip on the blanket so he'll stay covered and warm, and refuses to move. He's willing this battle of wills, he's determined.]
That's just because you never shower.
[He knows it's not true, but since when was that relevant?
And maybe he should just go to sleep... It's probably a bad idea. It's definitely a bad idea. But it's not like they haven't passed out together before. And if Dazai leaves while Chuuya is asleep, then that saves him the effort of having to kick him out. He closes his eyes.]
[If Dazai grinds his teeth any harder, it would be audible. He hates this; Chuuya is just letting him sleep in his bed when Dazai might knife him in his sleep--but the fact that they both know Dazai wouldn't is the worst part of all. Dazai is tired, but he doesn't want to pass out in Chuuya's bed despite the fact they've fallen asleep together before, but those times were different! Those times weren't after sex, or anything that could be misinterpreted as positive. After grueling missions, sure. When they were both beat the fuck up, yeah. But this?
And with Chuuya willingly so close?
No, it doesn't sit right with Dazai at all. But while he's having this internal crisis, the fact remains that he is not moving to get up, even though it would be so, so easy. He can already feel Chuuya's breathing slowing where their backs touch.]
You shut up and sleep, Chuuya.
[He just has to get the final word in. What Dazai has of the blanket is firmly tucked under his chin, wrapped up like a shield despite the fact that it doesn't matter when Chuuya is behind him.
He'll get up. He will. After Chuuya falls asleep, Dazai will grab his things and go. He just... doesn't want Chuuya to win. That's it. And that's what Dazai keeps telling himself, like repeating it over and over in his head will make it any more true, even as his own eyes grow heavy. He'll just close them a moment. And then he'll leave. Except- It's far too easy to fall asleep, which he does, far before he manages to drag himself out of the bed.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You can't prove it.
[Even though they both definitely know it. He's definitely not meeting Dazai's eyes as he says it, just because that would make him too easy to read, so instead he's going to poke Dazai's side just to be annoying. He doesn't feel like doing more than that. In fact, he really just wants to go to sleep like this, staying almost pressed against each other, something that he should hate but he doesn't.
He resists the urge to press himself closer again.]
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Oh? You want to go again already?
[Dazai rolls onto his side, too, keeping the space between them, but it’s less than it used to be. This is… a farce of intimacy, he tells himself, like lovers but absolutely not, because they hate each other. Obviously. The only reason he’s not left yet is because it’s late and he’s tired.]
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I said it was the last time, didn't I?
[He still says it like a challenge. And he already knows it won't be the last time. Maybe they won't fuck now, but sooner or later, it will definitely happen. It feels as inevitable as everything else about their damn partnership always has.
And it's not like it wasn't the best sex he's ever had.]
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When have I ever believed you about anything?
[Unfortunately, the true answer to that is plenty, because when it comes down to things that matter, Chuuya is trustworthy. But when it comes to things like this? He’s a terrible liar.
Shifting, Dazai nudges Chuuya’s leg with his foot. This is him inching over that imaginary line, but if it has to do with sex, it doesn’t count.]
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Guess you really like fucking me. That’s too bad.
[The thing is, Chuuya really could easily go again. It wouldn’t take a lot for Dazai to get him hard now, but he also knows that if they do, he’s unlikely to be allowed an orgasm, and he doesn’t want to deal with how smug Dazai would be after that.
The annoying part is that part of him still thinks the sex would be worth it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge that level of masochism in himself.]
Keep to that side of the bed, bastard.
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Which side? This side?
[Shifting, Dazai edges further towards that imaginary line, his leg brushing properly against Chuuya's now. He's pretty sure it won't take a lot to get Chuuya hard, considering how pleasantly responsive he is, but whether or not they'll fight about it is another thing.]
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He tries to kick Dazai’s leg off him.]
I’m going to sleep.
[He no longer feels sleepy. A bit boneless still, with the memory of submission curling in his stomach, not exactly unpleasant but not something he can let himself give in to.]
How badly do you want me, Dazai?
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The question catches him by surprise, though? ]
Huh? I don't want you. [ It's an automatic response, really. ] Weren't you just saying you weren't going to let me fuck you again? And now you're asking how badly I want you?
[ Not badly at all! Dazai could take it or leave it. Leave it, preferably. Even though Chuuya is far more decent in bed than most people he sleeps with. ]
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You were climbing all over me. You obviously want me a lot.
[He smirks as he says it, and then shoves Dazai back, just to rub it in a bit more. There's no way to for him to feel like he won after tonight, but he can still gain a few points against his asshole ex-partner.]
I'm definitely not letting you fuck me. At least unless you really begged.
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[The idea of him, desperate for Chuuya? Laughable. Dazai can get laid; he can find someone to fuck. He can, and will, and that person won't be Chuuya. When he's shoved back, annoyance has him moving in again, into Chuuya's space, a familiarly annoyed glare fixed on him.]
As if I'd ever beg to fuck you. Do you really think I can't find someone else? That I didn't do this for your benefit?
[Though... Dazai wouldn't do anything for Chuuya's benefit, either. Fuck, why is he even still here?]
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[Moving closer, that is, right up into Chuuya's space, even if Chuuya had removed that space between them first. He's the one who jumped on top of Dazai to shove that pillow over his head, but at this point that no longer counts, clearly.]
Why the hell would you do that for my benefit? As if I need it, I can easily get someone else to fuck me.
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[Dazai is waiting for Chuuya to say yes, to get irritated. To kick him out of the bed, and then they’ll argue, and Dazai will leave. Clearly that’s what has to happen between them, and why Dazai is moving into Chuuya’s space, because he likes to be annoying.]
I’m sure you could get someone to fuck you, but you didn’t. And here I am.
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[And he knows it wasn't for his benefit. Dazai wouldn't do that, so he'll have to come up with a better lie. Although that leaves them with the idea that they... wanted to do it. Which is not something Chuuya ever plans to say out loud if he can help it.
He won't kick Dazai out, but he will reach down to flick his cock.]
And it was pretty disappointing.
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Why would I when this was so easily laid out for me?
[Laziness, that's it. Chuuya had been a convenient body, but he makes an irritated noise when Chuuya flicks his cock, reaching down to grab his wrist. Aside from the fact that he's not allowed to touch Dazai without permission--what the hell?]
I let you come, didn't I? Though now I'm rather regretting it.
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Barely.
[He barely let him come. And Chuuya doesn't want to think about the fact that he owes Dazai now.]
And you won't next time. Which is why we're not doing it again.
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Barely, but I did do it.
[Casual touching like this is almost too much; there's no reason for them to do so if sex or violence isn't involved, so Dazai does finally let go, drawing his hand back.]
You owe me a favor, though. So if I decide I want to do it again, would you be able to say no?
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If you're calling in the favor, then fine.
[It would mean Dazai could no longer hold it over his head. Plus, the sex is good, so there would be no downside to agreeing to that. Actually, now he's a little hopeful.]
That's the only way it's happening, though.
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You think I want to fuck you that much?
[He doesn't. Not at all. This was convenience, remember? Chuuya was willing, they know each other, there's no risk. And he's so easy to string along, too. Dazai had been generous, letting him come after that stunt he pulled.]
no subject
Then stop talking about it.
[He's going to roll onto his back again now. This is... Probably bad. Despite their arguing, it's too comfortable, and he's not kicking Dazai out. he should, but most likely Dazai will leave soon anyway, so he doesn't have to waste the effort.]
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Chuuya isn’t kicking him out. That’s also something that should be happening.]
I’ll stop talking when you stop talking.
[He’s just too lazy to get a ride home at this hour, that’s all. After he came all the way here to— no, wait, Dazai just happened to be close (sort of?) and why would he turn down the chance to get off? Even if it means using Chuuya to do it. They’d already crossed that boundary, and you can certainly fuck someone you hate, so. Reasonable.]
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This places him almost completely up against Dazai's back.]
Fine. I'll be quiet.
[He knows Dazai will hate this. Hopefully, he'll be so disgusted that he gets out of bed and leaves. Chuuya shifts so he can get comfortable, feeling the warmth of Dazai's body so close.]
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But no, he doesn't. There's no instance where Dazai is suddenly on the floor, or being smothered with another pillow. There's just--the warmth of someone's back up against his, and despite his intention, he tenses up at the feeling. Yeah, it's... gross. Dazai doesn't like it. But he also knows that Chuuya is doing this on purpose, so he's going to have to grit his teeth and bear with it.]
There's something disgusting in the bed with me. Check on it, will you?
[There's no way Dazai wants to stay now that Chuuya is actually touching him. He doesn't ever spend the night with people he sleeps with, and even if he hadn't just fucked Chuuya, Dazai had only been acting like he'd spend the night to mess with him.]
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That's just because you never shower.
[He knows it's not true, but since when was that relevant?
And maybe he should just go to sleep... It's probably a bad idea. It's definitely a bad idea. But it's not like they haven't passed out together before. And if Dazai leaves while Chuuya is asleep, then that saves him the effort of having to kick him out. He closes his eyes.]
Shut up and sleep, Dazai.
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And with Chuuya willingly so close?
No, it doesn't sit right with Dazai at all. But while he's having this internal crisis, the fact remains that he is not moving to get up, even though it would be so, so easy. He can already feel Chuuya's breathing slowing where their backs touch.]
You shut up and sleep, Chuuya.
[He just has to get the final word in. What Dazai has of the blanket is firmly tucked under his chin, wrapped up like a shield despite the fact that it doesn't matter when Chuuya is behind him.
He'll get up. He will. After Chuuya falls asleep, Dazai will grab his things and go. He just... doesn't want Chuuya to win. That's it. And that's what Dazai keeps telling himself, like repeating it over and over in his head will make it any more true, even as his own eyes grow heavy. He'll just close them a moment. And then he'll leave. Except- It's far too easy to fall asleep, which he does, far before he manages to drag himself out of the bed.]